Chapter 1
5 years ago
Regulus felt cold. His skin feeling tight binding him in his body, he needed to get away, he needed to run.
Regulus knew he was panicking, he could hear his breathing coming in short shallow puffs, he could hear himself choke on the tears he knew were streaming down his face.
He knows he sat down somewhere, he can't really recognize anything around him at the moment but he knows he collapsed against the side of a building still gasping to catch his breath.
“Are you sure you wanna do this? You seem pretty out of it” Regulus nods, feeling the liquor rush to his head, he feels dizzy for a moment forgetting anything but the burn as he downs more alcohol.
“All done, number 44 just as requested”
Regulus walks up to the mirror turning around and lifting his shirt he stares blankly at the number tattooed across his lower back. At least this way we’ll always be connected.
Present day .
“Reg!! You’re on in 10 lets go” Regulus looks up at evan nodding slightly “Got it, i’ll be ready in 5” Evan smiles and turns out the door leaving regulus with his thoughts once again. “Why today of all days do you decide to plague me again?” Regulus scowls at his reflection, cursing his brain for reminding him of that night and finds himself wishing he didn't have a show to do just so he could drown his sorrows. Fuck he needed a drink. Regulus closes his eyes, breathing softly, squaring his shoulders he mentally steels himself to get through tonight without any fuck ups. Don't let him win regulus. Don’t let him back in. Absent-mindedly, Regulus reaches a hand back and lets his finger tips graze his lower back, sucking in a harsh breath at the feeling of his slightly raised skin. Fuck
Regulus always loved the way he felt on stage. Call him cliche or whatever but he lived for the crowd singing along just loud enough to be able to drown out his mind. He loved the high it gave him so many people knowing him truly and taking time out to spend it here, with him, his music.
Losing all my innocence in the back seat. Say you love, say you love, say you love me.
The crowd sings the words right back to regulus making him smile slightly, he lets his hands travel up his hips as he sways them to the beat reaching his hair he runs his hands through it closing his eyes to feel the music. The crowd sings for him replacing his silence with the cacophony of voices. Regulus opens his eyes gripping back on to the mic as he looks into the crowd of people. That was his first mistake. His second was making eye contact with someone he swore to never think of again.
He freezes, stumbling slightly , and out of the corner of his eyes he can see Barty moving slightly as if to catch him. Regulus can’t speak or move; he's frozen to the spot as the crowd continues without a care in the world. Regulus stares not even blinking as he looks directly at a window into his past he so desperately tried to avoid. His older brother, and right next to him the worst and best thing that’s ever happened to him. James Potter.