Soul Love

~BARTY~

Barty Crouch Junior prides himself in his ability to exist as two people at once. He has two lives, and he does a very good job at keeping them separate. Just yesterday, at his parent's house, he had been scared, quiet and isolated. In the last few hours, however, he had reunited with his favourite people, made out with his boyfriend, threatened to drown seven first years in the lake, and the feast was only about three quarters done. Spirits were so high, the traditionally served pumpkin juice might as well have been wine. Barty was about to comment on this when Dumbledore’s magically amplified voice rang across the room, effectively silencing the whole room in seconds.

“Welcome to another year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. To our first years- I cannot wait to embark on this new and exciting journey with you, you have much greatness ahead of you, and the brightest of futures. And to everyone else- I do hope this year will be just as knowledge and education filled as last-”

Evan leaned over to whisper in his ear, “More like party and shagging filled.” Barty snickered.

“Booze and smoking filled,” he added.

“Quidditch and quarrelling.”

“Dancing and debauchery.”

Dorcas sighed, “You two and shutting the fuck up.”

“That is a good one,” Regulus agreed.

“Fine,” Evan shrugged, then grabbed Barty by the shirt and started aggressively snogging him. A loud bang came from just across the table shortly before Barty felt his face hit by something cold and wet he suspected to be lettuce, and recoiled at the sensation. He looked to the direction of the attack to see Pandora glaring at him.

“Really?” She complained, “In front of my salad?” she turned to Dorcas and Regulus, who had resigned looks on their faces.

“We practically asked for that, didn’t we?” Regulus said.

“You absolutely did.”

In the second of silence that followed, Barty realised that Dumbledore was, in fact, still speaking. He was about to tune the boring bastard back out again, but his interest, as was evidently the rest of the school population’s, judging by the sudden decrease of general noise in the hall, was piqued by a deviation from the usual speech.

“I now have a very special announcement, one that may very well change your lives,” dramatic pause. “We have been working on this collaboration behind the scenes for quite some time, and I, along with my colleagues, are incredibly excited to announce Hogwarts’ very first battle of the bands! You will have the chance to form a band along with your schoolmates and perform in various concerts throughout the year!”

The hall erupted into immediate chatter, whoops, general noises of excitement and suchlike. Barty looked around excitedly, a battle of the bands. As in, he could be in a band. He could be in a band and a competition at the same time. Christmas must have come early.

“Quiet!” Boomed Dumbledore, “You will have the chance to discuss later. This battle is being organised by a band of our very own highly talented Hogwarts graduates. A quartet of witches who have recently risen to unbelievable heights of fame. Can you guess who? Let me help. Two sisters from a wealthy family and their best friends. The first punk rock band of the wizarding world. The first female group to be so popular and well regarded in the wizarding world.”

Barty vaguely noticed Regulus tensing slightly beside him, drawing in a sharp breath. But he was too excited to really pay mind. He’d ask about it later.

“I’m sure you already know the lovely ladies I am speaking of, they are of course, the famous Black Perfume! May I introduce Bellatrix Black, Narcissa Black, Rita Skeeter, and Alice Fortescue!”

If the hall was loud before, now it was deafening as the four women appeared from a door behind the staff table, dressed in all black and looking every bit the punk rock personas they put into the world. Of course, Barty did not live under a rock, he knew them and had heard their music. Sure he’d never personally been a huge fan, but it was still an honour to even be in the presence of such fame. Regulus had told him stories of his cousins before though, ones that both added up and did not add up at all with their stage personas. Stories of cruelty and pain, but also of comfort, learning and a much needed adult (ish) presence in his childhood that wasn't actively trying to hurt him. Shit, Regulus.

Barty whirled around to face Regulus, who was frozen, unblinking. Barty thought for a second that he looked like a very well done taxidermy but withheld comment. “Hey Reg?” Barty asked, nudging him, “Regulus? Regulus!” Finally, Regulus blinked and shook his head, looking at Barty, or more accurately at some point past his shoulder, “Reg, are you okay?”

“Mhm.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well, you should.”

“I mean, those are your cousins up there. Your cousins who, as I gather, you have a complicated relationship with.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m here if you need it, though, right?”

“Yeah.”

Okay. So Regulus didn’t want to talk. That was fine. He had those moods sometimes. Still, Barty couldn’t help but feel a little put out at his rejection. His gaze drifted over to the Gryffindor table, where the other Black brother seemed to be having the same reaction. It was in moments like these when it really struck Barty how similar the two of them were. Their differences seemed insignificant. But then a switch seemingly flicked in Sirius’ head, because within a moment he was back to smiling, joking and animatedly telling anecdotes, and the resemblance was gone. Barty shook his head.

“So,” said Pandora, “Are we making a band or what?”

“We absolutely are, Panda,” said Regulus. The half dead look didn't pass Barty's notice. When Sirius becomes social and happy when trying to hide himself, Regulus becomes unreadable and emotionless. But at least Pandora had gotten him to contribute to a conversation. 

“Hell yeah!” Barty celebrated, also hiding his thoughts, “And we'll crush the hell out of the Gryffindors… and everyone else too.”

“Do any of you actually know how to play an instrument?” Dorcas asked sceptically.

“I don't know, Dorcas,” Evan started, “do you?” 

“As a matter of fact, I do,” she said matter-of-factly, “I happen to have taken bass lessons until I was thirteen. I may not be perfect but I'm probably better than whatever you have to offer.”

“Wait, you play bass? How the actual fuck did I not know this?” Evan asked incredulously.

“Er, let me see, because you were too busy being a dick to notice. How did you not know? We literally grew up together!”

“You're very secretive, I don't know!” he turned to Pandora, “Did you know?”

“Yes. I assumed you did too. Idiot.”

“Okay, as amusing as this is, how about we all calm down and discuss,” Regulus interjected, “Yes, Dorcas plays bass, that's amazing, let's move on. Barty,” he gestured to Barty to share.

“Um, shit, I mean I did technically take a guitar course this summer, I know a thing or two, but I'm really shit at it, honestly.” He didn't add that the reason he was shit was that he didn't have any time to practise, due to the fact that he was doing the course behind his father's back and, though he could sneak out to go to lessons, couldn't sneak the guitar home to practice on his own time.

“Can you play barre chords?” Regulus asked.

“Erm, yeah?” 

“Perfect, you're our guitar player.”

“Wait, wait, since when are you the manager of our hypothetical band?” Evan complained.

Regulus raised an eyebrow, “How many instruments do you play?”

“None, yet.”

“And I play six, suck it.”

“Your family is fucking insane, mate,” Barty laughed.

“Three of them I taught myself.”

“My point stands.”

“Panda,” Regulus said, pointedly ignoring Barty, “You know a little piano, yes?”

“Like four chords and chopsticks,” she sighed.

“Good enough. I'll teach you the rest, you're on keyboard.”

“Okay, slow down,” Dorcas said, raising a hand like a shield, “This is all very well, but where are we actually going to get all this from? I can just ask my mum to send my bass over but I doubt your psycho family would do you such a courtesy.”

Regulus paused, “I don't actually… know, but surely we'll think of something. How hard can it be to get a few basic instruments around here? The place is magic.”

“Wait, hang on, we moved to another subject because Dorcas wanted to be reasonable,” Evan shot her a glare, “What do I get to play?”

Barty seized the opportunity, “I'll teach you guitar, we can be matching,” he said, while snaking an arm around Evan's waist.

“Ooh, that sounds nice. Can we do matching concert outfits too?”

“Of course, whatever you want.”

“In that case, I want to go to the party tonight, find a nice corner and suck your-”

“Oh, get a room!” Dorcas exclaimed, “Some of us here have dignity.”

“Do any of you know where the party even is this year?” Barty asked. It was an (extremely popular and much awaited) Hogwarts tradition that every year on the first day of school a party was held for the entire school population someplace in the castle. It was a way of staying connected and spending time together before the actual start of term. Sometimes it was held in one of the common rooms (which theoretically were meant to be kept secret but everyone knew anyway), last year it had been outside, by the lake, and it hadn't ended fantastically, partially because of Barty, but he denied it whenever anyone asked.

“No, but I can ask around,” Dorcas said.

“And by ‘ask around’ do you mean those Gryffindor girls you were hanging out with?” Evan smiled.

Dorcas looked down, “They have connections,” she protested, not even trying to deny it, “It's not like you know anyone other than us, you loser.”

“You're abandoning us!” Barty cried, “We'll see you walking around with a Gryffindor tie soon if we're not careful!”

“Trust me, you will not. I'm going to go and get ready for the party,” she said, getting up from the table. Barty hadn't noticed that a large proportion of the hall had already left.

“You'll tell us where it is if you find out?” Evan called after her.

“If you ask politely,” she said over her shoulder before strutting off.

~REGULUS~

They didn't have to ask, even impolitely, as became evident as Regulus, Barty, and Evan were getting ready in their dorm, because, mid-conversation (semi-argument) came loud, incessant banging from their door, followed by, “I KNOW WHERE THE PARTY IS, LET ME IN.” The three of them exchanged looks, “LET ME IN OR SO HELP ME MERLIN.”

Barty snickered and after a seconds contemplation and a few more angry knocks, Regulus walked over to open the door for her.

“If one of you is naked I'm going to kill you and then myself,” Dorcas warned as she walked in, eyes averted. Barty hurriedly put on the nearest shirt, which happened to be Evans, causing Evan to glare at him menacingly. The two of them had been arguing about stealing clothes just moments ago.

“Fucking hypocrite,” Evan mouthed, causing Barty to flip him off in reply.

“Hello, Dorcas,” Regulus said politely, “You said you know where the party is?” 

“I sure fucking do. Listen, it's good this year.” She sat down on the carpet and beckoned for the others to sit down as well. “Pandora already knows, she's still busy getting ready,” she said, answering Regulus's questioning look.

“So,” said Evan, “Where is it?”

Dorcas scoffed, “Like I'm just going to tell you like that.”

“You clearly told Pandora!” he complained.

“Well, Pandora isn't a massive dick, so,”

“Okay, so if you're not going to tell us, then why are you here?” Barty questioned.

“No, I'm going to tell you, but I just wanted to fuck with you a little first.”

Regulus could practically see Barty holding back innuendo.

“It's complicated this year. Apparently it's never been held here before. So, listen up. On the seventh floor, there's a tapestry. Barnabas and Barmy teaching trolls ballet or something, the door to the right of it is a broom closet.” Barty opened his mouth to say something, “No Barty, the party is not an orgy in a broom closet. It has a false back. There’s a door and behind it is a massive fucking ballroom, apparently.”

“Holy shit,” Barty exclaimed. Regulus couldn't really believe it himself. He admired whatever psychos had the time and patience to find something so well hidden. He wondered if any previous Hogwarts students had ever found it, or if they were the first.

The door, which was still left slightly ajar, creaked a little, and Regulus looked up to see Pandora poking her head in. “Hey, “ she said softly, “Party's already started, apparently. We should get going.” She opened the door fully and she came into view. Regulus could see why she had taken so long getting ready. She looked like a fairy. She wore a long flowy dress, which moved like it was underwater, and had piled her white braids into two buns. Also, she was wearing probably five pounds of jewellery altogether. She looked lovely.

Dorcas shoved Barty and Evan into Regulus and out the door. Regulus had to frantically grab onto the railing to refrain from falling down the stairs, because, of course, it was just his luck that his dorm was the only one directly in front of the staircase. That had to be against some safety regulation, if Hogwarts even had any.

“Fuck, Meadowes! What was that for?” Barty yelled.

“To get your arses moving, let’s go to this party!”

And thus Regulus was dragged down the stairs in a whirlwind of teenage excitement, hoping to himself that he’d find a convenient time to slip out and go to bed before things got too crazy. This ballroom better be good, he thought to himself.

The walk from the Slytherin common room was a long one. Trudging up from the dungeons to the ground floor was already quite the effort, and Regulus took a lot of convincing from Pandora to not turn around once they had reached the third floor. Still, against all odds, he found himself standing in the unassuming corridor with nothing but blank walls, the tapestry, a handful of doors, and a gaggle of students excitedly gathering for the party. He had seen a few enter the broom closet and not emerge, so at least the location was real. A small queue had formed outside the door, so Regulus sighed and followed his friends to the end of it.

Before long, they were walking into the broom closet and through the false back, which was left wide open, into what was possibly the most extravagant ballroom Regulus had ever seen. It had been furnished with couches and tables for drinks and snacks, and Regulus was struck with the feeling that this was very wrong, using such a beautiful space for such a messy gathering and blasting David Bowie. He shook it off and made a beeline for the drinks table, causing Pandora to trail after him. Barty and Evan had already disappeared into the crowd and Dorcas was on her way to the same Gryffindor girls, who were huddled in a corner.

Once Regulus had acquired a suitable (non-alcoholic) drink, he leaned back on one of the many huge window sills displaying the Hogwarts grounds and sighed, taking in the view of so many people in one place. It was nice, seeing joy after a summer spent at Grimmauld place.

“You know,” Pandora said from next to him, “It’s refreshing, being here. Sure, I had Evan and Dorcas over summer, but my parents were really getting to me by the end. I mean, they didn’t even bother to come with us on our trip. They just paid for it and sent us off into the great unknown. I like having visual evidence that there are people here who actually care about each other and want to spend time together. You can feel it in the air.”

“I was thinking the same,” Regulus said, “Minus the trip part.” He laughed without humour. “I was stuck in that house all summer. And Mother tightened her grasp when Sirius went and got himself caught sneaking out to do Merlin knows what. It’s his own fault, but I still felt bad for him, he couldn’t talk for ages. I wish he’d just follow her rules, then he wouldn’t have this whole problem.”

“Maybe you could talk to him?” Pandora suggested.

“Maybe you can talk to your parents,” Regulus countered. Her face scrunched up in disgust. “Didn’t think so.”

“So,” Regulus started, changing the subject, “How long do you think Barty and Evan are going to last this time?”

“A month tops for sure. Or maybe something will happen tonight. Only time will tell.”

At that moment, the air shifted, and it took Regulus a second to register what had changed. Then he saw them. Black Perfume had entered the room, and everyone was losing their minds. Bellatrix, the lead singer and thus most popular wasn’t, however, interested in people fawning over her, contrary to her usual love of having a constant entourage. She was walking straight towards Regulus. Fuck, he thought, I would have preferred Narcissa. He hurriedly shooed Pandora away. He didn’t know if he could deal with Bella belittling his friend as well as him. Pandora looked confused for a second but ultimately obliged.

“Aww my little Reggie!” Bellatrix cooed as she approached, “You’re all grown up now!” Regulus did his best not to flinch. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Maybe that’s because you were busy touring the country. Congratulations on the new album, by the way,” Regulus said, keeping his rising panic at bay with a monotone voice and blank expression.

“Thank you! We worked hard on it.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “How have you been? I saw you have a lady friend, what’s her name?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Aww, don’t you want to tell your cousin about your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Regulus said through clenched teeth. Bellatrix really had a way of getting to him. She cocked her head.

“Too bad. You should get one, you surely have the looks for it. Or a boyfriend, I don't judge.” Regulus reeled back at that. This was becoming more uncomfortable by the second. Sure, maybe she wouldn't care if he had a boyfriend, but she definitely was one to judge regardless.

“Look, Bella, as much as I appreciate the concern, it is not necessary,” Regulus said, doing his best to turn away.

“No but it is! You're so much more grown up than the last time I saw you, and you need someone in your life! You can't hide in your academics forever.”

“I certainly can.”

“It's important though. Seeing as I'm here for the year, I'll help you find someone.” 

“Why aren't you bothering Sirius with all this?”

She scoffed. “Sirius is a lost cause. Doesn't deserve my expertise. He’s alright on his own anyway. Don't try to change the subject.”

“I really don't need your help.” Regulus snapped.

“He's right, he doesn't,” Regulus whipped around to see who was speaking only to find James Potter standing in front of him, facing Bellatrix, with his arms crossed. What the fuck.

“And why would it be your place to say that?” she sneered.

Potter turned around, grabbed Regulus's hand, and shoved it in Bellatrix's face. Her eyes widened as she processed what she was seeing. Regulus tried not to flinch at the sudden and unwelcome touch.

“We'll be going now,” he said, before leading Regulus away and into the crowd.

Now that the initial shock had passed, Regulus felt an intense rage building up. He shoved Potter through to the other side of the room and faced him. 

“What the actual fuck was that?” he hissed. Potter had the audacity to not look afraid.

“I was helping you out, you’re welcome.”

“I didn't need your help! I was perfectly fine on my own! And now what, Bellatrix is going to think that we,” he gestured between the two of them, “are a thing. What was your plan after that?”

“You were absolutely not fine. I've known Sirius long enough to know when either of you aren't okay. And come on, pretending for a bit can't be that bad?”

Regulus was convinced he was actually about to go blind with rage. “I am not my fucking brother,” he spat, “And I will not pretend you're my boyfriend just to avoid my cousin. She's family.”

“Well, even so, my offer still stands.”

“Your offer is fucking stupid.”

“Are you really going to stand here and pretend nothing's different?” James pleaded. 

Regulus was taken aback by the sudden switch in tone. “What are you talking about?”

“The letters. Over Summer. Literally only like a week ago.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Regulus knew exactly what he was talking about, but it was a topic he did his best to avoid thinking about whenever possible, so he'd do his best to avoid talking about it as well.

“Come on. The ones we sent along while helping Sirius! We became acquaintances, at least.”

“We are not acquaintances. We aren't anything,” Regulus snapped before stalking away to find one of his friends. He'd even take Barty and Evan's bullshit over this right now.

“Regulus-” Potter started, but never finished due to Regulus already being out of earshot which, in such a packed and noisy room, wasn't far at all.

Regulus scanned the room, but couldn't see anyone he could talk to. Pandora and Dorcas were seemingly gone and Barty and Evan were probably in some corner either snogging or trying to murder each other. Somehow Regulus had ended up in the middle of the dancefloor. Bodies pressed up against him uncomfortably and he did his best to ignore it and keep searching. His best was not, however, very good. The loud music, and noise from chatter, and heat, and closeness, and overwhelming smell of alcohol was enough to send Regulus over the edge. Tears started to form in his eyes. Why were there tears? This was stupid, they were just people. He shoved his way to the edge of the crowd and crashed ungracefully into the wall before sliding down to the ground and pulling his knees up to his chest. Okay. Deep breaths. Breathe. Just breathe. His body wasn't listening to him. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Finally, his breathing started to slow and he felt himself calm down a little. Enough to stand, at least. Enough to see three feet in front of him. Enough to put one foot in front of the other until he was in the deserted corridor which was, in contrast, much cooler. He didn't feel much like sitting, or going back to his dorm. For a moment he simply stood in place, trying to process what had just happened.

Regulus looked down at his hands. They didn't seem like his own. Past his hands, planted on the floor, were his feet, not his either. Of course, he knew, objectively, factually, that obviously they were his fingers and his feet, and his body, but there was this feeling. He wiggled his fingers a little. Picked up a leg. And then he was pacing up and down the corridor, shaking his hands. He could hardly imagine what he would look like to a passer-by. He couldn't stay in this corridor. Someone was about to come out of the ballroom and see him looking like a fucking idiot. He had to go somewhere. Maybe the astronomy tower?

A low rumbling caused Regulus to look up from his shoes at the blank wall next to him. Only, it wasn't blank anymore. Right in front of Regulus there was now a large, ornate door. He was almost certain it hadn't been there thirty seconds ago. He tentatively tried the handle. It was unlocked. He really shouldn't, but his curiosity was getting the better of him and he really did have to get out of this corridor.

Regulus pushed open the door gently. Instantly, he was taken aback by the multitude of things in it.

There were various musical instruments by one wall. Guitars, drums, keyboards, saxophones, basses, violins, and more. Plus, some amplifiers and microphones. The floor was littered with pillows and small couches. On the opposite wall from the instruments was the biggest vinyl record collection Regulus had ever seen and a stereo set-up. Of course, the walls were almost exclusively covered in posters, both muggle and wizard. It was perfect. I guess we have an answer to our where-are-we-getting-our-instruments-from question, Regulus thought, internally shrugging.

As much as he wanted to try them out, all he could find the strength to do now was collapse into the (very soft and well padded) floor with a groan and stay there for a while.

Well, at least until the door opened and someone came in.

Regulus sat bolt upright and his eyes shot towards the doorway. He let out an exasperated sigh. There stood James Potter, looking just as shocked as Regulus felt.

“What are you doing here?” they both asked at the same time. Potter laughed.

“I saw a door that wasn't there the last time I saw the wall it was in and went through it. You?”

“You've pretty much summed it up.”

“What is this place anyway? Some sort of musician's heaven.” James walked past Regulus and towards the guitars. He picked one up and sat down with it, strumming a chord.

Regulus was thoroughly uncomfortable with this whole thing and stayed silent.

“Are you going to compete in the battle of the bands? We are. The Marauders, I mean. It's gonna be awesome. We've already got some songs in mind. To play.” The chords were turning into a melody.

Regulus stayed silent, but Potter looked to him in question so he nodded slightly.

“Awesome! What are you gonna play? I'm playing guitar. My dad taught me when I was a kid, so it was the obvious choice.”

“Haven't really decided yet.”

“Don't know what to start learning?”

“Don't know which of the ones I already know to pick.”

“Oh, wow. You know that many instruments?”

“Potter. Why are you trying to converse with me? You never cared before and frankly it was better like that.”

“Oh erm, I dunno. I just like making friends, I guess,” he said sheepishly.

James had done nothing but be a pain in his arse or ignore him for four years, longer if Sirius’s letters in his first year counted, so the fact that he wanted that to change was strange. People did not simply change, like a switch in their brains being flicked from ‘I have no interest in speaking to you’ to ‘I am actively trying to make conversation with you’. At least, that's what Regulus thought.

“I am not your friend,” Regulus snapped, getting up and leaving James Potter and his guitar alone in the mysterious room.

Regulus Black did not care about James Potter, let alone want to be friends with him.