Listen, Remus really does love his friends. And more than that even, he appreciates and is grateful for how they deal with his lycanthropy. Truly, he can not physically feel more gratitude for them than he already does. Them just accepting him would have been enough, but then becoming full
blown animagi for him? Mental. He loves them dearly and knows that they always want him to know that they love him just as much.
That being said, sometimes they are fucking idiots.
See, as much as they want to include him and assure him that he's not any different from them, it's just not the truth is it? And Remus is genuinely as okay with that as he can be. I mean quite frankly it's really obvious that Remus, with his limp and cane and overall unfitness is quite different from star quidditch player James and Sirius with their lean arms and near endless physical fitness. And while Peter may not be on the Quidditch team as of right now, that doesn't stop him from just going on about his life doing all the activities he wants to do.
In other words, Remus friends were healthy while he was not.
And even tho Remus knows that he shouldn't laugh at them for trying their best, it can get really fucking hilarious when they conveniently forget about that fact.
"Remus, light of our life's, we need your help" James suddenly materialised in front of him. Remus has been reading in the gryffindors common room for the past hour, waiting for the others to get back from quidditch practice. Peter may not be on the team but that doesn't stop him from giving wild advice and harsh but often helpful criticism to the other two, which leads him to visiting their scrimmages every so often. The same cannot be said for Remus though, he just genuinely didn't care for quidditch regardless of the whole werewolf thing.
But well, of course that is also a factor because it is always a factor. Remus is like a hundred percent sure that even if the urge to become a quidditch prodigy suddenly made home inside his head, he wouldn't really be able to follow through on that. Not without pain and fatigue at least. All physically activity that requires him to do more than just casually strolling around the castle tends to do that.
Remus looks up from the paperback in his hands, eyeing James suspiciously. This is not good. Wether it isn't good for Remus or for their fellow classmates -because the marauders have just come up with another prank that requires Remus help- remus hasn't decided yet but it still isn't good nonetheless. Not that Remus minds much, he's definitely used to it by now.
"Oh christ," he sighs "what is it now?"
Sirius, who's hair gleams in the awful evening sunlight and who's face has little beats of sweat on it that made remus want to carefully wipe each one away (Remus has observed that Sirius turns him into a very weird kind of guy) just scoffs at Remus. "Why do you always assume the worst?"
"To be fair most of the time it is the worst with us" Peter quips from behind him.
Remus smirks at that "Thank you Pete"
James, trying to put an end to Sirius and Peters attempts at playful bickering, clears his throat loudly. He is a man on a mission an Remus just knows he's fucked.
"Remus, my dearest and almost oldest friend. You know how I prefer your company over the ones of any of the gentlemen around me?" He starts up again, earning himself smacks on the arms from the other two. Remus suspicion only grows.
"....Maybe? Mate, just say what you need me to do." Remus asks, because seriously he has no fucking clue what James wants from him.
The three marauders share a look. Remus immediately craves relief in form of an interruption or death. God, like the asshole he is, does not grant it to him.
"Well, okay now before you say no immediately just hear me out," James looks at him with pleading eyes. Oh christ this is not a good sign.
Remus nods tentatively. "Okay, hearing you out"
James immediately perks up "Right okay, so, the thing is that we had a scrimmage with Slytherin today right?" Remus nods again "Right, so, contrary to popular belief scrimmages are actually really important and sometimes they get a little heated because obviously people just want to win and well, sometimes they don't really think it through because it's just not that serious and they can't really tell when what they're doing is counterproductive because they just aren't as focused and really nobody should be blamed for the way they behave during scrimmages-"
"Oh for fucks sake James, stop defending my little brother, the tosser knew exactly what he was doing." Sirius cuts in.
"I'm not really following" Remus confesses because it's true, he really isn't following.
James just swallows hard. "Okay so, Regulus accidentally-"
"On purpose." Sirius interrupts yet again.
James glares. "Regulus either purposefully or accidentally swept our teams keeper off her broom, and she isn't really in the state to play for next weekends match."
"I'd say it serves her right if we weren't dependant on her for the games. Isn't she the twat who kept trying to sneak love potions into your breakfast?" Sirius remarks, clearly more upset about the girls condition as a player rather than a person. Remus swears he just saw James bite his cheek to suppress a smile.
"Yes padfoot, i suppose that was her" James mumbles sounding ridiculously fond. He stares into space for a bit, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards ever so slightly. Remus doesn't really understand why Regulus black sending some girl that fancies James to the hospital wing made him so happy, but that isn't really any of Remus business.
Then, James snaps out of his daze and looks at Remus pointedly. "So....?"
Remus blinks at the three boys blankly. He still isn't really sure what they want from him. He doesn't know any gryffindors willing to play keeper. James and Sirius know way more people interested in quidditch than he does, and Peter is basically friendly with the entirety of the Gryffindor tower.
"So?" he asks, possibly even more confused than before.
The three marauders in front of him groan, as if Remus was stupid for not realising what exactly they want from him. How the hell is he supposed to know? Dramatic gits. Screw them honestly, it isn't his fault that they always come up with the most out of pocket ideas and solutions. You'd think that balls to the walls crazy is in Remus vocabulary as much as it is in theirs by now, but somehow they still manage to always just top whatever stupid ploy they came up with last time. It isn't as if they've ever come to Remus with reasonable requests, and this time Remus truly doesn't know what he's supposed to do to help them! Like he said, he literally doesn't know anybody willing to play keeper and it's not as if he could just play himself-
Wait. Pause there for a second.
Do they know he can't just play himself?
"Wait. Are you nitwits actually asking if i'll play seeker for you?"
The three boys look at each other, until Peter speaks up "Trust me mate, it's a last resort. I'd play, but i've got greenhouse duty during the match and i really can't miss that again or sprout will actually have my head"
Sirius nods intensely, as if he actually saw mrs sprout threatening Peters life. Maybe he did. "Seriously Moony, we've asked literally everyone. Even the first years! Nobody wants to be a bloody keeper, actually, i'm certain ours only joined because it meant she had an excuse to ogle at prongs every evening"
James speaks up next "Please Remus, light of my life for whom my heart burns fully and passionately," Sirius jaw visibly clenches at that, which was absolutely delightful to see in Remus humble opinion "Just do us all this one favour and play. I saw you fly during our first year and you were on the same level as Peter! You know the rules and you can play, so please just do us this favour"
Well that's really shite. Goddamn, Remus never expected that there would come a time where he wished he could become a quidditch player over night, but here it is and it makes Remus feel downright awful. His friends, his friends who have done quite literally everything for him, are asking him for this one thing and he can't give it to them. That really, really hurts.
Remus stares down at his lap and clenches the hands laying on it. He looks to his right where his cane rests against the couch he's sitting on, and sighs. It's situations like these that make him realise that yes, he's different from his friends and not just on the full moon. His chronic illness is like the name says chronic, even tho most people tend to forget that. He's sick 24/7 and can't just decide to suddenly do this thing and expect it to go well. And if he is honest, those situations are really sad.
"I can't."
But then, he looks up at the borderline confused faces of his friends and he decides that they are simultaneously, really fucking funny.
"What do you mean you can't? I saw you play during your first year! You're not brilliant but you're certainly something. We really gotta work on your confidence, mate" Peter tries to encourage Remus, so certain about getting Remus onto that field that Remus genuinely cant help snorting.
His entire body is shaking, trying to hol back laughter, but he ultimately fails and dissolves into a puddle of giggles. Bad idea tho, because the second he starts laughing his chest clenches together and he feels something pierce through his ribcage. It makes him wince and inhale sharply, but the irony of that is just so hilarious to him that he starts laughing all over again once the pain is gone.
"You- You really," he manages to choke out in-between laughs "You really can't come up with one reason as to why I might not be able to play seeker?"
The boys shake their heads. Oh this is fucking golden.
You would think they are used to it by now, because in certain situations they really are. Remus knows they think he doesn't notice them treating him ever so slightly differently, but he does notice. And while he would never admit that out loud, the stupid little unspoken rules they've set for each other to help Remus really do help.
Like how when they are somewhere icy and snowy, Remus always has to walk inbetween two of them so that they can catch him incase he falls. Or how when Remus forgets something in their dorm, or the astronomy tower, or any place else that can't be reached unless you climb a ridiculous amount of stairs, one of the other marauders always seems to have forgotten something as well, so it would only make sense for them to go grab that and bring Remus his thing as well. Or the fact that they've all started carrying around Tylenol for him. He's really grateful for that. Still, sometimes they just forget and it just reminds Remus that while he isn't the most normal teen out there, his friends still like to see him as if he were.
Really, Remus loves how absolutely oblivious his friends can be sometimes. Like when Sirius asks him to race him to some classroom only to immediately go red once he realises his mistake. Or when Peter asks if he wants to join his family during their summer hiking trips, and he can just wait for his friend to realise and stutter out an apology. Or
when James Fleamont Potter asks him to casually start doing a high intensity sport that's known to be exhausting and hard on the joints. Sure, all of those situations make Remus realise that he is in fact the odd one out, but it still always improves his mood to see his friends squirming after they realise.
"Are you guys serious?" Remus asks, slightly bewildered that they haven't caught on yet.
"Well no, that's just me" Sirius smirks, probably expecting a round of laughs but only earning groans because really, they have heard that joke a million times by now. It got old fairly quick.
"Oh come on" Sirius starts, and Remus already knows he'll have to deal with his moping later. "You can't laugh at my joke but you can laugh at our attempts to get you on our sports team?"
Remus laughs again. "Can you repeat that?"
Sirius frowns "You can't laugh at my joke but you can laugh at our attempts to get you on our sports team?"
"Just the last two words please." Remus smirks.
"Sports....Team?" Sirius asks, and Remus practically beams with anticipation as he slowly watches the wheels in their heads turn.
Still, nothing happens tho. This is getting frustrating. Seriously, they could remember to pick a pen off the ground for Remus because they knew bending down hurt his back but they couldn't possibly find a reason as to why he might not be able to play sports with them?
Remus gently motion, for Sirius to go on with raised eyebrows and a gentle smile, like he's asking a first grader to tell him what one plus one equals, but apparently Sirius hasn't reached first grade yet.
Remus smile drops and he scoffs, before grabbing his cane and whacking each of the boys wherever he can reach their torso with it. For three people with such ridiculously high school marks, all of them are incredibly deft.
Peter, James and Sirius all hiss out in pain which is really dramatic in Remus opinion. "What the fuck?" The three of them say, as if they share a singular braincell. Honestly, Remus would not be surprised.
"Genuinely?" Remus just gapes at them. The confusion in their eyes signals that yeah, apparently the cane whacking was not enough to convince them that Remus, someone who literally uses a cane, isn't exactly someone who is keen on physical activity. He shakes the cane in front of them to demonstrate for good measure, but that doesn't cut it either. Gently, he sets it aside again and quietly stares them down before forcing his shoulder to dislocate with a grotesque pop (because apparently that was something his shoulder did nowadays, after being forced in and out of its socket during transformations one time too much. At least it made for a pretty cool party trick) that resulted in the three marauders wincing and covering their ears.
And then, finally, it dawned on them. Took long enough.
Remus watches the thought unravel in their heads with a satisfied nod of his own. It reaches James first, who's jaw immediately drops, probably because he can't believe he didn't realise sooner. Sirius is next, but he just winces because he knows Remus will never let him live this down. As much as Remus might enjoy Sirius company, he'll always interrupt a kiss if it means he can make fun of the way Sirius made their teeth clash together. And when Peter realises, he just looks horrified because...well, probably because he's horrified.
As if on cue, they immediately all start scrambling to apologise, talking over each other and actually getting on their knees at some point, which makes Remus absolutely explode with laughter.
"We- we really are sorry Moony, christ i don't know how we didn't realise, i guess that image of first year you on that broom was just still planted in all of our heads and-" Peter gasps out before James swiftly takes over "Remus, my favourite, we were bloody morons for not getting the message the second you said you couldn't and we want you to know that we in no way ever expected you to actually do us the favour, i mean honestly now it wouldn't be a favour because well you would be in pain and trust me that's the last thing we want-" Sirius presses in front of James the second he realises he'd started rambling "Moony, Remus, what James and Peter are trying to say is that we just didn't think and that we will move right along to try and convince another unfortunate soul to take your place, isn't that right boys?"
Peter and James, who are still on the ground by the way, nod enthusiastically. Remus really is glad for Sirius because he just always knows what to say, doesn't he? The constant apologies from the other two might be entertaining in the moment, but once the moment passes they just leave Remus feeling guilty, because they shouldn't have to apologise for asking their friend to play a game with them, no matter how stupid the game might be. But Sirius doesn't do that. He says sorry maybe once, and immediately moves on or find a solution. It really does make Remus smile.
And so, while two marauders are frowning on the ground, two different marauders are grinning on the couch because- oh well apparently Sirius decided to spread out next to Remus sometime during Remus inner rant about Sirius perfectness. Ugh, even Remus knows that was horribly corny. He still likes it tho.
Sirius still looks absolutely fucking amazing, even if his hair was still wet from the showers an his cheeks tinted red from the afternoon sun. If anything, that made him look better, the prick. And then, as if sitting right next to Remus when he looked like that wasn't enough, Sirius moves his hand ever so slightly so that their pinkies touch, because well Sirius is simply a wanker who hates him.
"Hey James, Peter, I think Marlene sometimes forces Mary to play with her. You could try and convince her, I'll even let you use me for pity points." Remus says, still grinning at Sirius because honestly he would even play a godforsaken quidditch game right now if it meant being alone with Sirius.
"Are you serious? Well let's go then wormtail. Sirius, you should probably stay here, we both know you won't be any good at convincing Mary, no offence" James immediately stands up, dragging Peter up with him. It isn't really anything new that both Mary and Marlene liked to put on the act that they hated Sirius and would do anything to displease him ever since Sirius forget Mary's birthday whilst they were dating. Honestly, Remus couldn't blame them because Remus also hated him for that, with slightly different opinions on what was so bad about that tho. Sirius could forget Marys birthday as often as he wanted to for all Remus cares, as long as he wasn't dating her while doing that.
"Oh well," Sirius still grinned "Guess i'll be stuck with old Moony then"
Remus narrowed his eyes, still holding eye contact with Sirius, who's already red cheeks turned ever so slightly redder "Guess you will be"
Peter and James who were completely oblivious to what was playing out in front of their noses just blinked twice before saying they'll meet them at dinner and turning around to walk through the portrait, leaving Remus and Sirius all alone.
The literal second the portrait door closes again, Sirius moves closer and lets their shoulders bump together. Remus leans into the touch, not even bothering to hide how badly he craves it. Yeah, it was kind of embarrassing that no matter how much he was touching Sirius, he always seemed to crave more. But then again, he was literally just a teenage boy so what on earth did you expect.
"So...." Sirius mumbles once he was certain they were alone in the common room "i guess i'll have to give up on my dreams of seeing you all sweaty in the quidditch uniform?"
Remus pulls a face at that, because the mere thought of him on a broom makes him shudder "Please just shut the fuck up" he shivers, before promptly making sure Sirius actually will keep his mouth shut by throwing his own on top.
Sirius kisses him back because yeah, thats a thing they do now, and it tempts Remus to break the kiss just so he can smile at that. He doesn't tho because god knows you can only kiss so often when you live amongst two other boys who have no idea that you even want to kiss in the first place.
Sirius hand comes up to cup his jaw as is he's planned this all along (which he probably has, to be fair) and gently strokes remus cheek while his mouth works against Remus own, even gentler. Infuriating, really.
Maybe making out in the common room where literally anyone could walk in and see is stupid, but as we've already established, Sirius is stupid. And well, he also makes Remus a little stupid too. And so, because they are both fucking idiots who still like each other a whole lot, they just keep deepening the kiss, only breaking it when coming up for air is absolutely necessary.
At some point Remus leg ends up on top of Sirius thigh, which is nice in theory but in practice, Remus hip is basically screaming and throwing knifes at him because god forbid he elevates his leg higher than two centimetres.
Even tho this greatly upsets Remus, especially because of the way Sirius had started grasping his back, trying to get him as close as humanly possible, he knows that the whole kissing Sirius business will just somehow end up feeling kind of awful if he doesn't switch positions. He leans away from Sirius to try and communicate this to him but Sirius just chases his lips which, wow, okay that was something for sure. But still, the pain is getting really uncomfortable now and he doesn't want to be put out of order for the next hour or so just because of a five minute make out session, so he gently peels away once again.
This time, Sirius doesn't try to follow and just stares at him, visibly confused and pouting, as if Remus pulling away from him was the greatest crime anyone had ever committed. Honestly, with his wet hair stuck to his forehead and his just as wet lips all red and swollen, it was very clear that he was just making out with someone mere seconds ago. The knowledge that this someone is Remus fills him with smugness. He is living the dream of at least half of the girls in their year, and he fucking relishes in that.
"What." Sirius scowls, and for someone who adores making fun of the way his brother always growls and snarls, he was acting an awful lot like him. Remus doesn't say that tho, because he values the fact that he could theoretically call Sirius more than his friend and he'd like to keep it that way thank you very much.
"i uhm, can't have my legs on top of you like that. Hip doesn't like them being elevated very much"
"Oh," Sirius mutters, all trace of a scowl suddenly gone from his face. "well, that doesn't have to be an issue" he insists, before promptly pushing Remus against the back of the couch and slipping his leg off him, simply straddling Remus instead. Well, modern problems require modern solutions and all that, and really Remus doesn't mind the modern solutions all that much.
In a matter of seconds, their lips meet yet again and they are grasping at each other, as if trying to melt into one being. Horribly corny yet horribly true. If Remus could let a little part of him fuse with Sirius, he's sure it would have happened by now.
Whenever one of them does have to stop and come up for air, the other just starts working on their neck and collarbone area, pulling at the skin hard enough so that the other can feel and enjoy it, but not hard enough to leave a mark because god knows how well that would go over with their nosy group of friends. Still, a very little very possessive and honestly embarrassing part of Remus wishes he could still just grant himself one small hickey on Sirius neck, just so other people would know he isn't just up for grabs
Whenever their lips meet again after being apart for only a few seconds, half a minute at most, they still greet as if they are a sailor and his wife, witnessing each other for the first time after being forced apart for months and months on end, wanting nothing more than to just embrace and finally being granted the opportunity to do so. It's not always pretty, it's actually quite messy because while they both have one extensive research on the matter of kissing people, all of their test subjects were girls, who were all definitely lovely but still couldn't compare to each other. They also, quite frankly, had more manners than Remus and Sirius did.
During Remus very short and very unfortunate time with Marlene (trust him, neither of them was particularly thrilled about the whole ordeal while it was going on) it was always very calm when they kissed. Remus assumed he should be the one in charge, because well, he was the guy after all, and Marlene let him. Sirius does not, because like him, he also has the picture painted that he should be the one who leads the kisses. This leads to gentle kissing turning into make out sessions that are more about the fight for dominance than they are about showing affection.
"Sirius," Remus gasps out when he breaks away from Sirius, who's getting to work on his jaw immediately "i swear if you bite my lip one more time I will-"
Sirius, like the arsehole he is, bites his cheek.
"Ow! Jesus, you twat, get off me!" Remus heaves and shoves Sirius off of his lap, sending him flying onto the still unoccupied part of the couch, where he just lays expectantly. Remus, because he is a weak man indeed, follows Sirius immediately, hovering over his body. But, because the universe hates him, just as he was about to lean in to start yet another kiss, his elbow gives out from beneath him and he falls down on top of Sirius. Their chests hit an they both wheeze because their breath is punched out of them as easy as that. They really gotta stop smoking.
"Ow fuck, Moony, if you're this desperate to get on top of me you could've just said so, no need to attack me." Remus winces. This is embarrassing. Apparently making out is now also on the long list of things that his body keeps him from executing properly, along with quidditch.
"Sorry." Remus mumbles into the crook of Sirius neck, because if that's where his head landed then that's where his head shall be.
Apologising, apparently, was not the right move because Sirius -again!!- bites into his shoulder. Remus yelps but Sirius doesn't care, not really "Shut up, don't apologise for something that isn't your fault. And in any case, I don't really mind the position you just brought us in."
And once Sirius says that, Remus finds that he actually doesn't mind all that much either. Their chests were still pressed up against each other from where they knocked together, and Sirius left thigh was trapped between Remus legs. If he were to just move it up a bit- Stop. No. Absolutely not in the common room on the couch where every single one of their friends has sat before. Gross.
Sirius apparently has the exact same thought process, because his face suddenly uncomfortably twists.
"Well, I wouldn't mind if your cane wasn't absolutely stabbing me in the back right now."
Oh. Right. His cane that was still resting on the couch where he'd left it. Come to think of it, his book was probably also still here somewhere, buried between cushions where Remus would very likely spend hours searching for it later in the day. Still, that was future Remus problem.
"If you'd be so kind" Sirius requests with a tight lipped smile that makes it very clear he's trying not to wince and Remus scrambled off of him immediately. When Sirius actually stands up with the cane after removing it from the couch though, it's Remus turn to scowl. Who does he think he is to just commence the make out session to come to a stop? Incredibly rude if you ask Remus.
Sirius gently passes Remus cane back and forth in his hands before asking "How long do you think they'll take trying to convince Mary to be their seeker?"
Remus gapes at him, lips slightly parted. Seriously, all of that just happening in the past who knows how many minutes, and the one thing Sirius cares about is quidditch? So fucking typical. Remus could only scoff.
Well, maybe he actually does scoff because Sirius brows immediately furrow and he scowls at him. "Remus, light and love of my life, I am asking how long you think they will be away, busy, leaving us with the dorm to ourselves"
Remus face immediately heats up, curse him for blushing so easily. He knows Sirius just called him that as a joke because thats what all the marauders call each other that but, well, the love of his life is a new addition. And yeah, Remus knows that Sirius doesn't actually mean that but it's still nice to know he gets an extra title from Sirius that sets him apart from the others. And well, there was also the implication that Sirius wants to take Remus up the the dorm for -presumably- more kissing in that sentence, and Remus also finds that pretty neat.
His scowl vanishes and is replaces by a smug grin "Well, they did say they'd meet us at dinner"
Sirius is grinning as well now, and reaches his hand out for Remus to take. Remus, quite obviously, does this with no complains. He swiftly helps Remus to his feet and hands him his cane.
Then, Sirius cocks his head to the side and his smirk widens as if he's just had the best idea ever. "Race you up the stairs?"
Remus blinks at him for a second before promptly dissolving into laughter, clutching his stomach hard. Sirius is quick to notice he just repeated his mistake from earlier and presses his face into his hands to muffle a groan.
Still clutching his stomach and laughing hard Remus manages to choke out "Pads, I think you'll be lucky if I even make it up these stairs when just walking up"
"Please shut up" Sirius groans.
"Absolutely not, I will never shut my mouth about this"
"Well," Sirius finally looks up from his hands again "Guess I'll just have to try to make you anyways, won't I?" He huffs out, before pressing another kiss to Remus lips. This one is softer than the ones before though, almost dripping with affection and utter fondness. Remus smiles into it, and he knows Sirius does too, because he can feel him grin against his lips.
And yeah.
Remus Lupin really did love his friends.