the Macaroni Penguin
“But Sev, what I don’t get, is why didn’t you tell me? How have you managed to keep this a secret?”
Lily was sat with Severus in his bedroom, a small room filled with an eclectic collection of comic books, jars and ancient novels. Curtains hung, blocking the sunlight from crawling in, and vines from plants Lily wouldn’t dare touch claimed the bookcases as their own. Severus was unusual, and yet there was no denying Lily felt something drawing herself to him, like the sun chasing the moon across the sky. He’d always lived there, and for as long as she could remember, so had she. They’d spent long childhood days together, often at the docks, dipping cautious feet into the freezing sea, then heading back to Lily’s for a warm dinner. They mainly spent time at Lily’s, for Severus’ home lacked the one thing Lily treasured so dearly about her own – a happy family.
Severus’ mother had always been a woman encompassed by a shroud of mystery. She had dark black hair that, despite her clear lack of self-care, tended to hang in perfect swoops around her pale jawbones. However, her face was less endearing, with eyeliner clinging onto almost permanently bloodshot eyes, eyebrows plucked into a curve of sheer anger and lips tightened to achieve an aspect of beauty Lily couldn’t understand. Lily’s own mother, despite her perfectionist attitude, was made of soft curves and calm tones, whereas Eileen was a tower of angles and cruelty. She always drunk, always with a glass of whiskey in her right hand and a cigarette in her other. Lily’s mother tended to complain of her insufferable attitude – despite often pretending to be her friend, for Lily’s sake. She would never say, but Lily knew the reason Eileen drank herself into a shell was due to the loss of her previous husband Tobias Snape, Severus’ father. Lily had never met him, but often saw the shadow of a stranger in Severus – his crooked nose, broad shoulders and polite laugh.
“Look Lily I’m sorry! You’re not allowed to tell Muggles, oh, I, non magic folk, about magic!”
“Oh Sev, I just don’t get that! I’m your best friend and I never knew you were a wizard? I didn’t even know it was a thing! If I’m being honest, I’m not certain this entire thing isn’t a prank!”
Lily would never openly admit it, but Severus keeping the secret of magic for the entire duration of their friendship had hurt her deeply. She felt a little uncomfortable as he desperately clawed for reasons.
“Lily please, I think you’re being unreasonable!”
Typical Severus. Cool-headed even in Lily’s most stressful of times.
“But you want me to believe that in just over a week, me, you and hundreds of others are going to go to a school for magic folk? You want me to believe that you, and your mum, are magical?” Lily couldn’t put her rush of thoughts into words, but was trying desperately – why couldn’t Severus see her stress?
“Yes, its true! Did you never think about why, after your ma forced you to have that twenties style bob, that your hair never stopped growing? Or when Petunia made fun of your sunburn, she became as pink as a peony the next day? Or when…”
“Alright! I see your point, Sev.”
She hated the feeling he was right. Her best friend had hidden the most wonderful secret from her for so many years – magic existed.
So then, who else was magical? Lily had always secretly thought that Paul McCartney was a rather wonderful man, but is that because he was
literally magical? Did he have the powers of magic flowing through his veins?
“Stop thinking about Paul McCartney!” Snape jutted in.
“How did you know?”
“You’re always thinking about bloomin’ Paul McCartney,” he trailed off, clearly trying to encourage Lily to see sense. It unnerved her how he knew this private detail, but perhaps it was just a result of a long childhood friendship.
“So, Sev, explain the houses to me one more time. It sounds awfully old-fashioned, sorting people by their main attribute…”
Severus had mentioned the system of Hogwarts houses before, but in the flurry of questions Lily had completely forgotten what he had said to her. Lily’s primary school had houses, named after each previous headmaster, but that had only been for trivial little sporting events and competitions (which Lily had, much to her own dismay, never won any of.)
“So, there is Slytherin, which everyone really think is the best house. It’s for those with the most ambition, those planning for the future, those wizards with the most promise…”
“Well, I wanna be a Slytherin then!” Lily jutted in.
“Lily, everyone wants to be a Slytherin! My ma was.
Next, Gryffindor, the mortal enemy of Slytherin.”
Lily listened to Severus complain adamantly about Gryffindor for what felt like hours. Secretly, Lily rather liked the sound of this house, symbolic of bravery and courage, and clearly with the best animal – the lion. Their colour was red, just like Lily’s own hair, and therefore she unintentionally formed a sense of kinship with Gryffindor house, before having stepped any sort of foot inside of Hogwarts.
“Ravenclaws are the smart ones, the ones who know everything there is to know about being a wizard. Hufflepuffs, well, they’re Hufflepuffs. My ma said the Hufflepuffs were the losers of Hogwarts. They’re loyal, and value friendship and comradery above all else.”
Lily felt almost affronted by Severus’ dislike of Hufflepuff. Surely, values of friendship and comradery were so much more important than being a cunning Slytherin?
“Sev, I don’t know why you hate them so much – they sound sweet.”
“That’s exactly what a Hufflepuff would say!”
Lily felt her cheeks immediately flame red. She was desperate to prove herself, and if being a Slytherin was the way to do that, she wanted to be one, despite her somewhat mild fear of snakes – they’re just glorified long necks, surely?
She sat and spoke with her close friend for hours, discussing the ins and outs of Hogwarts and what it meant for Lily’s future. The sun had left the sky and been replaced by a slim, tired moon, dragging its feet across the carpet of violet sky by the time Lily left Severus’ house. For a second, she stood and watched Severus in his window, pacing backwards and forwards. He seemed so troubled for such a young boy, his face knitted together in a thread of thoughts. Despite his stress, he looked rather sweet, Lily couldn’t help but think maybe, when she was older, Severus could be her future boyfriend. The girls at her old school always gossiped about boys, the way their hair fell across their face, their laugh, whether they could do maths well or not, or if they would invite them to a school hall disco. Secretly, Lily had always looked at someone different in their class, someone who didn’t particularly fit the bill. She was tall, with cascading blonde hair and these big brown eyes, almost like some sort of puppy dog. Lily often thought about inviting her to the school disco, but she knew it was wrong. It wasn’t suitable. Severus would make a convenient boyfriend when she was old enough, he was almost quite cute looking, Lily thought, as she glanced up at his window.
Her train of thoughts was interrupted by a loud shout.
“Lily! Oh doll, I knew it! You’re a witch…” Severus’ mother trailed off in a drunken slur. She had a bottle of drink in her left hand, and something long and slender, like a twig in her other hand. She pulled Lily up into a bone-crushing hug, reeking of drink and sorrow. Lily smiled at her, but inside she saw a picture of sorrow unworthy of a smile. Snape’s ma had always been a mess since she lost her husband, but she was so lost, so drunken, she wondered how Severus coped.
“Come on now Eileen, lets get you inside…” Lily heaved a heavy arm over her shoulder and began to drag the drunken woman into her home. She smelt awful.
“Lily, baby, look at this!”
With an exaggerated movement, something silver shot out the end of the twig she was holding. Lily gasped as a silvery shadow danced around the unlikely pair – an animal. In fact, it wasn’t dancing, more like an almost laughable waddle.
“It’s a macaroni penguin!” Eileen laughed, but it was a sad hollow sound, more like a cry for help.
“Did you know, Lily, penguins mate for life? They find their partner and, and…” she trailed off into these immense, heaving sobs, rattling not only her own chest, but Lily’s next to her. Lily was trying to listen, but she was transfixed by the animal that had come out of the twig, now fading with each desperate sob.
Unsure of how long it had been, Lily was almost thankful when she saw Severus run from out his front door, but instead of greeting Lily, he simply grabbed his ma’s hand and began to pull her towards his house.
“Sev, she’s pretty drunk, I think she needs some help!”
“Lily, just go home, please, she’s always like this.”
Severus looked defeated, his eyes unable to meet Lily as he dragged his sobbing shell of a mother through his front door.
“Sev!” Lily called, but it was too late. His front door was slammed shut, and Lily was left alone on the cobbled street their homes shared, bathed in a wash of Summertime moonlight. She felt so sad for the poor, lonely boy who she knew would spend the night awake, caring for a woman broken by his father’s death. And yet, despite the swathes of misery clinging to the Snapes’ little household, Lily was so excited she wanted to cry. Or scream. Eileen had produced, even for the shortest of minutes, a beautiful penguin from the end of her twig. Real magic, Lily had seen it, for the very first time. It was beautiful, and had taken her breath away. Lily knew, that one day, she would be able to produce her own animal like that – and she couldn’t help but wonder what animal it would be.