Entranced

She did very little to hide the shock on her face. Clearly she caught your slip up - admitting you cared about someone in Zaun was a horrible idea 90% of the time, immediately putting a target on their back for any potential enemies or anyone who wants to send a message. Despite this, caring for someone openly was a strength like no other in your eyes. Openly admitting you care is also openly threatening anyone who might want to harm them, a you fuck with her you fuck with me type of deal. You’d shown this for Jinx by standing up to Sevika, and you’d shown this for Sevika by helping save her life. Guess it’s time you accept that you have too big of a heart for Zaun, rather than deal with any potential ridicule or rejection from her, you speak quickly to make sure you get the next words out.

“Look, clearly this is one-sided … respect” yeah, strictly respect. “Zaun needs you, Silco needs you, I know my role ok?” her lips part, clearly wanting to interject but you wouldn’t allow it. “I did what was needed for everyone, no one would be better off if you’d died so ….” You shut your mouth at that. You didn’t know where you were going, every word seemed to expose your feelings more and more but you couldn’t seem to stop, physically silencing yourself was the only way to preserve any sense of dignity. The pause left plenty of time for her to read inbetween the lines, you hadn’t said anything indicating this but she saw right through you. “And what? You seriously think people would be better off if you had died?” the words left her mouth before she could catch herself, she’d meant to find a slightly better way to say this. She saw your eyes betray your stone cold expression, watching intently to see if there was any chance she was wrong. But as usual, she was right on the money.

“Shut the fuck up Sevika” and on that note you decided this was the end of the conversation. Fearing she might actually kill you for that comment, you abruptly stood up, tears threatening to spill but you’d be damned if you gave her anything else to use against you. Yes you cared, yes you had a heart, but you were smart enough to know better than to expect kindness from others. A metal hand shot out before you could walk away, gripping your wrist tight enough to keep you there but she made sure to not hurt you. You both stood there, waiting for the other to make the first move. She decided to break the silence, her voice barely above a whisper though. “Talk to me” You turned to meet her steel grey eyes, wishing you were looking into them under different circumstances. You could get lost in them if you stared any longer, to prevent this you went to pull your eyes away but the grip tightened, keeping your gaze focused on here. She didn’t plead for anything, for anyone, but this was the closest she’d come. You took a sharp inhale, letting the cold air of the undercity fill your lungs before you found the confidence to speak. “What do you want me to say Sevika?” “Tell me you don’t think we would be better with you dead” You dropped your gaze, a loose smile appearing as the tears began to fill your eyes again. “I didn’t say that Sevika. I know my place in this fight, I know my role. This will continue just fine with or without me”

Another pause took over. “You didn’t tell me what I asked” Her voice was far softer than usual, almost kind. “Sevika …. it’s fine” You weren’t sure what to say, there was nothing you could say to take back your words. You weren’t going to do anything but come on? She of all people couldn’t convince you the cause needed you. Sure the extra manpower you provided was appreciated, and there were tasks that you could do somewhat better than others, but you knew you were replaceable. Her next words eased the discomfort of the conversation, giving you hope for a potential friendship after this encounter. “Look-” She took a deep breath, grounding herself in this moment “-can we start over?”