Lily had her life perfectly together; she’s got a great internship, a loving boyfriend, a charming new apartment, and she had to say that she was incredibly happy. Not to mention, it was almost Christmas! How could anyone be unhappy during the holidays?
James was not happy. He was drunk and desperately alone. How long had it been, since he’d been on his own? His whole life he had had someone beside him: his parents, Sirius, his girlfriend. But now it was nearly Christmas and he was so, so alone. He rubbed his eyes miserably, hoping the tears wouldn’t return. Nothing seemed more pathetic than being a crying drunk. He found himself remembering last Christmas, when he and Holly had sent out Christmas cards. The front was a picture of the two of them in front of the Christmas tree, with Sirius photo-bombing in the background. They hadn’t noticed him until the cards were already printed, and James thought it was too funny to get rid of anyways. In the present day, James downed the rest of his drink, attempting to get rid of any last memories.
Lily was surprised to find a Christmas card in the mail that morning. She had already got the one from mum and dad, and Petunia’s was delivered last week – always boasting about how successful her fiancé is of course, but it was still nice to hear from her sister – and Alice had stopped sending them years ago, so she had no idea who this mysterious one could be from. The front of it was completely blank, and Lily opened it to reveal a hand-written note, scrawled in messy writing.
Hey,
I used to live in your apartment. I’m drunk in Boston, and it’s the only address I know.
Happy Holidays,
JP
There was something about the card that made Lily very sad. Maybe because this was the only address this person knew, or that they were so lonely they could only think of sending a card to a complete stranger… Lily wrote down the return address.
It was a week later and James had forgotten about the drunk Christmas card. He had been upset, thinking about Holly, and the stupid card wouldn’t get out of his head. He had no one to actually send a card to anymore; no one who would really want to hear from him. He wrote down the only address he could remember and sent the folded piece of paper without much of a second thought. He only remembered the damn thing when he got the mail that day to find an envelope with large loopy words, writing he did not recognize. The card inside was red and made with thick paper. There was a Christmas tree on the front of it, but no other pictures.
Happy Christmas!
I hope this letter finds you less drunk and less lonely. I appreciated the card, hope this brings you a little cheer. I love the apartment, never been to Boston though. I bet it is lovely there.
All the best,
LE
James stared at the card, unsure what to think. He couldn’t believe someone actually sent him a letter back. He was surprised he even remembered to write his return address properly. He tacked the card to the refrigerator and smiled for the first time in a long while.
“Happy Christmas, L.E.” He murmured.
The letter remained up on the fridge for the remainder of the year. He finally took it down in January, but couldn’t find it in himself to throw it away. Instead he stashed it in his room, and used it as a constant reminder of his resolution for the year. He was going to build his life back again.
By the next Christmas, Lily had completely forgotten about the Christmas card incident. It had been a very rough year, and Lily watched as her life burned to ashes around her. She lost the internship due to budget cuts. Her father had been diagnosed with cancer and died in July. Petunia didn’t invite Lily to her wedding. It seemed that her boyfriend was all she had left. It was then she noticed that Severus had gotten involved with some very strange people. He had gotten tangled up in some drug dealing issues, and had gotten involved with one of the local gangs. She kicked him out late in the year after getting jumped on the street, and someone putting a gun to her head.
It was Christmas time. She was alone, with no job prospects, no family, no love. The holidays were the fucking worst.
At least she had wine.
A few hours later, the last of the wine had been poured, and Lily had just finished tearily yelling at Geroge Bailey on the television set, a hazy memory floated to the surface. She stumbled to the hallway, opening the cabinet drawer on the second attempt. It was in there somewhere. Underneath a pile of mail she kept for some reason. Unopened ones addressed to Severus, that made her stomach turn even looking at them. Junk mail, magazine subscriptions, there! One unassuming Christmas card. She wasn't sure why she kept it. It had filled her with a deep sadness, an aching loneliness. But she couldn't bring herself to get rid of it. Looking at it now, she felt the hole in her chest swell, and she couldn't stop the emotions from bubbling over.
"Yes, Sirius, I'll be there! I already told you I was coming, I just got done with work and I need to freshen up before I go anywhere. I'll text you when I'm out the door, now leave me alone or else I'm going to think you're in love with me or something." There was grumbling and profanity on the other end of the line that made James laugh as he ended the call.
He stepped inside his apartment, taking his shoes off at the door and tossing his keys on the kitchen counter. He was ravenous after a long day at work, and the leftover pizza in the fridge was calling his name. He'd just have a slice, hop in the shower and be on his way out. As he reached for the refrigerator handle, he paused and admired the smiling faces looking back at him on his fridge. Sirius and Remus, with their arms slung around each other. It was dorky and sappy and out of character, but it was their first Christmas as an actual couple. James had cut them some slack and kept the teasing to a minimum, their joy infectious.
His life had changed quite a bit from last Christmas. Mainly, he had Sirius back in his life again. Remus and Peter too, of course, which was fantastic. But his fallout with Sirius had been the beginning of a long period of dark days. Sure, his parents were still gone, and his love life was pretty much non-existent, but he had reunited with his brother and things were finally looking up.
He thought about L.E. and the unexpected card, and resolved to find it and hang it back on the fridge along with his friends. They were still a total stranger to him, but it was still a shining beacon of hope that helped lead him out of darkness. He grabbed the pizza from the fridge, grabbing a bite as he fished in the kitchen junk drawer for the note. He found it next to his mail key, which served as a reminder that he hadn't checked his mail in a few days.
He cursed his ADHD as he grabbed the card and the mail key. Take a bite of pizza, pin note to fridge, get the mail he instructed himself, following through on the commands.
The mailbox was overcrowded from his absentmindedness, and he resolved to give the mail carrier a holiday tip for the inconvenience. It was only junk mail anyways, the whole lot could go in the garbage, but it was inconsiderate to let it pile up. As he went back inside to finish that cold pizza, he stopped short of tossing the whole pile away. Nestled between an advertisement for high-speed internet and an envelope of local business coupons for window installation was a hand-addressed envelope, except it was addressed to J.P.
Happy bloody Christmas.
Why does anyone say Happy Christmas anyways? Is it just to gloat about how happy their christmasses are? What's there to be all holly jolly about anyways. It's a stupid commercial holiday used to sell overpriced trinkets no buddy even needs. Like have you seen the price of christmas cards? Its fuckin nuts.
anyways
is boston nice right now? I bet its fuckin cold. still havent been there. havent been much of anyware come to think of it. fits because im not really going anywhere either
sorry. merlot makes me emotional, cab sav makes me think im a poet
its just christmastime. and im by myself. which is fine, could be worse, its a wonderful life and all. at least george bailey had a family to go home to the bastard
I don't know why I'm writing to you. I don't even know if I'll mail this.
I hope you're not drunk in boston and writing sad little letters, someone ought to have a good christmas
its a wonderful fuckin life
L.E.
The neat, looping cursive that the first card was written in was replaced by a messy looping scrawl. It was undeniably written by the same person, even if the contents were a complete 180. James sat at the kitchen island, looking back and forth from the cards dated one year apart. Was this really the same person who wished him a little good cheer previously? His chest ached to think about the kind of year L.E. must have had.
His half eaten pizza forgotten, James pulled out a pad of paper and began to write.
It's a Wonderful Life is a classic. I haven't watched it in ages, but I feel like I should look it up on Netflix sometime soon. Maybe without the Merlot and Cab Sav though, I'm a bit more of a Sav Blanc guy myself.
Boston is always pretty nice around Christmas, it is fucking cold but at least there's pretty lights. I used to like to walk through the park at night and see all the lights they put up.There's a cool tree-lighting event at the Boston Commons that I took my brother and his fiance to. If you ever make it to Mass you should check it out.
I'm sorry you're alone at Christmas. It sucks. I know. But it'll get better. Have a little good cheer from me. I know it helped me a lot last year.
You're kind of the reason I have my brother back in my life, you know? It's kind of dumb and definitely pathetic, but your card last year was the best thing that had happened to me the whole year. It's like it was a good luck charm or something.
I'm glad you sent the letter. Hopefully this can be a little bit of light in the darkness for you too.
And because I've been where you are:
If you need someone to talk to. It gets better.
J.P.
His phone rang, shocking him out of the letter he was writing. He didn't let himself question if this was a good idea or not, he remembered the place he was in last year. No matter who the person on the return address was, he could offer a bit of perspective. Someone to talk to. A chance to be a little less alone. And everyone could use that at Christmas.
"Ah shit, sorry Sirius, I got distracted. Yeah, yeah, shut up." He huffed out a laugh as he pocketed the letter, heading to the door. "Look, I'm putting my shoes on and walking out. I just have one errand to run beforehand. Fuck off, you love me! I'll be there soon. I just have to stop by the post office. Christmas cards, ‘tis the season!”
Lily sat in front of her computer screen with a blank email in front of her. She had no idea what to say. Was she supposed to pour her heart out in an email? After a beat she realizes she was basically half way there, sending drunk, probably incoherent letters to a total stranger. It couldn't hurt to just say hi? Besides, they gave her their email for a reason. And judging by the tone and content of the letter, J.P. was in a better place now than they were last year. Maybe they could offer a little perspective. At the very least, it was someone to talk to.
God, she was pretty pathetic. No one to bug in her real life, so why not vent to a total stranger on the internet. She hovered over the 'x' icon, ready to close the email and wallow in her own self-pity.
If you need someone to talk to.
She sighed. She needed someone to talk to. No matter how pathetic it was. She started typing.