Alone, but not lonely

* H *

Harry knew there was a smile on his face. It was only small, of course, but he couldn’t help it. Someone cared.

“I care about you, too.”

‘Ares. Hey. Guess what I’m doing.’

“Brewing potions.”

‘Yes. Severus even gave me gloves for it. He said I could keep them. He even put one of the two pairs in the potion kit, which he told me he would give me, so I would always have the potion I need on hand.’

Feelings of happiness travelled over to him, which he knew where, because Ares was happy for him.

Severus was talking again. “Look here boy, -“ Harry froze. He was back at the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon wanted “You are not at Privat Drive Hades. You are with Severus Snape. You are brewing a potion.” Ares voiced noticeable.

“Are you alright?” Harry heard someone ask beside him.

He blinked. “I’m fine.”

“You should ask him to not call you that. It’s okay to set boundaries. And if that word as such an impact on you, he shouldn’t call you that while you’re brewing.”

“I can feel you’re worry Hades, but this is nothing you need to be ashamed of. I have boundaries too. You know, the touching. I still do touch people, but I want it to be my choice, and I want it to come from me and I only allow those I trust to touch me without me reaching out.
It’s okay to have boundaries. No matter how strange they might seem to others.”

Severus was still looking at him, obviously trying to find out what happened, without prying.

“Ahm. Could you… Would you mind not calling me … that again?” God, he was so pathetic. He couldn’t even say it, let alone build a complete sentence without stuttering.

“You’re not pathetic, Hades. And I’m very proud you managed to put you’re boundary in words. It’s a very difficult process. You’re doing well.”

‘Thanks Ares.’

“Are you referring to the descriptive noun used for males your age?” That sounded complicated. Harry appreciated the attempt in not saying ‘boy’ again.

“Yes.”

“Any other descriptive words you would like me to not use?”

Severus sounded genuine. And it wasn’t like Harry wasn’t used to being called that. He just hadn’t been prepared to hear it here.

“Freak.” Harry answered. Because if he could pick any words, that were banned from vocabulary it would be those two. Boy and freak.

Severus face did something complicated, before it cleared again. “He’s considering ways to murder your guardians” Ares added from the back seat.

“My sister calls me Hades, because apparently, I have to be an immortal god who lives in hell. I kinda like it. The nickname. So, you can call me that, if you don’t want to call me John.”

“You could also give me your name. I can keep a secret.”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt your ability of secrecy, but I’d rather continue being anonym. My relatives might be not the best guardians, but they are my only family and took me in out of the goodness of their heart. Even though they could’ve left me to die on the doorstep.”

“I don’t think your choice of words is helping your case, Hades.”

‘Well, it’s the truth, isn’t it. And they are still blood family.’

“I think you’re just used to the way they treat you. Lots of children in abused homes don’t believe themselves to be abused in any way.”

‘It’s not abuse.’ Even to himself his inner voice sounded doubtful.

“Hades, I’m counting myself to those children. I might not be in an abused home, but I’m definitely used to being sent back. I know my point of view isn’t healthy, because I’m way too pessimistic to give the next guardian a chance. But I’m also not in a place of mind, where I can believe, someone would want to adopt me. I’m also getting older every day. Most people want babies.”

Harry sends sympathy over the bond and for the first time accepted that yes, maybe he was in an abusive home. He also realised that it was the first time Ares had said it, but the way she often spoke implied, she considered the way he lived unhealthy.

“Are you and your sister talking currently?”

“Ahm, yes. Sorry.”

“No need to apologise. From what I understood it’s a natural connection, which while you might want to learn to shut out at some point, should never be shut out from outside forces, including the people you are currently talking with.”

Harry smiled, Ares seemed to be getting emotional over it as well. After all, there connection had been shut by outside forces for years. Mainly them being too far apart.

“We know how to shut each other out, as our connection wasn’t always as strong as it is now. We decided to never lock the doors though, as it feels like the other is gone. We do keep our distance most of the time though. We have rules for when the other needs to knock before showing up.”

“So, Hades, like the Greek god of the underworld.”

“Yes.”

“Does your sister have a nickname I’m allowed to know as well?”

Harry grimaces, “I haven’t come up with one yet.”

“Very well, how about we turn back to the potion then. Do you see the viper green colour? When it turns this colour, you know it’s perfect. With this colour, the potion can be left in the cauldron for several hours. Up to a day, though I never truly tested how long exactly. If you brew before bed, this is the best moment to leave it for the night. Before, when we began, I had the base under a stasis charm, which needs to be perfectly done, if you intend to leave a potion alone. It should never be left on a potion over a long period of time though, as depending on the stage you leave the potion it will change the quality or make the brew useless in most cases poisonous. With this viper green it can be left though. The next step is to add the crushed mistletoe berries.”

They continued to brew, and Severus let Harry add one berry after the other.