Even Stranger Things

Sirianna watched Chief Hopper fall in what felt like slow motion…

He started to fall and Harry was moving - someone screamed - Harry yelled for ‘Hop' - Chief Hopper hit the ground.

Harry pulled his arm from Sirianna's grasp, pushed past Billy and ran toward Hopper while Sirianna was frozen in place, frozen by the blood puddled beneath him.

There was so much blood, shining brightly under the headlights, still oozing outward… Benny's blood had been so dark, so cold. Hopper's blood was bright, seemed warm. He was going to die and Harry was kneeling in his blood and Harry's mouth was moving and he was rolling the body and Hopper was going to die.

Sirianna didn't know what to do, couldn't think of anything to do, and when someone grabbed her hand she just squeezed it and held them by her side.

"BILLY!" Harry yelled and that made Sirianna jump because Harry didn't yell. His hands were on Hopper's chest and there was light there, light trickling from his palms to Hopper's body. "Help!"

Billy was moving and Sirianna backed up, backed out of the way, when Steve was moving too and it was just her and El and El was crying beside Sirianna, quiet sniffles.

"Careful," Harry was telling the boys what to do, putting Steve at Hopper's feet and Billy at his head. "Take him to the couch," he ordered them.

Sirianna watched the boys lift Hopper up, she watched Harry keep his hands on Hopper - not his chest, but his side. Sirianna heard Hopper make a gurgling sound when they passed her.

He wasn't dead - he wasn't Benny.

Not yet.

Sirianna pulled on El's hand to tug her in the house behind the boys. They followed them into the living room and Sirianna should be helping, should have been doing something. Harry - Harry was doing everything though —

"Get a towel."

"Move the guns."

"Grab him water."

"Get this shirt off him."

Harry was brilliant, Harry had always been brilliant. Harry stayed by Hopper's side and a layer of sweat built up on his forehead while he cleaned and healed the wounds that would have killed Hopper. Harry didn't stop, he didn't stammer, he didn't hide away from it.

Sirianna watched her little brother, her baby brother who was always thought of first and treated the worst, while he saved Hopper's life. It didn't make her feel inadequate, though she was utterly useless while the blood kept her from nearing Hopper, it made her…

It made her proud.

Harry collapsed on the floor in a tired heap when Hopper's wounds were healed and he looked like he could be sleeping. Sirianna went to him then, unsure what she could do to help? Harry did everything and he looked like a hero, but then he looked up at her and he was just Sirianna's brother and he was tired and drained and Sirianna wasn't completely useless.

"You're amazing," Sirianna said. She caught Steve's eye over Harry's head and she nodded toward the chair, Harry needed to rest. He - he… he apparently had quite the busy day.

Sirianna would feed him and put him in bed - maybe make him take a bath - then she would make him explain what he had done that day.

‘Buried a body', Sirianna was sure Harry had a good reason, but she wished he had told her. If he was in trouble… Sirianna just wanted him to go to her. She thought he knew - that she would always take care of him.

Steve grabbed Harry's shoulder and Harry must have been tired because he let him pull him to his feet then Sirianna guided him to the chair to fuss over him. Hopper was fine, Harry made sure of it, it was Harry who needed taken care of.

"I'm okay," Harry said as he sat down and pulled his muddy shoes up on the chair. Harry looked over at Hopper and Sirianna didn't know it, she didn't know anything clearly, but Harry - Harry liked Hopper.

Sirianna didn't like Hopper, but Harry did.

Harry liked Hopper and he liked Steve and he buried a body and then saved Hopper's life and he was tired.

Sirianna loved him and she was so proud of him and she also wished that he would tell her when he did things. Sirianna always listened, always. Even when Harry used to chatter on about floods and tornadoes and how wind patterns could delay postage.

"You need to eat," Sirianna told him, a bit bossy, but honestly. Sirianna had been communicating, Harry had to too. "And then sleep. Then we are having a very long talk, Harry James. El," Sirianna turned around to find El and pointed at Hopper, "you watch him. Steve, go get Harry food. Billy," she looked at Billy and hesitated, "What time do you need to be home?"

Because Billy could not be late.

"Midnight." Billy leaned against the wall in front of Sirianna's room, his body tense and his eyes tracking everyone else when they moved at Sirianna's directions. Sirianna looked at a clock, saw it was only eleven, and nodded.

"Okay. Help me clean," she said. There was blood everywhere. Everywhere.

Steve brought Harry a plate of leftovers that Sirianna had put in the fridge. When Harry refused to eat, claiming he wasn't hungry and Steve should help himself, Sirianna looked to Billy and rolled her eyes before getting irritated and sarcastic.

"Steve, make yourself a plate so that Harry doesn't feel like a cunt fucker for eating in front of you. Harry, eat. El, if they don't eat then smack Steve."

"Smack Steve?!" Steve yelped. "Why smack Steve?"

"Because nobody's fucking smacking Harry," Billy muttered, his sleeves rolled up as he helped Sirianna scrub the blood from the carpet. It didn't make Sirianna feel great that Billy knew exactly which cleaners would get the blood up. "God damn, why do you ask stupid questions?"

Sirianna looked over her shoulder and saw that Steve was making a little pouting face, but it was a stupid question because nobody was ever going to smack her brother. And if Steve didn't go eat so that Harry would eat, someone was getting smacked. El was as stubborn as Sirianna though and crossed her arms and pointed to the kitchen until Steve dragged himself to make his own plate.

"Idiots," Billy murmured to Sirianna.

They were idiots. But they were kind of cute idiots when Steve sat on the floor beside Harry's chair to eat his own plate of leftovers and Sirianna caught him looking at Harry a few times. Sirianna wondered if Harry felt nervous around Steve sometimes, like she did Billy. It was brilliant that Harry had a crush, Sirianna had been dying to talk about Billy with Harry more but worried it would hurt his feelings somehow.

And there Harry was, killing people and burying their bodies and having dates with popular boys from their school without even telling Sirianna about it. Sirianna tried to understand that Harry didn't like to talk, but it still hurt her feelings some.

Sirianna was always there for Harry, but he seemed to need her less and less lately.

It was very nearly midnight by the time that Sirianna and Billy had all of the blood cleaned. They scrubbed the carpet, mopped the hallway. Billy dumped water on the porch, Sirianna pulled a water-hose from the garage to spray off Hopper's car and the puddle of blood in the driveway. Billy moved the cars so that he wasn't blocked in, which left more blood for them to hose away.

Sirianna was shivering when they finished. Billy leaned against the side of his car and lifted his arm up, giving Sirianna a warm place to rest for a moment.

Sirianna tilted her head back and looked up at the sky, at the stars that were able to twinkle even with the few lights that should have blocked them. "Why's everything always so terrible?" she asked. Sirianna wasn't speaking to the stars, she wasn't speaking to Billy either really, she was just tired.

Sirianna was so tired of blood and pain and she wanted it to end.

"Everything isn't terrible," Billy said. Sirianna looked at him hopefully, desperately pinning her desire for something good on Billy.

What he offered her was a lit cigarette and a shrug.

"I'm pretty fucking great," Billy smirked. "And you're pretty fucking great. So a lot of shit sucks, but everything isn't terrible."

Okay, Sirianna grinned a little bit as she took the cigarette, everything wasn't terrible.

Sirianna relaxed beside Billy, breathing in the cool air mixed with Billy's cologne and the cigarette smoke. It wasn't terrible being with Billy. It was terrible that Harry had buried a body and that Hopper had been hurt.

"I didn't know Harry liked Hopper," Sirianna admitted. It made her feel awful inside, like something sick was curling up in the pit of her stomach, but she admitted to the rest of it too. "I don't - I don't really like Hopper."

Hopper was - he was trying to be Benny and Benny had tried to be someone that Sirianna never had. Benny was gone and Hopper was aggressive and he made Harry do things he didn't want to do. Sirianna didn't like him.

Then Hopper nearly died trying to save Will Byers's life and Sirianna didn't know of anything more brave and noble. It made Sirianna like him, a little, and she didn't want to like him. Harry caring so much about Hopper made Sirianna like Hopper a little and she didn't want to like him.

"Everyone I care about gets hurt," Sirianna said, stricken with that truth. Sirianna didn't remember her parents, but she knew she loved them and they were dead. Sirianna didn't love anyone more than she loved Harry and he'd been hurt so badly that he was an entirely different person. Sirianna had cared about Benny so much, so much more than she thought she would, and he was dead.

Sirianna cared about Billy and he was going to leave and go back somewhere that he was going to be hurt.

"Stay here," Sirianna said suddenly, her fear for Billy grabbing her by the chest and squeezing tightly. She looked up at him and pleaded, "Please? Just stay here. Don't go home."

Billy sighed at her before he pulled a long inhale off his cigarette, tilting his head on the exhale so the smoke didn't go in Sirianna's face.

"Don't do that, Sirianna," Billy said. His voice wasn't hard, but there was a note of warning there. Billy's thumb drew circles on Sirianna's hip while they stared at each other, both too stubborn. "Don't make me talk you into me having to go home," he said quietly. "I'm not going to waste a bunch of time trying to convince you that everything's fucking great, you gotta just accept it."

And who wanted to do that? Sirianna wouldn't want to, she didn't want to make Billy do it either.

"Okay," she agreed, hating it very much. Sirianna leaned up on her tiptoes so Billy could duck and they could kiss; a small kiss, soft and sweet. "Go," she said once Billy leaned back. "Come back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we'll see," Billy said. He grinned, a cocky little mask. "Chief Hopper might not want me back after today."

"I don't think Chief Hopper will remember much of today," Sirianna pointed out.

"Hope not." Billy kissed Sirianna once more, a very quick peck. "Gotta go, kitten. I'll call you tomorrow or something."

Sirianna waited until Billy left and she couldn't see his headlights anymore before she tossed her cigarette in the stream of blood-tinted water that ran down the driveway. She didn't want to go inside, part of her wished she could just go with Billy, but Harry was inside.

And where Harry went, Sirianna went.

Steve left not long after Billy did, even though Sirianna told him he could stay for the night if he wanted. Steve waved off the offer and told Harry he would call him in the morning, reminding Sirianna to ask Harry what exactly was going on between them.

El had fallen asleep on the floor beside Hopper so Sirianna carried her to bed and sent Harry off for a shower and bed before she made herself comfortable on the recliner. Someone needed to watch over Hopper while he slept and Harry already did too much, he needed rest as well.

Sirianna didn't plan on sleeping, she didn't know if she could. She laid in the chair for a long time, worrying about Harry, about Hopper, about Billy.

Everything wasn't terrible, but there was still enough awfulness that it kept Sirianna awake for a long time, her mind whirling with it all.

It was much later when Hopper stirred, waking Sirianna up. She turned in the chair and watched as he slowly woke up, his eyes opening and traveling to focus on her. Hopper blinked and there was something terribly sad in his eyes for a moment.

"I have a daughter," he said, his voice raspy and breaking. Hopper's eyes were as soft as Sirianna had ever seen them. "Her name was Sarah."

Was, he said.

Sirianna reached over to hesitantly place her hand on his shoulder after pulling the blanket up on him more securely.

"Her father is very brave," she whispered. "I'm sure she's proud of you."

Hopper closed his eyes and his face twitched in pain. It wouldn't be physical, Harry made sure of that. Sirianna hated to see someone hurting, hated knowing there was nothing she could do to take the pain of loss away.

"I didn't save Will," Hopper said. "I couldn't find him, I kept getting my ass kicked…"

"What - what was it like?" Sirianna asked, lowering her voice more to be certain that Harry and El wouldn't hear her than anything else. "The other dimension?"

"The shit of nightmares, kid." Hopper sighed heavily and then opened his eyes to look at Sirianna and he seemed so tired, so weighed down. "I don't know how I'm supposed to get the kid. I can't fight magic with fucking bullets."

No, he couldn't. Magic was impossible to understand, impossible to fight… not without magic.

"We'll think of something," Sirianna promised. What it would be, she didn't know. Harry - Harry would never go anywhere that the White Coats created or controlled and Sirianna wouldn't let him. But Sirianna wasn't Harry and she was useless without a wand, Sirianna wasn't Harry.

"Try and rest," Sirianna encouraged Hopper, keeping her hand on his shoulder. "You've had a terrible day."

Hopper closed his eyes obediently, then broke the moment between them when he muttered, "And you've got a fucking hickey on your neck."

Sirianna shrugged and settled back in the chair, tilted her head so that the side of her neck wasn't very visible. It seemed like there were much more important things than silly marks on her skin to worry about.

Harry woke up first in the morning and Sirianna forced herself awake when she heard him talking to someone…

Steve.

"… he's okay, still sleeping. Are you okay?"

There was a pause and Sirianna stretched, grinning to herself. Harry must be on the telephone. Harry was on the telephone, talking to Steve, checking in on him. It was very sweet.

"I'm not either," Harry said in response to whatever Steve said. "Er… maybe. I'll ask Siri."

Sirianna tried to walk slowly so she could hear more of Harry's conversation, but she also wanted to see him. Harry looked up as soon as she walked in the room and Sirianna couldn't wipe the smile off her face for anything. It seemed to confuse Harry, his eyebrows twitched questioningly, but she didn't care.

Sirianna had been feeling half guilty every time she did something - made a friend, went to Chrissy's house, joined the cheerleading team, made plans with Billy. Sirianna worried about Harry feeling left out, left behind. And he wasn't, Harry was doing all sorts of things in his own way.

"Okay. Bye." Harry hung the telephone on the hook on the wall and smiled at Sirianna, a quick one. "Hi," he said.

Sirianna didn't laugh, she walked around Harry to start pulling eggs and bacon and the milk from the fridge.

"Hello," Sirianna said, waiting until she had everything on the counter for breakfast before launching herself at Harry and making him hug her. Harry liked hugs from Sirianna, even though sometimes she had to hug him for a long time before he started hugging her back. When he did, when Harry's arms lifted up and wrapped back around her, Sirianna laughed.

"You buried a body!" Sirianna cried, unsure if it was more funny because of its insanity or less. "What were you thinking?!"

"That - that the boy shouldn't be left behind," Harry said. Sirianna didn't understand, not at first. Then she blinked and understanding washed over her.

"Fake Will was a boy," she said, sickened at what Harry must have realized immediately. "Oh, Harry…"

Harry buried him, he didn't let that boy sit in a morgue alone and used only for the White Coats to hide their own awfulness with. Harry…. Harry thought of that boy, Harry made sure he wasn't left behind like they were.

Harry cared more than anyone else Sirianna had ever or would ever know.

"I would have gone with you," Sirianna said. She felt like an absolute monster, how could she have been so selfishly worried about a date when Harry had been worried about a little boy needing buried?

"I didn't want you to at first." Harry squirmed out of Sirianna's hold and made himself comfortable at the kitchen table. "I wanted Steve to go."

Okay, so maybe Sirianna wasn't the only one who had been thinking about dates.

"Steve's a rather good friend, isn't he?" Sirianna asked casually. She grabbed the bacon and started laying it on until frying pan, strip by strip. "He's cute too, right?"

"He's pretty," Harry said soo easily. Sirianna grinned to herself and decided that teasing her little brother was more important than beating herself up for missing a funeral she wasn't invited to.

"I told him he's pretty."

Sirianna let out a startled laugh that she tried really hard to squash back down. That - that did seem like something Harry would do, tell a boy he fancied that he was pretty.

"He is pretty," Sirianna agreed quickly. She didn't want Harry to think she was laughing at him; Steve was pretty. "What did he say?"

"He said I'm pretty."

It was a date! That was why Harry wanted Steve to go, little brat, honestly. Sirianna went on and on about Billy and Harry didn't say a peep about his crush on Steve.

"You are pretty," Sirianna said. She looked at Harry over her shoulder for a second and tried to be objective. Even if they weren't nearly identical, Harry really was pretty. He had nice eyes and thick eyelashes, he was a bit skinny and pale - but he was pretty.

Handsome, maybe.

Harry was cute and Steve would be blind to not think so.

"Very pretty," Sirianna said decisively, turning back to breakfast. "Now tell me everything you did last night, don't leave out any details."

Because Harry stole a body, buried it, and told Steve he thought he was pretty. It sounded like a very busy night.

"We… took the boy's body from the morgue. We buried him. Then we came home."

Sirianna sighed and hoped that El, for simplicities sake, would learn from her what ‘don't leave out any details' meant, rather than Harry.

"Nevermind," she said. "Go check on Hopper, please. See if you can get him up, I'm sure he needs food after last night."

Harry was obviously much happier being given a job that didn't involve telling Sirianna all about his own evening. Sirianna focused on breakfast while she let her ears listen to Harry rousing Hopper, quietly asking him if he wanted food. Sirianna couldn't hear Hopper's response, but she did smell a cigarette being lit a few minutes later.

Sirianna finished with the eggs and bacon and had the coffee brewing that Hopper liked while she popped some of El's beloved waffles in a little toaster.

"Breakfast," she called out, planning on having everyone sit. If everyone was sitting, eating breakfast, nobody was getting hurt. If Sirianna could see everyone, they weren't being hurt.

El was first in the kitchen, sliding in on her socks and smiling at Sirianna when she saw the box of waffles on the counter. Harry was next to sit at the table, taking dishes from Sirianna as she passed them over.

Hopper took a few minutes, Sirianna and Harry had the table entirely sat when he walked heavily in the kitchen, favoring his right leg as he did.

"Medical emergency care, thanks, kid," Hopper told Harry. "You saved my ass."

Harry blinked, somehow surprised that he was a hero.

"You're welcome," Harry said quietly. He passed Hopper the plate of bacon. "Don't do it again."

Hopper scoffed and took some bacon before passing it to Sirianna. "I have to, Will's in that world. I've got to get him."

"You're going back?" Sirianna asked, frozen with the plate in her hand. "You can't, you'll die."

Hopper couldn't die, he couldn't. Harry would be devastated and El would have no place to live. Hopper couldn't trade his life for Will Byers, even if Will was innocent - so was Hopper. And Harry liked Hopper.

"I'm taking fucking fire and ammo and… fuck, a tank if I can find one," Hopper said, meeting Sirianna's eyes squarely. "What I'm not doing is leaving that kid there."

"So you'd rather die?" Sirianna asked, her voice getting more high pitched than she liked. It was so stupid though. "It's suicide!"

"SO I DIE!" Hopper yelled with a slam of his hand on the table, knocking down the plate of eggs that Sirianna made for everyone. "I AM NOT LEAVING WILL THERE!"

"THEN ENJOY DYING!" Sirianna shrieked, jumping up and scowling fiercely at Hopper. "WE'LL BE JUST FINE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD!"

El made a wretched sound, but Sirianna couldn't worry about her just then. Sirianna couldn't worry about Hopper and his stupid death wish or Harry who would be crushed or anything. Sirianna turned around and stormed from the house, not realizing until she was on the porch that she was still in her pajamas and had a plate of bacon in her hands.

People kept getting hurt, getting hurt over and over, and Sirianna wanted to protect them all. All she needed was some sort of magic umbrella, something she could open above everyone's heads to keep them safe from the White Coats, from themselves, from danger.

Maybe if Sirianna had a wand, if she had a spellbook and a way to learn everything she should have if she'd never been taken.

"Uh… bad time?"

Sirianna had been staring down at the plate of bacon, wishing it could give her the help she needed, when someone spoke up. Sirianna jumped and looked out in the yard, sighing when she saw that it was only Steve.

"Steve, hi," she said lamely. "Um… Harry's inside."

"Yeah, I figured." Steve offered a nervous smile and shuffled a few steps closer to the porch. "I wanted to come by, see if you guys were okay?"

Okay? Sirianna laughed, a thankfully short but unstable sounding laugh. It was high pitched and desperate with how very not okay they were.

"Well, let me think," Sirianna started. "Hopper nearly died last night, but Harry saved his life! Then I found out that my brother has a whole world of secrets and secret plans inside of him, secrets he doesn't share with me, ever. Even though we used to share everything, but it's all different now, right? So then, just when I thought maybe today would be totally normal, Hopper goes and decides that he's going to go back in the other dimension and he's probably going to die!"

Sirianna flung the plate she had at the end of her rant, shattering it on the sidewalk and ruining more of her own effort to do one simple thing. Her chest was heaving from making herself out of breath and she let herself breathe for a few seconds, looking down at the scattered bacon where there had been blood the night before.

"So no," she eventually said, breaking the silence quietly, "we are not okay. I am not okay."

"Right… yeah…" Steve was shaky, just as not okay as everyone else in the horrible world they lived in. "Hopper's going back then? To get Will?"

Sirianna managed a short nod, a nod that she hoped told Steve how stupid of an idea it was.

"Yeah, that sounds risky as hell," Steve agreed. Finally, someone saw some — "What else is he supposed to do though? Just let him die there? Will's just a kid, it sucks that he's going through this."

All at once, all of Sirianna's righteous anger was knocked out of her as abruptly as if Steve had struck her.

Will Byers was only a kid, no older than Sirianna and Harry had been when they were taken. Will was innocent, a boy who was taken by something evil and relentless, something he couldn't fight off by himself.

Will Byers didn't have a twin by his side for comfort or distraction, he had nobody at all… nobody except for Hopper and his determination to save him.

"When did I become this person?" Sirianna wondered aloud, blinking away the useless tears she wouldn't shed. "When did I become the person who says ‘don't rescue the innocent kid'?"

When did Sirianna become a coward? When did she stop caring about others? When did she change so much from the girl who charged down in a forbidden corridor to stop Voldemort from getting a stone that could bring him back to life?

When did she stop being able to recognize herself in her brother's reflection?

"You're worried about your family, that doesn't make you wrong." Steve stepped up to duck down in front of Sirianna, giving her quite a kind smile that she didn't deserve.

Steve was like Harry - quietly consistently considerate of others. Sirianna was selfish, worried about all the wrong things.

"I used to remember to stick up for little guys," Sirianna told him, terribly ashamed of herself. "Before - before everything happened… I used to care more."

Sirianna had prided herself on being like her mother, being someone who didn't back down from things that were awful or scary. Sirianna had been a Gryffindor, a good one.

"Well… I used to be kind of a dick." Steve took Sirianna's hand in his and squeezed it, more compassion that Sirianna should have turned away, but didn't.

"So I guess people can change," Steve told her. "But for what it's worth, I wouldn't consider you someone who doesn't care."

Sirianna did care, she cared about the little family that she had. Sirianna cared about Billy and Chrissy and Jonathan, and even Steve too. Sirianna did care, but she used to do more about it.

The front door opened and Sirianna looked over her shoulder, already sure of whose loud footsteps she heard. Hopper didn't say anything, he only leaned against the rail and lit himself a cigarette.

Hopper was brave, selflessly brave. Will Byers wasn't his child, he wasn't his responsibility. Nobody could blame Hopper if he couldn't get Will, but Hopper wasn't backing away from the challenge.

Magic and monsters beat Hopper nearly to death and he was still planning on going back and rescuing Will or dying from the effort.

Hopper was a Gryffindor.

"I'm going to say hi to Harry," Steve said. He squeezed Sirianna's hand one more time before he dropped it and jogged inside, pausing to nod politely to Hopper as he passed. Sirianna took more time to walk up to the porch, though she didn't go inside, she leaned against the rail beside Hopper and thought about all the things that the White Coats took from her.

Sirianna thought about everything she didn't want to let them keep.

"When I go back, I'm not planning on dying," Hopper said. He blew out a mouth of smoke and Sirianna watched it fly away, mixing with the air and disappearing. "If I do though, Joyce has enough information to take you guys in. I'm not leaving you all high and dry here."

Hopper managed to make Sirianna feel even more embarrassed of herself, ashamed of her cowardice.

Not for long though, because Sirianna knew what she needed to do.

"I know you won't die when you go back." Sirianna pulled herself up tall and hoped that she looked like half the woman her mother had been with her chin high and her shoulders set in determination. "Because I'm going with you."

Magic couldn't be fought with guns and fists, but it could be fought with more magic. And Sirianna might not have a wand, she might not be Harry with his power, but Sirianna wasn't useless either.

Sirianna couldn't save her brother when it counted, but she could help Hopper save Jonathan's brother.