Always in the back of my mind, you'll be my girl

There she was. Mary Macdonald. 

Bubbly, energetic, lovely Mary. Mary, in the soft arms of Lily Evans.

Kissing.

Of course they would be kissing. It was valentine’s day, after all, and Mary and Lily were on a date. Their fifth after getting into a relationship three weeks ago.

Emmeline would have thrown up every time seeing them if it hadn’t meant needing to explain what bothered her so much about the sight.

Mary was happier, after all. Her smile had changed since she and Lily had started dating. Before, it had been as bright as the moon on a clear night, but now it was as if her smile was outdoing the sun itself. 

Emmeline wished that once, only once, Mary could look at her like that too.

But Emmeline had had her chance, at that party from James Potter and Sirius Black four weeks ago in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Emmeline had the privilege of being friends with Fabian Prewett since they both got sorted into Hufflepuff their first night at hogwarts. Fabian’s Brother Gideon though was a Gryffindor and had sneaked them into his Common Room so they could celebrate with them as well. 

Emmeline had gone only because she knew that Mary would be there.

Mary, who she met every week in Muggle Studies, who had patiently explained to her every question she had about rubber ducks and cell phones. Mary, who seemed to be oblivious of the way the light caught in her dark curls, of the way her eyes sparkled when she talked a little too fastly about a topic that interested her, of the way the mear sound of her voice made Emmeline’s heart beat faster.

Once at the party, the colors and smells and especially the loud music and even louder chatters had quickly overwhelmed Emmeline. Mary had noticed.

She and Emmeline had hidden in Mary’s dorm, both leaning against Mary’s bed as they sat on the floor while Emmeline had tried to calm her nerves with counting her breaths.

Mary stayed with her the whole time, calming her with the explanation of a muggle item Emmeline had since then forgotten. The item hadn’t been important. What had been important was how Mary’s angelic voice was able to calm her in just a few seconds. 

Emmeline had looked up at Mary, trying to voice her thankfulness when she realized the closeness between their two faces. Her breath had caught, and Mary had gone unusually quiet.

The only thing Emmeline had to do was lean forward, to ask for a kiss.

But she didn’t.

Not in that moment nor later that evening. Not the next days.

She had thought about it though. Every damn second.

Mary was her world, before that night and even more so after.

But it was too late. The week after, Mary and Lily had started dating.

Emmeline had waited too long. She had lost her chance.

It was a bitter feeling in her mouth every time she saw them together.

Mary had passed her by.