NINETEEN
JULY 4th 1995
“I just want to talk to Ron and Hermione before dinner.,” Harry said, stealing another hug from Sirius and bounding up the stairs.
Mrs Weasley came back into the kitchen just after Harry left. The air in the room was tense. Almost palpable. Hermione cleared her throat.
“Would you like some help, Molly?” She offered.
“Well…” Molly looked over at the several dishes she was cooking at once. “Do you cook a lot, Hestia?”
“Loads! She’s cooked almost every meal for us since she’s been here.” Sirius said. Molly gestured to the cupboard with plates and the doors opened. Sirius sighed and stood.
“Hey! Not every meal,” Remus said, going to stand.
Molly pushed his shoulders down, “No, no, you sit Remus. We’ll take care of it.” Remus grinned at Sirius who stood, open-mouthed and glaring at the werewolf.
“Tonks is staying for dinner,” Molly added. Hermione grinned to herself as Remus sighed. Molly turned and gave him a pointed look.
“Yes, Molly, thank you,” Remus said in a strained voice.
“She is lovely,” Hermione remarked, smirking over her shoulder at her friend.
“Right, thank you!” Remus muttered, glaring at the back of Hermione’s head with a frown.
Harry scrambled up the steps and opened the first door he came to. Immediately he was covered in bushy honey-coloured hair as Hermione threw herself on him, Ron following, wrapping his arms around the pair.
“Oh, Harry!” Hermione shrieked in his ear, “Ron, he’s here!”
“I can see that, Mione,” Ron chuckled as he pulled away from the pair.
“Oh, Harry, did Sirius tell you? Are you absolutely furious with us?” Hermione gushed, “I know I would be. I know our letters didn’t say much, but Sirius wanted it to be a surprise and-”
“Let him breathe, Hermione,” Ron grinned, closing the door, “Cheers, mate!”
“Thank you!” Harry beamed at the pair of them, “I have so much to tell you, I don’t know where to start.” Harry sat down on the bed.
“And us, you,” Hermione said, climbing up on the bed and crossing her legs under her.
“So, the trial-”
“Oh, it’s not for ages!” Hermione groaned, “We got here a few days ago and the first thing they had us all do was bottle our memories. Hestia set it all up, you met her, right? She’s absolutely brilliant.”
Ron snorted, “I think our Hermione has a crush on her.”
“Oh, please, Ronald. I just think she’s brilliant,” Hermione rolled her eyes, though a slight blush tinged her cheeks, “Anyway, she had us do that and she sent everything over to the Ministry. It was memories of the night we met Sirius. Of Pettigrew admitting what he did. She even told Fudge that she would tell everyone he illegally neglected to give Sirius a trial after many people told him Millicent Bagnold had not given him one. She also somehow knew about my… arrangement with that Skeeter woman.”
“I can’t believe she blackmailed the Minister of Magic,” Harry said, “All for Sirius.”
“Yes, I know. Brilliant, I said. Ron thinks they’re together.”
“They have to be!” Ron said, “No way she goes through all that if they aren’t shagging- ow!” He broke off when Hermione smacked his stomach with the back of her hand.
“Or they could just be friends. Besides, Professor Lupin is a far better match for her.”
“Oh, please-” Ron said, as he rolled off the end of the bed, dodging another of Hermione’s smacks.
Harry grinned at them both.
“So, Harry, what did Sirius say?” Hermione asked, ignoring Ron as he grumbled to his feet.
“Not too much. Voldemort is building an army. The Order is trying to build an army too,” Harry rubbed his scar absently.
“That’s it?”
“Well, and that he’s… looking for something. A weapon,” Harry explained. Hermione continued to look puzzled and Harry could see her mind whirling. “Your mum interrupted us,” He told Ron, “Before they could keep telling me.”
“Ugh, mum,” Ron swore, “Well, do you think they will tell you more?”
“I hope so!” Harry said, glancing around the room, “I can’t believe this is his house.”
“I know,” Hermione said thoughtfully, “His parents must have been really dark wizards. Hestia said they have already cleaned the worst of it out.”
“I had no idea he was a part of this type of family…” Harry muttered, picking at the duvet. Hermione put her hand over his.
“That’s only because he hasn’t had the time to tell you. Now you get to really talk to him and get to know him.”
“You’re right,” Harry nodded as there was a hard rap on the door.
“Mum says dinner is ready!” Ginny said as she opened the door. She blushed and smiled at Harry, “Oh, Harry! You’re here!”
“Hey, Ginny,” Harry said quietly.
“Well come on then, dinner!” Ron rushed to the door. Hermione snorted and jumped off the bed after him.
“Come on, Harry,” Hermione wrapped her arm around his waist as they made their way down the stairs, “Welcome home,” She whispered.
Sirius entered the study with Remus and Harry where Hermione was sat with her younger self. She was clearly talking about books, given her animated expression. It was bizarre to see Hermione behind her disguise. And even more bizarre to see her younger self with the same expressions.
“Do you mind giving us the room, Hermione?” Remus asked young Hermione quietly.
“Of course!” She stood and grabbed a small pile of books off the table, “Goodnight, Hestia, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Hermione smiled, though Sirius could see the unease behind the smile.
“Alright Harry, it’s just us now. We have loads to tell you,” Sirius sighed as he sat next to Hermione.
“Are you and Hestia together?” Harry blurted. Hermione and Sirius flinched and moved away from each other on the sofa.
“What?” Sirius looked over at Hermione, “No,” He laughed, “We are not.” Hermione would never like him that way. Remus was much better suited for her, though he couldn’t get him to see that. Even with his mate in the picture, the two of them got on a lot better than they liked to admit.
“Oh, okay.” Harry said looking between them, “Sorry.”
“That’s okay,” Hermione told him. Sirius couldn’t help but notice the slight blush that graced her cheeks.
“Well, we’re going to tell you everything,” Sirius declared and Harry’s eyes lit up. He sat forward and leaned his elbows on his knees, staring at them expectantly.
“Everything?”
“Everything.” Remus smiled at the young boy.
“And we know you’re going to tell Ron and Hermione everything,” Sirius grinned. They all chuckled. He would have done the same with his friends. “And that’s fine, but I want you to keep it quiet and not tell anyone else.”
“Okay. Swear,” Harry said quickly, nodding vigorously.
So they told him. They told him everything. Hermione had insisted that they spare no detail and answer every question he could possibly have. It pained Sirius greatly, telling him what they knew, especially when they answered his questions about Dumbledore knowing all along. None of them took any pleasure in seeing the young man hurting so desperately at the betrayal from his mentor.
Finally, when they’d run out of things to say, the four of them just sat quietly. Sirius didn’t know what to say in this situation. He desperately wished that James was there to be a father to Harry.
“I know it’s a lot to take in,” Remus finally murmured into the silence.
“A lot to take in?!” Harry burst out.
“Harry,” Hermione said softly, kindly, “Yes, it is a lot. But you have to know we are not going to let anything happen to you. Yes, it all means what it sounds like it means, but we will find a way around it all.”
“What way?” Harry begged, tears filling his eyes. Sirius’ throat clenched and she took a deep breath. The truth was better than lying to him, he told himself. Hermione had repeated it to him many times in the last few days. Everyone had lied to him for too long.
“Well, we don’t know yet, but,” Hermione said quickly, before he could speak, “We will not let you die. I-” She took another deep breath, “I know you don’t know me, but trust me. Trust Remus. Trust Sirius. We will take care of you. You’re not alone.”
“I need- I just-” Harry buried his face in his hands, “How am I-” He broke off and Sirius' heart dropped. He stood quickly and made his way over to Harry, wrapping his arm around him. Harry turned into Sirius’ chest and breathed in a heaving sob.
Neither can live while the other survives. Sirius realized it was all too much and he was holding Harry tight and suddenly, like that night in the hospital wing with Mrs Weasley, Harry started to cry. He couldn’t stop. Sirius really saw his age then. He had the weight of the entire Wizarding World on his shoulders now. He was a small, terrified fourteen-year-old boy. One whose life they had completely destroyed in the past hour.
“I can just see it all,” Harry whimpered, “Kill the spare.” he quoted Voldemort, unleashing a new wave of tears.
“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Sirius whispered to him, rocking slowly. He looked up at his friends, eyes pained and shining with his own tears,
He watched Remus wrap his arm around Hermione as she wiped at her face. Was Hermione right? Was it better like this, for him to be feeling everything he’d gone through? Or had it all caused more pain? It broke him apart, not knowing. The complete trust in Hermione he had was cracking for the first time since she’d entered his life. He pushed it away and focused on holding and comforting his weeping godson. The three of them pulled themselves together while Harry began to quiet.
“I’m sorry,” he croaked, pulling away from Sirius’ chest. He kept his arm wrapped around the boy even as Harry wiped at his face.
“Don’t apologize, love,” Hermione shook her head, her voice hoarse and scratchy, “You have every right to feel what you’re feeling. And you have every right to feel it in a way that serves you.”
“Harry,” Sirius said calmly. Harry turned to look at him and Sirius was struck by Lily’s bright, wise eyes looking up at him. “You have spent a lot of the time not feeling. A lot of time with a family that wanted you to do anything but feel. A family that abused you.”
Harry flinched, embarrassed, “How did you know…?” Harry looked between the three of them.
Remus moved to the edge of his seat, closer to Harry. “I noticed the signs those first several weeks when I was teaching you. The bruises you came in with. And Sirius-”
“I met Petunia and Vernon when I was younger. Lily took me to their wedding as a date,” Sirius smiled at the memory. “Bad choice on her part, really. But I knew they weren’t great people. And then we learned from Ron and Hermione…”
“They know?” Harry exclaimed, alarmed. Sirius made a comforting noise as Hermione put a hand over his.
“Not specifics,” She said, assuring him, “Just suspicions. But this evening, I could see your bruises when you were picking up your room.” He flushed and Sirius felt him take a shuddering breath. “I would really like to heal them if you’d let me.” Harry looked up at Sirius at her question, eyes bright and worried.
“Hestia is a great healer, Harry. I think it would be wise to let her help you. And this will never happen again because you’re never going back to that house.” Sirius squeezed his shoulder gently.
“...Al-alright,” Harry moved away from Sirius and stood, pulling his shirt off. Sirius stifled a gasp. How had Harry gotten so skinny in only a week? Was he this small before and no one had noticed? The black and blue bruises only made his small size more obvious. Sirius watched Hermione bite hard on her lip, lifting her wand slowly, running simple scans over him.
“I’m just going to cast some numbing spells and put some of this bruise paste on, alright?” She asked him quietly, her voice shaking with the effort to control her emotions. He nodded slowly, eyes staring at the ceiling while she worked. When all the paste was on, she picked up his shirt and handed it back to him.
“Done?” Harry asked, his voice strained.
“Done,” Hermione nodded. “Here’s a pain potion if you need it for sleeping. They should be mostly gone tomorrow morning after you have a good night’s sleep.” Sirius saw her hand shaking slightly while she handed him the potion.
“Thank you, Hestia,” Harry murmured and then pulled her in for a hug. She froze at first before wrapping her arms gently around him and returning the embrace. Sirius locked eyes with her and smiled encouragingly.
“I’m going to head up to bed,” She said as she moved away from Harry.
“I think I will as well,” Remus stood and put a hand on Harry’s shoulder, “Good night, Harry.” Harry hugged Remus quickly too, to his surprise.
“Good night,” Harry said to them both as they left. He turned back to his godfather.
“I didn’t know it was that bad,” Sirius whispered to him, “I’m so sorry.”
Harry shrugged, “I didn’t want you to know.” He sat back down on the sofa, “I didn’t want to worry you more than you were already worried about me.” Sirius pushed Harry’s messy hair away from his face.
“I’m glad you’re safe now. I’ll take care of you, pup. I promise,” Sirius said as Harry grinned at him. “You can always come home here. Whenever you want. Your room is on the floor with mine, Hestia, and Remus’. I hope that’s okay. We can decorate it however you like.”
“It's more than okay. Thanks, Sirius." Harry paused, looking anxious, "Is it okay if we stay down here for a little longer? I’m not ready to be alone just yet.”
“We can stay here for as long as you like.”