Sirius woke up to a scream and he instantly sat up bolt upright, covers pooling around his waist blinking hard trying to orient himself. Next to him Remus was lying with the covers pulled up to his chin and was rubbing his eyes. The curtains on the four poster had been pulled back and there stood James Potter, screaming his head off.
“Bloody hell Potter what’s going…” Peter trailed off as he came out of the bathroom toothbrush dropping out of his mouth. Sirius scrambled for a shirt and pulled it on, realizing moments later that it was actually Remus’s.
“You two are shagging!” Remus opened his mouth and then closed it again and James looked stricken. “You are, you can’t even deny it!” Peter stared for a few moments before laughing.
“I owe Lily so much money.” James let out another wounded cry.
“You’re shagging!”
“Yes we’re shagging would you shut the bloody hell up before you wake half the castle?” Sirius snapped as he fixed his hair. He remained sitting in bed however and James groaned.
“You don’t even have clothes on, Merlin, put some pants on!”
“Well we would have if you two had just gone down to the quittich pitch this morning like you said you would! Now kindly shut up, just because you’re straight as a pin doesn’t mean we all have to be.” James paused for a moment his misery temporarily forgotten in his confusion.
“I’m not straight?” Remus finally spoke.
“You’re not?” James shook his head.
“I thought you and Peter were the straight ones.” Remus shook his head.
“Nope, I’m pretty well bent.” Sirius looked mildly offended.
“How come I wasn’t an option?” James just stared at him for a moment before Sirius nodded. “Good point. So Pete, are you a poof too or did we accidentally make an all gay friend group except for you?” Peter shifted uncomfortably.
“Well I just… don’t like anyone.” Remus chuckled.
“So we’re all poofs of one kind or another then.” There was a general murmuring of agreement before James looked back over at them and noticed Sirius’s trousers at the bottom of the bed.
“But you two still shagged!” Sirius nodded.
“We established that.”
“In the dorms!”
“It appears so.”
“Oh Merlin please tell me we weren’t here.” Sirius paused and James wailed.
“My innocence!” Remus rolled his eyes.
“Your innocence nothing. One you never had any and two you didn’t hear anything.”
“My soul!” He flopped back on Sirius’s empty bed but immediately scrambled back up. “I supposed you’ve shagged on this one too?” Remus bit back a grin and he shrieked. “Nothing is safe anymore run Peter!” He grabbed his broom and ran out the door. Peter shook his head and returned his toothbrush to the bathroom.
“If you two aren’t decent by time he gets back he’s going to have a heart attack.” Then he headed out the door after James. Sirius and Remus burst out laughing. Sirius laid back down and cuddled up next to Remus.
“Just two guys, chilling in a bed, because they’re really gay.”