“It's gonna be okay, I swear!”
“No it's not and we both know that!”
Regulus stared at the not so little heap of black curly hair on his bathroom floor. It's nearly the same color as the tiles that cover every floor in the bathrooms of grimmauld place no.12.
Slowly, trying to keep his breathing steady, he lifted his gaze to the mirror and regarded the two people he saw standing in the reflection. On the left was his brother, looking like he always does, shoulder length hair that looked just like his, just like the heap on the floor he was trying not too hard to think about. He didn't even dare to look a little more to the right, didn't dare to see the results of his stupid, impulsive decision.
Instead he tried to further focus on his brother. On the eyeliner around his eyes, that he never not wore when they were at hogwarts and reflexively put on at home, and on the red mark on his cheek, the reaction of their mother when he had come down to breakfast this morning.
He could still picture the look of sheer disgust on his mother's face just before she had raised her wand at his brother very clearly and the thought of her bursting in any minute and doing the same, or probably worse to him nearly knocked the breath out of him. Of course they had performed several locking and protecting charms but who knew what she was capable of.
“Reg? Hey, hey we'll find a solution. I'm sure it won't be that bad.” Sirius grabbed his brother's shoulder and turned Reggie towards him. “Come on, look at me. Take a deep breath. It will be fine” he emphasized every single word in the last sentence but even to Sirius’ ears it sounded cheap. They both knew their mother's reaction would be horrible but as always that hadn't stopped Sirius from convincing and bothering his brother so long until he gave in.
Sirius saw how uncomfortable Reggie had seemed in his body for the past few years, always having to listen to their parents yapping on about how they found a possible suitor and reminding him of his purpose to marry a rich and wealthy wizard of the sacred 28 families and give birth to at least one heir blah blah blah.
It just wasn't fair. Sirius had managed to more or less cut himself free of their family's traditions and beliefs. Or at least when he was at Hogwarts. Besides he always had James’s incase something would go really wrong. He had had that plan B in his head for a while now, but he couldn't just leave Regulus behind. He had to stay until he had a plan to convince Reggie to come with him, to rescue both of them.
And while he was already staying at this hell house he would never in his life call home,he might as well try to help his brother get more comfortable with himself.
So, cutting his hair had seemed like an easy first step. It also wasn't super obvious, girls could also have short hair but that too wouldn't make much of a difference for their mother so Sirius didn't even bother saying that out loud.
“Have you even looked at it yet?”
Regulus shook his head just slightly. Sirius smiled encouragingly. “Come on, I put so much blood and tears in this you will have to do me the honors to at least admire it” he said in a theatrical manner and placed his hand dramatically on his chest. Regulus rolled his eyes but it was clear that he was suppressing a smile.
“Fine” Regulus took a deep breath and forced himself to finally look at the other person in the mirror. They looked oddly like a young version of his brother right next to them. Their hair was a bit shorter, about chin length, and the curls were a bit more, well, curled. But otherwise they had the same high cheekbones, the same pale skin. The most defying difference was the eyes. His brothers were green, but the other persons were a stormy gray and slightly more almond shaped.
There was no further denying it. The other person was him. Really him. Regulus Arcturus Black. For the first time in years he felt even close to comfortable, to feeling like, well like he was really himself. It was then that he realized that he was smiling. Or smiling was perhaps a bit too much but the corners of his mouth were definitely pointing upwards and in a house where it was taught to show a total lack of emotions and mimics at all times, that movement was equal to what Sirius was doing at the moment.
Full on Grinning.
“So what do you think?” Sirius didnt actually have to ask, he knew his brother well enough to interpret every shift in his emotionless face correctly but he still wanted confirmation, wanted his brother to admit to himself that doing what he himself wanted was actually way better than fulfilling their mothers wants like a mindless puppet.
“It's…not that bad” Regulus said hesitantly.
“Not that bad?” Sirius repeated mockingly though they both knew he didn't mean it in a truly hurtful way. “C’mon Reggie I've not seen you smile this brightly since…ever!”
Regulus frowned at the slang and then proceeded to roll his eyes at his brother's exaggeration. He had smiled before he wasn't a damn inferie thank you very much. But, admittedly his brother had a point; it had been a while since he felt real happiness. He looked at his new self again and it was possible that his smile brightened just a bit.
“I like it”
And just for a little moment he had forgot all about the upcoming horror of their mothers reaction and that she would probably make him take a potion to grow it back anyway. For a little Moment he allowed himself to just be happy.