Part 2
A month later, Fatin is staring at her phone, scrolling through a seemingly endless list of “perfect anniversary gift ideas,” but nothing clicks. She has always been fucking terrible at gifts. For fucks sake, she gave Nora and Rachel an electric toothbrush for their birthday.
Yes, toothbrush singular.
Why is it so fucking hard to find decent gifts? Why do we even need to give gifts?
She exhales sharply and glances down at her freshly inked arm, the tattoo still bright and raw. It helps her calm down, if only a little.
Okay, no need to freak out. Leah loves you. Leah will love whatever you get her for your three-year anniversary.
Maybe put some thoughts into it though, because that toothbrush thing? A new low for Fatin.
She promised herself to do much better when it comes to gifts, but it’s so fucking hard.
Fatin rubs her temples, annoyed with herself. The pressure is on. She’s spent hours pondering the perfect gift and only managed to circle back to a few self-help articles that claim "gifts don’t matter as much as thoughtfulness." Great. Just what she needed: vague reassurance.
“I need your help,” Fatin says to Dot, who is sprawled out on the couch with a bowl of chips in her lap.
Dot glances at her, a skeptical look on her face. "Can I finish watching this Glee episode first?"
Fatin laughs because Dot was such a dork sometimes.
“Only if I can watch it with you.”
“Deal.”
“Oh god is that the Brittana wedding episode?” Fatin asks. Dot nods in response. “Let me get some tissues then because I always cry at this.”
“God, what happened to the badass Fatin?”
“Fuck off fuck face.”
--
“So what’s up dude?”
“I need to find a gift for Leah,” Fatin says nervously, “our three year anniversary is coming up and I want to find her something special.”
“You mean besides sex?” Dot teases.
“I’m serious Dorothy!”
“Fine fine,” Dot puts her hands up in surrender, “we’ll find something.”
They decide to head to the mall not far from their house for lunch, because, as usual, Fatin’s stomach is demanding attention. She's starving.
Fatin scrolls through her phone, completely lost in thought. There’s a soft smile on her face, the kind of smile she can’t quite shake off, even if she tries.
Dot, raises an eyebrow and leans closer. “What’s got you grinning like that?”
Fatin turns the phone toward Dot, showing her a picture from Leah’s Instagram. It’s a candid shot taken by Nora during Fatin’s birthday party. Leah’s laughing in the picture; eyes sparkling with the kind of joy that makes her whole face light up. Fatin’s got her lips pressed to Leah’s cheek, a soft kiss mid-laughter, both of them wrapped up in some quiet, perfect moment. Fatin's smile widens as she looks at it. “Just... thinking about how much I love her.”
Dot glances at the picture, her smile softening. “So... three years, huh?”
“Yeah, dude.” Fatin takes a sip of her iced coffee, her cheeks flushing slightly as she feels that familiar flutter in her chest. Talking about Leah always does this to her—this warm feeling that reminds her of the way her heart races when Leah walks into the room. “I can’t believe it. I am so lucky.”
Dot chuckles and places a hand over Fatin’s. "You both are," she says, her voice gentle. "We all see how happy you two are together."
Fatin looks down at their hands, the feeling of warmth spreading through her chest. She remembers the first time she talked to Dot about Leah, how uncertain she was, how much doubt she had in herself and the whole situation. The island had been such a complicated time for everyone, and Dot had been the first person Fatin confided in when it came to her feelings for Leah. Dot had warned her, of course—about Leah’s struggles, and about Fatin’s history of.. not settling down. Fatin has to agree that she was right at the time. Dot still encouraged her to go for it, but told Fatin that she only wanted her to be safe, be it for Leah or for herself.
"I’m glad you no longer have doubts about us," Fatin says softly, her voice a little thick with emotion as she thinks back to that conversation.
Dot’s smile widens as she gives Fatin’s hand a reassuring squeeze. "Of course. You two have always had that connection, though. Everyone saw it on the island. We just didn’t know it was a gay ass connection laced with sexual tension." Dot jokes
“Very funny,” Fatin deadpans. “But seriously, I want this anniversary to remind her how much she means to me.”
“I think she already knows, dude. Trust me.” Dot gives Fatin a knowing smile. “But... I guess you could get her some personalized shit; something unique, that reminds her of your story together.”
“Like…” Fatin hesitates, her face scrunching up as she tries to think. Man she really hates this gift shit. “An engraved mug?”
Dot freezes, her gaze turning into a deadpan stare. “Are you serious, Fatin?” she asks slowly, as if she can’t believe her ears. “Do you want Leah to break up with your sorry ass?”
Fatin immediately drops her head into her hands, groaning loudly. “I told you I’m fucking terrible at gifts!” she whines, her voice muffled by her palms. "This is impossible!"
Dot lets out a small laugh, shaking her head. “I mean, I knew that. But damn, a mug? Even I want to break up with you right now.” She smirks, clearly enjoying Fatin’s discomfort.
“Oh fuck off,” Fatin huffs out of frustration, throwing her arms out to the side in defeat. “It’s not like I’m trying to be bad at this. I just don’t know what to do.”
Dot grins and pats her on the back. “Alright, alright, I get it. You’re terrible at gifts. But lucky for you, I’ve got a suggestion that won’t get you dumped.”
Fatin’s eyes flicker with hope. “Oh? What is it?”
“Follow me.”
Fatin raises an eyebrow, following her friend through the mall with a mix of curiosity and dread. Dot seems way too excited, and Fatin’s not sure whether that’s a good thing or a sign that she’s about to get roped into something truly disastrous.
They walk for a few minutes until they reach a small, cozy shop with a simple but intriguing sign above the door: Star Map.
Fatin stares at the sign for a moment, furrowing her brow in confusion. “Star Map? What the fuck that?” she asks, completely lost.
“It’s this new thing I saw online and I remembered seeing this shop. You’ll love it, come on,” Dot drags Fatin inside, not giving her a choice.
--
“Do you want your gift first?” Fatin asks, her voice a little more nervous than she’d like. They both are sitting on the edge of the pool, legs dangling in the cool water, the night air warm around them. They’re both in swimsuits, celebrating their anniversary with a small picnic in the backyard, just the two of them under the stars. The rest of the girls are inside, minding their own business and giving the couple some space.
Leah, already halfway through a chocolate-covered strawberry (yes, like that scene in High School Musical), finishes it with a satisfied hum, then licks her fingers clean. Leah moves closer, her thigh brushing against Fatin and the proximity sends a flutter through Fatin’s chest.
“Sure,” Leah says, giving Fatin one of those smiles that could probably cure any illness in the world, should that be an option.
Fatin picks up the small gift beside her, a little nervous. “I’m not taking full credit for it, Dot helped me,” Fatin says, handing the wrapped box to Leah.
“Oh thank god,” Leah jokes and Fatin slaps her shoulder but laughs. Everyone knows how terrible she is at this shit.
“So,” Fatin says nervously as Leah unpacks the gift, “it’s called a star map. You can customize it to show the night sky on any given day of any given year.”
“Wow,” is all Leah says as she stares at the map and traces her fingers over the quote engraved underneath.
You and me by the waterfall
“The map represents the night sky the first time we kissed and confessed our feelings for each other,” Fatin says and stares at the side of Leah’s beautiful face.
It was one day on the island where Leah and Fatin had taken a swim in the river by their waterfall. Fatin was already head over heels for Leah back then but didn’t have the courage to tell her. They were lying on the dirt after swimming and looking up at the sky when Leah grabbed Fatin’s face softly and kissed her.
“I can’t believe I told you I was going to start thinking about Ben Folds, and then kissed you an hour later,” Leah jokes but Fatin could hear how emotional she was. Fatin wiped a stray tear from Leah’s cheek. At least Leah seems to be enjoying the gift. Fatin feels a huge weight lifting from her shoulders.
“One of your finest moments I guess,” Fatin joked, “but you made what was a literal hell situation turn into one of the best moments of my life,” Fatin stares into Leah’s eyes, trying to convey everything she feels in this exact moment, “we spent so many nights stargazing on that bitch ass island, so I thought that was a good way of celebrating our journey together so far. From our first kiss under the night sky to here. And whenever things get hard, I hope this can bring us right back to that moment. Just you and me by that waterfall, falling in love.”
“I love it,” Leah gives Fatin another teary smile before leaning over and kissing her. “I love you.”
“I love you more,” Fatin says and kisses Leah again, gently stroking her cheek. “Can you believe I have to do Dot’s chores for 2 fucking weeks because she helped me.”
Leah laughs and Fatin cannot help but join in.
“I’ll help you,” Leah jokes, “do you want your gift now?”
“Sure baby.”
“I guess my gift is kind of shit now that I’ve seen yours,” Leah grabs a small envelop next to her and hands it to Fatin, “but I hope this will be okay.”
Fatin furrows her eyebrows and opens the envelope. Inside are two tickets to San Francisco Bay Area.
“What.. I-,” Fatin has difficulty saying what she feels. These are two tickets to go back to their childhood place. She hasn’t been there in nearly two years.
Leah has been back two or three times to see her parents, but Fatin could never bring herself to join her.
“After our discussion regarding your tattoo,” Leah stars and grabs Fatin’s hands, “I thought that maybe, what you needed was a little push from the universe, meaning myself since I am your whole world,” Fatin can’t help but laugh, “to go back home and see your brothers.” Leah traces Fatin’s tattoo of her brothers and smiles.
“Babe,” Fatin blinks to prevent the tears from coming, “I don’t know..”
Fatin feels conflicted. She knows that going back home to see her brothers also means that she’ll have to somehow see her parents. She doesn’t know if she is ready for that yet. Maybe Leah is right, she just needs a little push. She definitely would have never bought the tickets on her own.
“My love,” Leah squeezes Fatin’s hands to get her attention, “I won’t force you to go, but I think this could be a good thing. You don’t even have to interact with your parents. You can just tell them that you are there to see your brothers. I’ll be by your side the whole time and I’ll support you no matter what your decision is.”
Fatin takes a deep breath. Leah is right. She doesn’t want to say anything to her parents. In fact, she has nothing to say to them; but she misses her brother and she wants to see them.
“Okay,” Fatin nods at Leah, whose face lights up, “we can go.”
“Yeah?” Leah grins, “We leave in three days. We are both on breaks so no classes and I already negotiated the time off from work.”
“So you knew I’d say yes eventually?”
“Yeah, cause I know you and I know that this is the best thing for you.”
Fatin leans forward to kiss Leah. “Thank you, I love you.”
“I love you too,” Leah smiles, “how about a swim now?”
“As long as we’re both naked.”
“You know we’re not allowed to after last time,” Leah smirks and Fatin rolls her eyes. “The others would kill us.”
--
Four days later, Fatin finds herself sitting in the driver’s seat of her rental car, her fingers nervously twisting her car keys in her lap. Leah is sitting beside her, watching her with a quiet, comforting presence.
Fatin glances at her, but her eyes quickly return to the street in front of her, the familiarity of the old neighborhood making her stomach twist.
Fuck I am so nervous.
Leah’s gentle hand reaches over, brushing against her arm. "You okay?"
Fatin forces a smile but the nerves are still overwhelming. “I’m just... nervous. Not only about my parents’ reaction, but also about my brothers’.” She exhales deeply, pressing her lips into a tight line.
Leah reaches over and grabs Fatin’s hand, pulling it into her lap to stop the nervous fidgeting. "Honey," she says softly, squeezing Fatin’s hand, "you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. I’m here to support you." She gives Fatin’s hand another reassuring squeeze. "We can come back tomorrow if you want. But just remember, you’re here for your brothers. That’s what matters."
Fatin lets out a long, relieving sigh, the tension in her shoulders easing just a fraction. "Yeah, just my brothers. I don’t want them to think I’ve forgotten about them. It’s just... things with my parents are complicated."
“I know, baby,” Leah says, her voice gentle. “Just focus on your brothers, okay?”
“Okay,” Fatin murmurs, feeling both grateful and comforted by Leah’s unwavering support. “You’re the best.”
Leah scoffs lightly. “Please, tell me something I don’t know.”
Fatin laughs softly. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself for what’s to come. Then, with a last, soft exhale, she opens the car door and steps out. Leah follows her, staying close by her side as they walk up to the front door.
As they approach the familiar porch, Fatin feels something stir inside her—something bittersweet. When she hears the laughter of her younger brothers coming from inside, her throat tightens and a hot sting of tears wells up in her eyes. The sound is so familiar, so comforting, and it makes her both smile and ache.
“Ready?” Leah’s voice is warm beside her, full of understanding.
Fatin hesitates, her thoughts swirling.
Is she ready?
Is she ready to see the two people who fucked up her life? Is she ready to see the two people who thought it was a good idea to send her far away from home on a retreat, just because she tried to bring her father’s betrayal and adultery to light? Is she ready to see the two people who couldn’t give a single shit about the fact that she almost died?
“Yeah, let’s do it,” Fatin finally says, shaking off the darker thoughts. She grabs Leah’s hand for support, needing the familiar comfort of Leah’s presence more than ever. Leah squeezes her hand in return.
Fatin knocks on the door, her heartbeat loud in her ears. She has a key to the house, but something about just walking in like she’s still part of this family feels wrong. So, she waits.
“I got it!” Ahmad, her youngest brother, shouts, his voice echoing through the door.
A moment later, the door swings open and Fatin freezes. Ahmad has gotten so big. He’s eleven now, nearly as tall as she is. She barely recognizes the little boy she used to spend hours with, the one who used to cling to her when she left for school.
“Hi,” she says, her voice soft, unsure.
"Fatin?" Ahmad’s eyes widen, clearly in shock. “Fatin!” he screams, and without warning, he jumps into her arms. Fatin, startled but overwhelmed with affection, releases Leah’s hand to catch him.
“Oh my god, I missed you,” Fatin says, squeezing him tight, tears threatening to spill. She tries to hold it together, but the rush of emotions floods her, and she can’t keep the tears from falling.
“I missed you too!” Ahmad says, his voice filled with pure joy.
Fatin reluctantly sets him down when she hears someone clear their throat behind him. She looks past Ahmad and her heart sinks.
Her parents are standing there, looking at her like she’s some stranger, their expressions unreadable. She spots Kemar behind them—her thirteen-year-old brother, now much taller than her.
They stare at her, and Fatin feels a strange mix of anger and sickness churn in her stomach.
Kemar is the first to move, rushing forward to wrap her in a tight hug. Fatin closes her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to melt into it, to let the familiarity of her brother’s embrace soothe some of the tension. As soon as the hug ends, Fatin allows her tears to fall freely, ignoring her parents completely.
“What are you doing here?” her mother asks, her tone flat, as if Fatin had just knocked on the door of a neighbor she didn’t know.
Fatin wipes her eyes with the back of her hands, fighting the sting in her chest. “I came to see my brothers,” she replies, trying to keep her voice steady. “Nothing more, don’t worry.”
Her father’s voice comes out stern. “You could’ve called first,” he says, his words heavy with disapproval.
Fatin tenses, the old familiar frustration rising inside her. She glances at Leah, who offers her a small, encouraging smile.
“Like you’ve called me recently? Oh wait, we haven’t talked in years,” Fatin shoots back, the words slipping out before she can stop them.
“Still, you could have-,” her father says but Fatin cuts him off.
“Listen, I don’t want any drama,” she says, pinching the bridge of her nose to prevent the headache building behind her eyes from manifesting. “I just want to spend one afternoon with my brothers. Is that too much to ask?”
Ahmad chimes in, “Please, Mom! Please, Dad! I really want to spend time with Fatin and her beautiful girlfriend!” Fatin feels her face flush a little, but she looks at Leah, who gives her a slight, surprised smile. Her parents know she’s dating Leah, they just don’t give a fuck. Fatin spent the rest of her senior year - post island - with Leah and she would sometimes come to Fatin’s house, so Ahmad and Kemar are aware of her existence. Plus, they have talked a bit when Fatin facetimes her brothers.
Kemar joins in, his eyes pleading. “Please?”
Fatin glares at her parents, who seem to actually be debating this. She scoffs. If she has to fucking kidnap her brothers for the afternoon, she fucking will. She’s just trying to do the polite thing here and actually ask her parents.
Her dad sighs heavily, clearly resigning himself to the situation. “Fine. Bring them back in two hours,” is all he says before turning away.
Her mother, however, pauses and looks at Leah for a beat before offering a smile. “She is beautiful. I’m glad you’re still together,” she says, her voice almost... sincere. Fatin’s eyebrows shoot up, her mouth going dry in disbelief. She looks at Leah, who’s just as shocked. “Goodbye, Fatin,” her mother adds before walking back into the house.
What the fuck. That was fucking weird.
“I think I would have preferred if she called you a slur,” Fatin jokes, trying to ease the tension, before turning to her brothers. “Get your jackets, we’re going to get some ice cream!”
Both of her brothers cheer and run back inside, eager to get out the door. Fatin stays by the door for a moment, taking a breath.
“That wasn’t... terrible?” Leah asks tentatively, looking at Fatin with gentle concern.
“I guess,” Fatin replies with a shrug, trying to hide the turmoil in her chest. “But thank you for convincing me to do this.”
Leah smiles and kisses the back of Fatin’s hand. “What are beautiful girlfriends for?”
Fatin laughs softly. “Pretty sure my brothers both have a crush on you.”
Leah grins and kisses Fatin’s cheek. “I guess I have that effect on Jadmanis.”
As Fatin watches her brothers rush back out with excitement, she shakes her head. “Fuck, I don’t remember them having that much energy. Are we sure ice cream is a good idea?”
Leah shrugs, a mischievous glint in her eye. “Eh, if they’re even more energetic when we bring them back, that’s your parents’ problem, right?”
“I love the way you think baby,” Fatin smirks. That would be a good fucking payback to these two assholes she has the misfortune of calling her parents. “We’ll add some extra sprinkles on their ice creams.”
They spend the next two hours catching up with her brothers, laughing and playing. Fatin’s heart feels fuller with each passing minute. Leah had suggested leaving them alone for a while, but both Fatin and her brothers insisted that she stay, and Fatin’s glad she did.
Her brothers are fascinated by her tattoo, with Kemar already making plans to get one when he turns eighteen. Fatin promises with a laugh that she’ll take him to get his first tattoo. She learns all about her brothers’ new interests and marvels at how much they have grown. It also shows her how much she has missed. Time flies, and by the time it’s time to leave, Fatin is fighting back tears as she hugs her brothers goodbye.
“I love you, Fatin,” Ahmad says, his voice thick with emotion as he squeezes her tightly.
“I love you both so much,” Fatin whispers. “Never forget that. No matter where I am, I am always thinking of you.”
When she walks back to the car where Leah is waiting, Fatin feels an unfamiliar sense of peace.
“How do you feel?” Leah asks, taking Fatin’s hand.
“Happy,” Fatin says with a smile, a deep sense of gratitude filling her chest. “Thank you again for this. I never realized how much I needed to see them.”
“My pleasure,” Leah replies, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Fatin’s hand. “You can come see them again before we leave in two days.”
“I will,” Fatin promises, her heart light as they drive away.
They drive to Leah’s parents’ house, and Fatin can’t help but notice the stark contrast between Leah’s family and her own. Leah’s parents have always been a source of warmth and support, making Fatin feel like she truly belongs
And as they leave her hometown two days later, Fatin is filled with a deep sense of gratitude. Gratitude for Leah Rilke.