You must like me for me
Buck remembered the news going absolutely berserk when the last remaining known Avilion had disappeared before he went into the compound. He had researched it enough to know even if it had been long before his birth. The world had been in a panic for the last few years of their existence, trying to find any possible way of preserving Avilions and their abilities to an extent that they were turned into science experiments rather than allowed to live freely. Every government had taken their own stance on the declining population, but all had ended up the same way, Avilions having less and less rights to make their own decisions in order to try and protect them. That was what it seemed to those who were scared like Buck however. Before the population decline, Avilions were heralded, they went to fancy specialised schools and were given top paying jobs to use their powers to help others. But Buck could imagine they were always scared of the pressure that came with the ever growing responsibilities of the Avilions as politicians around the world began to rely more and more on the Avilions than on them solving their own problems. Buck wasn’t surprised they eventually vanished, it was probably due to the exhaustion of carrying the world on their shoulders. Buck wouldn't be surprised if there were others like him who stayed hidden, it seemed calmer and safer than the reality of being in the public eye and expected to be the perfect superhero the world wanted Avilions to be.
There were many during the population decline that brought forward radical methods in order to bring out the powers of those touched with the Avilion gene like Buck was with his eyes. Some experiments were deemed safe by modern medicine and volunteers were sought after, others however, were deemed too radical and dangerous. A small few like Buck's, those who ran the compound, were those people. Except they hadn’t taken a no from the government as an answer, and they hadn’t asked for volunteers. They had taken what they wanted, and Buck wasn’t so sure they were doing it for the greater good of the rest of the world, or the greater good of their own ideology. Who was he lying , he knew.
He was relaxing back on the leather sofa with Eddie in the communal area when the alarm bell finally rang loud through the station and startled him out of his musings. It interrupted a serene moment amidst the chaos of his new haphazardous life; his shoulder pressed against Eddie’s, and his head twisted in a way that made Buck lean further into Eddie so he could hide his phone’s screen. The noise made him flinch in a way it never usually did and he ignored Eddie’s concerned stare in favour of flicking away his secret browser tabs and jumping to his feet.
Buck had been back at the firehouse for a couple of days and as much as he loved his job and was glad to have a second chance with his fire family, he didn’t want to be here right now. Buck was still missing six siblings. Six siblings that could be alone, hurt, captured or, God forbid, dead already.
The first day of the redo was a crazy mix of emotions, but he was at least given hope with every message he or TK got back. Ian had messaged that he was safe towards the end of that first shift and he couldn’t have been more happy. He spoke a while with him, making sure he was okay with the sudden change, or at least in a safe place. The kid had his head screwed on right by the sounds of it and Buck wished him luck keeping his newly discovered Avilion status a secret from his nosy family and distant but yet overprotective boyfriend before telling him to keep in touch, and hanging up. Ian, apparently the calmest of them all in this situation, left the call with a parting jab, wishing Buck luck with his feelings for Eddie. Cheeky git.
Despite the jump scare, Buck was glad to hear the bell at first. That was until they were changed and well on their way in the truck with Bobby giving them more details about the call.
He hated these kinds of calls. He always had. It wasn’t like any calls were easy - far from it. The whole reason you were standing in front of that person, in front of anyone you met on shift, was because someone had made the worst call of their week, their month, their lives. Most of the people he stood in front of were terrified of pain and death. They were calling you to make the pain stop, make the devastation that had gripped on to their life end. These calls in particular were something different, though. These calls wanted the pain to stop too, but the person suffering wasn’t calling you to stop it, they were often calling to say the other person already had. These people’s last resort was using a gun, or a pill, or a bridge. They were using such terrifying means to finally have control over whatever was hurting them, and that meant it was Buck’s job to stop them from their version of peace. Peace Buck begged for not too long ago.
As they pulled up to the scene, Buck took a steadying breath. The truck pulled up behind the police cordon, a safe distance from the hooded figure balanced carefully on the other side of the bridge’s railing. They were surrounded by gawking onlookers that certainly weren’t making the situation any better. The police officers by the perimeter seemed to have it handled, though, eventually coaxing them by with hushed warnings.
The hooded figure had their hands pressed over their ears and Buck could see the grip of their hands getting tighter and tighter as they tried to block out the noise. It troubled him more when he realised that meant there was nothing stopping a strong gust of wind from knocking them over the edge.
“Do we know much about them?” Bobby asked the lead officer quietly beside him, already thinking up his game plan, while also trying to subtly comfort his wife as he gripped her hand tightly.
“I haven’t been able to get much information. He isn’t too keen to talk,” Athena answered in a low voice, her eyes stuck to the back of the troubled civilian. Buck knew how hard calls like this must be for her after May, her daughter, took those pills a couple of years ago. “All I know is that it was called in by a pedestrian about twenty minutes ago. We don’t know how long he’s been up there, though. This bridge is pretty quiet at night and he could have easily been missed by a driver if they weren’t paying too much attention to their surroundings.”
“So it’s a boy. Any idea on a name? Age?” Bobby followed up as he began to check out the other officers around him hoping someone else had gathered any more information.
“No, nothing. The only reason we know he’s a boy is because Officer Michaels made the mistake of assuming otherwise with how small he is and, well, the makeup. He called him sweetheart while trying to talk him down and he was pretty quick to correct that. He shouted how he was a boy and not to call him sweetheart before mumbling something under his breath. That’s all he has said since we got here,” Athena sighed. It was always harder when they refused to talk. It made it harder to bargain with them, to reason with them, and talk to them like a human being, if they didn’t know anything about them to begin with.
“Ok. Ok,” Bobby nodded and spun around to face the team. “Buck and Eddie, you get strapped in and get a spare harness ready to wrap around him. If he is going to jump we better be ready to try and catch him. Chimney and Hen, get ready with everything we have for fall and drowning victims. If he goes in that river, we want to be ready. Buck, Eddie, both of you have had talk down training. One of you needs to go down there and see if you can talk him down. I could do it but I think any more shouting from up here is just going to frazzle him more. Athena can we make it as quiet as possible around here? Pull your men back and clear the sirens. The noise is already causing distress, we don’t want to make this any worse.”
Buck and Eddie strapped up before sending Buck over the edge. God he hoped he didn’t fuck this up.
“Hi, I’m Buck. What’s your name?” Buck asked as he crawled closer to the boy. It felt weird using that name after not hearing it while in the compound, but it would have raised suspicion if the team heard him referring to himself by anything else. He stopped when he noticed the chipped pink nail polish and smeared makeup on the boy's face. Something was ringing alarm bells in Buck’s head.
“I like your hoodie,” Buck whispered as he settled a few feet away from the boy after a few moments of complete silence between the pair. “Taylor is one of my favourite singers, too. I think I know every word to every song she has ever released.”
“Me too,” a small voice whispered back as the hands came down from covering the boy's ears.
“Really!” Buck exclaimed quietly, glad the boy had said something. “What is your favourite song of hers?”
“You need to calm down,” He whispered back.
“Ah,” Buck said as he considered what the boy was saying. That was one of Peter’s favourites too. “I'm guessing it wasn’t your choice to put that makeup on? Or the pink nail polish by how much you have tried to chip it off,” Buck said as he took another glance at the boy's hands. They were red raw around the nail beds. If he hadn’t been scratching it off, he had certainly been biting it off.
“No,” the boy whispered as one tear escaped and ran down his face. He was still looking at the water below. “They told me I had to put it on. My grandparents were in town. They expected Sophie to be there.”
“But Sophie shouldn’t have been there, huh?” Buck whispered back as he finally got the confirmation he needed. This boy was just like Peter. “You should have been invited instead?”
“I’m never invited.”
“Yeah, I know what that feels like,” Buck agreed. “My parents always threw these fancy dinners with their high class friends when I was back home, but I was never allowed to go. My sister was because she was the smart one. The one that always pleased my parents. The sun shone out of her… well… no matter how much I did, the sun never shone for me.”
“My parents never saw me,” Buck continued as he crept closer, “No matter what I did, and how I acted, they never saw me. They saw the fake me, and even then it was never good enough. Maybe they knew. Knew that it wasn’t the real me so maybe they thought there was no point getting to know me at all. Knew it was easier to lose the fake me than try and find the real me. My friend Peter had it harder.”
“Why?” The boy asked softly after a couple of minutes of considering what Buck had said, continuing to mess with his hands between the joined sleeves of his hoodie.
“He was born in the wrong body,” Buck softly said as he inched even closer to the boy, glad he was willing to talk, even if it was one word at a time. “He was assigned female at birth and his first foster family weren't so supportive of him being himself. He spent a long time keeping his hair long, doing his nails, and being the perfect girl that his foster family wanted, but he was slowly driving himself mad. He said it was like he was slowly dying inside while a stranger made his face smile. It’s hard to be forced to be someone else. He always described it as being part of a play and that he was the lead actor, his foster family were the directors and no matter how much he hoped there would be an intermission, it never seemed to come. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” the boy said as he looked up at Buck for the first time. Buck could see the makeup that had been scrubbed off his face, but had still left a couple of streaks across his cheeks.
“Want to talk about it?” Buck asked.
“Sophie had to be there,” he repeated. “Kyle wasn’t allowed to come to dinner. I really wanted to go as myself but they said no. It wasn’t the right time. It’s never the right time. I feel like I'm sick all the time and no matter how sick I get, my mum and dad aren’t interested in finding a way to make me feel better. They would rather me stay sick. It’s easier than looking for the cure,” Kyle forced the words out around halted sobbing.
“Parents, who needs them?” Buck sighed as he finally managed to settle right next to Kyle and look out at the scene in front of them. “Parents just make everything harder. It’s hard enough figuring out you, you shouldn’t need to figure out the different versions of you others want to see.” Buck didn’t know if he should be concerned that his team could hear any of this. He knew this past version of himself didn’t get so emotional and share so much about his family, but Peter had made him soft.
“Parents suck,” Kyle agreed as he finally glanced up and looked in the same direction as Buck. Buck supposed he should be rushing them back to the top where the rest of his team were watching and waiting, but looking at the scenery in front of them, he was enjoying the silence.
“So… You want to hang out here for a while talking Taylor Swift top hits or do you fancy going back up top because I will argue until I'm blue in the face that nothing beats Don't Blame Me,” Buck eventually offered in a lighter tone to break through the beat of silence. They could both still hear the hustle and bustle above them, but it had been nice to take a breather and enjoy the view for a moment.
A sudden burst of laughter made Kyle snort as he looked over at Buck with a smile.
“Can I ask you something first?” Kyle asked as he looked at Buck with a nervous stammer behind his question.
“Of course,” Buck agreed as he turned to meet Kyle's eyes.
“Your friend. Peter. What happened to him?” Buck only wished he really knew.