I have a buddy I grew up with
The party was the last place Shauna wanted to be, but Jackie had texted her, and Shauna always showed up. It was just the way things were. Jackie needed her. Even if Jackie didn’t always seem to need anyone else.
Shauna slipped through the crowded house, trying to avoid the sweaty, hot mess of bodies. It was the usual—loud music, drunk college students, and the smell of something vaguely cheap in the air. When she spotted Jackie, she wasn’t surprised to see her perched in the middle of it all, effortlessly holding court. Jackie was that person, always the center of attention.
She was leaning against the counter, laughing loudly, throwing her head back like she was the queen of the world. When her eyes landed on Shauna, they lit up, but the smile was sharp, teasing.
“Shauna! Finally, you came to join the fun!” Jackie’s voice cut through the noise, the words a little too loud, a little too sure of themselves.
Shauna felt herself cringe slightly, but she forced herself to smile. “You asked me to.”
“Yeah, but I thought you’d bail. You’re always so serious.” Jackie’s eyes sparkled with mischief, and she leaned forward, lowering her voice to a mock-whisper. “Or is this some sort of ‘mysterious, brooding’ thing? Because it’s working for you. Randy asked about you. ”
Shauna’s cheeks flushed slightly, and she bit her lip, trying to keep her face neutral. She’d heard that tone from Jackie before. It was the one where she was making fun of her, but also... not. Like she was enjoying the idea of getting under her skin.
“Sure,” Shauna muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m mysterious. That's why that idiot Randy wants me. Randy who ate a crayon in 8th grade to see what would come out the other end. ”
Jackie let out a loud, melodramatic sigh. “God, you’re impossible. You never let anyone in.” She took a drink from her cup, eyes still locked on Shauna, studying her like she was a puzzle. “You really don’t know how to have fun, do you?”
Shauna wanted to retort, to say something witty, but Jackie’s eyes were too intense, too knowing. It made her throat tighten. It was hard to hold her ground when Jackie was looking at her like that. When she was making this… game of it.
“I’m just not into this scene,” Shauna said, her voice quieter than she intended, and she immediately regretted it. It was a weak excuse.
“Uh-huh,”
Jackie said, her grin widening. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you? So you are into me.” She let out a breathy, exaggerated laugh, and Shauna could feel her face heat even more.
“Admit it, Shauna. You like hanging out with me.”
Shauna didn’t know how to respond. The truth was, Jackie was magnetic, but Shauna couldn’t let her see how much it affected her. “I came because you texted me,” Shauna said, trying to play it cool. “Because I’m your friend.”
Jackie’s smirk deepened, her gaze almost predatory. “Uh-huh. You’re always so careful with me. Like I’m gonna break if you’re too nice, or too honest, or too—” She paused, her eyes twinkling. “—too much.”
Shauna shifted on her feet, uncomfortable with how closely Jackie was looking at her. The teasing was familiar, but it felt sharper tonight. “You’re drunk,” Shauna said, the words coming out a little too quickly. “This doesn’t mean anything.”
Jackie leaned in, her face dangerously close to Shauna’s, the air between them thick with something unspoken. “Oh, I’m definitely drunk,” Jackie said with a smirk, and her voice dropped low. “But that’s the fun part, right? You don’t have to be drunk to know what I want. You just have to admit it.”
Shauna’s heart skipped. She could feel her pulse racing in her neck. “You’re joking,” she muttered, but the doubt in her voice betrayed her.
Jackie’s grin softened, just for a moment, her fingers brushing Shauna’s arm lightly, like she was testing the waters. “You always think I’m joking, huh?”
Shauna’s mind was spinning. Was this just Jackie being Jackie—flirty, playful, but never serious? Or was she… was she actually serious? And if she was, did Shauna want her to be? Or was that just a dangerous thought to entertain?
“I’m not doing this,” Shauna said, but her voice was shaky now, unsure. She tried to pull back, but Jackie took a step closer, forcing her to look at her again.
“Yeah, you are,” Jackie replied, her voice teasing but with an edge of something more earnest behind it. “You just won’t admit it. I see you, Shauna. I always have.”
Shauna took a breath, trying to steady herself. She knew Jackie could be intense, could be this way with anyone, this flirtatious, this impossible to read. But it was different when it was directed at her. Jackie had always been the one person who made Shauna’s insides twist, her heart race. But she never knew if it was real, or if Jackie just liked playing with her.
“I’m just trying to help you,” Shauna said, her words coming out more defensively than she meant. “Let’s just get you home.”
Jackie’s face softened for a fraction of a second, but only a fraction. She reached up, brushing her thumb across Shauna’s cheek, a gesture so soft it almost felt out of place. “You always say that, don’t you?” she murmured. “Always taking care of me.”
Shauna didn’t respond. She couldn’t. Because part of her did want to take care of Jackie, wanted to be the one to pull her out of the mess, to be the steady hand in all of Jackie’s chaos. But she couldn’t—didn’t—want to risk crossing the line. It would ruin everything.
“Come on,” Shauna said, her voice more firm this time, the wall she built around herself thickening. “Let’s go.”
Jackie raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a small, knowing smile. “One of these days, Shauna,” she said softly, almost too softly. “You’re going to stop pretending. And when you do, you’ll see what I see.”
Shauna didn’t know what that meant, but she wasn’t ready to find out. Not yet.
She turned quickly, guiding Jackie toward the door, leading her through the myriad of people, but she could still feel the weight of Jackie’s gaze on her back.