Christmas at the Potter’s.
“’Cause I’m a hard man to lose
But I figured it out, then made my way back
To a life I would choose
We were lucky once; I could be lucky again.”
December 25th, 1993. – Harry’s POV.
“All right, Dad, turn your head more towards Mum... Mum, kiss Dad’s cheek or something,” James and Lily followed Harry’s professional instructions with perfect obedience and when Harry clicked his fingers and nodded his head, they knew they had it to his liking. “Yeah! Yeah, that’s good, hold still...”
The flash of Harry’s new Muggle Polaroid Camera went off with a click and only a second later, there was a blank page of film extracting from the camera, ready to develop what Harry was sure would be a fantastic picture of his parents. While Harry tried to examine the picture that had not even appeared yet, James was celebrating because this time, he wasn't frightened when the flash of the camera went off. It’s the little things in life.
The school term had come to a quick close and before Harry knew it, he was back at home with his parents to celebrate Christmas. So far, the break had been so fun and refreshing.
Harry could go on forever about how much he loved Hogwarts, and truly, it was somewhere he considered home, but being back in Godric’s Hollow with his parents would always be the place he really felt he belonged. Somewhere that he would never even consider questioning if he fit.
Anyway, since being back home, Harry, James and Lily had just been holed up together in the house catching up and spending as much time together as they could, because the break wouldn’t last forever, and Harry refused to waste even a second of his time with his family.
Christmas morning so far had been festive and full of love and laughter.
The three Potters had exchanged gifts and messed around with each other while wearing matching pyjamas, plaid black and red sets that were too big on all of them – cliche, Harry knew, but that was nothing on the Christmassy reindeer headband that James was wearing, because of course he was. The antlers on his head were pretty much buried in his mop of hair, but Harry couldn’t even make fun of him, because his own hair was equally tragic.
Finally, the picture had developed. He smiled down at the photo-version of his parents, who looked so ridiculous and so happy – a posed-for photo, but no posed happiness in sight. The festive joy was radiating from both of them.
Lily, who’s hair was frizzier than Harry had ever seen it, was attempting to kiss James’ cheek, but her laughter made it seem like she was just eating his face – her hand in his hair adding to the point, looking as if she was physically pulling his cheek further towards her.
James, who looked happy to surrender himself to his wife, was grinning so hard that Harry could count all of his teeth. His glasses were wonky on his face and his antlers were slipping sideways into Lily, but Harry thought it looked so brilliantly authentic.
“Guys,” Harry laughed, holding out the picture for his parents to see. “Should I take up photography, or what?”
The smiles on their faces grew as they took in all the silly details of their picture-selves. “Oh, Harry,” James said, fanning his face dramatically. “You’ve truly captured my essence. Fantastic work, son. I implore you to pursue this hidden talent of yours.”
“Yes,” Lily agreed with her ridiculous husband. “Your talents must be seen by all, maybe you’ll even become the head photographer for The Quibbler!”
“The Quibbler?” Harry laughed, scratching the back of his neck. “Not the Prophet?”
James and Lily scrunched their faces in mutual dislike. “Why would you want to work for the Prophet?” James asked incredulously.
“I don’t,” Harry told them. “But it’s the main news source. You don’t think I have the skill to make it that big?” Harry pouted jokingly.
“They’re too bland for you,” Lily played along. “You have to work for the people who are equally as weird as you are or else you’ll bore to death.”
“She’s right,” James said, pointing a hooked thumb at Lily. “You’re a weird kid. You’ll fit right in at The Quibbler.”
“Wow,” Harry deadpanned. “I’m feeling very loved on this beautiful Christmas morning. Thanks for that.”
“You are so welcome!” Lily teased. With James and Harry chuckling together, she shook her head fondly and clapped her hands together. “Time for breakfast, boys. Come on.”
“Yes!” Harry exclaimed, rubbing his stomach like a middle-aged man. “I’m starving.”
They all sat down at the dining room table that held platters and platters of bacon, scrambled eggs, toast, sausages, beans, roasted tomatoes, croissants, mushrooms – which James always refused to eat, claiming that he would rather die – and a few different flavoured juices, Harrys favourites being pumpkin and orange.
Sat under a stasis charm, the food was radiating heat and Harry’s mouth watered (James’ too, if the look on his face said anything) and just as he was about to pile his plate full, the sound of the doorbell rang though the house.
They all looked at each other in confusion; they weren’t expecting anyone.
No matter, though. Harry, who was full of Christmas energy, pushed his chair back and shot up.
“I’ll get it!” he shouted before he exited the dining room in a haste.
The sound of Lily and James getting up and following him to the door was concealed by the sounds of his bare feet padding down the hall towards the door.
When he arrived at the door, he slipped on the bottom of his too-long pyjama pants and very nearly fell right on his arse but caught himself on the doorknob at the last moment, but when he reached for it, the knob twisted in his grip and the door was pulled right open as he hauled himself upright.
His cheeks flamed in embarrassment before he even looked to see who the visitor was, because his position was very telling. Harry was at least thankful that his parents hadn’t rounded the corner and seen the almost fall.
He heard an amused breath coming from the person in front of him, and when he finally looked up, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Now don’t get him wrong, Harry was really pleased to see him, but what was he doing in Godric’s Hollow on the Potters doorstep on Christmas morning?
“Professor? What are you doing here?”
Remus Lupin stood on the doorstep looking more nervous than Harry had ever seen him. He waved at Harry and shot him a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. “Hey, kiddo.”
The sounds of James and Lily’s footsteps came closer and closer until suddenly, they came to an audible halt. What followed was the sound of his mother's choked laughter that sounded muffled as if she had put a hand to her mouth – but Harry’s eyes were stuck on Professor Lupin who stood stock still before him, so he couldn’t be sure.
But what made Harry finally turn around was the sound of his father’s theatrical gasp which rang loud through the now silent house. When he turned around, he found that he was correct in his assumption that Lily had a hand clasped over her mouth. The tears shone brightly in her eyes, but she didn’t look sad. She looked elated.
James’ mouth was hanging open as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Harry took a step towards them, to comfort? He didn’t know, but as soon as he made the smallest space between himself and the door, James was off.
He took off in a frantic sprint. Harry felt the whoosh of air as he was passed by his pyjama clad father who was still wearing those stupid antlers on his head, and it brought a happy smile to Harry's face. He knew that James and Remus had been friends in school, but seeing and feeling the joy of their reunion made Harry’s heartbeat speed up.
James just fully tackled Lupin into a hug with the force of some higher power, and Harry saw his professor’s eyes widen with the realisation of what was about to happen when he lost balance and started to tip backwards – though Harry noted that the gleeful and teary smile never wavered from his face even once in his momentary panic.
They went down in a heap, but Lily, bright woman that she was, had the foresight to shoot a cushioning charm to the pavement just before their bodies crashed down into it. Charm and all, Remus still grunted lowly and laughed a winded, “Fucking hell, James.”
“What the fuck, Remus!” James shouted through a mouthful of Remus’ old jumper. He lifted his head but did not roll off of his old friend, and shouted again, “What the fuck?!”
Harry felt like he had a sticking charm cast on his feet because he was frozen in concern at the sight of his father, who was bawling his bloody eyes out while simultaneously laughing manically.
He watched as Remus lifted slightly and brought his forehead to rest against James’, just breathing in, looking so relaxed and also very teary. His hands came up to James’ face and cradled it, using his thumbs to wipe away the steady stream of tears that were still trailing down his cheeks.
It was an intimate gesture, but Harry could very clearly see that this was nothing of romantic intent, that it was just a tender and loving act of someone who was more than just a school friend; someone who his dad very clearly had a soul connection with.
Remus’ hands still on James’ face, James brought his own up to Remus’, pulling his head in every direction imaginable. He was running his eyes all over Lupin’s face as if trying to decide if he was just a hallucination that his mind cooked up.
“Are you real?” James asked breathily. Remus visibly softened. He smiled sadly and nodded his head jerkily.
“Yeah, James. I’m real. I’m here.”
With James still crying all over him, Remus looked up and found Lily who was now standing quietly beside Harry, sniffling down the sound of her tears. Harry only then noticed her hand in his. She was shaking slightly, but her smile was blinding.
The look in Remus’ eyes made Harry certain that he found her as beautiful as Harry did.
“Hey, Rem,” she whispered, barely able to speak through her glee.
“Hi, my love,” he answered, and promptly shoved James aside, who muttered “Ouch, fuck” through his laughter, and when he was steadily on his feet, Remus just threw himself into Lily’s arms, almost knocking her over like James did to him.
Harry’s hand was ripped from hers, but he couldn’t care less as he watched his professor sweep Lily up off her feet and spin her around.
Lily was giggling as he brought her back down and despite his height, he buried his face into her neck and wrapped his arms around her middle, swallowing her in a bundle of love. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his chest as she cried and cried and cried.
James finally stood up and put an arm around Harry, silently observing Remus and Lily with a watery smile. Harry looked up to him and saw that his eyes were pretty much twinkling with little stars.
After a few minutes, he pat Harry on the shoulder and cleared his throat. James said seriously, or as seriously as he could through ever-flowing tears: “Remove your hands from my wife and give me a hug now please.”
A smile tugged at Harrys lips while the rest of them laughed, but Remus and Lily didn’t let go of each other. Instead, Remus turned his head so his cheek was resting on Lily’s shoulder and peeked an eye open.
“Shut up. You just got one.”
“I want another,” James replied with a petulant pout. “It’s not fair.”
Remus smirked but looked soft pressed into Lily’s shoulder. “Same old Prongs, huh?”
“Yeah, Moony,” James smiled. “Same old, same old, or whatever.”
***
Remus’ POV.
Harry’s stunned silence came to a fast close.
“Moony?” Harry mumbled to himself, confused. It took a few beats to process, and then: “Wait, Moony?! This is Moony?!” All eyes turned to Harry with wide-eyed stares, all of them completely having missed the fact that they had just revealed Remus as Moony. Harry pointed an accusing finger at Remus and then threw his hands up to his hair, tugging the already messier-than-usual hair out of place. “You are Moony? What the fuck!”
Remus, James and Lily were shocked into silence by Harry’s use of language for only a millisecond before they all burst into disbelieving laughter. Harry, who looked like he was doing his best not to laugh, was also looking stern and confused. Very confused.
Remus stepped away from Lily and toward Harry. His hands were clammy, and he felt so much more nervous than he did walking up to their front door.
“Hello, Harry,” he offered warily.
Harry just sort of stared at him, jaw dropped wide open, eyes bulging, clearly in a state of bafflement. “I–” he started, but cut himself off as he took off in a sprint and abruptly body slammed into Remus.
The hug caught Remus off guard. His arms automatically shot out and wrapped around Harry, but he was shooting James and Lily a what do I do look. He just didn’t expect this to happen yet, he wasn’t prepared. He thought they would sit Harry down and have a conversation. He was prepared to be yelled at, to be ignored. He was not prepared for Harry to just fucking hug him. Like he didn’t abandon him.
Despite the self-deprecating feelings rushing to the forefront of his mind, Remus let himself enjoy this. This was the first time he was hugging Harry since he was an infant, and Remus was going to fucking enjoy it. This was his nephew, the boy who had entrusted him with so much over the past three months. Harry deserved to have Remus present now.
Harry pulled back and stared up at Remus, assessing him. Remus thought he was going to crumble under the scrutiny when finally, Harry breathed out an amused sigh. “I can’t bloody believe this,” Harry murmured. “I’ve told you so many secrets! You haven’t...” his eyes darted to Lily and James and then back to Remus very quickly, “said anything, have you?”
“No, Harry,” Remus grinned, rubbing a smooth hand over the back of Harry’s head. “Of course not.”
Harry sighed a breath of relief, but James exclaimed, “What secrets!” Harry and Lily both turned unimpressed looks on him. Remus had to laugh at the way James shrunk back at their gazes. “Never mind. Not my business,” he surrendered.
Lily then turned to Remus, her beautiful smile back in place.
“Are you hungry, love?”
Remus couldn’t help the downright desperate groan that came from the back of his throat. He nodded heavily. Lily and James both laughed, while Harry nodded in agreement, already making his way to the dining room.
“I can’t believe you made me forget how hungry I am,” they heard Harry say, and he smiled around the warm feeling in his stomach as they followed him to the table.
Harry sat beside Lily on one side of the table, leaving Remus and James to sit facing them. The huge array of breakfast foods on the table made Remus’ stomach groan loudly, causing an eruption of laughter around the table, while Remus just grinned sheepishly with heated cheeks.
It was strange, being back here.
Strange, because somehow, Remus didn’t feel out of place. Twelve years, and there were no awkward silences or awkward pauses. Remus didn’t feel like he had to impress them, didn’t feel like he had to become someone likeable to make himself worthy of their company. Because he was worthy here already. He felt at peace. At home after a long battle, finally able to share his overflowing love with the people who deserved it.
Remus was finally home. He couldn’t fucking believe it.
When Lily lifted the stasis, the subtle smell of the food became overwhelmingly good, and Remus had to close his eyes for a second to breathe it all in. Godric, he missed the Potters cooking.
Before Lily could even say “Dig in,” James and Harry were grabbing and scooping food like starved animals.
“So,” Harry said through a mouthful of beans, “you staying here for the rest of the break, then?”
“Yes,” Lily and James said in unison, both of them staring at Remus with a look that told him it was not up for discussion.
“Most of it,” Remus replied carefully, shooting a significant glance to Lily and James. It was a full moon on December 29.
“Oh,” James nodded, his cheeks bulged with sausage. The thought made Remus snort. He pointed his sausage-speared fork at Remus. “Yeah, but that’s only one night. Apart from that, you’re staying until you have to go back to school.”
“Are you sure? Really, I don’t want to be a bother–”
“Oh, be quiet,” Harry rolled his eyes. “You just try and leave. I’ll corner you at school. Nowhere to hide there.”
“Don’t make me spill all of your dirty little secrets, kid. I’ll do it,” Remus said with a teasing grin.
He’d obviously never do that, and Harry clearly knew this, what with the chortle that came next. “Yeah, alright. Sure you will.”
Mock offended, Remus put a hand to his chest and gasped, fixing Harry with a hurt look. “I so would!”
Harry waved his fork around nonchalantly. Smirking, he said, “Go on, then.” Lily was smiling at the pair, while James shuffled forward in his seat looking interested in the gossip. Remus faltered. “That’s what I thought,” Harry laughed.
Remus grumbled childishly. “Fine,” he huffed. Harry was looking way too amused. “Next time I catch you out after curfew, you’re getting a detention.”
“He gets enough of those as it is, I don’t think he’ll mind too much,” Lily said disapprovingly, but the amusement in her voice gave her stance on the matter away. She didn’t mind all that much.
“She’s right,” Harry confirmed, chewing a piece of bacon.
“But what would your friend think about that? They’d be getting one too – can’t be a biased professor, right?”
Harry dropped his fork. He glared at Remus. “Do you wish death upon me? Because I promise that it will happen.”
Remus’ eyes were gleaming. Happily, he popped a piece of tomato in his mouth. “I know.”
“Who? Hermione?” James asked. They both ignored him, too occupied having a strange sort of staring competition over their food.
“Fine,” Harry surrendered. “You still have to stay, though.”
“I’ll stay,” he promised.
After they had finished eating, Harry requested Remus’ presence alone in the living room. With his belly sated and full, Remus agreed hesitantly.
Realistically, Remus shouldn’t have been nervous. The introductions had happened, and all was calm in the Potter household. But if you knew Harry, you knew that when he was hungry, he wasn’t able to focus on much else. If Harry was angry, Remus was about to find out.
It didn’t matter though. Remus was ready for any and all emotions Harry was to unleash on him. He never expected Harry to be okay with being abandoned.
With one worried glance to Lily and a smile and a nod in return, Remus followed Harry to the sofa. He stopped before he sat down, pat at his pockets, and when he felt the shrunken parcel in his pocket, he nodded to himself and sat down with a deep breath.
He turned to face Harry who was sat beside him, fidgeting again. But when Remus saw that he was fidgeting with Remus’ own transfigured watch, he softened like fucking butter.
Harry noticed his staring and held his hand out, offering the ball to Remus. “I completely forgot to give this back to you. I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his hand a little when Remus made no move to take it from him. “Take it. You need your watch.”
Instead of taking it from him, Remus reached out and closed his hand around Harry’s, trapping the toy in Harry’s fist. “Keep it. I never even noticed it was missing.”
“But it’s your watch?” Harry said with his brows furrowed in confusion.
“Watches are replaceable,” he smiled, removing his hand from Harry’s and readjusting his position on the couch. “I’d like for you to have something to fiddle with when you’re feeling restless.”
Harry looked up at Remus, his glasses slipping slightly down his nose in the process. “Okay. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me just yet, kiddo,” Remus sighed. He ran a calloused palm over his face and closed his eyes as he breathed out a conflicted breath. When he opened them again, he found Harry’s own, so like Lily’s, staring back at him, confused. “I understand that you must be very cross with me–”
But the rest of his sentence was muffled by the mouth-full of shirt that he had smooshed into his face with force. Harry’s arms were around Remus’ neck and his glasses were digging into his shoulder, and Remus was left to do the only thing he could do; wrap his arms right back around Harry just as desperately and sink into the embrace of his nephew. Because that’s what he could call him now with Harry aware of it. Merlin, it felt good.
“Oh, Haz,” Remus muttered, still muffled by the fabric of Harry’s pyjamas. He ran his hands up and down Harry’s back and clutched lightly at the hair on the nape of Harry’s neck, making sure that this was real and not just some sort of fever dream. “I’m so pleased to see you.”
His eyes watered stubbornly, but Remus managed to hold himself together. He wouldn’t cry in front of Harry. Pulling back, but keeping his hands on Remus’ shoulders, Harry smiled warmly. “I don’t want to hear you apologising. Anyone ever told you that you do that too much?”
Remus chortled, head sinking back into the sofa. “A few times, yeah,” he confirmed, though it was a lot more than just a few times. Poppy had said it to him at least four times in the last month.
“This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had,” Harry whispered, sinking back into the cushions behind him just like Remus had.
“I haven’t even given you your present yet,” said Remus, who’s nerves had come back tenfold. He should’ve just gotten Harry a bloody broom or something.
“You got me a present?” Harry asked, the surprise on his face making Remus frown.
“Of course. I always do.”
“But,” Harry looked worried, and his hand began to squeeze around his fidget ball, “I didn’t get you anything.”
Remus’ heart soared in his chest. “Don’t worry about that, mate. All I need is you and your parents. That’s the best gift I’ll ever receive.”
“You’re just one big softie, aren’t you?” Harry asked teasingly, and Remus just fucking laughed. Harry was so good at making Remus laugh.
“Oh, shut up, you,” Remus said light-heartedly while he was pulling out the wrapped gift from his pocket. He unshrunk it and handed it to Harry, a swarm of jittery birds flying around in his stomach. “It’s nothing special, but I thought you’d enjoy it.”
“Thank you, Moony,” Harry said, and Remus completely missed as Harry ripped at the wrapping, because he had just been addressed as ‘Moony’ so casually, as if it didn’t make Remus’ heart stop for a worrying few moments.
“Oh,” was the soft noise that erupted from Harry as he gazed down at the first page of the open photo album. There were no photos on this page, just blank white with Remus’ scratchy handwritten words.
Harry,
I have had the pleasure to watch you grow up – through photographs, and now through my own eyes. It’s been a pleasure, and it will no doubt continue to be a pleasure. I thought that you deserved to see how I grew up through photographs, too. So here in this album are my favourite people and my favourite memories. It’s only half full, in the hopes that you will fill the rest of it with your own memories.
Happy Christmas, kid.
Your Uncle Moony, always.
Harry looked up from the page with tears in his eyes and assessed Remus. “Nothing special?” Remus just shrugged, his cheeks heating. “This is the most special thing I own.”
Remus brushed him off with an awkward chuckle. “You haven’t even seen the pictures yet. They could be shit.”
“Even without the pictures, it would be the most special thing I own,” Harry said, so sincere that Remus began to feel emotional. “No competition. Thank you. Really, thank you so much.”
“It’s alright, Harry,” Remus choked out, then cleared his throat, embarrassed.
Harry flipped the page and smiled. The first was a photo of Remus and James at King’s Cross in their first year, having just found each other on the platform after their very first Christmas break. Remus remembered it well. There was a shout of his name, and suddenly, the very gangly-limbed James Potter was by his side, smiling so wide and free before tackling him in a brotherly embrace. It was his first time meeting Effie and Monty, and he loved them in an instant. Effie had clapped her hand to her forehead and declared “Oh, aren’t you boys just the sweetest! I must take a picture. Smile!”
“James’ mum took that photo,” Remus told him with a content hum. “She was always very kind to me.”
“They died before I was born, didn’t they?” Harry asked quietly.
“Yes,” Remus confirmed, matching Harry’s tone. “But they were so happy when your mum and dad told them Lily was pregnant. Monty even took up knitting to make you some baby clothes.”
“Yeah?” Harry asked, eyes bright. “Were they any good?”
Remus laughed fondly, shaking his head. “They were horrific. He was proud of them anyway, though, even if nothing he made was possible to get you in.”
They continued to flip through the photos. Harry laughed at some of them and pointed out the silly things, like James’ hair. It was just like Harry’s and just like it was now. The next time he lingered on one of the pictures, it was a huge group of teenagers.
“Is that...” Harry trailed off, looking unmistakably at Sirius. Remus sighed. He knew this question was coming, but he wasn’t prepared anyway.
“Yes.”
Harry looked at Remus sadly. “Are you alright?”
“I am now,” he said, and it was true. It still hurt to see Sirius – Remus had sat down and cried into a goblet of Ogden’s finest when putting this album together – but he was getting better at it. It just felt bittersweet now, because if he ignored the pain, he could remember how happy he was in those moments. He was always happy when he was with Sirius. And now he was back in the presence of the Potters, so really, how could he not be okay?
“Who are the rest of these people?”
Remus pointed out himself, standing so close, too close to Sirius to pass as platonic. James, who was gazing distractedly at Lily, a sight he knew all too well. Marlene, who was lying on top of Mary with that beautiful smirk that she always wore. Mary, who was in the middle of rolling her eyes at Marlene. Sirius had his fingers in her hair. Alice and Frank were there, too, and Harry recognised them straight away as Neville's parents, despite never having met them. The Prewett twins, who made Harry laugh because “They look just like Ron!”
And then there was Peter. Peter who looked so ridiculously happy tucked in between Mary and Frank. Peter, who made Remus’ heart clench painfully. Peter, who Remus could barely stand to look at without his stomach curling with guilt.
The next photo had Peter in it, too. It was the four of them, James, Sirius, Peter and himself, in Effie and Monty's back yard during summer ‘75. They were sitting outside, all smiling brightly at the camera with huge ice-cream cones in hand. Sirius’ head was in James’ lap and his feet were across Remus and Peter. It was a great photo. Remus longed to be back in that moment when his only problem was the little furry one – but even that wasn’t much of a problem back then, not when his friends had just begun to join the Moons with him.
Harry flipped the page and Remus’ pulse quietened.
The photo after that was a sneaky one that James had captured, unbeknownst to Sirius. It was the kind of picture that you looked at and instantly felt at peace. Strange, considering the people in the photo were usually so full of chaos – usually caused by one specific person in the picture. It was Regulus, Barty, Evan, Pandora and Dorcas. James thought it was sweet, the way that they were all sprawled across each other as they gazed quietly at the Great Lake. Barty, said chaos causer, seemed to be snoozing with Evans hand running through his hair. Regulus was smiling serenely at Pandora and Dorcas, who looked to be pointing at oddly shaped clouds.
Next, he stopped on a picture of himself and Remus.
“You were so bloody cute,” Remus smiled. “I had no idea what to do with you. This was right after James and Lily brought you home.”
“Our first picture together,” Harry muttered to himself, sounding awed.
“Yeah,” Remus said, chest tight with love. “Lily took this photo. James and–” he cleared his throat. “James and Padfoot couldn’t stop crying. Most loved baby on the planet, you were.”
Harry seemed to be contemplating that, his eyes unfocused and far away. After a moment, his hesitant eyes met Remus’. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything,” Remus replied easily.
“Who is Padfoot?”
Remus should’ve expected it. He didn’t. Stiffly, he answered, “I think your dad should be the one to answer that. I’m sorry.”
Harry’s lip quirked upwards. “Don’t be,” he soothed. “You’re right, anyway. It wasn’t fair for me to ask.”
Remus smiled and pulled Harry into a side-hug. “You’re a gem.”
“Hey, Moony?” Harry asked tentatively. Remus hummed in response; eyes closed as he rested against him. “You once told me that you were certain my Uncle Moony loves me?”
Remus turned his head and pressed his forehead against Harry’s. “I meant it,” he said earnestly. “I love you with my whole bloody heart, kiddo. I almost told you right then and there.”
Harry nuzzled his head into Remus’ neck, an intimate embrace between uncle and nephew. “I love you, too,” Harry whispered. Remus’ already shut eyes squeezed tightly together, and a lump formed in his throat. He pressed a gentle kiss to Harry’s hair.
They stayed that way for a long time. Minutes passed, but the knot in Remus’ throat did not. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Harry nodded, removing himself from the tangle of limbs.
“Okay,” Harry smiled, settling back into the couch and stretching like a tired cat.
Remus’ eyes began to water against his control before he even left the room, but when he walked into the kitchen and saw Lily and James sat at the table, hands intertwined and speaking in hushed tones, tears started to trickle down his face until he couldn’t see through them.
He felt arms around him, leading him to one of the chairs, and when he sat down, he buried his face in his hands and wept. Wept for their lost time; wept for their lost friends; wept for the love that consumed him; wept because he was spending Christmas with his family after such a long time apart.
Lily was sat beside him, his hands in hers, and James was behind him, arms around him and pressing chaste kisses into his hair every so often. They were the true definition of comfort.
Eventually, after much longer than Remus thought possible, his tears slowed, and he lifted his head, meeting the concerned eyes of Lily. She flicked her wand and a plate of biscuits and a cup of tea appeared in front of him, making him snort unattractively. “Thanks, love. Sorry.”
“Stop apologising, Remus. Seriously, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Did your talk with Harry go okay?” James asked nervously, obviously thinking that Harry had scolded him to tears, or something.
Remus laughed, another few tears falling. “He’s an angel, that one.”
“Yeah,” Lily smiled fondly. “He takes after his uncle.”
“Don’t flatter me,” Remus said, secretly pleased as his blew on his drink. “I expected him to be so furious with me. I’m still waiting for it to come from you two as well.”
“Why on earth would we be?” James asked in a way that made it seem like such an outrageous thought to have.
“I left when you needed me to stay. I missed Harry’s whole childhood. I didn’t answer a single letter for twelve years. I showed up unannounced on Christmas. I lied to Harry for months about who I really am,” Remus listed off. “Would you like me to continue?”
“Nope!” Lily chirped, snapping a biscuit in half before taking a bite from one of the halves. “We’re not interested in all of the reasons you think you’re a bad person. Because you’re not, and no one in this house will ever think you are. So, why don’t you have a biscuit and relax, yeah?”
“What she said,” James chimed in, but his voice was thick and wobbly. Remus turned around and found a pouting James. He raised a questioning brow and tugged James closer by his shirt, resting his head on James’ stomach. “Sorry. I just don’t like it when you talk about yourself like that. Like you’re not the bravest person I know.”
His hands were carding through Remus’ hair restlessly and Remus’ breath hitched as another sob worked its way up his throat. He managed to swallow it back down and look up at James. “I love you, you know?” and then he looked at Lily and repeated the sentiment. “And you. I love you.”
It was at that moment that Harry decided to enter the room. He took one look at the scene before him and suddenly he was rushing to Remus’ side and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Uncle Moony? Are you okay?”
And Remus promptly buried his face in his hands and burst into tears once more.
Uncle Moony. Uncle Moony. Uncle Moony. Not ‘Professor Lupin’, no; never again. Uncle Moony. Uncle Moony. Uncle Moony.
Through the gaps in his fingers, Remus saw the horrified look on Harry’s face as he gazed frantically between Remus, Lily and James. If his tears weren’t so prominent, Remus would have laughed.
Lily pulled Harry into her side and rubbed a soothing hand over his back. “He’s alright, love,” Lily told him, and yeah, he really fucking was. More than he had been in a long bloody time.
A moment later, a handsome owl that Remus was sure he had seen before swooped through the open kitchen window and landed on Harry’s shoulder. It stuck its leg out impatiently, presenting a scroll of parchment. Harry untied the letter while James appeared with owl treats. He fed the bird while Harry read the letter, his cheeks growing redder and redder by the second.
That’s when it clicked for Remus. That was the Malfoy owl.
“What?” Harry asked defensively when he saw Remus’ smirk – a smirk that probably looked ridiculous when paired with swollen, red-rimmed eyes. Remus didn’t care; this was too good.
“Oh, nothing,” Remus mused innocently. James and Lily looked between them, confused. “Someone wishing you a happy Christmas, then?”
“Yes, so what?” Remus smiled devilishly at Harry’s tone. It widened when Harry’s eyes narrowed, and he pointed an accusing finger right at Remus’ nose. “You. Zip it.”
Remus laughed right in his embarrassed little face, but said nothing, anyway.
Sudden realisation crossed over Harry’s face before his eyes widened and a bright grin spread across his face. “Wait!” he exclaimed, looking between Remus and his parents. “So it really wasn’t an old lover?!”
“No, you bloody tosser!” Remus laughed in surprise, unaware of James and Lily growing more and more confused by the second. “Goodness me, Harry, did you really not believe me?”
“Well... no. I thought you had a secret boyfriend.”
“You little shit, it was your parents!” Remus cackled, unable to stop fucking laughing. This kid... Harry laughed along, clutching at his stomach before Lily cleared her throat.
“What was us?”
“He found me all smiley in the corridor after that day I first got in contact with you and I told him I’d been speaking to an old friend, which he took to mean an old lover. I told him a million times that it wasn’t, but I thought he was just teasing me!”
James and Lily began to laugh in earnest, which made Harry and Remus join in, too, and soon, the kitchen was full of four breathless people. When they calmed down, James wiped away a stray tear and asked Harry: “Why did you assume it was a boyfriend? You know, instead of a girlfriend or something.”
Harry gave Remus a dramatic once over and turned to James with what Remus could only interpret as an are you fucking kidding me look. Remus snorted into his tea. “You mean apart from the fact that he’s very clearly a homosexual?”
“Harry!” James scolded, shocked that his son would speak in such a way. But Remus, who knew that Harry was also ‘a homosexual’, as he so eloquently put it, just erupted into a full-on belly laugh.
Harry grinned, and it was so like James that Remus had to glance back and forth between them a few times, blinking back unshed tears. From his laughter, or from the sudden wave of emotions, Remus did not know.
“I’m kidding! He told me, although he doesn’t really give off ‘straight macho man’ vibes, does he?” Harry said, so seriously that Lily had to cover her mouth to hide her snort. Traitor.
“I’ll have you know that I am very manly,” Remus said, but Harry and James ignored him. James then gave Remus the same once over that Harry did and nodded his head slowly in agreement.
“You’re right,” he conceded.
“Wait,” Lily said. “Remus! Why are you going around telling your students about your personal life? That’s not very professional!”
He laughed at her stern tone. Godric, he missed her. “I only told Harry! I didn’t just announce it to the class!”
“Yeah,” Harry said smugly. “I’m his favourite student.”
Remus rolled his eyes, but he agreed anyway. He would have been lying if he didn’t. “He thought I fancied you at one point,” Remus told Lily, snickering when James frowned and put a protective arm around his wife.
Lily pushed him away, laughing at his pout. “Remus is one very gay man, and I am one very married woman. What are you getting possessive about?” Lily chuckled, pulling him back in and giving him a sweet kiss.
“What brought up that topic, anyway?” Lily asked, a fair question that Remus could not answer, because Remus’ sexuality only came up when Harry was sharing his. As far as Remus knew, he was the only person who knew that Harry was gay.
His eyes darted to Harry, who met them with a panicked look. Remus shook his head, trying to tell him you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to, but Harry’s face set into an expression of determination, and he moved close enough to hold Remus’ hand. Once his hand was firmly in Remus’, Remus gave it a squeeze and nodded his head, smiling encouragingly.
He faced his parents. “Moony told me he was gay because I was worried that he would think differently of me when I told him that I was gay. Oh,” he added and faced Remus. “I’m not actually gay. I think I’m bisexual. There are some well fit girls at school.”
Remus laughed, shaking his head. He loved this little idiot so much.
“Oh, Harry,” James breathed out before engulfing him in what looked like a bone crushing hug. “We would never think any differently of you if that’s something you’re worried about. Who you love doesn’t change who you are. I love you.”
Lily joined the embrace, her hand stroking through Harry’s mop of hair gently. Remus smiled softly at the sight. “We’ll love you forever, Harry. Any young man or woman will be so lucky to have you as their partner.”
Harry found a gap where he was squished between his parents and stuck an arm out. “Come on,” he said, and Remus huffed happily before joining the embrace. “I love you all,” Harry said sincerely. Remus was feeling a little teary.
When they separated, there was a second of silence before Harry declared, “It’s photo time. I need to add to my album. Come on, get in the front room.”
Once herded into the living room and organised precisely by Harry – Lily squished between himself and James, her perfectly manicured fingers holding each of them by their chins gently and their arms around her – he collected his new camera from the coffee table and held it to his face. As he looked through the lense, he squinted and said: “Dad, stop doing bunny ears behind Moony’s head!” which prompted all three of them to laugh and mess up their positions, much to the displeasure of Harry.
After that photo was successfully taken, Remus picked the camera from Harry’s hands and told him to sit down. From there, he had Harry lie across Lily and James’ laps and directed them all to make silly faces. They did, and the picture turned out perfectly.
James claimed the camera next, and Lily stood beside him cooing as Remus and Harry sat with their arms around each other, smiling blindingly. The flash of the camera made their eyes squint, and Remus had to blink a few times to get the white spots to disappear from his vision.
“Do you reckon there’s a way to set a timer so we can all take one at the same time?” Harry asked, and Lily gave him a cheeky grin before snatching the camera from James and fiddling with it for a second, before whispering “Wingardium Leviosa.” The camera began to hover in front of them, and Lily and James only had ten seconds to join Harry and Remus on the couch before the flash of the camera went off.
It was safe to say that they weren’t prepared. James’ antlers had fallen down and were dangling precariously in front of his face; Lily had managed to get her hair caught in Harry’s glasses and Remus had somehow gotten caught in the struggle to free her hair and tilted sideways just as the picture was taken.
As they observed the photo, all Remus could think was: We look so stupid and I love my family so much.
Lily multiplied the photos and handed one of each to the three boys and kept one for herself. Remus tucked them away and silently promised to cherish them forever.
“It’s a Christmas miracle,” James bellowed before tackling his son, his wife, and his best friend into the couch.
Yeah, Remus agreed, it really was.