Stand Tall
Remus is no stranger to funny looks and curious eyes. He has to admit his scars certainly are a sight to behold.
So, now, as he stands on this famous and dauntingly sized platform, grasping his mother's hand with his right and a large trunk in his left, it is no surprise when others gasp and point and stare.
He pretends not to notice when others gape at the sight of a large scabbed gash marring his face, beginning just above his right eye and extending across his nose to the opposite cheek.
The August moon had been a particularly nasty one with the looming fear of starting Hogwarts. It is Remus' understanding that his own emotions, no matter the kind, translate to only one in the wolf's mind. Rage. No matter how hard he tries to suppress them, the feral beast has only one priority: Trying its hardest to rip itself into as many pieces as possible.
With over 6 years of torturous transitions under his belt, he comes to a grand total of almost 136 scars. Not that he's counting of course.
The sound of the train horn blaring snaps him back to his senses as prefects shout "Last call for boarding!"
As his mum gives him one last wet kiss on the cheek and a soft smile, she ushers him towards the train saying her goodbyes. Stepping onto the Hogwarts Express, he takes one final look at Hope Lupin's kind eyes and hurries through the corridor to stake claim to an empty cabin before they're all gone.
Finally reaching an empty cabin he places down his bag, a small briefcase with his initials stamped on the side. He has no expectations of company for this ride, a small upside to having such a blatantly obvious selection of scars. It tends to mean that people stay away, Remus agrees. If he saw himself alone in a cabin, he sure as hell wouldn't want to be in it with him.
Taking out a book to read, Remus makes himself comfortable for the long journey ahead, that is, until he sees the door being slid open and 2 boys poking their heads inside.
"Is it alright if we sit in here? All the others are full." The taller boy asks, seemingly unbothered by the sight of Remus's scowl.
"If that's what you would like, then sure, I don't see why not."
Without hesitation, both boys sit down. The taller brown-haired boy sits next to Remus whilst the shorter blond-haired one sits just opposite.
Offering his hand, the boy next to him introduces himself.
"James Potter. And this here is Peter Pettigrew."
Peter gives him a timid smile, muttering a hello.
Though he doesn't shake James' hand, his mother would think poorly of his impoliteness, so out of obligation, he does introduce himself.
"Remus Lupin," he says, accent thick with a northern twang.
Returning to his book, he leaves the two boys to talk of their summer escapades amongst themselves, perhaps sending the odd sceptical glance every so often.
—
Walking into the great hall is incomparable to any moment in Remus' life. It is truly breathtaking.
Above him is a sea of floating candles casting a warm glow over the vast space. His father previously had told him tales of his time at Hogwarts, yet no words could describe how beautiful the charmed ceiling is in person. The stars shine powerfully, standing out against the night, but Remus can't help but wince as he spots the heavily waxing moon.
Only 4 more nights till his next, he remembers anxiously, biting his lip.
His attention is drawn back to the room when a chorus of loud gasps and murmuring follows the sorting of one boy into Gryffindor. Craning his neck to get a better look, Remus spots the boy, face now deathly pale and grey eyes wide in horror, slowly heading towards his house table.
"A Black in Gryffindor, that cannot be possible." an alarmed boy sitting at a table near him exclaims.
As the ceremony continues, Remus, now extremely curious, watches this 'black' character, attempting to understand the confusion.
The boy looks heavily disappointed, eyes trained on the hands he is wringing in his lap. Well-kept black hair covering his crestfallen appearance. However, Remus also happens to notice the smirk slowly spreading across his face.
Before he can inspect the boy further, the wise-looking professor calls him to the front, sorting hat in hand and a small wooden stool placed below.
Trying his best to calm himself and avoid tripping on the stone steps, Remus makes his way to the chair, turning to face the room. He adjusts his posture to keep his head held high. He, too, feels the pressure of the hundreds of eyes, no doubt staring holes in his scars.
It is hard not to feel like a lamb up for slaughter as he presents himself to the crowd, hat being lowered onto his head. He can feel his stomach slowly churning as the hat deliberates, but fortunately for Remus, it is not long before the hat's prediction is made.
"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat booms as the crowd bursts into a cacophony of cheers and applause.
Quickly ushered off his chair by the professor, Remus walks to the Gryffindor table, where he is met with a series of welcomes and congratulations.
Remus sits across from the black-haired boy who now introduces himself.
"Sirius Black. Who might you be?"
"Remus Lupin"
Their brief introduction is thankfully interrupted by the two boys from Remus' train cabin arriving and striking up a conversation with Sirius, introducing themselves as well.
The three boys attempt to speak to Remus, but unfortunately, Remus isn't particularly reciprocal of their extroverted advances. He gives short responses and shrugged shoulders, eager to be rid of them soon.
It's doubtful that they want to be friends with him, anyway. His thoughts remind him.
—
Once the meal is finished and everyone is dismissed, prefects lead the newly sorted students through the stony, ornate hallways of the castle.
Remus walks alone, keeping a general air of confidence, not to seem too cocky, but rather one that keeps everyone comfortably distanced.
Irritatingly, it seems the three brazen boys haven't quite got the memo as they catch up to walk alongside Remus. James and Peter walking on one side and Sirius on the other.
Surprisingly, they don't attempt conversation, opting to walk in comfortable silence till they reach the Gryffindor common room.
The portrait swings open to allow the gaggle of students through. Stepping into the room, Remus is met with the immediate feeling of comfort and welcome. Large squishy armchairs and sofas home to various groups of students surround hefty wooden coffee tables. Fireplaces crackle: flames dancing, casting shadows all around. The Gryffindor common room was practically the physical embodiment of a warm hug.
Returning from his daze of awe, Remus heads up the small winding stone steps towards his dorm and pushes open the wooden door. His eyes are met with three other pairs. None other than the three insufferable boys from before.
He shuts the door again, taking a moment to gather his thoughts and silently chuckle to himself before walking back into the dorm and opening his trunk to begin unpacking his substantial collection of books.
Remus can feel the other boys' eyes on him as he does this.
"Does he speak? Or is he trying to ignore us?" Sirius whispers to the other boys.
"I don't know. If we're gonna live with this bloke for the next seven years, then he's going to have to speak to us eventually." James says back
Sighing deeply before turning around, Remus looks at the three boys.
"As a matter of fact, I do speak, but I severely doubt it is me you actually want to speak to."
"And who are you to judge who we want to speak to or not? It's not our fault we want to be friends with the guy we're going to live with for the rest of our time at school." Peter shoots back, a scowl set deep in his face.
"Alright then." He says sitting on his bed, back leaning against the wall behind him.
Eventually, the other boys give up on trying to speak to him when he pulls out a book, instead opting for a convoluted and slightly heated argument over their favourite quidditch players and teams.
Remus tries his best to focus on his book but he can't ignore the feeling of guilt that washes over him when he glances at the trio of boys sitting across the room from him. He wonders what could happen if he actually accepted their friendly advances instead of rejecting them so adamantly.
You're dangerous. Dangerous people can't have friends. His brain unwarrantedly snipes at him, scrubbing any possible images of a future friendship from his mind.
Hopes down the drain, Remus returns to his book, disheartened and lonely.