But anyway
Shauna doesn’t usually invite people into her room. Her mom has a sixth sense about when there’s another girl in the house, and the walls are thin, and she doesn’t like people seeing her life flattened into a twin bed and a desk stacked with APUSH notes and expired lip balm.
But it’s late. Her mom’s working a double. The streetlight outside her window flickers like it’s winking. Lottie’s sitting on the bed, looking around like she’s trying to memorize it all.
“You’re quiet,” Shauna says, pulling the curtains shut. “Plotting something?”
Lottie shrugs, her voice soft. “Maybe.”
Shauna raises an eyebrow. “Cool. Love that for me.”
Lottie leans back on her hands. She’s still in her practice shorts and a long-sleeved thermal. Her cheeks are flushed from the walk over. Her legs are tucked under her, bare knees pressing into Shauna’s floral comforter like she belongs there.
Shauna tries not to look at her mouth.
“You don’t have to be nervous,” Lottie says.
“I’m not nervous.”
“You keep checking the door.”
“That’s called being paranoid,” Shauna says, deadpan. “It’s very chic.”
Lottie laughs, soft and low. “Okay.”
Shauna moves toward the bed, slow. She kicks off her sneakers. “So, what are we calling this now?”
“This?”
“This thing we keep doing,” Shauna says, waving her hand between them. “The kissing. The… whatever.”
Lottie cocks her head. “Do we have to call it anything?”
Shauna climbs onto the bed, kneels over her. “I mean, I could just say I’m using you for stress relief.”
Lottie blinks. “Are you?”
“Maybe.”
Lottie hums, amused. “And here I thought we had something special.”
“Oh no, you’re very special,” Shauna says, voice dry. “Like, deeply mystical. Possibly cursed.”
Lottie leans forward. “Then I guess it’s a good thing you like danger.”
Shauna’s smirk falters slightly. Her hand touches Lottie’s waist. Warm skin under cotton.
“I really do,” she says, voice quieter now. “Like, it’s probably an issue.”
Lottie doesn’t respond. Just shifts until her face is close enough that Shauna can feel her breath.
Then Shauna kisses her.
It’s messier than it usually is. More want, less restraint. Shauna’s hands slide up under Lottie’s shirt, fingertips brushing the curve of her ribs. Lottie gasps, soft and surprised, and that’s all Shauna needs—she presses her back into the bed, climbing on top of her, pinning her with her hips.
Lottie looks up at her, grinning now. “Wow. You’re really going for it tonight.”
Shauna smirks. “I told you. Stress relief.”
She kisses her again. Deeper. One of Lottie’s hands fists in the back of Shauna’s T-shirt. The other trails up her arm, deliberate.
“You’re not very chill for a girl who claims this isn’t a thing,” Lottie murmurs between kisses.
Shauna bites her lower lip lightly. “Neither are you.”
Lottie doesn’t argue. She pulls her own shirt up and over her head, lets it fall to the floor beside the bed.
Shauna stares for a second.
Lottie raises an eyebrow. “What? This isn’t a thing, remember?”
Shauna blinks, then smirks again, softer this time. “Right. Totally meaningless.”
She kisses her again, slower now. Lets it stretch.
Lottie’s warm under her hands, under her mouth. Her skin smells like lavender and something metallic—like a storm coming in. Shauna’s heart is beating too fast.
And that’s when the door opens.
⸻
“Shauna—” Jackie’s voice cuts in, then breaks off.
Shauna freezes.
She turns toward the door, still straddling Lottie, who is now very topless and very still.
Jackie’s in the doorway, face pale, folder in hand, mouth open.
For a second, no one moves.
Then Shauna says, “Uh, hey.”
Lottie stays quiet.
Jackie blinks, looks at the bed, at the floor, at Lottie’s bra crumpled beside Shauna’s old yearbook.
Shauna shifts slightly but doesn’t move off of Lottie.
“I didn’t think—” Jackie stammers. “I was just coming over. I didn’t know you—”
Shauna’s voice cuts in, dry. “Yeah, no, I got that.”
Jackie’s mouth tightens. “I thought you were mad at me.”
“I was.”
“And now you’re… what?” She gestures vaguely toward them.
“Busy,” Shauna says, sharp.
Jackie flinches.
Lottie sits up slightly, finally reaching for the sheet and pulling it across her chest. She still hasn’t spoken.
“I just wanted to talk,” Jackie says. “I was trying to fix things.”
“Bit late,” Shauna mutters.
Jackie swallows. Her eyes flicker—hurt, confused, something she probably hasn’t figured out how to name yet.
“I didn’t know you… liked girls.”
Shauna scoffs. “Neither did I.”
“I’m fine with Tai and Van,” Jackie says quickly. “I’m not, like, weird about this.”
Shauna’s voice is flat. “Just weird when it’s me?”
“I didn’t mean—”
“No, it’s cool,” Shauna says. “Honestly, this is super validating. Lottie, are you feeling validated?”
Lottie exhales slowly. “More confused, actually.”
“Same.”
Jackie backs up. “I’ll go.”
She steps out, pulling the door shut behind her.
Shauna sits back, runs a hand through her hair.
Lottie leans forward, voice quiet. “That sucked.”
“Yep.”
“Is she gonna tell people?”
Shauna shrugs. “I don’t know. Probably not.”
Lottie pulls the sheet tighter. “You okay?”
Shauna pauses. Then:
“No.”
She turns to Lottie.
“But… I don’t want you to leave.”
Lottie nods.
“I wasn’t going to.”