TWELVE
JUNE 25 1995
“Mad!” Fudge whispered, “Insane!”
“If this is your choice, Cornelius,” Dumbledore said, “we have reached a parting of the ways. I shall act as I see fit.”
There was nothing menacing about the way Dumbledore calmly told him, but Fudge’s eyes widened as if Dumbledore had drawn his wand.
“I have given you free rein, always. You hired werewolves, kept Hagrid, taught whatever you want! And now you’re going against my-”
Dumbledore shook his head, “The only one I intend to go against is Lord Voldemort. We are on the same side.” Fudge backed away once more, fidgeting with the bowler hat in his hands.
“He can’t be…” Fudge asked the room. “He can’t be back.” With a loud huff, Snape stepped forward, brandishing the mark on his left arm. Hermione’s scar stung in the same spot and she sucked in a sharp breath. Fudge ignored Severus’ explanation and dropped the bag of winnings onto the table beside Harry’s bed and left the room.
Padfoot crawled up Harry’s bed and put his face next to the boy’s, nuzzling into his shoulder.
“Thanks, Padfoot,” Harry whispered, closing his eyes. There was a flurry of activity and Hermione watched as Bill, Poppy, and Minerva left the room. Harry held the dog tightly, screwing up his face.
“Sirius,” Dumbledore called, “If you could resume your usual form…” Padfoot jumped off the bed and become the man, dressed in his velvet robes, grey eyes red-rimmed. Molly screamed. Severus snarled.
“What is he doing here?” Snape growled. Dumbledore sighed and forced the two men to shake hands.
“Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin-”
“I’m here, Sir.” Remus strode quickly into the room, out of breath. Hermione felt some of her fear ebb away as he walked towards Harry and Sirius.
“Remus,” Dumbledore nodded to him, “We need the old crowd alerted. Both of you lie low at Lupin Cottage.”
“But-” Harry sat up straighter.
Sirius looked torn, “You’ll see me very soon, Harry. I promise you,” Hermione could see Sirius fighting for composure as he spoke with his godson.
“Can I just talk to you alone for a minute?” Harry asked, his green eyes pleading. Dumbledore nodded at the group and they all filed out. Hermione watched her younger self go with a concerned glance back at Harry. Under the cloak, Hermione stayed put, though moved closer, as they were speaking quietly.
“What do you need, Harry?” Sirius moved to sit on the bed but Harry shook his head.
“You let me go into that maze, Padfoot, and you-you said-you said ‘don’t touch the cup’” Harry’s voice broke and Hermione gasped, covering her mouth. “You knew something bad was going to happen!”
“Harry.” Sirius’ voice was strained, his eyes wet, “I wasn’t supposed to tell you, oh some people are going to be furious with me, but I couldn’t stop you from going in. The binding of the Goblet would have killed you if you hadn’t competed. I thought that this way you wouldn’t win, you wouldn’t go-”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry cried, covering his face, “I saw- I saw Cedric- and it’s-”
“My fault,” Sirius nodded, “I’m so sorry, Harry. I promised to protect you and I failed. I can’t tell you everything right now, but I will. I promise you I will. I won’t let you down again. I-” Sirius’ voice caught in his throat and he let out a shuddering breath, “I love you, Harry. I will take care of you.”
“But you’re leaving me again!” Harry couldn’t stop the flood of tears of bursting forth. Sirius wrapped his arms around him and the young boy shook his head, sobs ripping from his throat. “I saw- I saw Cedric die,” Harry sobbed into Sirius’ chest. They stayed that way for several minutes.“I want my mum,” He whispered, shoulders still shaking.
“I know,” Sirius face crumpled and he held Harry tightly to him, “I know I’m not enough, but I am right here. And you’re gonna be okay, Harry.” Sirius pulled Harry away by the shoulders and wiped the snot and tears from his godson’s face. “You will see me very soon, I just have to do what I can.”
“I understand,” Harry nodded and hugged Sirius close again as Dumbledore cleared his throat from the door.
“Take the rest of your potion, Harry.” Sirius picked up the bottle and poured it into the goblet.
“Have a good long rest,” Molly offered, walking to the other side of the bed and smoothing back Harry’s hair. “Think about what you’re going to do with your winnings!”
“I don’t want that gold,” Harry said to the room but continued to look at Sirius. Harry’s breath caught again, “It should have been Cedric’s.” Tears filled his vibrant green eyes once more and Sirius put a hand on the side of his face.
“It wasn’t your fault, Harry,” Sirius whispered, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. Harry nodded and took the potion from Sirius, drinking it in one gulp and almost immediately falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.
JUNE 25 1995
Padfoot sat between Hermione and Remus, his heavy head resting on her thigh. Hermione gently stroked his head and whispered assurances into the dog’s fluffy ears.
“You did a wonderful job today, Sirius. You didn’t let him down. He’s okay. You’re okay,” the dog whined at Hermione and she fell silent, bending forward to put her forehead on the dog’s. He licked her nose softly and whined again, as if in pain.
“I’m sorry,” Remus murmured from across the couch, “I should have checked up on you more, Padfoot. I didn’t know it could get this bad.”
Sirius had turned into Padfoot after arriving at Lupin Cottage and taking one look at Hermione. She had been furious with him, just as he had told Harry someone would be. But he broke down, he cracked. Padfoot howled and whined and cried. And she and Remus had been the only ones around to help pick up the pieces. The conversation with Harry had hurt him, deeply. More, maybe, than Azkaban and years of torment from the Dementors. More than the pain of seeing his best friends dead. More than Wormtail’s betrayal. He’d almost lost Harry, he had let him down, failed him. That was too much for Sirius to take. But not too much for Padfoot.
“I think you should both stay here tonight… or until Sirius comes back to himself,” Remus offered, standing, “I don’t have much, but it’s a safe place to sleep, I think.” He gestured for her to follow and Padfoot leapt off the couch to walk behind them. When the reached the spare bedroom Padfoot jumped on the bed, curling up at the end. “No, Padfoot. Hermione is going to sleep here.” The large dog let out a deep whine.
“It’s okay, Remus. I can sleep on the sofa,” Hermione suggested when Padfoot whined again. “Ah,” She said, understanding, “Okay. I’ll stay with you, Padfoot.” She stepped forward and rubbed his ears softly. “I’d love to take a shower, Remus, if that’s alright?” Hermione asked, not moving away from Padfoot, “And no, you can’t join me.” The dog nipped playfully at her fingers and she smiled.
“Of course, I’ll show you everything,” Remus lead her to the bathroom and she sorted herself, washing away the day, the guilt and shame she felt at what Harry had been through. When she made her way back downstairs, Padfoot jumped up to curl next to her on the sofa.
“Did Dumbledore stop by?” She called to Remus in the kitchen. He walked in, handing a cup of tea to Hermione before sinking into a large armchair.
“He sent a Patronus. He said he would stop by in a few days.” Remus closed his eyes and sighed. “Do you mind telling me what happened while I wasn’t there?” Hermione nodded, burying her free hand in the long fur on Padfoot’s neck. She told Remus about Moody, about Barty Crouch and about everything Harry had said in Dumbledore’s office. When she got to the part about James and Lily appearing from the wand, Padfoot began to whine and shake, nuzzling his nose into Hermione’s side. Remus’ hazel eyes shone with tears and he wiped them away quickly as they fell down his face at the retelling of how James and Lily had protected their son, even in death.
“You heard the conversation with Sirius and Harry?” Hermione asked, assuming his lycanthropic hearing would have allowed him to be in on the whole conversation.
“Yes,” Remus nodded sadly, staring at Padfoot, “That was a rough one to hear. We need to figure out how to get them together. Harry should move into Grimmauld Place.”
“I agree. It will be made Headquarters soon, and Harry should be in the loop,” Hermione remembered the shouting fit Harry had when he first arrived to find Ron and Harry there in her time.
Remus sighed, “You think Albus will really go for that?”
“No,” Hermione shook her head, “But if he wants the future to change, then it’s not really an option for him to say no.”
“What about you, ‘Mione?” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “In Dumbledore’s office, you had that-”
“Panic attack, yeah.”
“How was the rest of the day?” He asked, eyes soft and searching.
Hermione took a shaky breath, “Horrible. The Great Hall especially. There was a battle there. The final battle. And I couldn’t stop seeing it all.”
“I’m sorry. You can always talk about it if you need.”
“No, thank you,” She drained the last of her tea, “Not tonight. Not yet. I am going to try to sleep.” Hermione stood and walked to the kitchen, placing the mug in the sink. Padfoot trailed behind her, tail between his legs.
“Goodnight, Hermione,” Remus murmured, stepping in front of her as she reached the steps and pulling her into a hug. She let herself feel safe in his arms and took a deep breath.
“Goodnight, Remus,” She breathed, voice shaky. She pulled away and made her way up the stare with Padfoot right behind. He jumped up on the bed and stared expectantly at her. She sighed and pulled off her trousers, leaving her light longsleeved shirt on, and climbed into bed. The large dog cuddled up along her side and she put her arm across him, curling around him. Padfoot sighed and soft snores started drifting through the air. Hermione closed her eyes and let tears leak from the corners of her eyes, falling lightly on the pillow under her. They had all let Harry down that day. They had done nothing to fix it and wasn’t that the whole reason she was here? To save them? To change everything?
JUNE 26 1995
“What are we supposed to do, Remus?” Hermione sat down with a sigh, running her hands over her face. Remus looked over her shoulder into the back garden where Padfoot was dozing on the grass.
“I don’t know,” Remus plopped a cup of tea in front of her and his eyes searched her worried face.
“I know the only way to get him back is to give him the time and space he needs to heal, but-”
“You miss him,” Remus finished. “I do too. I don’t know why I never… he just seemed so okay after he escaped Hogwarts.”
“What happened after he flew away?” Hermione asked, “He turned up here, didn’t he?”
“Yes. Clambered in a few days after with Buckbeak. I’m not sure where he was in between. He never said, but I never asked…” Remus frowned.
“When did he move into Grimmauld Place?”
“Two days before you showed up. He was abroad for the summer and the beginning of the year. After Harry was entered… well, you know. He was in Hogsmeade.”
Hermione nodded, “living off rats.” She shuddered and looked over her shoulder at the large dog.
“I convinced Dumbledore that Sirius should have a home, and he needed to be easily acceptable. I am surprised Dumbledore went for it, honestly.”
“Some of the choices that man has been making…” Hermione sighed. “I want to get his name cleared, Remus.” His hazel eyes flashed silver at her proclamation.
“How?”
“I’m not sure yet,” She admitted truthfully, “But it will have something to do with Albus, I know that. He should have done something when Wormtail escaped. He’s Chief Warlock for fuck’s sake. I don’t know what we need to do, but I know we need to do it fast. Things aren’t going to go well with Fudge in the next year,” Hermione grimaced as visions of pink filled her mind, “Not well at all.
“I don’t know what we can do then,” Remus looked again at his old friend, “If Fudge isn’t on our side…”
“Yes, but, what if we could get him on our side? With Veritaserum and a Pensive full of memories, what more could we need?”
“Honestly Hermione, political power,” Remus told her, his frown deepening the lines on his face, “And if you say that Fudge and Dumbledore don’t reconcile…” Remus took her hand as her brows furrowed.
“I’ll find a way, Remus,” Hermione muttered, looking down, “He can’t be locked in that house. He’ll go mad.” Remus nodded and stood up as Padfoot started walking to the back door.
“Come on in, Pads,” Remus directed him inside and shut the door behind him. Padfoot beelined for Hermione, resting his head on her knee for an ear scratch before laying down at her feet, a paw on her foot. She pulled the book on the table towards her and started to read. They could talk no more of Sirius.
JUNE 29 1995
Three more days had passed before Padfoot showed any signs of improvement. Hermione woke from her sleep with a scream caught in her throat. A groan beside her had her jumping from the bed, wand in hand.
“Sirius? Lumos!” as the beam of light rid the room of darkness, she saw the tiniest shimmer of magic around the large black dog. He had been Sirius. She had no idea for how long, but for the first time in days he had been something other than the Hermione-obsessed, cuddly, bear-like grim. Hermione couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks as she climbed back into bed. Padfoot whined and pressed his head into her chest. A sob ripped through her, an after effect of the nightmare she’d had and the ache in her heart of not having Sirius there to make it go away.
“Hermione?” A soft, gruff voice called. She looked at the open door to see shining, silver eyes gleaming back at her. Remus stepped into the light and his eyes were hazel once more and his face was etched with concern. She pulled herself from the dog and wrapped her arms around the werewolf, flashes of Bellatrix still pounding in her ears.
“He was back-” She cried, “Just-just for a moment and now-now he’s gone again,” she didn’t try to stop the fresh wave of tears. She missed Sirius. Even with Remus murmuring in her ear, she wanted Sirius with her too.
“YOU CUNTING OLD FOOL!”
Screaming woke Hermione from her rest in the spare room at Lupin Cottage. Wand in hand, she almost collided with Remus in the hallway as they sprinted towards the screaming. They’d only gone back to sleep a few hours ago. A loud crash shook the house just before Hermione jumped the last few stairs.
“Protago! ” A shield erupted between a calm Albus Dumbledore and crazed Sirius Black. Hermione moved to stand next to Sirius, wand still holding the shield charm.
“Pads,” Remus reached out for Sirius but he snarled and moved away.
Dumbledore sighed, “Sirius, please.”
“NO!” Sirius bellowed, grabbing a lamp and shattering it against the shield directly in front of Dumbledore, “YOU KNEW! WE ALL KNEW! WE LET HIM DOWN!” Sirius fell to his knees, pulling at his hair, “YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WE COULD HAVE STOPPED IT FROM HAPPENING! OR AT LEAST PREPARED HIM! HE WATCHED A KID DIE!”
“That’s enough, Sirius,” Dumbledore said sharply, “I am fully aware of what happened in the maze.”
“Yes you were,” Hermione cut in, eyes wide, “I told you everything. You didn’t even try to stop Cedric from ending up in that maze, from dying. You didn’t care. Not about Cedric. Not about Harry.”
“I care deep-”
“No!” Hermione dropped the shield charm, immobilizing Sirius with a flick of her wand. “You don’t care about Harry at all. You only care about the greater good .” She snarled the last two words and Dumbledore’s impassive face finally broke as shock rippled through his features. “Oh yes, Albus, I know exactly what you care about.”
Hermione had spent the last several days finally realizing what a cracked up, selfish fool Albus Dumbledore was, and she chided herself that it took this long. He had willingly let Harry suffer. Harry was tortured. And Hermione hadn’t even thought to stop Dumbledore from letting it happen.
“You tried to control Grindelwald and you failed. You tried to control Ariana,” Dumbledore flinched, “You are finished controlling Harry. You are done controlling us. I can’t believe I didn’t see through you before. Last time you tried to control Harry he died!” Hermione screeched, tears prickling in her eyes. Remus grabbed her arm and sparks shot through her, forcing his hand away. “You will get in the way of what needs to be done, and I can’t have that. I can’t let that happen again. Harry will know everything he needs to know. About the prophecy, about Voldemort, about Horcruxes, about you!
“You are not protecting him. You didn’t protect him and he died. Because of you, Dumbledore. I will not let him die this time. I won’t let you make ridiculous choices that kill him. You will not get another say in the matter.” Hermione flicked her wand and the floo burst into life. “Get out. I don’t want to hear another fucking word from you.” Dumbledore stared at her, mouth slightly open. “Did you not hear me, Dumbledore? I said GET OUT!” She screamed and the glass in the room shattered, thousands of tiny pieces flying through the air and stopping right before they penetrated Dumbledore’s skin. The old wizard hadn’t moved a muscle, just looked alarmingly at the glass around him before taking a step towards the fireplace.
“Remus-Sirius-”
“No, Albus,” Remus said sadly from the ground, next to Sirius. “Go.” Albus regarded them all sadly before stepping into the flames and disappearing. The glass in the room pattered to the floor and Hermione threw herself at Sirius, wrapping her arms around him.
“Sirius,” She cried, burying her face in his neck. He responded by embracing her. His dreaded, dirty hair tickled her cheek but she clung tighter to him. “Don’t go away again.”
“I’m sorry,” He whimpered, squeezing Hermione painfully. She would have bruises across her ribs tomorrow, but all she could do was hold him tighter. “I’m so sorry,” She could feel his shoulders begin to shake and tears dripping onto her shirt.
“Padfoot?” Remus whispered, still sitting beside them, “I think it’s time you talk, mate. I think it’s time all of us talk.” So, even though Remus had heard it and Hermione had been there, Sirius told them both of Harry’s journey through the graveyard and the conversation that concluded the evening in the hospital wing.
“Hermione,” He looked desperately at her, “I am so sorry I told him-”
“No,” Hermione held up her hand, “You were right. You were right all along. I should never have let Dumblefore take the reins. Again.”
“You said…” Sirius’ eyes widened, “You said Harry dies-”
Hermione cut him off before the panic could set in, “No. My Harry died. Not this Harry. I will never let that happen.” She said with so much conviction that both men had nothing more to say.
Finally, Remus said, “Come on Pads. Let’s get you a shower and then bed. We can go back to Grimmauld Place tomorrow.” They all stood up.
“Do we have to?”
“Yes,” Hermione answered, “You need to formally make it Headquarters. I will cast a new Fidleus charm tomorrow with you as Secret Keeper, Remus.”
“Me?” Remus asked, incredulous.
“Yes. It will not be Albus Dumbledore. Let’s talk about this all tomorrow,” Hermione reached out and grabbed Sirius’ hand. “Rest. We will make a plan soon.” She pushed herself up on her toes and kissed his dirty cheek. “Welcome back, Sirius. I missed you.”