To say Regulus was tired was an understatement. Regulus was more than exhausted, he honestly had no idea how he was still alive at this point. Sirius had left him. He still didn't fully understand it even though it had now been 3 months since his brother first disappeared during the night. He's not too sure what happened for him to leave but it must have been bad because his brain fully shut off his memories. He keeps on trying to remember what happened, why sirius didn't take him with them but his brain seems to have decided he shouldn't get to know. So Reg has been crying himself to sleep trying to deal with everything.
The young boy didn't only lose his brother that night, he also lost the very little control he had over his life, he lost his will to fight against the torture of his parents and found himself to calm down at the pain because at the very least the pain was a constant in his life. No one you knew how truly awful his life had gotten. Almost everyday he would receive a letter from Walburga telling him what he should and shouldn't do, informing him of new plans, new ways she planned to control his life. This is honestly the least worrying part of the torture Walburga makes him go through, yes she planned to marry him off to a cousin, and yes Reg received a letter this morning informing him he was set to get the dark mark in a month from now but that was nothing. What truly hurt was being confined to a closet with a boggart in it for hours on end during the Christmas break. "To thoughen him up" Orion had told him, because the heir of the noble and most ancient house black could not fear anything. It was pure torture seeing his brother being killed in front him over and over again, seeing stupid Potter being stabbed by his parents while they laugh, it was all just pure cruelity. Regulus thinks this is worse than any hours under the cruciatus curse, he would take the pain any day over facing a boggart with nowhere to run, and obviously no wand.
All of this being said Regulus was tired, exhausted truly so really Sirius shouldn't have been surprised when he lashed out at him, because that's what he does best. His mind is all jumbled up and he just can't figure out if he truly meant his words maybe he did, he doesn't want to though.
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Regulus was about to enter the slytherin common room when he was dragged by the arm by no other than his brother, Sirius. Sirius had barely started talking and Regulus was already fuming, "Reggie please I just want to talk. Hear me out you can leave too you just have to be brave, you just have to want it. Prongs can take you in, his parents are amazing Reg you know his mom calls me darling and she even uses the right pronouns and merlin Effie gives great hugs too-" And Sirius may have had good intentions but this just made Regulus even angrier at her, because how dare they stand here and brag about the amazing life he got once he left her brother.
"Sirius shut the fuck up you fucking asshole"
Regulus couldn't hold it in anymore he had to let it out, maybe it wasn't fair to Sirius but he couldn't stay here and not say anything.
"You are insufferable you stand here and you talk and talk but the reality is you don't really wanna hear the truth. Let me tell you the truth, it is blatantly obvious to anyone who ever fucking knew you that all you ever want is to be right even if you have to lie. Don't tell me how amazing they all are when I know you still cry yourself to sleep at night because you can't just move one from what our parents did! You can't! Stop pretending you can. You know throughout all of this the only thing you've proven is that there is no one who has ever done better at making me feel worse!"
Sirius started visibly shaking at that point, tears were rolling down his face and Regulus almost stopped. No matter how angry he was, Sirius was still his sibling and he loved him, but that didn't stop him. It felt like he couldn't control the words coming out of his mouth, "You can cut the bullshit Sirius you win, you're the winner! There's literally nothing that killed me like what you did do you even realize that? You act as if your life is fucking perfect now but remember that it was you, your actions that broke me, you broke me. And now, you have the nerve to miss me? You miss me Sirius, really? Are you so fucking dense you didn't think that's what would happen when you abandoned and quite literally threw me into the hands of abusers, of death eaters? Did you, Sirius, tell me did you think about this? My life is hell now and somehow in all of this I feel guilty because maybe if I had been a better brother you wouldn't have left but fuck that you're the one who let it get this bad. You did this. I want to die, every day I go up to the astronomy tower and contemplate whether or not I should jump and just end it and it's all your fucking fault it's your fault" Regulus cut off with a sob, tasting the salt in mouth from the many tears streaming down his face. His brother didn't look much better, in fact he looked quite worse and when Regulus looked at him and saw them, he regretted it.
Everything he said he regretted. No sight was worse than seeing Sirius like this. The marauder was now on the ground trembling like a leaf in windstorm, sobs tearing through him every few seconds. They was hyper ventilating and Regulus actually became worried for his health that is until James Potter, Sirius' "brother" came to save the day. James crouched in front of Sirius, taking her hands in his, and starting rambling nonsense trying to get his best friend to calm down, "Come Padfoot big breaths, come one take 'em with me. In. Hold. Out. Good, better, you've got it Pads it's ok, let's do it again yeah. In. Hold. Out. You're doing so good, Pads can you squeeze my hands please, for me come on you got it."
Regulus, without his consent, started following James instructions too, his back was facing him so he just stared at his head and followed whatever he was saying. He didn't really mean to, but he had also started to shake and, Regulus would never admit this out loud, but James voice was helping him greatly. It was just so calming, and without realizing it he started calming down a bit. He was still slightly hyper ventilating, no breath he took felt big enough but it was better even if just a bit. Then, to Regulus' surprise James turned to him, behind Sirius was asleep, having exhausted herself to sleep. "Hey Reg can you hear me" Regulus remained unresponsive to James words until the boy took his hands while saying softly, "I'm gonna take your hands ok? I need you to come back to now, we're in the corridor near your dorm, you're safe."
Slowly Regulus lifted his eyes to meet James', he swallowed and he looked back down, James was too pretty for his own good. The boy in question gave Regulus a bright smile when he saw him looking up and just like he did for Sirius, but with what seemed to be... adoration? In his voice James started with his nonsense again. "Alright, big breaths Reg you're still not breathing right. Come on you know the drill, in. Hold. Out. Don't roll your eyes, you need this, come on again you got it. In. Hold. Out. That's it you're doing so good Reg, do you think you can squeeze my hands baby?" And well this sure brought Regulus back to reality because 'baby' was new. James never called him that before and much to his hatred he loved it, loved him. This sadly only made him panic more because the whole situation was fucked he should hate James and- "Hey hey now don't destroy the progress we made, big breaths. Come one in. Hold. Out. Good, come on do it again, with me. In. Hold. Out. It's ok, you're ok, I've got you. How about you squeeze my hands yeah? Focus on that sensation, good. It's ok you can keep on squeezing if it helps. Yes, that's it you're so good for me love, come on another big breath" And Regulus decided to give up at this point, he fell forward on James chest, seeking the comfort he desperately needed, he felt the tension ease out at the contact, not fully because this is real life and a hug can't solve everything but it helped.
But, if anything, Regulus is a masochist so with a deep sigh he ignored that James was tightening his hold on him trying to keep him close and he left the comfort of his arms a slight sob coming out and then he just ran. He didn't think much about where he just knew he needed to go so he ran and he found himself in small alcove hidden away from the rest of the school. He sat back, trying to enjoy the peace but he only ended crying harder, and harder, until he fell asleep exhausted by the days events. As he fell asleep, his thoughts went to Sirius and James and he fell into a deep slumber tormented with nightmares starring the two marauders.