Chapter 26
It’s cold now. Too cold for soccer, even though they still practice. The grass is frozen solid in the mornings. When they run drills, their cleats scrape ice off the field in sheets.
Tai wears gloves with the fingertips cut off. Van keeps sneaking lighters into her cleats. Lottie puts hot tea in her water bottle.
Jackie wears lip balm and doesn’t speak unless someone asks her a direct question.
Shauna notices. But she doesn’t say anything.
⸻
Study hall is dead quiet.
Lottie and Shauna sit near the back, sharing a Walkman. The tape warbles between Mazzy Star and silence. Shauna chews on her pen. Lottie plays with the frayed hem of Shauna’s sleeve.
They don’t talk. They don’t need to.
Across the room, Jackie is reading Wuthering Heights. Or pretending to. Fuck APLIT
Her pencil keeps tapping against her cheek.
She’s not taking notes.
Shauna watches her for a full minute before Lottie nudges her thigh.
“Don’t get too existential,” Lottie whispers, grinning.
Shauna smiles back.
But she doesn’t stop looking.
⸻
At lunch, Van tells a story about some girl trying to smoke oregano at a party. Everyone laughs. Jackie does too—late, and quiet.
Lottie’s sitting next to Shauna, picking the pepperoni off her slice. She doesn’t look at Jackie, but she’s always aware of who’s looking at her.
Tai offers Jackie a Capri Sun. Jackie shakes her head.
Nobody mentions how weird the air feels. Like it’s holding its breath.
⸻
That night, Shauna finishes her English essay. She types the last line, saves it to a floppy disk, and stares at her reflection in the black screen.
She thinks about calling Jackie.
Then doesn’t.