They went for dinner that night.
James knew he was getting broken up with, it was impossible not to! Regina had been... distant. Something was happening to her, she was hiding a secret, a big one. James tried to ask what but she always dodged the question. Maybe she was cheating on him, or maybe she murdered someone... Oh! Maybe she was going back to France! It would be terrible, but it's a possibility. James was open to forgiving and trying to make them work, but he wasn't sure his girlfriend thought the same. In fact, he knew she didn't.
It all started when they came back from summer, over than 3 weeks ago. Almost a month. James noticed immediately, since the moment she greeted him on the train;
"Hey Jamie", She said, but her smile was too big, her eyes too cloudy and her lips bitten, a clear sign of anxiety.
"Hey baby, how was your summer?", He replied, expecting her to tell what's disturbing her.
"Not much", She stated, but her gaze didn't met his.
"Are you sure?", He whispered, worried "Did something happen, Regina?"
That was not the right thing to say, apparently. At the same time he called her name, her smile faded into a frown. Her look turned into stone, a mask that she never used with James. That's when he knew.
After that moment, everything went south. She was "busy" more nights than not and when she wasn't they would talk for some minutes before she turned to sleep without even saying goodnight (she didn't know James knew she was pretending to). She would ignore him in the corridors, always with that Barty friend of hers (who is also her ex, but James was trying not to think about it) and Sirius , which is good, maybe Sirius would convince her not to break up with him (Unlikely, Sirius didn't liked to meddle and Regina didn't like changing her mind).
Is not only the way she's acting, though, Regina is dressing differently. Using sweaters and always wearing a bun instead of letting her long curls fall free, like she used to love to. Maybe she's depressed and cutting herself... but James saw her arms and thighs, so it couldn't be it. She was also acting really insecure... Whatever it is, he'll find out tonight, at dinner, after three days without talking to each other.
He doesn't know what to wear. What should a person who knows is getting broken up with wear? Should he go handsome or depressed? Charming or sexy? 'Please don't leave me, I'm just a man in love' or 'I don't really care about anything, including you'? Should he just go as him? Or dressed in the same way he was on their first date, so she remembers that they were happy once and don't break up with him? So many options.
Maybe she's not breaking up with him, maybe she's planning to tell him what's wrong!? 'That's unlikely and you know it, Potter. Face it like a grown man' one part of him says, while the other (and predominant part) cries and replies 'She used to call me Potter. We were happy! Didn't I make her happy? I tried, Merlin knows I tried' 'Stop feeling sorry, she's the one losing someone incredible' 'I'm the one losing someone incredible! She's perfect for me, why is she doing this? Where did I mistake? We were happy!' 'Here we go again... Stop being such a-'
"Prongs? Why are you crying?" Sirius appeared at the doorstep, interrupting his thoughts. Wait, crying? Is James crying? He brings his hand to his face, noticing that he was indeed almost filing up a river with his tears and that just triggers him to start sobbing.
"I just-", James starts sobbing violently and Sirius widen his eyes before wrapping his arms around his best friend, waiting for the moment he's ready to speak. "She's breaking up with me, isn't she?" He asked, already knowing the answer.
"What?" Sirius looked flabbergasted "No! He- Reggie loves you. Why'd you think that?" He looks guilty, for an unknown reason "If anything, you're the one who's asking to break up", He tries to joke, but James just widen his teary eyes.
"Why? What did she do? Is she cheating on me? I can forgive her, whatever it is we'll work it out".
"First of all, don't call Reggie by that", Sirius replies, looking disgusted.
"What do you mean?"
"Forget it, James. Just- Just get ready, Reggie must be waiting for you", That brings James to spiral again.
"What do I wear?" He whines, almost collapsing.
"I'll help you with that, come on", Sirius starts picking out clothes, putting some in an organized pile and just tossing the others onto the floor while making disgusted sounds. He gets to a decision eventually, which is some muggle clothesJames didn't even remember he owned. Jeans pants, red sweater and red converse, along with some jewelry. It turns out nice, so he's not complaining. "My job is done here and my sibling is waiting for you. Bye, Prongs and good luck, babe!"He sing songs as he pushes James out of their dorm. He walks towards the exit of the common room and for his surprise, Regina was waiting for him.
She was also wearing muggle clothes - Sirius's muggle clothes. Why was she wearing boy's clothes? Why Sirius didn't use pronouns when talking about her? Why did he correct James when he did?
"Hey Potter", She placed her hands inside her pockets. Back to Potter then.
"Hey Reg", Playing safe. No pronouns "Thought we were meeting at the Three Broomsticks", It comes out as a question.
"Change of lans. I wanted to talk to you first", Fucking finally!
"What's up baby?"
"I don't know if you'll want to call me baby after this", She jokes to herself, sudden tears forming in her eyes.
"Whatever it happened, we can work it out like we always do", James tried calming her, but it just made the first tear fall down. "Reg, what's wrong? Talk to me"
"I want to tell you, I do! It's just- I don't know how you'll react, I don't know how to tell you", She starts crying silently, tear after tear running down her face and James realize they need to go somewhere private.
"Let's go to my dorm, alright? And you can tell me whatever it is when we get there. It will be more private, He grabs her hand, pushing gently, but she doesn't move.
"If I move, I won't be able to tell you. I won't have the courage"
"You always hated attention, baby. People are staring", Regina take a look around, seeing the students whispering, pointing fingers and looking attentively. It's not a common occurrence to see a Black sibling crying. She wipes her tears, walks inside the common room and towards the dorm.
"Sirius. Out", James tells him at the moment they step into the dorm. Sirius immediately startles when seeing his sibling bursting in tears.
"Reggie? What happened?" Sirius goes at his sibling's direction, but she dodges and just reply.
"Sirius, I can't take it anymore. I'm telling him. Can you leave us alone? Please?" Regina never said please. Something's terribly wrong.
James doesn't even notice the moment his best friend leaves the room, the word 'Please' on repeat in his thoughts.
"James?" His girlfriend touches his arm, bringing him back to reality.
"Hey, baby. Ready to tell me what's wrong?" He tries to be gentle, but he could feel his relationship demolishing around him.
Reg takes a deep breath "The reason why I didn't tell you anything earlier I love you and I'm afraid to lose, not only you, but this feeling. You are my first love and if everything goes wrong, I'll lose my respect for you. I'll hate you", She warn "And by 'goes wrong' I don't mean our break up. I believe that's inevitable", James knew they were breaking up, but shoving it on his face just feels cruel "I mean if you don't respect me for who I am, because I've been pretending and I don't want to anymore. I love you, and I want to be myself with you. Even if we're not together, I don't want to hide this from the love of my life, and I believe you deserve an explanation", She quickly wipes the single tear running down her face. She was trying to look tough and James was trying to figure out why would she break up with the love of her life, like she said.
"You're scaring me, but I promise I would never disrespect you. Just tell me what's happening, please", He takes a deep breath "Are you cheating on me?"
"What? Why would you think that? I just told you you're the love of my life!"
"What should I think? We don't talk anymore, Regina! You are always walking with your ex, you don't even look at me! Since summer you've been acting distant and- and strange! Look at your clothes! You never liked sharing and now you just use Sirius or Barty's clothes, and speaking of Sirius, he just told me off when I used she/her pronouns when referring to you so, please, just tell me what's going on and stop going around the subject!" He screams.
"James... I think you already know", His partner sighs.
"I want you to tell me", He pleads and the other sighs.
"I'm trans, Potter. I'm transgender, I'm a boy, my name's Regulus not Regina and I use he/him pronouns. Now, as I said, I understand if you don't want to be my boyfriend anymore, but please respect this. Please respect me"
"Stop talking, please. I don't- I want to get to know you, Regulus", The name fits perfectly in his tongue and he smiles with the knowledge "Since when did you know?"
"I always kind of knew, but I just tried to understand it during summer", He tells, and Regulus feels free, more than in weeks. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and it truly had.
"And what are you planning on doing? Did you tell your parents? You can't keep hiding, Regulus", Regulus. Regulus, Regulus, Regulus.
"I have to, though. I don't have a place to go, to be myself"
"Of course you do! Come live with me, my family loves you. And Sirius being there it's just a bonus"
"They love Regina"
"They'll love you too", James tries to convince her.
"How do you know?" He huffs, before whispering to himself "Not even you do anymore"
James listened, and he sighed before answering;
"What did you just say?"
"How would you feel, Potter? How would you feel if I started living with you? You obviously don't want to be with me anymore"
"Who said that?" James cries "I love you, Regulus. I don't care if you're a boy, a girl, something or nothing in between. It doesn't erase our moments together and it sure doesn't erase my feelings for you"
"So you're not breaking up with me?" Tears meets his eyes again.
"Of course not, baby", James smiles "Come here", He opens his arms and his boyfriend runs into it, burying his face on his shoulder and starting to cry almost immediately "I love you, Regulus. I won't ever, ever leave you. We are forever. I love you so, so much"
"Fuck, Jamie, don't ever do this again! I was so scared", He sobbed "I thought I was going to lose you and you would get together with Lily and have a child and-"
"I thought you were cheating on me with Barty and Sirius was covering for you", He laughs "Never felt so glad of being wrong"
"I know the feeling. I didn't talk much to you because it would hurt more when I lost you... I was trying to get used to the feeling of being away", He confesses and James was speechless.
"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't tell me, Regulus. You can tell me anything and if you want I can give you some of my clothes or buy you new ones-", His boyfriend interrupts him.
"Jamie you don't have to, Barty's already helping me with this", James tries to hide his jealousy, not very well "Because we have the same measurements!" he explains and laughs at his boyfriend's expression.
"Sure, do whatever you want Regulus"
"I know you're being supportive and I love that, but every time you say 'Regulus' I feel like you're angry with me", He jokes, but not entirely.
"Oh, baby", He laughs, throwing his head back "I love you, He whispers, before kissing Regulus for the first time and he kisses back murmuring "I love you, too". They kiss a couple more times before James interrupts "Does this means you're living with me?"
Regulus chuckle "Yeah. Yeah, I'm living with you. Now, dinner?"
James nods "And you can tell me all about you, Regulus, baby"