Chapter 4
Lily Evans POV:
Lily was thinking about the dress she had received about a week ago, how happy she was to see something so beautiful.
But she also thought about the note that fell out of the folds of the dress when she took it out of the box. It just had antlers on it.
Antlers.
She had no idea what it meant but she was desperate to find out.
She went on a walk, by herself. She had another fight with Petunia and felt upset. Taking walks by the river made her feel better most times.
She heard someone call her name, a certain someone, that certain someone. She did not mind him being there at that moment, even though she still rolled her eyes at him calling her name, it was like waking up with the sun shining on your face when the day before was a rainy and cloudy day.
‘Hello Lily!’ James said to her happily
‘Hello James.’ Lily said with a small smile. She saw he noticed and his whole face lit up.
‘You look beautiful as always if I may say so.’ James told her
‘You may say that.’ It made Lily happy receiving compliments when she was feeling upset, even if they came out of James Potter's mouth.
‘You seem upset, has anything happened? You do not have to tell me if you do not want to. I just want to know if I could help in any way.’ James said, he rushed the last part and it made Lily giggle
‘I had a fight with my sister, we fight pretty often, I love her a lot, but I do not know if she feels the same,’ Lily said, ‘I do not even know why I am telling you this but you were the only person that offered to listen.’
Lily looked at him and saw the sadness on his face, but she also saw relief.
‘I am sorry Lily, but I truly think that your sister does love you and adores you a lot, but does not know how to express that.’ James told her
Lily started crying, not hard, but tears fell from her eyes and she felt sad but also happy at the same time.
‘Lily let us walk you home.’ James said
‘No, I do not want to go to my house, do you think we could go to your house?’ Lily asked in between tears
‘Yes of course, we shall go to my house then.’ He said and they went to the Potter manor.
They arrived at the Potter manor and it immediately felt like a home to Lily, it was warm and the air inside felt like you were sitting in a comfortable armchair.
They walked to a seperate room where they could be alone. And like it had always been normal, Lily threw herself into James’ arms where she could cry.
James took a napkin out of his suit, it was dark red. Lily dried her face with it, she saw in the bottom right corner of the napkin, gold sewn in antlers. When she noticed them, she looked at James with a questioning face, James still looked worried. But when he noticed, he looked afraid of her reaction.
It could not have been James that had sent that dress, right? James Potter? Whom she had always hated. But why had she hated him? He had always been kind to her no matter how rude she was. James Potter?
No. It was not him. It could not have been. Right?
‘Did you..’ Lily was unable to finish her sentence because she already saw the look on James’ face, it must have been him.
‘It was you, how did you even-’ Lily said but was quickly interrupted, ‘Lily I am sure you have noticed already but for the past 13 years I have been madly in love with you and I do not know what to do when I do not see your face daily or hear your laugh, I practically do not know how to breathe or think.’ James said rapidly, he seemed like he was panicking, Lily did not like that look on his face, he was supposed to always smile.
‘Stop it.’ She said
‘Stop what? Lily, I can not help it!’ He said
‘That look on your face, I do not like it,’ she said, still showing no emotion on her face,’smile, like you always do.’
‘I will smile if you tell me what you thought of the dress.’
‘It was beautiful, I think about it every day, I wish I could wear it every day, it should be considered art, James! I have never felt prettier than how pretty I felt in that dress.’ Lily said, smiling now because she thought of the beauty of the dress and the beauty it gave her.
James smiled.
‘You are smiling.’ Lily said, also smiling.
‘Indeed I am.’ James said.
Peter Pettigrew POV:
Peter was aware James was not in love with him. Why would he be anyway?
And he was okay with that, being James’ friend was more than enough.
Besides, he had Barty and Evan, who did love him. Yes, two people. Peter still loved James, they did not know, but they were good for him and gave him the love he deserved.
It was a rainy Saturday afternoon and Peter sat in the sitting room wondering what to do, he could not go outside and take a walk, he would be soaked. He was drowning in his thoughts until he heard a faint ticking on a window somewhere in his house.
Peter, at that moment being alone in the house, went looking for where the noise could be coming from.
He arrived at his bedroom and opened the door, and there stood Barty and Evan, completely drenched. Peter smiled.
‘Will you come with us?’ Evan asked.
‘To where?’ Peter asked
‘The Black manor obviously.’ Barty said with a grin
‘Of course I will come with you.’ Peter said and laughed.
The three of them sprinted through the house and through the front doors, to the Black manor.
Barty and Evan had a way in where the Blacks did not come, as they were their butlers they could use the servants entrance.
The Black manor was enormous, so the chances they were spotted were very little.
They were running through the corridors of the Black manor when suddenly Regulus Black stood there, he must have heard them.
Peter knew Regulus from Sirius. He was very different from Sirius, he liked to keep to himself, in summary, he was an interesting person to anybody who would pay attention to him. Unfortunately, not a lot of people did and always saw Sirius first.
Evan, being Regulus’ butler, waved at him, which made Barty laugh.
‘I will not say anything, I promise, do not worry.’ Regulus said and walked away.
The three of them exchanged looks and burst into laughter.
They ran up to Barty’s bedroom and once they were in there, Evan locked the door.
A while later they lay naked in Barty’s bed, legs intertwined, sweaty and sticky, but it did not matter. It made Peter happy, made him forget about his worries. But what worries did he really have? He was called the casanova by everybody he knew and even did not know.
The sun was going down and Peter decided it was time for him to return to his house, he loved spending time like this with Barty and Evan, he wished he never had to leave.
He had agreed to meet his friend Mary MacDonald later, they met weekly on saturday nights.
Peter snuck out of the Black manor and returned to his house.
He wanted to wash up before meeting Mary, he was sweaty as you could imagine. And so he did wash up and put on a different suit.
A little while later he ate his dinner with his mother and sister. His father had passed away when he was 5, he did not know him well, only that he was a good man.
He met Mary at their usual spot, in the garden of the MacDonald’s house.
‘Why hello m’lady.’ Peter said grinning when he saw Mary sitting on a bench.
‘Pete!’ Mary said and ran up to him happily
‘How are you?’ Peter asked while hugging her
‘I am very good, I am mostly excited to hear what you have for me this week.’ Mary said
Mary ran a gossip paper business, it was really successful, everybody read the paper when it came out on Mondays, everyone.
Peter did not know the reason why she did this, he just knew Mary had always had found gossip fun, and gossip was truly one of the ways people could entertain themselves.
Peter knew a lot of gossip even without the paper, so he helped Mary write.
Peter shared all the gossip he had collected this week and laughed at the gasps and shocked looks Mary gave when hearing them.
And then they started writing, Mary would later bring her paper to a printer downtown, the printer would make sure that there would be hundreds of papers to hand out.
On Sundays, the papers would be picked up by what people would call “the paper boys”, these were boys that would run around town to give everyone their copy of the gossip paper.
The paper boys would collect money, which they would make sure would get back to the printer and he would make sure it would get back to Mary.
They wrote for a long time, after, they took a carriage downtown and delivered the paper to the printer.
‘Thank you for helping me with this Pete, it means a lot.’ Mary said
‘I like helping you with this, it is fun.’ He said
‘The reason I write this is complicated to explain, but I do want to tell you since you put in all this effort.’ Mary told him
‘You do not have to tell me if it is too complicated, really.’ Peter said
‘No it is okay, I want to tell you,’ she said, ‘my family has been having money problems lately, the only reason we keep up is because of the last few savings my father put aside, and once I have earned enough I can also make sure my family does not fall.’
‘Mary I am so sorry, I can understand this is really difficult for you, I promise I will keep helping you with this.’ Peter said he truly felt really sorry for her, he had noticed that Mary had been struggling with something but he could not grasp what it was.
‘Thank you Peter, you are truly a great friend.’ Mary said, giving him a sad smile.
A little later Peter lay in bed wondering about how it was possible that his day had contained so many emotions. Although Peter was good with emotions, a lot was too much.
He heard the ticking on his bedroom window again, he saw Barty and Evan trying to open it, it made Peter laugh, he opened the window for them.
‘What on earth are you doing here?’ Peter asked, still laughing but shocked at the same time.
‘Good-night kiss?’ Barty asked and looked at Peter with big eyes, which was obviously sarcastic, but it was sweet.
Peter looked at Evan, who was also looking at him with a look like he had not been kissed in a hundred years and craved someone's lips on his.
He did kiss them, both of them. It was sweet, soft, exactly like a good-night kiss should be.
‘Sweet dreams, my sweet boy.’ Evan told him and kissed Peter’s cheek. Peter found himself blushing at that.
Barty winked at him and jumped out of the window and ran back to the Black manor, so did Evan.
Feelings. How does one know what they feel? That was the question racing through Peter’s head. He decided he would think about it the next day, he needed his sleep, so he did go to sleep, not entirely peacefully, but he slept and that was good.
Regulus Black POV:
Regulus had always lived in his brother's shadow, in whatever situation they would be, Sirius would always be looked at and admired first.
Regulus did not mind though, he understood why people liked Sirius better than him.
Sirius was outgoing and would talk with anybody he wanted to. Regulus on the other hand, was the opposite, Regulus kept to himself and did not like talking to strangers, he danced with them enough as it was.
The Black family was hard living in, it was strict and noble. Regulus was able to keep to everything they asked of him, Sirius was not. Sirius was a troublemaker, no matter how badly he would get hurt, he would never listen.
Regulus loved his brother, a lot even. But he did not know how to show it. He did not have a particularly good relationship with him at this moment and it did really break his heart.
The only family member Regulus felt like he could talk to was his cousin Narcissa, they had a lot in common and Regulus felt safe talking to her. She moved far away though, after she married that fat-skulled Lucius Malfoy.
Regulus loathed Lucius.
Regulus wanted to have a good relationship with Sirius, he really wanted it. But every time he tried to put in effort he failed and Sirius just pushed him even further away. Sirius could not see the effort Regulus was willing to put in for his brother.
Three knocks sounded on the library door, Regulus was often alone in there so that is why it was closed.
The three knocks were in a familiar rhythm, knock, and then two fast knocks after one another. It was the rhythm Sirius used when knocking on any door where Regulus would be behind.
‘You may enter, the door is not locked.’ Regulus said
‘Oh, hello Reg,’ Sirius said, and Regulus glared at him for using that nickname, ‘my apologies, Regulus.’
They sat in silence, Regulus wondered why Sirius had come to him at this specific moment to just sit in silence. But he was not going to ask, he wanted to enjoy the time he had with his brother as long as he could, he was not going to ruin that, not now when Sirius was finally willing to be alone with him.
‘What are you reading?’ Sirius asked
‘I am not reading, I am writing.’ Regulus simply answered, Regulus wrote poetry, it was one of the ways he could really find himself and express his feelings, because he was not particularly good at doing that in normal situations.
‘Poetry?’ His brother asked
‘Yes, and no you can not read it.’ Regulus said. He felt Sirius staring at him from across the table they were sitting at and he knew Sirius wanted to read his poems, but Regulus found it too personal.
‘You have shown me one of your poems once, it was really good Regulus.’ Sirius told him
‘I was fifteen years old, and it was one of my first ever, it was far from good.’ He answered
‘Well I thought it was good.’ Sirius said, still convinced he was right.
After that they sat in silence again, Sirius watched him write, but never looked at what he was writing, Regulus was grateful Sirius respected him.
‘Sirius Orion Black!’ Their mothers voice screeched through the whole house, so loud it could make windows break.
Sirius looked at Regulus with a funny but also scared face, it made Regulus laugh, Sirius was the only one who was able to make Regulus laugh.
Sirius walked to the hallway where their mother was standing and looking furious fast.
She slapped him across the face. Regulus immediately stood up from his chair to see if Sirius was okay, but of course he was, he had taken bigger beatings, but he still did not deserve this.
‘Mother, what has he done?’ Regulus asked when he stepped into the hallway.
‘Keep out of this!’ She screamed at him, Regulus flinched
‘Do not scream at him, he has not done anything wrong!’ Sirius told their mother.
Another slap in the face, Sirius lost his balance, he had to hold on to the railing of the stairwell because if he had not he would have fallen down.
‘You do not speak to me about what I can and what I can not do, I am your mother and I do as I please and you, do as I say!’ She screamed at Sirius.
Their father stepped into the hallway, ‘What is going on here?’ He asked obviously mad
‘Sirius has been behaving like an immature child again,’ their mother screamed, ‘and then he dares to talk back at me and tell me what to do!’
‘Is that true young man?’ Their father asked.
Regulus could see the fear he was so desperately trying to hide in Sirius’ eyes.
‘Yes father, and I apologise.’ Sirius said, but it was clear in his tone that this was not meant, it was also clear that their parents had sensed this too.
Their father gave Sirius a fist in the stomach and Sirius fell down to his knees. Regulus immediately stepped forward, but knew the risks if he stepped further, so he did not.
‘Father please, I have given my apologies, is that not enough? I am trying to be a good man in society and I am succeeding, can you not be proud of me for once?’ Sirius pleaded, Sirius knew that if he would not do this, he would get beaten more.
Sirius looked at Regulus as if he was saying ‘Do something’ but Regulus could not, he froze any time this happened.
A kick in the stomach, another one, and another one, Sirius was laying in the fetal position, covering his stomach with his legs.
‘Let us take a walk, Walburga, we are done here.’ And so their parents left them, Regulus standing against the wall and Sirius laying on the floor.
Regulus waited until his parents left and then ran to the kitchens to get a cup of water for Sirius.
As he returned to Sirius, Barty and Evan were standing at the top of the stairs.
First water to Sirius, then talk to Barty and Evan. That is what Regulus told himself.
He gave Sirius the water and made sure he sat comfortably, got his hair out of his face and took him to a sofa where he could sit.
‘What happened?’ Evan asked
‘I have no idea what he did, but he got beat again.’ Regulus said sadly
‘He should stop doing dumb things like these, it is going to get him killed some day.’ Barty said
‘You know I can hear you from here right?’ Sirius said softly from the sitting room, you could hear from his voice he was still in pain, but you could also hear that he was smiling.
Regulus decided to ignore him.
‘Do not think I do not know what you get up to at night, that could get you killed too you know.’ Regulus said and gave them a judgemental look.
This made them both laugh.
A while later, after he had helped Sirius up the stairs, to his bedroom.
Regulus lay in bed, knowing that most of the days in his life had been and will be like these.
His parents had high expectations of him and Sirius both, he knew that. To fulfil those was hard, but Regulus could do it, and he knew Sirius could too, but he was just not willing.
The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.
How it had always seemed so perfect, while things like these go on behind the doors of the place they call home.