Regulus bursts into the dorm, his tie is slightly loose and his curls slightly frizzy from running.
“did you know a pigs orgasm lasts for 30 minutes?”
Barty sighs and places down his broom polish
“hello to you too regulus”
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The alarm goes off, regulus groans and throws the alarm off the bedside table, smashing it, he turns over and puts his pillow over his head. “Raparo” Barty picks up the alarm and puts it back on the table. “regulus wake up or i will shove your own wand up your ass so far you will taste it.”
Regulus groans and throws the pillow at Barty and storms into the bathroom.
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Regulus walks out the bathroom in his school robes and his curls tame but still fluffy. “morning bartholomew”
“good morning reginald, you need to take your anger out on something other than your alarm clock.”
Regulus sits on his bed, opens his chocolate and takes a bite. “When we eat chocolate, our brains make a chemical called serotonin and it makes us happy, we could cure depression with chocolate” Barty sighs.
“come on we will be late for class”
Regulus smiles sweetly and leaves the dorm. Evan finally speaks up. “the kid is demented.” “agreed.” And they leave too.
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At lunch regulus fills his plate as little as possible, pushing around the food and taking 1 or 2 bites.
“did you see Remus in potions today?” Barty says between bites.
“Yeah, see i wouldn’t date him but i would let him ruin my ability to walk and forget my name” Regulus smirks
“……..yeah see i regret asking”
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Regulus is laying on his stomach in the courtyard with pandora putting flowers in his curls, Evan is laying over Barty reading a book with dorcas.
“did you know there are 207 bones in the human body”
Before anyone could reply Regulus speaks again.
“208 if potter is around”
Just then James and Remus walk through the courtyard.
“here we go, maximum effort” Regulus grins and everyone else just roll their eyes, continuing what they are doing
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Regulus kisses james down his stomach, unbuckling his belt, James groans and tilts his head back.
He undoes his belt and pulls his pants and boxers down. “hey little guy” Regulus says in a tone you’d speak to a puppy or a baby in before taking james into his mouth and sucking.