Chapter 15
Lysander shared a room with three seventh-year boys named Peter, Edward, and Thomas. He didn’t get along very well with them, so he always got up either earlier or later than them to avoid speaking with them. It was exhausting, but he was used to it.
Today he had woken up at five in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. He decided to get dressed and leave the room. The Ravenclaw common room was empty. He went down to the Great Hall and was surprised to find a few people eating there. He didn’t know the Great Hall opened so early.
He sat alone at the Ravenclaw table and began eating quietly, lost in his thoughts, until a Gryffindor boy approached him.
“Hey, mate, the Gryffindor table isn’t this one, it’s over there.” The boy pointed with his hand to the table on the far left. Lysander looked at him, confused. “Come on.” The boy grabbed him by the arm and forced him to go to the Gryffindor table. There was no room for explanations; they sat at the table. “Mate, how did you get here so quickly? Just a second ago you were by the lake.” Lysander realized what was happening; the boy was mistaking him for his brother. “And what were you doing by the lake at five in the morning?” Lysander stopped the boy’s questions.
“I’m not Lorcan, I’m his brother.” The boy turned red with embarrassment.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Lysander let out a small nervous laugh.
“It’s okay. I’m Lysander.” He extended his hand, and the boy shook it.
“I’m Jack.” They shook hands, and Lysander stood up to leave. “Mate, you should go check on your brother. He didn’t look too good last night.” Lysander thanked Jack and headed straight to the lake without hesitation.
He arrived at the lake and looked around for Lorcan. He spotted him on the opposite side from where he was. He ran to where Lorcan was and was surprised to see him crying. He hadn’t seen Lorcan cry since their second year.
He sat down next to him, and Lorcan immediately stopped crying when he noticed his brother’s presence. Lysander noticed Lorcan had a letter in his hand.
“Lorcan, what happened?” Lysander was genuinely worried.
“Nothing, Lys, I’m fine, don’t worry.” Lorcan tried to reassure his brother.
“Lorc, I haven’t seen you cry in years. Something must be wrong. What happened?” Lysander wasn’t leaving without an answer. His brother had helped him through his worst moments; he wanted to help too, even if just this once.
“Nothing, nothing, don’t worry.” Lorcan discreetly put the letter away. “How’s everything with Lily?” Lorcan tried to change the subject.
“Good, but don’t change the subject. What happened?” Lorcan wouldn’t tell his brother; he didn’t want to make him feel guilty.
“I already told you, nothing.” Lorcan shouted at his brother.
“I don’t believe you. What happened? Let me help.” Lysander shouted back.
“NO, because nothing happened.”
“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.” Lorcan jumped up.
“I told you nothing is wrong, and if you don’t believe me, that’s not my problem.” Lorcan started to walk away, and a letter fell from his pocket. Lysander picked up the letter and sat back down by the lake, debating whether to open it or not. He eventually decided to read it.
He opened the letter and began to read:
---
Hello Lorcan,
I know you’ll be surprised that I’m writing to you after so long, but since we broke up, I’ve been forcing myself to forget you and move on, but I couldn’t do it. I still love you.
I know it’s very selfish of me to tell you this after being the one who ruined everything. I’m not writing to get back together (you probably don’t want me anymore, years have passed, and only someone as crazy as I am would still be unable to forget the person they love), I’m writing to apologize.
I shouldn’t have done what I did. I shouldn’t have deceived you. It wasn’t right, but I also want you to understand me. I was an insecure, foolish girl in love who felt her boyfriend was drifting away, who no longer wanted her.
From one school year to the next, you changed drastically. You were withdrawn, never left your brother’s side, cried when you thought no one was watching, and although you tried not to show it, it was noticeable you were distant. I believed it was my fault, that you no longer loved me and that you were acting this way because you felt obligated to be with me (I know, a stupid thought, the world doesn’t revolve around me), and I was insecure and not thinking coherently, and well, you know what happened.
I don’t want to justify myself or anything like that, I just wanted you to know why I did what I did and that I’m truly sorry.
I also wanted to write to close this chapter, to finally move on and leave you behind. What we had is over, and now I’m clear about that. What we had wasn’t meant to work. I don’t know what was going on with you, but it wouldn’t have worked anyway. I’m a person who needs others to be there for me just as I am there for them, and you didn’t seem to be in that place.
Maybe if you had told me what was happening, I could have helped you.
Now I see you’ve become the person you were when I met you. I see you’re happy. I don’t know what changed, but I’m very happy that you’ve returned to being yourself.
With this letter, I close our chapter (maybe you’ve already closed it a long time ago, but I haven’t). I’m moving on with my life. I’ll always love you, and you’ll always be the person I loved for almost my entire adolescence, but now I know we want different things and that our paths are separated. I now know that what we had wouldn’t work, that it ended a long time ago, that the guy I fell in love with in our first year wasn’t the same as the one I dated in my second year. I now know I can move on, and that’s what I’m going to do.
Sorry for writing this letter, but it was necessary to close this chapter of my life.
I hope you’re well, with love, CAT.
---
Lysander folded the letter, feeling a huge pang of guilt. He had never considered everything his brother had sacrificed to help him. He had never noticed the change in his brother’s personality. Was he so caught up in his own suffering that he didn’t see his brother’s? He was responsible for Lorcan and Catherin’s breakup. How could he have been so blind?
Lysander got up and ran to find his brother. He saw him entering the Great Hall, stopped him, and handed him the letter. Lorcan’s eyes widened.
“Did you read it?” he asked, still looking at the letter with concern.
“Yes, and when we get back, I’m going to fix it,” Lorcan shook his head.
“You don’t have to fix anything.”
“Of course I do. It was my fault they broke up.”
“It wasn’t your fault. She deceived me.”
“Yes, because you were too busy making sure I was okay to pay attention to a relationship, and I never realized everything you were going through because I was so blind I didn’t see others’ suffering.” Lysander shouted, exasperated.
“Lysander, how did you expect to see others’ suffering when you couldn’t even take care of yourself?” Lorcan shouted back. He wouldn’t let his brother blame himself like this.
“I should have noticed. I should have helped you.”
“No, you didn’t have to, and you did a lot for me just by getting out of that damn dark place you were in. That’s enough because I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I’d lost you,” Lorcan held back tears, thinking about that day when he almost lost his brother.
“Lorcan, let me help you. Let me explain,” The few people in the Great Hall at 5:30 in the morning said nothing.
“There’s nothing you can do. She made it very clear she no longer wants me,” Lorcan clenched the letter in his fist.
“I’ll try anyway,” Lysander thought for a second and added, “There’s nothing you can do to stop me. It’s my turn to help you.” Lorcan bit his lip nervously.
“If I don’t have a choice, I at least want to be present when you explain,” Lysander nodded. “Okay, let’s go eat. Today you’re eating at the Gryffindor table. I don’t care what others say. You’re my brother, and I have every right to eat with you.” They both went to the almost empty Gryffindor table and sat down.
“Why can’t we have a peaceful meal since you guys arrived?” Jack joked as the brothers sat down.
“I don’t know, I don’t know, mate,” Lorcan replied. “You don’t know how dramatic our lives are.” The three of them laughed. “Oh, I almost forgot. Jack, this is my brother Lysander. Lysander, this is my friend Jack.” They laughed.
“We already introduced ourselves a while ago. I thought it was you, so I dragged him to our table,” Jack explained, and Lorcan laughed.
“Yes, he was the one who told me you weren’t okay.”
“Traitor,” Lorcan gave him a light punch on the shoulder.
“Mate, yesterday you spent an hour staring at an envelope with a blank look. What did you want me to do?” Lorcan rolled his eyes.
After a while, as the Great Hall started filling up, Jack left with his group of friends, leaving the twins alone, though not for long, as Lily, Rose, Hugo, and Louis sat where they were.
“Hi, guys,” Lily greeted, planting a kiss on her boyfriend’s lips as she sat next to him. “What miracle made you sit at our table?” Lily joked, and Lysander rolled his eyes.
“Lorcan convinced me,” he said. He would explain the events of the morning later when they were alone. They shared everything sooner or later.
“Guys, we need to tell you something later,” Hugo suddenly said, surprising Lily and Rose.
“Is it what I think it is?” Rose asked with wide eyes. Louis nodded, earning a shout of excitement from Rose and a big smile from Lily.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Lorcan interrupted the code conversation they were having and didn’t understand at all.
“You’ll find out in a bit, cousin,” Rose replied as she stood up from where she had just sat. “I’m going to inform the rest.” Rose disappeared immediately, and Louis and Hugo laughed at Rose’s excitement.
“Okay, I’m officially confused,” Lysander joked. Hugo and Louis tried to downplay the topic and changed the subject of conversation.
“It’s nothing out of the ordinary. Rose is exaggerating,” Hugo said, trying not to sound nervous. He was nervous, though he didn’t know why.
“Does anyone know what happened to Alice? When I went to drop something off at her room yesterday, I noticed she seemed odd and a bit sad,” Lily asked first to change the subject and second because she was worried about her friend.
“No, no idea,” everyone shook their heads.
“Mm… well, I’ll ask him later,” Lily erased the topic from her mind and returned to her smile.
The five of them chatted and ate until Victoire joined the conversation.
“Hi guys,” she looked around and added, “Hi Ly’s, it’s strange to see you here.” Lysander just rolled his eyes.
“Vic, did Rose tell you about the mini Weasley meeting?” The Weasley cousins from the third generation referred to their meetings as “mini Weasley meetings” where they discussed specific things they wouldn’t share with the rest of the family, or adults. There were different types of “mini Weasley meetings”: “GIRLS mini Weasley meeting,” which was ONLY for girls, no boys allowed; “BOYS mini Weasley meeting,” only for boys; “EMERGENCY mini Weasley meeting,” for important, serious, or urgent matters; and finally, “mini Weasley meeting,” where everyone was invited, including the Scamander, Longbottom, Malfoy, and Kate families.
“No, I didn’t run into her. When is it, and who called it?” Victoria sat down.
“Strange, she said she would inform everyone, well, it’s now, after breakfast, and Hugo called it. Could you let Teddy know?” Victoria nodded and got up again to inform Teddy.
At that moment, a very angry Rose stormed into the Great Hall, approached where they were sitting, and everyone looked at her nervously. Nobody wanted to be the cause of Rose’s anger; everyone was reflecting on every word they had recently said to her, trying to figure out if her anger was directed at them.
“I’m going to kill her when I see her,” Rose exclaimed as she sat down, and the boys relaxed; she wasn’t angry with them.
“What happened, Rose?” Lily asked hesitantly. Rose relaxed her gaze.
“Nothing, nothing,” Lily also relaxed. “By the way, I already informed Albus and Scorp.” Hugo nodded, and no one asked any more questions.
The rest of the breakfast continued in silence, and after a few minutes, when everyone had finished eating, they got up and headed to the Room of Requirement, one of the only places they could enter at this hour, and where everyone could go.
About ten minutes later, the thirteen of them were in the Room of Requirement. There was an uncomfortable atmosphere, though it was only noticed by Albus, Scorpius, Rose, and Alice. Hugo stood up and began to speak.
“Alright, let’s make this quick. I’m gay; I like boys.” Everyone looked at him for a second without saying a word until Teddy spoke.
“Thanks for telling us, Hugo.” Hugo knew his cousins would never judge him, which is why he had done it so quickly and almost without nerves. Hugo hugged Teddy.
“Any special guy?” Victoire asked playfully.
“Yes.” Everyone got excited. Whenever gossip came up, they all got excited and put aside any worries. Gossip always won.
“WHO!?” Victoire almost shouted.
“DO WE KNOW HIM!?” Lorcan asked with the same excitement.
“I suppose so, though I’m not sure,” Lily, Louis, and Rose laughed at this.
“Who is he?” Teddy insisted.
“I think it’s better to let him introduce himself,” everyone’s eyes widened in surprise as they saw Louis stand up and approach Hugo.
“I suppose you could say you know me,” everyone laughed.
“OMG, my little brother has a boyfriend,” Victoire was overly excited.
“Yes,” Louis hugged his sister. The golden trio and Alice weren’t paying much attention to what was happening. Rose was sending murderous looks at Alice, Albus was ignoring Alice, Scorp was making sure Albus didn’t start crying, and Alice was trying not to cry herself.
“Uh, what news, I’m in shock, this took me by surprise,” Lily acted dramatically, earning laughter from some.
“Ahh, Lily found out before me, your own sister?” Victoire acted offended, and Louis just laughed.
“Guys, taking advantage of the fact that we’re all here, we also have news,” Teddy commented. “Victoire and I are going to leave Hogwarts tomorrow to spend more time with our parents and investigate our jobs a bit,” Teddy explained, causing Lily to look sad.
“I guess we’ll be without you again at Hogwarts,” James said jokingly.
Lysander looked at his muggle watch and jumped when he saw the time.
“GUYS, CLASSES START IN 5 MINUTES!” Everyone’s eyes widened in shock, and they all ran off to their respective classes.
When did time pass so quickly?