Fifth Year
Fifth year Albus can't wait to see Scorpius after months apart. The nightmares come and go but the sense of emptiness when he wakes in the night is always the same and he knows only one person who can fill it.
Fifth year Scorpius can't wait to see Albus. While things are better - so much better - with his father now, he is looking forward to their easy companionship, their little jokes, the way the world seems so much more secure when he's with Albus.
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As they settle into their usual compartment, Albus can't take his eyes off Scorpius. He's not sure if it's the height, or the hair that Scorpius hasn't cut falling over his face, but Albus' hands are itching to draw his friend. He isn't sure how to feel about the way Scorpius moves now - he misses the bubbly, clumsy charm and this new version of Scorpius makes his stomach twist a little in ways he understands and still isn't ready to face. Still, when Scorpius settles into the seat next to him with a sigh and holds out a bag of Pepper Imps saying "got to make sure you stay for my sweets!", Albus can't help but grin back.
Scorpius can't take his eyes off Albus. His friend looks so strong and self-assured as he steps into the compartment, and Scorpius is briefly afraid that this new version of Albus will take a good look at "Voldemort's son" and leave. When Albus pats the seat beside him Scorpius relaxes into it and holds out the traditional bag of Pepper Imps, and pretends the fluttering in his stomach is just from eating sweets.
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Scorpius dozes off (the nightmares have been so bad this week, and Albus is so warm and solid beside him) and Albus gives in to his itchy hands and sketches his friend, first as he is now, fragile and beautiful and sleeping, and then what Albus can remember of all their other train rides and favorite moments. He's just gotten to Fourth Year and closed the sketchbook with a sudden snap when Lily breezes in, waking Scorpius. She cheerfully accepts Pepper Imps and quizzes them about a fourth year Slytherin boy who, they are given to understand, has lovely russet brown hair and eyes to match and a smile brighter than Gilderoy Lockhart ("that prat," Albus can't help but hear in Uncle Ron's voice). Later James drops by for a moment with Rose, and they make it to the station with much more company than ever before.
They settle into their comfortable little nook in the fifth year dormitory, quietly refreshing the charms on the stars of their ceiling, flapping out robes and arranging their desks, and Albus feels a pang at how quiet Scorpius is. He's still himself - nervous energy surrounding him as he cheerfully rambles on about OWLs and study schedules and the books he read this summer - but in between he seems very subdued. Scorpius can't help but see the dark shadows under Albus' eyes and suggests they turn in early.
Things continue, with nightmares and comforting and waking up together sometimes. It's better this year, with classmates inviting them to study groups for different subjects. Professor McGonnagall and Professor Longbottom have cracked down on bullying and while they still aren't popular, they don't worry about walking down corridors anymore. There is no paint to remove from Scorpius' trunk and while Albus has heard a few hisses, he hasn't heard the word squib a single time since he got 50 points for Slytherin for excellent work in Potions.
They visit Hogsmeade together, finally, enjoying all they can find in Honeydukes and the book shop and just walking around the town, unafraid of their fellow students and enjoying the sunshine. Rose agrees to go with Scorpius once, along with a Ravenclaw friend of hers that Albus assumes is supposed to be his date, but while the four are amicable enough and they part friends, they don't make plans to do it again.
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As the weather cools, the stress of OWLs seems to be getting to Scorpius and his nightmares happen often, leading to a solid week when neither of them sleep more than an hour or two when they study the Unforgivable Curses in Defence Against the Dark Arts. He wakes up every night screaming Albus' name, and Albus' heart breaks a little more each time.
Albus becomes more and more distant. He's still there, of course he is, he promised, but he disappears in the morning and evening to run more and more often, and more and more often when he comes back Scorpius sees bruises or cuts on his hands. Albus just shrugs, saying he fell, but Scorpius used to be the clumsy one. By the end of October, he's so worried he writes to his dad about it.
When Madame Pomfrey scolds Albus for showing up in the hospital wing so often, at Scorpius' insistance, he suddenly gets much less clumsy. Scorpius notices that his friend never wears shorter sleeves anymore, and has developed a habit of pulling his sleeves down low all the time. But that might just be because it's cold in the Slytherin dungeons. Right?
Harry and Draco both visit their sons for Halloween. Albus rolls his eyes but comes back from the "bonding session" a little lighter. Scorpius is so happy he's almost incandescent with it, seeing Albus happier and spending time with his own father, who takes him for a photography session to update some of the portraits in the Manor. Scorpius loves the photo, the way his father stands so tall and proud beside him, hand on his shoulder. But he can't bear to replace the one of him as a first year, with his mother in it, just yet.
One night when Scorpius' nightmares are especially bad, it takes several minutes for Albus to wake him up, and Scorpius fights and thrashes the whole time. Once he's awake, Albus isn't quite fast enough drawing his sleeves back down and Scorpius sees the tally marks marching up his arms, some almost healed and some fresh and raw. Scorpius places his hands over them, as if he could heal them by will, and sobs brokenly. Albus cuddles him tightly, and cries, and says he's sorry, so so sorry, and promises he'll stop. Scorpius watches him even closer and as Christmas approaches, things seem to get a bit more bearable. But he writes to his father anyway, and Draco sends away for more of those muggle books to study. He only knows this story from the inside.
This year, the boys are thrilled when Harry, Ginny, and Draco suggest that Albus go with Scorpius to the Manor until Christmas. Draco will bring the boys to Weasley Christmas (Draco shudders a little at the thought) and Scorpius will stay until it's time to return to Hogwarts.
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Draco and the boys go all out, putting up a tree, baking cookies, even building gingerbread houses. Scorpius is so happy he could burst but Draco is watching Albus, and watching Albus watch Scorpius, and his worry doesn't lessen. Damn those muggle bookshops and their delays. He finally pushes back his sleeves one day while building up the fire, as casually as he can with all his Slytherin wiles, showing not just the fading splotch of his Dark Mark but the marching lines of old scars he bears, spaced a precise distance apart and measuring exactly the same, just enough to assert control over his life, just enough to feel something and release the things he couldn't name then. Scorpius' eyes fill with tears of recognition and he hears Albus gasp a little. They talk about it a bit - why he started, how he stopped for Astoria - and he tells both boys once again that he's only an owl or a fire away if they need him. He hopes it will be enough.
Albus watches Scorpius bounce around like a child, and even talk about his mother with a smile, but it's when he watches Scorpius and Draco together on the piano bench, playing carols and making one another laugh with their falsettoes that he feels his heart crack again. This is what Scorpius should be like, not the shivering, crying boy calling brokenly in his sleep for the person who dragged him into danger and pain.
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Weasley Christmas is just as loud and chaotic as Draco expected, but Scorpius is over the moon. Even Draco unbends enough to swap his dress shirt for a Weasley jumper, honestly telling Molly that he's never received a gift with so much thought or care in it. She was skeptical, but this wins her motherly heart entirely, if the extravagant bouquet and wine he's brought doesn't.
Scorpius and Albus sit so close in their matched green jumpers they blend together and Draco hears a few good-natured murmurs about them being boyfriends. He raises an eyebrow, but they don't seem to notice and he smiles quietly behind his hand.
Draco finds an unexpected friend in Arthur, who also sits back quietly and cheerfully chats about muggle cleverness. Draco even finds himself letting Arthur pull him to the garden shed to examine a collection of plugs. Draco has never thought about plugs before.
It's not until Draco is hugging his son goodbye that he sees Albus shift and stretch before hurriedly yanking down his sweater, and his heart sinks as he's seen the new lines etching along the boy's side - newer and fresher than he expected. "Take care of each other," he tells them and hugs Albus close too.
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The remainder of the holidays passes in a rush of snowmen and snow angels, hot cocoa and Exploding Snap. Sometimes Scorpius catches Albus watching him with an odd expression on his face, but he's so happy he doesn't think about it much.
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Returning to school is strange - the boys have been more accepted into the Weasley-Granger-Potter clan and Scorpius finds himself being greeted by a number of cousins and their friends, and invited to a singing club and a book club for muggle classics if he has time.
Scorpius has a cold on the first Hogsmeade weekend of the new term, so Albus goes alone to visit the Dean Thomas gallery and studio. Later that night, Dean goes home to Seamus and tells his husband that he's never seen a kid with so much raw talent, so thoroughly and unwittingly besotted with his best mate. "I've never seen Scorpius," Dean admits, "but I can't imagine a human creature as beautiful as Albus drew him. He might as well have drawn little hearts in all the margins." Seamus pointedly looks up at a small sketch of himself on the wall, still blinking hearts and stars all these years later, and Dean laughs. "Exactly."
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The middle of February is bad for both boys, and Scorpius falls asleep in class twice. By the weekend before Albus' birthday, all he wants to do is relax with Albus, and for once Albus seems happy to do so. He's animated and cheerful as they chat about Scorpius' new clubs and lessons, and Scorpius is happy to see color back in his face and animation back in his movements.
Scorpius lays down for a nap, and Albus says he might go for a jog later, so when Scorpius first wakes up alone in their alcove he isn't worried. But Albus doesn't come back for dinner, and Scorpius gets more and more worried as the evening wears on. He finally goes looking on Albus' bed and finds a note and a small frame holding a drawing so beautiful he can hardly breathe. Albus has drawn the portrait of Scorpius and his father, but has sketched in Astoria's beautiful face between them, her hands on both of their shoulders and her eyes full of love. Scorpius places it tenderly on his desk, happy to have both parents looking down at him.
It's when he opens the note that Scorpius' stomach drops. "Dear Scorpius," he reads "I hope you like this. I know you wanted to have them both in your picture. You deserve so much more. Love, Albus." Part of his mind is stuck on the word "love" - do we say love? - but for some reason he can't shake this whole thing makes him nervous, with Albus missing so late. He goes to the common room and calls for his dad in the fire for the first time.
Draco's blood runs cold as he steps through the fire and enfolds his son in his arms, reading the note from Albus. Those muggle books talked about this and he is too late. Too late. He wants to spare his son this but Scorpius knows Albus best, so he ushers his son along with him to go wake Professor McGonnagall.
Scorpius is right, and they find Albus in the last greenhouse, behind a row of freshly repotted mandrakes. Draco tries to shield Scorpius but he sees the blood anyway, sees the sharp knife used for splicing plants stained red, sees the wide open gashes up the veins of Albus' wrists, and he drops to his knees at his nightmare made real. Professor McGonnagall is urgent, pulling Madam Pomfrey from the hospital wing, and by the time Scorpius understands what's happening they have Albus in a bed, being attended, and his father is feeding him chocolate and saying "he'll be alright, Scorpius. We were in time. Thank you for calling me. We were in time."
Hours later, Harry and Ginny are there, and they also thank Scorpius over and over, but he's still tense with terror staring at Albus' pale face on the pillow. Madam Pomfrey finally tucks him in beside Albus, where he can feel his pulse and hear his ragged breathing. Albus is alive, and that is all Scorpius needs for now.
Scorpius is numb as they move Albus back into their alcove the next day. Albus is walking and talking, but Scorpius can't hear what he's saying. He knows there were meetings again, but he's frozen inside.
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It's when they all leave and Scorpius is alone with Albus that he finally breaks, sobbing into his pillow with the ferocity of a terrible storm. It's only a few moments before he feels Albus' familiar hand on his back, hears his hoarse whisper "shh, Scorp. I'm here, I'm alright, you're safe."
Scorpius wraps himself tighter and tighter in on himself until Albus practically has him in his lap, before his hands finally reach for Albus and he finds his voice. "What the FUCK, Albus? You promised. You promised me you'd never leave and we'd always have each other. I don't like my life without you in it, Albus. I thought you were happier, I thought things were getting better!"
As Scorpius winds down, Albus holds him even tighter, and it's the first time in months that he hasn't treated Scorpius like he's made of spun glass as his tears soak into Scorpius' hair. "I'm sorry, Scorpius. Merlin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of it. Sorry I dragged you off that train, sorry I got you mixed up in all of that. Sorry I got you tortured. Sorry that I broke you, when you're the best thing in my life."
Scorpius isn't sure Albus believes his forgiveness, but at least Albus does promise not to leave him, never to do that to him again.
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Spring comes and with their revision schedules and study groups, Albus and Scorpius feel like they barely have time to think. To Albus' surprise and both boys' gratification, they achieve a handful of O's and E's apiece, far from what they could have imagined in that first gut-wrenching year, and it comes as a shock to think that they only have two years left, now that they finally have a place for themselves at school.