Filler
Snape: Snape was working as usual in his office itnwas Christmas time which meant kids were going back home he heard a knock on the door and scoffed angrily. "Come on!" he snapped as he stopped his work and leaned back in his chair.
Me (Or Dazai): "May I come in, Professor?"
My voice calls out, and your expression immediately softens. You have suspected what goes on in my household since you met me. And you know for a fact I harm myself, Pomfrey told you so.
"Heeyyy so you know how you told me I should come to you if I wanna cut myself again? That still valid?"
You're both relieved and suspicious. Relieved because thank heavens I came to you, and suspicious because I never do.
Snape: He raises his eyebrows, suprised by your words. He stands up and crosses his arms. He knew about your mental health, and had told you to come to him if you wanted to cause harm to your self again. He hated the thought of it, but at least he would be able to stop you.
"Come in." he said, not able to hide his suspicion.
Me: I skip in and sit down. Any other child, and you would think I'm lying about it or something. But you know me. I'll never actually show when something happens. I'm like a cat, in some ways. You'll never find out what's wrong with me until it's too late.
Snape: He sits back down, watching you closely and suspiciously. He's not sure what to do. He's not sure how to approach this, as you hadn't self harmed for some time, and he knows better than to just be like. "So, do you want to cut yourself?".
"Are you wanting to cut yourself or not?" He asks eventually asked, keeping it blunt.
Me: " 'Course I am. What else would I be here for? Making cookies?"
Snape: He rolls his eyes, slightly annoyed by your attitude but stays calm. He runs a hand over his face, wondering where to start with this.
"Why do you want to cut yourself again? You've been doing well for nearly 4 months?"
Me: "Actually, I've been wanting to do it. I just don't 'cause I need my scars to heal. I don't need Mori finding them when I get home."
Oh...Oh god. Poppy told you that I generally only ever harm myself underneath my clothes. So the only way for Mori to see the scars would be to....The implication makes you sick in the stomach, and the fact that I seem so nonchalant about it makes it even worse.
Snape: He swallows hard, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness wash over him. He takes a slow breath to maintain his composer and tries to keep his voice steady.
"And why do you want to cut yourself again?" He tried to keep that calm voice as he asked, but it still broke a bit. How did he only just realise the implications of what you'd said..
Me: "Oh I don't just wanna cut myself right now."
I hold up my arm. My skin there is clean, because I don't cut there. Too inconvenient, I once told Poppy when she asked. I have naturally veiny hands.
"Just look at those veins."
I trace the vein from my wrist to elbow using my finger. Vertically.
"They're practically begging me to just make a slice right there..."
Snape: He can't hide it anymore, that sent a shiver down his spine. He can't hide his fear for your safety, and the sadness he feels.
"Don't joke, Dazai. That's not funny.." his voice is slightly broken, now. He can't look at your arm any more. He swallows hard and turns his gaze towards his desk.
Me: "But just imagine- a blade slowly slicing open those veins, as oxygen comes straight in contact with the blood that drips out steadily, creating a wonderful sting."
The sight and feeling that seems so euphoric to me, horrifies you.