chapter 1
Hello before you read there is mention of Black brother angst and there is mention of sick no one throws up but there is mention of someone feeling like they could. This will be ongoing and I will be updating the tags if something does happen of course.
"James over here"
James was pretty sure he heard his name be called over 30 times. He didn't mind it but he does wish he could change his name right now. maybe to Tom no one will call me James then. The other thing what bothered James was the flashing lights yes he was use to all the cameras in his face but this was a bit dramatic. James was next in line then it was his "time to shine" that's what everyone says to him well he says everyone but he just means Sirius. James watched the women get off the red carpet now it was his time to walk the carpet.
Now James was worried. What if he looked bad. What if his black suit from Tom Ford was too overdressed for the carpet. Or what if he was underdressed because James has seen lots of people dress up for the red carpet in very fancy dresses and suit with top designer. Next of James worries was what if he cant pose. What if he smiles but then in the photo it looks too fake and then everyone talks about it all over twitter saying how it was clear he did not want to be there. James was now telling himself to calm down. Nothing can go wrong. I mean all James is doing is walking a red carpet.
James breathed in and started to walk the flashing lights what nearly blinded James but he cant really go blind just yet from all the flashes .He came over to a interviewer who had her microphone ready for James to talk into what was a relief. He smiled at her before she turned to the camera and started telling them that she was with the James potter that is how she worded it those exact words.
"So James how are you feeling tonight to be at the 2024 red carpet event with all theses big stars including yourself" she asked
Uh how did James feel. He didn't really think of that one to be honest.
"Would not say I am a big star but it feels great to be here feels not real almost that I am here walking on a red carpet" James laughed
what is wrong with you who says that. Should of practiced more on my talking you iodic fool.
The interviewer laughs what makes James blush a bit on his cheeks then she opens her mouth " Humble very humble just how we like it James now please tell us James what are you wearing tonight?" She asks putting the microphone right into his face.
"Just Tom Ford suit you can never go wrong with Tom Ford suit" He smirks talking into the microphone.
Great now you sound full of yourself good one James.
" Ahhhh Tom Ford you look dashing I must say myself' She smiles James replies with a thank you before he is cut off with another question.
" Now James main question everyone is asking are you planning on taking any girls home tonight" She asks grinning evilly.
" Are you sure that is the main question everyone wants to know" He smiles looking down at the interviewers name tag what read sam. " Sam I do think you could of asked me a better question then that"
James felt embarrassed. Was that the really the main question everybody wanted to know. Who he bloody was talking home with him. Is that how people really saw him as the star who took girls home. The person he will be taking home is himself and no one else.
"That was not a no" She smiled my god she really wanted to get this false information out of James.
"Wasn't a yes either Sam I do apologise but I must go inside now" James excused himself without hearing Sams response and walked off far away from her.
James walked towards the doors but only with one thing on his mind. That question that interviewer asked him "main question everyone wants to know if you are taking any girls home tonight". I mean really is that how people actually James as the big actor who goes to red carpets and takes girls home and James would rather not know what people think he does with the girls. James could not get that off his mind. Every step he took towards the door of the event all he could think about is how people saw him as. No people did not see him a funny guy or a good actor but people just saw him as now that he has become a bigger star he chooses girls to take home.
James walked past all the cameras and the photographer shouting his name begging for his attention. James wasn't going to give it to them normally he would but he was annoyed very annoyed. He just could not wrap his head around the fact how he is seen by others. What if those photographers ask questions like that. What f they ask the same question. James felt sick he was positive he could throw up on the red carpet right this second. I mean that would make a great story. James could already see it in magazines. A photo of James hunched over with his lunch being all over the carpet and the big headline in big bold writing saying.
"ALWAYS CURIOUS WHAT JAMES POTTER HAD FOR LUNCH WELL ITS ON THE RED CARPET"
James laughed to himself thinking of more headlines people would use until he got distracted by the sight of his best friend. Now when James says best friend he means it. Sirius Black James potters favourite person ever since he was 11. Ever since Sirius ran to him telling James that Sirius could not live in that house any longer and that Sirius was scared. James could never forget the day Sirius's eyes were red with tears running down her face begging James for her not to leave his house and for her to leave. But of course James did not say no to her he could never say no to Sirius and he is pretty sure he never has.
James looked behind him and there was Sirius she looked stunning. She always did she could wear a trash bag and she could still look good. From far away it looked as Sirius was wearing a black lacey dress what showed her black bra but who cares Sirius of course could not care less. The dress came up to her knees and she wore her favourite black heels what never failed to finish the look. She came closer and you could smell her familiar perfume what she always wore to events like these. She has her hair natural she never touched her hair or done anything with it because she has always been told that her hairs perfect and never muck it up and for once she has always listened to that.
" Is that Mr James Potter" She teased pointing at James.
" Is that the miss Sirius Black' James teased back.
" Of course it is Mr Potter" Sirius fake gasped acting if she was offended that I forgot who she was and of course I never could forget Sirius.
"So Siri inside we go I know you fancy a nice white whine" I asked i was trying to be as convincing as I could. I needed to drink that comment away and who else could I drink with but Sirius. I tried to make it as convincing as possible by elbowing her and raising my eyebrows but I realised it was not doing the job by Sirius looking at me like she felt bad for me or she just wanted to hug me and next thing I know it she was hugging me. You could never beat a Sirius Black hug.
"Siri" I whispered to her but she shut me off with her own talking.
"I do not know what is wrong but yes we can talk over it with a nice wine but you need a hug James" She whispered back to be with her arms around me and it felt so nice to have a hug. I mean James did not mean for the comment to get to him as it has but it really did bother him the fact how people saw him as this big actor who takes girls home. The thought of it all just makes James want to smash every camera here and run to bed.
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Sirius and James were not sat down at the bar on wooden stools what were not he comfiest making James arse hurt a bit but he will be fine. He is now just chugging down a beer and he can see Sirius not even touching her white wine she is just sat there zoomed out not even looking at James but just eyes at her drink and it looks she is not even in the room with him. James put his empty glass on the bar and the noise was clearly loud enough to make Sirius look back at him. Now he was waiting for her. James would sit in silence forever to wait for what Sirius has to say. He has done it before.
"James I cant - i really cant" Sirius cried.
It was a day after school and James noticed a big bruise on her Sirius arm at school and he did not want to mention it Infront of everyone because James is not that kind of person to do that and second of Sirius is James best friend why would he do that to her for. But as soon Sirius came through James bedroom door James sat on his bed while Sirius kept going on about what happened in drama class until James shouted out.
"your bruise Sirius who gave it to you" James asked. Sirius eyes went straight down to the floor and did not look at James she refused. Sometimes James wished she never just shouted it out. Sometimes James wishes he said it in a different tone or in a different way. I mean he could of worded it better. But James was just so furious who would ever hurt Sirius. Or the main big question why would you want to. For however long James knew Sirius he has always seen Sirius as lovely and caring and there was no evil soul in Sirius body so there was no need to harm her.
James still sat there waiting for Sirius response but she still stood up still not even looking at James. James could still see the big bruise on her arm. It was so big and purple he hated the way it looked. He wish he could just click his fingers and it would go away but it was not easy like that. For James luck his Mum as a doctor and James has seen lots of of times where he has had a bad bruise and his mum helps him so James had to follow in his mums footsteps at this point of time he could not bear to look at it.
James got off the bed and walked over to Sirius who still was looking down like she was ashamed or as if she did not deserve to be in James room. James gently put his hands on her arms and guided her to his bathroom where he made Sirius sit on the toilet seat lid. James was now in doctor mode like his mum. He realised he needed Ice. Yes ice James sprinted down those steps even missing a few and running to get ice. The same ice his Dad uses to make nice berry smoothies but his dads smoothies can wait a moment.
Coming back up stairs into the bathroom was now Sirius standing Infront of the mirror with her jumper off and her in her white vest but you can visibly see bruises everywhere with them all over her collarbone her chest both arms with small and big ones. James wanted to cry for her. Who in there right minds would want to hurt her. Was the only thought James could think. He walked closer to Sirius and dropping the ice on the counter and hugging her he felt her tears he felt her heart shaking in fear he heard her cries as James held her in the bathroom.
That was the day James found out how quiet Sirius can really be.
Sirius now looking at James but no teary eyes or sadness just a smile but James could not tell if it was fake or if she was smiling. Sirius is just that good at acting he guesses. "So James you got us drinks now spill what has you hot and bothered" She winks then taking a sip of wine. She was ready to listen legs crossed white wine in her hand Sirius was more then ready to hear me talk about this stupid comment what bothered me so much.
I was nervous of course not because I was scared of what Sirius reaction could be it was more the fact If I said it out loud it sounds stupid. I mean really James your an actor for crying out loud you get hate comments talking about how apparently you did not deserve that role and that did not effect you because when you and Sirius and Remus read that comment that made us 3 nearly piss ourselves. So why am I so bothered about what a silly question everyone is so dying to know.
"So I was being interviewed and the lady said that apparently the main question everyone has been dying to know is who I ill be takin home with me tonight" I explained I was pretty sure I explained it to quick as the words felt like they ran out my mouth and the felt toxic to say. It did not fell right to say and Sirius clearly agreed well I could not really tell as Sirius spat her wine out all over the bar.
"Your kidding that was the main thing people wanted to know" She yelled. Sirius was clearly shocked like me and she started to wipe the wine what was over her chin with her hand and looked at the man behind the bar with a face what said sorry for all over the bar counter.
"Yup I mean Sirius how can people see me like that when was the last person I brought home a girl' I growled I was getting angry and it was not the best to be angry at this time as their was other actors in the bar with us and I did not really want them to overhear this conversation but I do think it was a bit late as we were being loud. But I mean how could we not.
Sirius sat there for a good forty seconds looking like she was thinking what to say next. "I really cannot think of the last time you brought anyone home to" Sirius stopped her sentence and I knew what she meant. She did not need to finish that sentence. She gave me a smirk that was enough.
"I mean do really people see me like that" I asked looking at Sirius.
"James come on no one sees you like that" She answered quickly
" Well how comes people were dying to know it" I yelled. I looked around the bar and some people were now looking at us. Maybe I should keep my voice down a bit.
" People just want drama James that is all people want and I think its the fact that now your being in more movies people will see you as the big actor who thinks he has it all and wants girls and sex" She replied.
Sirius was right. James could not think of any other way.
" Now Siri are you going to tell me what has been on your mind since we stepped in the bar" I asked looking at Sirius. Sirius was very easy to read he was pretty sure he knew her more then he knew himself. He could tell when Sirius was excited about something she has this massive grin on her face what shows her dimples. James could tell when Sirius was worried about something she zones out and plays with her jewellery and that is what Sirius was doing right now. Sirius was worried. James did think anyone could tell that she was.
James expected a reply from Sirius but she just replied with a " I do not know what you are talking about' and James did not believe that for one moment and just hoped that he could get a proper answer out later. One thing James did not like is when he knows his friends are upset or in a mood and James could not fix it. James is very much aware that he is not their therapist but he just hates not even hates maybe despises. Seeing his friends down.
James let Sirius get away with her " I do not know what your talking about" excuse and they say there talking. James listened to Sirius talk about how her and Remus and how they went food shopping and how they had to hide from paparazzi after because they started to taking photos of them walking out the shops and lets just say Remus is not all big on the whole paparazzi. I mean he knew he was to expect it with his best friend and girlfriend being actors but he did not like getting his photos done. James and Sirius laughed when Sirius finished telling her story and their giggles got shut up by a women coming into the bar.
"The event is happening please may you take your seats in room 401" She announced to everyone with everyone agreeing.
James looked at Sirius with a smile. The event is finally happening. The day him and Sirius have been waiting for. Well the day they have been so stressed about with looking too overdressed or underdressed or being too late or being too early. But they were here now nothing can ruin their joy. They both leave the bar following everyone into the room they all got told to go to and before they went in they had to drop their phone into a bucket so no phones are used during this event. Walking into the room shock James it was so big. Chairs everywhere with a big stage what could almost fit 200 people. Well that was James guess anyway.
James and Sirius looked for their seat and they were seat F6 and F7 and thank the lord they were sat with each other because James could not sit next to someone who was not Sirius as it was James's first time at a big event like this. As James and Sirius finally sat down the lights all turned off and the stage light was on and mostly everyone was already seated but a few more coming in.
The event was ready to start.
With lots of claps and lost of laughing and James with his best actor award sitting in his lap it was time for the last award. To be honest James was so happy to be here. He was happy that his acting career done well because now he was sitting in a room with all these big names and an best actor award in his lap. If he told sixteen year old James that he would become an actor he would of laughed in his face. Because sixteen year old James got told by kids at school that he was never going to be an actor he was too bad or he got told that he cant act and that did make James upset and nearly did give up acting because of what everyone said about him. James could not be happier that sixteen year old him did not give up or listen to what those horrid kids said about him.
James thoughts were now shut up by the presenter reading the next award and James could not wait to listen to the next one. The guy pulled out a card and started to read it."Best actor to in a supporting role goes to" The room go quiet and so does James breathing for a moment. He could not wait to see who would win this award. James gets so happy to see all these awards and get excited for the actor or actress.
He felt 11 years old again sitting Infront of the telly eating popcorn with his mum and dad watching the actors and actress claim their awards and get all giddy when the actor gets their award and claps his hand like he was sitting there in the audience while he hears his dad in the back
"Oh she was brilliant in that movie"
with his mum replying something like " How would you know you fell asleep in the first half an hour.
But James would ignore his parents joking around because eleven year old James knew that he one day was going to sit in that audience clapping and congratulating each and other actor who would walk away with an award. James knew his future from the age of eleven. He knew that one day he will be collecting his award.
It felt like the presenter was taking his sweet time saying who it was. Maybe it was the wrong person or maybe they could not say the persons name. James felt Sirius squeeze his hand tighter and tighter. Even Sirius was curious to know who won.
Then he said it.
No fucking way.
"Regulus Black"
Loud claps were heard all around the room. I looked around the room to see Regulus get up from his seat to walk to the steps to the stage and oh my he really did look like Sirius. I look over at Sirius and she was not even in her seat I get up from my seat to see Sirius running up the aisle to the exit. I felt my legs run after her and as soon I got to the doors of the exit I realised someone's eyes were on me. No other but Regulus Black. He was not looking at the people who clapped for him or even at the presenter who is any second now going to give Regulus his award. Nope.
Regulus eyes were on me and looking away almost like a "don't leave" But James did not care for Regulus. James never even met the man. He had to go after his best friend.
James ran down the halls too see sight of Sirius. He tried to look for black curly hair. But no black curly hair was seen. James ran down the halls 5 times just in case he missed her ad James knew he had to hurry and find her quick as the award show will be finishing soon and all actors and actress will be flooding the halls soon. So James had to find Sirius fast.
James done more run down the hall with his eyes peeled for Sirius and he found her. Sirius stood on the balcony her hands on the railings for support and cries were heard. James walked closer and closer to Sirius and he could see her start to shake that is when he started to run towards his best friend. It was like that day all over again.
He got closer to Sirius and just hugged her. Finally Holding Sirius felt like a relief after finally finding her. He held her tight and refused to let her go. He could hear her cries and her mutters to herself. He could not get what she was saying as she was saying them so fast and quiet but they did not sound like the nicest things you could be saying.
"Siri its okay" James reassured her holding her in his arms.
"Its not it isn't okay James" She yelled letting herself out of James arms she put her hands in her black hair and started to pace on the balcony while saying the same words. " Its not okay' every pace she done she got louder and louder and James has never seen Sirius seen like this. She was stessed.Worried.Amgry even she was not okay.
As Sirius was pacing back and fourth with her hands still in her hair and repeating those same words over and over again. James had enough he got in the way of Sirius paces and blocked her way to get to the end. James took his hands to Sirius hands where they were in her hair and took them out gently and held them.
"Sirius please breathe in and out" He explained gently to her and Sirius finally made eye contact with James and she looked the same way she did that night.
Sirius followed James instructions with her breathing in and out and doing it over and over again and James even done it at the same time as her so she knows. With Sirius a little calmer now James took her to the little wooden green table on the balcony and guided her to take a seat while James crouched own Infront of her taking Sirius hands in his and holding them while he waited for her to talk.
They sat there for five minutes with no conversation and James still holding onto Sirius hands he was not going to let go of them until he knew Sirius was okay and calm. Yes Sirius stopped pacing and stopped saying words over and over again but her heartbeat was the loudest in the night sky. James could swear he could still hear Sirius heart panic and he did not want Sirius to do the same. He looked up at Sirius and she was not looking at the floor like she normally does when she is upset. This time is different. Her eyes are glued to the night sky full of stars and she did not look down even for a moment.
"He is everywhere" She whispers but loud enough for James to hear and she still was not looking at James. Her eyes were still up in the sky.
"Who" I asked softy.
" Him. Do I sound crazy when I say I feel as if he could be somehow following me. He one minute is right Infront of on stage then next thing I know he is watching down at me" She laughs to herself like she was trying to make herself laugh.
"Siri you do not sound crazy" I replied stroking her hand.
" Then why does it feel like he is following me" She yells. This time she is not looking at the sky she is staring at James with tears down her face. Her cheeks are all wet and her makeup is all ruined. Her face is not angry. Its sad with a hopeless expression all over it and James wishes he could wipe that expression off her face and make Sirius happy.
" oh Siri" James whispers and leans in to hug her.
" I told myself he was not going to be here I literally prayed he was not going to turn up and he did" She cries into James shoulder "Does that make me a bad person?'
Sirius Black a bad person?. Anyone who even meets Sirius for the first time can tell that she is not a bad person.
"No Siri it does not make you a bad person you are not a bad person" He tells her and James says it more then once. He could tell Sirius those same words everyday if he has too just so she knows well dam that Sirius Black is not a bad person.
James convinces Sirius that is it the right time to go home. Sirius hold onto James hand as she gets up and laughs when she stares at James what makes James have a confused look."I bet my makeup is all ruined now" She laughs
"You still look good trust me" James replies.
"I thought we were meant to never lie to each other we made that rule remember" she nudges James elbow with a laugh. James laughs with her and they both get off the balcony and end up in the halls with everyone leaving the room 401. James holds onto Sirius so neither of them loose each other and James walks them to the door to leave the event until next thing James knows is that Sirius is dragging him to the bathroom. James always forgets that Sirius has a stronger arm then he does.
" I will only be five minutes" She tells him then walks into the bathroom. James stood outside the ladies bathroom waiting for Sirius as he watched everyone walking past him and them all saying " Congrats Potter" and " James Potter the big actor" James was pretty sure they were drunk but he did not care. James still could not believe that his dream came true. He is an actor who won an award. The reality has finally hit James.
JAMES WON AN AWARD
I JAMES WON AN AWARD
I JAMES POTTER WON A BEST ACTOR AWARD.
James did not realise he ended up jumping with joy but he finally did realise until he heard a cough behind him. He looked behind him ad there he stood. Regulus Black. Regulus who looked exactly like Sirius. Regulus looked more dressed up then James. Yes he was just wearing a suit just like James but to James eyes it looked more dressed up. From where James was standing you could see Regulus freckles and wow he did have a lot of them they were everywhere.
" Frogs in your trousers or something" He commented.
"sorry?" James asked. James was embarrassed he was pretty sure his cheeks were pink of embarrassment.
"And deaf? wow not a good look on you Potter" He replied bluntly with no humour in his tone. So James could no tell if Regulus was joking or not or if he was just being plain out rude.
Before James could even reply Regulus ended up walking away. James was speechless. Are people in the acting industry really that rude? James bloody hoped not. I mean he did just win an award and of course he is going to be excited after winning an award. James heard the hand dryer loud and clear and out came Sirius with her makeup sorted out and smiling until she realised James expression.
"You okay James?" She asked
"yeh" He replied with a smile turning around to Sirius.
I mean he could not just tell Sirius that he just met her brother.