Response
How truly bothersome.
His brain still felt super fuzzy and weird. He was given (forced) some anesthesia from Mori, and he had just finally been able to wake back up. Mori had continuously insisted on patching dazai’s wound on his leg up, and now, after what felt like eternity, it was finally over. He doesn’t even want to know what Mori did to him while he was asleep at this point. If Dazai were to find out, he’d probably want to just kill himself right then and there.
Yet now, there Dazai was, walking back to his room after having to deal with Mori and his usual, slimy behavior. Oh, how much Dazai despises Mori and those filthy dresses he makes him wear.
Why is Mori even the way he is? What made him into such disgusting and revolting “doctor” he is now? I wonder if his parents would have cared if they were to find out their son has become such a horrible and nasty mafia boss. He shouldn’t even be able to be considered a doctor at this point.
Whatever. That doesn’t matter right now. What matters most right now is reading the letter Blaise sent and sending one back in reply.
Dazai had too many things going through his head right now. ‘What does the letter say? Did the Wizarding community find out about Dumbledore’s untimely demise? Did Lockhart ruin everything now that he labeled me a “hero”? What if Mori finds out something I don’t want him to? What if I’m not allowed to go back to Hogwarts? What if they find out I killed Dumbledore? Would I be expelled? Most likely…’
Dazai had finally made it back to his room. The moment he stepped in and closed the door, he almost immediately tore the dress off and changed. After getting into actually comfortable clothing, he made sure to lock the door, right before grabbing the letter in which he had shoved under his pillow earlier.
He opened the letter and read the following:
“Dazai,
Are you ok? Have you been doing alright? I hope you have. You better be eating and sleeping well. I hope your summer has been ok. Professor Dumbledore was found dead the other day. Apparently his house burned down or something. People are going crazy over his death. There’s a whole controversy going on. They’re arguing all over the place. Oh, by the way, my parents asked about the type of person you are, but don’t worry, I didn’t tell them anything you wouldn’t want me to. Make sure to try and write me back soon, alright?
Your friend,
Blaise Zabini”
Dazai felt mixed emotions reading the letter. Except, he couldn’t exactly tell which specific ones he was feeling. He had already known about Dumbledore’s death, after all, he had been the one to put him to death. But, it was rather nice that Blaise thought to tell him either way. Dazai was a bit irritated with how many questions Blaise had asked about his health, yet, he couldn’t help but appreciate his concern nonetheless.
He was already thinking about how to respond to the letter, when he suddenly heard a small knock on his bedroom door.
“Dazai! Rintaro says you have to play dress up with me!” It was Elise. Why was she up here telling him? Usually it was a grunt to tell him Mori’s commands… “Hurry up!” She yelled out.
You could tell she was pouting just from the sound of her voice. He could hear her turn and begin to walk away. Why did he have to play dress up now, when he just got back from Mori’s office? Especially after he had just gotten out of that uncomfortable dress.
Elise had always been super impatient. It’s one of the many reasons Dazai didn’t like her. Dazai reluctantly put away Blaise’s letter by hiding it in the pull out drawer of his desk. He then, after a while, finally left his room to see Elise standing at the door of the room next to his. Dazai had never actually been in that room, as he wasn’t allowed to.
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It was basically actual living hell. He never wants to do that ever again. He’s rather die than have to deal with that again. Elise is so annoying. Dazai hopes she dies, even though she technically can’t. There’s just that small part of him who, despite knowing it most likely impossible, still wants her to die.
Elise had him wearing many uncomfortable dresses and such. She even made him wear girly shoes because they suited a red dress she had forced him to wear. Mori was being disgusting and slimy the entire time, fawning over Dazai in every single dress he wore. Mori was supposed to be doing his paperwork back in his office, but he ended up going into the room to get distracted with Dazai and the dresses he was wearing.
But finally, Dazai was back in his room. The dress up had taken about an hour or two, meaning it’d been about 3-4 hours since he’s received the letter. Knowing Blaise, he might get anxious about Dazai not responding soon. But now, Dazai could finally write back. He hadn’t remembered what he initially planned to write down, as he was interrupted by Elise, so he had to think all over again.
Except, Dazai couldn’t think of any words to say, which was quite unusual of him. Whatever, he’ll just have to take longer to respond. Blaise had wrote asking about his health, about the death of Dumbledore, and his parents. Now that he thought about it, Blaise never really said anything about his parents. Blaise never really even said anything about himself. All he ever said was how he would stay with Dazai no matter what, and how concerned he was for Dazai. It was never really just about himself.
“Blaise is just like that I guess…” Dazai had muttered to himself. Dazai didn’t usually care about others and if they never get to talk, but now, here he was, feeling a bit bad for Blaise. Blaise had always been the one listening, after all.
Dazai’s mind wandered off to many different topics, going from place to place. He almost forgot that he was supposed to be responding to the letter. He thought on and on, before he finally snapped out of his thoughts, and remembered about the letter. He glanced at the clock in his room. It had been an hour. An hour wasted on his thoughts alone. He hadn’t even written anything down. He hadn’t even grabbed a paper and pen. He just sat at his desk with nothing on it, thinking about basically everything.
He should probably really start writing now. Therefore, he grabbed a paper from his desk’s pull out drawer. He grabbed one of Mori’s pens that he had snatched from his desk a while back.
There Dazai sat, at his desk, with an empty paper and pen in front of him. He really didn’t know how to respond. The only letters he ever wrote were to Mori, and he had always just never cared enough to be precise about grammar and such. Plus, he only ever wrote updates to Mori, and would add a simple insult or two. But he couldn’t just insult Blaise like that.
He pondered on and on, deciding that responding to the questions Blaise had asked him would be best. He grabbed the pen, and finally began writing. First, Blaise had asked if he was ok and if he was doing alright. Therefore, he should respond to those questions first. He should also asked about Blaise, so he doesn’t sound super annoying and egoistic. He should also tell him not to worry about his sleep schedule and diet and that he’s been doing just fine. They were both absolute garbage, as he had barely slept and ate, but he wasn’t going to say that. He should also probably thank him for telling him about Professor Dumbledore.
After writing for a couple of minutes, he decided that the letter was finally good enough to send back to Blaise. He made sure not to accidentally write about any of his injuries. If he did, Blaise would get super worried, which wouldn’t be good. If he found out, he would probably bug Dazai over and over about it.
Dazai grabbed the paper, put it in a nearby envelope, addressed it to Blaise, then handed it to Featherbrain to send it over. Featherbrain chirped out loudly out of excitement to finally be able to fly again after a while, which annoyed Dazai. He opened his window on the back wall, so no one on the property would see him toss out an owl through the front one. The moment he opened the window, Featherbrain immediately flew out of sight. To be quite honest, Dazai sort of felt glad that he had at least an hour minimum without having to deal with that annoying bird.
He quickly closed the window to make sure no bugs snuck in and bothered him. He actually hoped Featherbrain would behave and not mess with Blaise. He mostly worried about the possibility of disaster, mainly because he used to always ask Featherbrain to make sure to mess with Mori and make him mad on purpose. Thinking about Featherbrain actually made him start wondering about Egg. He genuinely didn’t know where Egg went. Whatever. The dragon would be fine. It always is.
Today was a long and exhausting day. It was full of uncomfortable dresses and annoying people. Specifically Mori and Elise. He hated those two. Anyways, it was already about the afternoon and Dazai had wasted his entire morning being forced to wear filthy dresses.
At this point, Dazai just wanted to die. He usually just wanted a reason to live, but right now, he just wanted a break. Mori is so annoying and so is that brat, Elise. Why was he the unfortunate one to have to meet them? Why did he have to suffer because of them? Why did they force him into dresses?
Dazai found himself questioning stuff such as this. The only difference being that he had a massive headache from all the thinking. He wondered when Featherbrain would get back. Not like he cared, of course. The Osamu Dazai didn’t care about anything. He couldn’t. He wasn’t supposed to. He wasn’t allowed to.
It was obvious Hogwarts had changed Dazai significantly. For better or for worse. He couldn’t tell. One on hand, because of Mori and the Port Mafia, he can’t be weak. He can’t get attached. But on the other hand, he was attached. He couldn’t even deny it at this point. It’s almost as if he didn’t want to deny it.
Dazai felt conflicted. If he had to choose one, he would most likely pick the gang. After all, Mori is just a slimy, dirty doctor who happened to lay eyes on Dazai. Plus, the gang were like family to him at this point. He didn’t know how. He didn’t even know how he got so attached in the first place. He didn’t know whether to be mad at himself or not anymore. Dazai knows he has to stay loyal to the Port Mafia, but even that simple ‘if’ question made some part of him feel even something remotely similar to happiness as he thought about the situation and how it would have most likely played out.
Dazai genuinely wanted to go back to Hogwarts already. Which is surprising, as he usually hates the school and the magical community. He just wanted his friends. They helped him forget about stuff at times. They gave him a break from all his work and missions in the Port Mafia. It was only barely into the summer, and he already missed them. Maybe that’s just how humans are. He didn’t know. He wasn’t used to this, after all.
Dazai hated being confused just as much as he hated not knowing something. Yet here he was, being completely conflicted with what to do and which side to choose, and not doing anything to find out the right answer. He just let himself stay confused. After all, if he tried to find out, Mori would most figure out the truth. It didn’t help that he already had even just the smallest sense of knowledge on the fact that Dazai is most certainly attached. Mori pretended to take Dazai’s word for it, but Dazai knew all too well that Mori didn’t believe him.
Dazai hated knowing how Mori’s mind works. Yet he also hated not knowing. Mori was so annoying. He was probably making Dazai feel conflicted on purpose, for some sort of entertainment and amusement or something. Mori had to be messed up in the head. Dazai was sure of it. Although, he definitely didn’t think Mori was as mentally ill as his father. That old man was straight up insane. He was irrational, violent, arrogant, and every other horrible character trait known to mankind. At least he’s dead now.
That’s probably the only thing Dazai likes about Mori. The fact that he killed the old hag. That was it. Everything else he absolutely despised about the man. Now that father was dead, couldn’t Mori be nice for once and drop dead as well? Then he wouldn’t have to deal with neither Mori nor Elise. Like killing two birds with one stone. That would be nice. But then again, life wasn’t exactly kind to Dazai. Therefore, he know that was impossible.
Dazai’s learned to expect something bad in every, even if it was a small, happy moment. That’s just how cruel life was to him. He didn’t understand why, but questioning life itself was a waste of time. After all, he’s constantly busy.
It was already about 2 by the time Dazai snapped out of his racing thoughts. Two whole hours wasted solely on thinking. Time flew by fast for once.
A loud ‘bang!’ Hit the window. Featherbrain was back. Plus, she looked pleased with being able to fly around for two whole hours straight. She probably wasted time and just flew around England, Yokohama, or wherever the hell she went. Whatever. Dazai got up from his bed, where he had sat down earlier, and opened the window once again. She flew right in the moment the window was opened, and bumped into Dazai’s bookshelf, knocking down most of his books. He didn’t really care about the books, he never really read them anyways. But, he was mad at the ruckus she caused…and the fact that he would have to clean it up.
He wanted to scold her like she was a little kid, but thought twice when he realized it wouldn’t do him any good. She happily chirped as she flew onto Dazai’s desk and just rested on the lamp. Dazai let out a loud, frustrated sigh at Featherbrain’s chirping. She was so annoying. He couldn’t even understand how Ron could possibly want such an annoying owl.
There it was. He thought about one of his gang members. That right there was proof that he was too attached to them. Yet, he didn’t know whether to be disappointed or okay with it. Whatever, he didn’t want to have to think right now. He was already exhausted and tired from today, despite it still only being around 2:30. He just wanted to take a nice, long sleep right now. But he knew that was impossible for someone like him. To get a huge amount of sleep without disruptions. But of course, life would never be so kind.
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A few weeks, about 4, went by, and Dazai remained doing the usual. Missions, wearing dresses, bugging Mori, etc.
He had just woken up when he heard a knock on his door, before a grunt opened the door to his room. The grunt didn’t step in, only simply stood there at the doorway before speaking.
“The boss needs you at his office right now.” The grunt had said, before closing the door and walking away.
“Great…what now.?” Dazai muttered a quiet groan to himself. He was quite annoyed with how frequently he was called to Mori’s office. He bet the other executives didn’t get called there nearly as much as he did. Stupid Mori and his favoritism.
Reluctantly, Dazai had made his way to Mori’s office. Again, he didn’t bother knocking, and just pushed the doors open rather harshly. Mori had to have been used to it by now any ways.
“Ah, Osamu dear~! Finally, you’ve arrived. It took you quite a while, no~?” Mori spoke up. Oh how much Dazai absolutely despised his annoying voice.
“Oh please. You should be happy I even came in the first place.” Dazai bit back. Mori never really actually minded. Dazai was almost sure it amused Mori, which was quite disgusting when he thinks about it too much. But he’s learned not to.
Mori chuckled before feigning hurt. “My~! How cruel you are darling~!” His voice made Dazai’s ears hurt. “Anyways, I got two letters from hogwarts addressed under your name~” he smiled. That same exact specific smile that Dazai always despised.
“What do they say?” He asked. He just wanted to get straight to the point. He was too tired right now to care about anything else.
“My, they asked if you had permission to go to the Hogsmeade Village. I was quite surprised they’re still even allowing students to go there after everything that’s occurred~! Don’t you agree, darling~?” Mori asked in his same, annoying voice what Dazai couldn’t stand.