Chapter 5
Hermione stared at the piles of books in front of her. Thirteen different rare Occlumency and Legimency books quantified “a few”. Hermione sat with her tea warming, a roll of digestives half consumed, and snoring Crookshanks in her lap. Crookshanks preferred to be outside most nights but he unerringly knew when she was upset.
This one said empty your mind, this one said fill it with nonsense. The one she like the most was almost a journal. She was positive a witch wrote it, as it had mentioned the effects of child birth on ones occlumency “shield”. The author used occlumency to benefit the organization of the household. It wasn’t even a guide as much as a matter of fact memoir of what worked for the witch and gave her musings on why others methods didn’t.
As the days were passing, she felt more comfortable with Draco. She rubbed her mark.
Granger. Did you need anything? He felt cautious to her. Like he was intruding.
No. I was just thinking about you. The smugness coming through was a bit much.
Granger, love, do you miss me? I'll walk to the castle. She felt through the bond and realized he was working, she began to pull away not meaning to intrude. It doesn't matter. I can still talk to you.
Do you think I'm ready for the occlumency lessons?
He sighed. I don't know if anyone can be ready but I think it's time to start. She had began to reread the journal before yawning. You should get some rest, love. We'll start tomorrow and it'll be harder if you are tired.
Impulsively, Hermione brought her arm up to look at the her mark. She hesitated for a moment before lightly kissing Eltanin.
She immediately felt Draco's feeling change to wonder and ... arousal. Granger. His voice was low with warning. Hermione felt the smile grow on her face.
Goodnight Draco. She fell asleep basking in the warmth of the bond.
**
Hermione sat next to Draco on her grey loveseat feeling oddly nervous. “Legimens,” he quietly whispered.
Images of her morning surfaced. Her at her desk looking looking at students papers.
“Concentrate, Granger. Kick me out” She shoved but he held on. Harry sat in the tent writhing with pain. Blood was everywhere.
“NO!” It flashed to her erasing herself from photos in her mum and dads house. He was finding her worst memories. She buried it a images of Hampstead Heath. Her strolling along at sunrise on a clear day.
"Excellent. I know it's uncomfortable but you are doing great." She felt their bond open and basked in his warm glow.
Draco was illuminated by the glowing ivy flowers. Draco paused and watched her watch him. She groaned as his grin turned to a smirk. To her embarrassment his smirk brought forth the memory of her in her bed in the middle of the night, moaning his name. Hermione was mortified she pushed again. "Do you like my smile, Granger?" She didn't answer.
Hermione flushed in embarrassment. "Let's continue."
Her crying while reading Ron’s letters. Draco's face was frozen, and she felt his anger stirring. "I'm alright," she cajoled. He held her hand, and she entwined their fingers. He pressed a quick kiss to her head.
She brought up a happy memory. Christmas at the Weasley's nothing strange. She was sitting between Ginny and Ron, and her memory was her smiling. Ron downed several fingers of fire-whiskey. She realized too late what the memory was, and her effort to shift the memory was weak. She watched Ron's hand gripped her thigh tightly. She remembered the smell of his breath near her ear. "You're mine, 'Mione. Mine-y." She shoved Draco out of her head.
“What the fuck!” Draco exploded. Their bond sending his anger coursing through her blood.
“Let’s stop!”
Draco missed her panic in her face. “Legimens!”
CRACK. She didn’t feel the side in her cheek, although she remembered it. She watched as Ron stood above her body crying. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry 'Mione. I didn’t mean it. I won’t do it again.”
She felt rage, realizing it was coming from Draco. She hadn’t felt his emotions since their lunch date. “He hit you?” His voice was too calm, for the fire of rage she felt from him.
She held up her palms to him. “Just twice! He hasn’t done it again.”
“TWICE?” He was panting as he stood to leave. “He’ll never touch you again.”
“No! Just let it go.”
“I’m not letting it go. He hit you! Why are you defending him? What has you so broken inside that you care about your abuser?”
She froze. Draco looked on in horror at the face matching his new worst memory. “Draco just stop. We should just stop for today.” She was looking down at the ground.
She felt Draco’s rage shift to horror and shame.
Draco felt the bile rising in his throat. He felt how violated she felt. He apparated away.
Hermione was alone. Please come back. I don't want to be alone right now.
He returned imidiately. "I should've stopped when you asked." He was looking green.
"Yes, you should have." His shame was overpowering. "Look, Draco, we both messed up."
"No, only I did, darling." She grabbed his hand. She had hoped having a soul mate would mean he'd be perfect. Omniscient. Never hurting her, in tune with her needs better than she was herself. In a moment she realized how immature that thought was. He was Draco Malfoy one of her childhood bullys, a flawed individual.
"How can I help? What can I do?" He asked. She sensed he was not looking for her forgiveness because he wouldn't forgive himself.
"Hold me?" She began to sofetly cry.
"Forever."