anima
“Reggie!” said Sirius as his 16 year old body ran and stopped in front of Regulus. “Come on- why do you look so upset? Is something bothering you?”
Even in Regulus’ imagination, Sirius is still so caring.
“I’m fine, Sirius.” Regulus replied, forcing a smile.
Regulus was in fact, far from fine.
He made the younger looking Sirius vanish, and imagined his childhood bedroom.
Regulus wondered what Sirius would have looked like in 10 years, as an adult. But, Regulus shall never know. He doesn’t have a sense of time, time could be frozen for all he knows.
Since the Horcrux incident, he had been stuck in his own mind. He had thought it was the afterlife, and eternity in your mindscape. He couldn’t get out, no matter how hard he tried. So, since he died, he had just been imagining himself with Sirius. Sometimes, Kreacher, maybe even James, but he imagined Sirius the most often.
He still remembered how Sirius last looked like, and knew he would never forget. So, Regulus imagined that teenager-almost young adult Sirius but with the same compassion and personality as he had before Regulus was sorted into Slytherin. Well, Regulus assumes Sirius had the same personality for the majority of his life, why would his insolent little brother change it?
But surely, his love for Regulus dwindled down once he was sorted in the evil house.
Ever since then, Sirius had just left Regulus alone. Regulus would try to talk to Sirius, but it would always end the same.
“Talk to me once you change your mind.”
Changing your mind. Yes, Regulus had planned to speak to Sirius once he destroyed the Horcrux. He would never get the chance to.
Regulus had always loved his brother. Yet, he was a coward. He wouldn’t go against Voldemort, he didn’t even know what was so wrong with him in Sirius’ eyes. Regulus had told himself he would follow in Voldemort’s name, prove that it is the right thing, and become brothers with Sirius again.
He was determined to follow through since he had last spoken to Sirius.
Their last conversation had been an argument, ending with Sirius leaving Regulus. Or, as Sirius says it, Regulus choosing to stay behind.
Oh, Regulus almost hated Sirius for that.
Regulus regrets every bit of it, really. Arguing without Sirius, fighting against Sirius, and he hates knowing that Sirius was probably happy he died.
Back in the present (or whatever he is in), Regulus was crying, as one should. Really, he doesn’t remember not feeling like his eyes will burst open.
He was sitting on his childhood bed, in his room. Not a very comforting place to be in, maybe Sirius’ room would be better.
So, he rubbed his eyes and imagined himself sitting on Sirius’ childhood bed. It made him feel better, he looked around at all the muggle magazines, Gryffindor posters, and anything else that made their parents angry.
Regulus stood up and walked to a desk. On it layed a textbook and muggle photos. Somehow, Regulus remembered the contents of the desk. In one of the photos, Sirius and James had their arms slung around each other, in multiple muggle layers. Sirius was decked in blue, while James was in black and yellow. James’ hair was covered in snow, and his nose was a bit red from it, maybe from the cold.
Regulus couldn’t see Sirius that well, perhaps he just forgot what he looked like in that photo. He looked down at the textbook closed on the desk. He could make out the first and largest word, “Wolfsbane”.
Of course he remembered Sirius and his werewolf boyfriend. And, of course Regulus figured it out, just like how he had discovered Sirius was an animagus.
Back then, Regulus was simply eating alone in the kitchens, as one does, when one of the elves had started screaming. Regulus soon learned it was because a deer of some sort and a giant dog were fighting not too far from the whomping willow. Regulus had been staring in amazement as the two animals fought, when Pettigrew came running out and pointing towards the tree. He then turned into a rat. Instantly, the deer and dog stopped fighting and went inside the willow. Just a bit of common sense and Regulus could figure out what was going on.
That had also told Regulus that Remus was a werewolf. There’s a reason why Regulus remembers the Wolfsbane textbook- it was always there. Sirius isn’t good at hiding things. Regulus just had to observe one more full moon of 4 children going missing to conclude one was a werewolf. After the whole animagus deal, he knew it was Remus.
Regulus snapped out of his thoughts and brought his eyes to another photo he had oddly memorized. This photo was cracked. It had Sirius, James, and Regulus, all from when they were around 11. Sirius was on the left, holding the camera. James was in the middle, grinning brightly and squinting since the sun was in his eyes. Regulus had surprisingly smiled too, face flushed because James was squeezing him.
Regulus reimagined the picture so it wasn’t cracked, not as if it made him feel any better.
Then, a knock sounded.
Regulus immediately turned towards the door, still closed. Regulus was bewildered. He swears that he hadn't imagined a door or a knock or-
Another knock.
Regulus practically sprinted towards the door and yanked it open. He stumbled backwards when he saw who was waiting.
Not anyone he recognised, for sure. It was a tall woman, taller than Regulus, she had long, white hair that laid across the ground like a veil. She was wearing a gorgeous tight orange dress that matched her highlights. Her eyes were completely black.
“Hello.” she said warmly, and smiled.
Regulus froze. He did not imagine her, he knew of it.
She looked amused at Regulus, and she chuckled.
“I am sure you have a lot of questions. Let me answer the most basic ones: My name is Deus Vitae, but you just call me Vitae. Hm, you aren’t imagining me, and you can’t get rid of me.”
Regulus tried to speak, but couldn’t get any words out.
Vitae smiled softly once more, and slowly walked towards the bed to sit down. “I know it has been a long seventeen years, but I kept you here for a reason.”
Regulus stopped gaping and fell. “Seven- what?!?” he gasped.
She reached her arm towards him to help him up. “Seventeen years. Might not have felt like it, maybe it felt like much less or much more...” she pulled Regulus up with ease. “I really am sorry, I will be honest I had just forgotten about you.”
“I- you forgot? You were supposed to..” He cleared his throat. “Isn’t this the afterlife?”
“No dear,” Vitae said in a motherly tone that Regulus had never heard in his life until now. “When people die, they may or may not be transported into their own mindscape. That is, if they have a soul left of course. If one does get transported into their own mindscape, it is because their life isn’t fulfilling enough.”
Regulus stared at her, wondering if she really expected him to understand all of this.
“What I mean is, you deserve more. My mistake was never telling you. It has been busy lately, with these prophecies…” she trailed off. “I should have talked to you. It must have been horrible all these years, I don’t think I have had people wait this long.”
Regulus gulped. “So.. what is there to talk about?”
She smiled and patted the bed, signaling Regulus to sit, and so he did,
“You see, you have had a hard life. Struggling with the people you love, not knowing what to believe in.. I was disappointed when you died, really. You had a lot of potential. Though, I knew that hope was not lost yet. I let you stay in your mindscape for a year so I could figure out what to do. Unfortunately, that was when prophecies surrounding the chosen one became relevant, so I was busy.
“Then, I learned about this kid named Draco Malfoy. He is the son of Narcissa Black, whom I am sure you know. I immediately foresaw his life turning a drastic and horrifying route. I saw multiple ways he would have died, which can still happen! He seems to be in much more danger this year, and for his whole life I was wondering if there was a way I could help him.
“I am a Goddess, but I really can’t change things directly. That’s when I remembered you!” her eyes glistened, and Regulus narrowed his eyes in confusion.
“I am sure you know the most about the subject he is dealing with. Which I won’t tell as it is best for you to talk to him on your own.”
“On my own?” he asked quietly, struggling to understand anything.
“Indeed.” she replied simply, and Regulus tried to gather his thoughts.
Seventeen years, mindscape, prophecies, Narcissa’s son?! Regulus was sure he was going insane. For safe measures, he imagined Vitae disappearing, which did nothing but grant a soft chuckle from her.
“How?” he finally said.
“Almost forgot that part! Well, I will warp your soul into his mind- but not like a mindscape. Just his brain and nerves. So, you will have a body, in his eyes, and be able to interact with him, but only him because we aren’t messing with anyone else’s mind at the moment.”
Regulus stared at her expectantly. When she didn’t continue, he sighed. “So, what am I doing? And I am still terribly confused on what that means.”
She chuckled. “Well, think of it this way: I am practically turning you into a ghost. Except, you won't be all ghastly, you will have a normal body, but only Draco can interact with you, see you, etcetera. Your job, actually don’t call it that- The main reason for this is so you can change his mind. He is quite depressed really, and stubborn, but most importantly in danger. I don’t want to tell you too much about him, I want him to tell you himself, or else he might see you as a counselor and those are never good.” she said, and chuckled to herself.
Regulus wasn’t too sure what a counselor really did, but that wasn’t the takeaway from the conversation. No, it was the fact he would be a ghost? For the Malfoy kid? Over the apparently seventeen years that Regulus stayed in the mindscape, he had thought of what he would’ve done if he had more time. His mental list included listening to Sirius about all the blood purity nonsense, being brave enough to tell James his feelings, and telling Sirius he loves him. His last time saying that had to have been before they went to Hogwarts.
Except, if he is just an image just for Draco to see…
“So, I can’t talk to anyone else?” he asked quietly.
If her pure black eyes made it possible to show pity, they did. “No, it is rather unfortunate. Draco will be the only one who can hear you.” Regulus couldn’t really describe it, but he felt as if Vitae was trying to hide something.
She cleared her throat. “Well, it’s best you're off now.”
Regulus’ eyes widened. “Already?!”
“Of course, Voldemort is angry at his father, and he punishes Draco for it. Who knows, he may be punished again soon.”
Regulus needed more time to think this through. No, he knew he would do it- rather than staying in his own mind any longer- but he still needed time to process everything. It all happened too fast.
“Ah, one thing.” said Regulus, trying to keep cool. “What happens if I fail?”
“Well, if you fail for a reasonable reason then really nothing. I’ll just bring you back here I guess. If you fail because you were ignorant, then that’s a problem.”
Regulus nodded, and he tried to think. He had to help Draco, why shouldn’t he? But, perhaps on the way, or after, he can do some of his own bidding.
So, he tried to compose a (short) list of priorities.
#1 goal, save Draco from the same fate Regulus went through.
#2 goal, talk to Sirius.
Of course, he can’t talk to Sirius, but the Draco kid surely can. Regulus will figure it out, somehow.
“You ready? I know it is a lot, but you will be fine.” she said calmly.
Regulus sighed, and nodded. Vitae held her hand out, and after a few moments of not knowing what to do, she grabbed for his hand.
Vitae mumbled a few words under her breath, and then closed her eyes. “Angelus datus est mundo ut errores suos hodie corrigeret. Hoc est officium, sed non promissio. Hoc est officium, sed non promissio. Hoc est officium, sed non promissio.”
Suddenly, Regulus’ sight went dark, and his entire body felt weak and limp. That was an improvement though, because he doesn’t remember when he could last feel his body.
Then, he found himself in a teenager's bedroom.