2
“Hi,” James greets Remus on his way through the halls. The curly boy doesn’t respond, barely sparing a look for his brother’s best friend before continuing in his steps, head down and eyes fixed on the tips of his black stainless leather shoes. The black family has always been wealthy, and even though Sirius doesn’t take any money from them anymore and still lives off the amount he has, Regulus still has not left his parents, living under their roof, following their rules, taking their money. It’s not exactly his choice per se, but unlike his brother, he has never had the courage to speak up or do anything about the way his parents have treated their children. He ignores the occasional bruises and dried tears quickly wiped off and focuses on the privilege of a warm bed, food to eat and the poisonous comfort of the name Black.
“Never mind,” James murmurs when he, once again, doesn’t get the slightest response. It’s not a surprise, it’s always been like that, but he still always tries, nevertheless. He’s known Regulus for many years now, and he knows what a warm heart the kid has, but always shielded from the cold harsh world.
Sometimes, you’re in the dark for too long to be able to imagine the option of light.
///
Remus is five minutes from home. He’s five minutes from his boyfriend, he’s five minutes from yelling, he’s five minutes from fighting, Remus is five minutes away from pain.
“Hello?” he calls out upon unlocking the door and stepping inside. It’s silent as he takes off his shoes and coat and steps further into the flat. He’s sure it’s not empty, no shoes were missing, and fireplace was lit. The sandwich feels heavy in his stomach and the tissue hidden safely in his trousers, cradling Sirius’ phone number, burns. It burns with flames licking up his leg and travelling up to his chest and the longer the flat is silent the louder his heart is, pumping against his chest. Remus can’t even hear the cracking of fire over the annoying and ever so familiar ringing in his ears.
“Now you’re home?” a deep voice asks from the dark corner of the room that the light from the fireplace doesn’t reach. A tall figure stands up from the armchair and slowly starts making their way towards the boy. A smaller figure of their dog stays in its place, not making a sound.
“Sev, hi,” Remus greets with his voice thin as a thread and all colour disappearing from his face. He drops his bag on the ground, the books heavier on his shoulder every minute he held them. He doesn’t expect the sound to be so loud and jumps up a little, so tight and on the edge with anticipation and anxiety. And maybe panic. Maybe.
“Hi?” Severus steps into the light, his eyebrows furrowed, face so serious, eyes dark.
Severus’ eyes were always dark, matching his Doberman. It was already Severus’ hen they got together, never really liking Remus.
“Is that what you say? Hi?” the distance between the two boys was not enough at all to make Remus feel not suffocated.
“What should I say? Look, I’m sorry I didn’t come home, it was dark when the library closed and way too cold for me to come back and-“ Remus tries to explain himself, having false hope he could avoid the unavoidable.
“Why do you always try to make up excuses?” Severus asks, too calm. You could only see his eyes travel over Remus’ body, as if he was planning what to do already. “And, more importantly, why do you ever think I’m gonna buy it? That I will believe it? Why do you think I will believe you?”
Remus freezes. He can’t even blink, only his hands shaking violently. “I-uhm, I don’t- I didn’t… that’s not what-“ Remus tries to defend himself, but he feels so weak and powerless under Severus’ stare.
“That’s not what? So I’m supposed to think you’re not cheating on me? Am I supposed to think you don’t go around saying shit about me? Huh?”
“Of course I’m not, I would never-“ Remus is fully desperate to do anything now that his boyfriend raises his hand and his palm makes contact with the boy’s cheek. He winces, but wills himself to stay still.
“Do you even realize how you make me feel?” Severus asks, a look of pain on his face that is surprisingly convincing. “Are you really so selfish ti not thing how much it hurts me?” he continues.
Another hit, this time, a punch.
Remus’ head flies to the side, yet he still stays where he is. Severus’ rings leave marks on his skin and bring blood up to stain his face.
“I’m sorry,” Remus breathes out with teary eyes and a shaking lip. He absolutely hates how he can’t control his emotions when with Severus. Just seeing his face tears down the protective wall he works so hard on building and bares his raw emotions.
“An apology means nothing!” Severus yells.
Another hit, this time in Remus’ side, bruising his ribs.
That’s when Remus falls over, clutching and his chest and breathing heavily. I lonely tear makes its way down his face, but Remus wipes it quickly. He isn’t going to cry.
“Are you this weak?” his boyfriend scoffs, “or are you acting as a little bitch? Come on, Remus, you must realize you’re not some victim.” Hearing his own name from Severus’ mouth sends a wave of nausea through his body. “And don’t even act like this scarf could be yours. You couldn’t even afford to touch it,” Severus smirks as he reaches out to take the scarf from around Remus’ neck. That’s when the shorter boy’s arm shoots up unconsciously to stop him, which only causes one thing.
Another hit, this time, a kick to the stomach.
And then to his side.
Stomach again.
Chest.
Side.
Chest.
Stomach.
The hits and kicks keep coming and Remus has no idea what to do with them than to attempt to protect his head. He can hear the dog bark, but it’s barely audible as if it’s coming from a great distance.
Stomach.
Hips.
Chest.
Finally, face.
And then…
Black.
…///
Sirius gets to the lecture hall for his class late. But, to be honest, nobody expects him to be on time anywhere anymore, so the professor just shakes her head and waves her hand for him to take his seat. He runs up to the last rows and settles down before looking around for the familiar mess of light brown hair.
He doesn’t find it. Secretly, Sirius checks his phone for any missed calls or messages from his new friend but doesn’t find any. Strange.
“Have you seen Remus?” Sirius asks James in a half-whisper, catching his attention from the notes in front of him. James always gets to the class at least on time, almost always before Sirius, though he does have to run a lot.
“No, not since morning,” James shrugs and takes a look around the room to check. He comes to the same result as Sirius has. “Maybe he stayed home to rest some more or fell asleep without an alarm,” James offers all reasonable reasons, but it does little to assure Sirius. He doesn’t have a good feeling about it, especially when he remembers Remus’ expression when talking about going home. “Didn’t he say he stays with his boyfriend? He should be taken care of,” James continues.
“I guess,” Sirius shrugs, “I’m just worried is all. I hope he calls.” James nods, turning his attention back to the professor. It was time for the horrible exam, and Sirius couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Remus will miss it, moreover, why would he miss it when he was studying so hard.
Sirius just really hopes Remus is alright and feeling well.
///
Remus wakes up to an empty room. He’s still laying on the floor in a mess of his own blood. He cringes when he realizes that and shuffles to get up as quickly as he can. He can’t be sure he’s alone, and he wants to be able to defend himself for more hits. It takes a minute for him to notice he actually has no idea how much time he spent down on the floor, his muscles sore and everything aching under the promise of blue and purple blooming on his skin. He listens for any signs of Severus or the dog being still in the flat. He doesn’t hear any.
Touching his face, he realizes how much his nose hurts, and his fingers find it crooked and swollen. His jaw pops and spreads pain through his head, his chest feels too heavy to breathe in deeply and he’s sick to his stomach.
A sudden flash on energy sends him up on his feet and right to the bathroom right before his aching stomach empties into the toilet. Heat washes over Remus’ body and he gasps for air before wiping his mouth and getting rid of the foul taste. Vomiting was always a fear of his, and it was an even bigger trigger. It burns his nose and makes his head throb even more than it already has.
Even though his abdomen settled, his breathing doesn’t get deeper, and his heart does not calm down. What if he’s still here?
Remus slides down the wall and curls up on the cold tiles, he attempts to regulate his harsh breathing and spinning mind. He knows how to do this, he’s done this a thousand times before, why should this time be any different? His nails scratch the backs of his hands and then find their way
In the end, it’s not the techniques for calming down he’s learned from a few books in the school library. It’s the warm black scarf still draped around his neck, now messily, not in the near way Sirius tied it yesterday that lasted even during the night. Still, the thick fabric manages to soothe his shaky hands and blurry vision, the touch of it too similar to a certain person’s hands on Remus’ face.
Remus shakes his head as an attempt to get rid of the spinning and spiralling thoughts surrounding his mind and stands up to pick up his things. He need to get to class before he misses the exam. It’s the reflection in a small mirror besides his home door that stops him in his tracks and draws attention to his bloody nose. Remus’ face goes red from the embarrassment, even more than what the injuries cause already.
“What do I do now?” Remus asks himself desperately. He can’t tell anyone about what happened or who did it, Severus would kill him. But he definitely doesn’t look good and alright either. The last straw is, there’s no way Remus could afford a doctor right now. With no insurance or a proper income, there’s no way Remus could pay for that. Severus used to give him some money for check-ups and so, though that’s not an option now.
Remus heads out of the building with the scarf draped over his face and long clothes to cover any signs of injuries with the plan to get to school and then go to the school nurse. He can make up a story on the spot fairly well, at least he hopes so. Quite a crucial part of his plan, no? But also, his only option.
“Hello,” Remus greets the school nurse as he enters the office. It’s quite a big room with multiple beds and carts with medical supplies.
“Hello,” madam Blainey responds. She lifts her eyes from the book she’s currently reading as she doesn’t have to care for anyone this early in the morning. She’s usually busy throughout the day with a school as big as this one, but today was a slow morning.
Though, of course, nobody is allowed to say that.
“Do you need anything?” she asks, her voice calm and warm. She’s just that type of person, always having this calming and assuring energy about her and loads of experience, even though Remus could bet she was in her thirties and no older.
“Well,” Remus starts with a shaky voice. Instead of talking, he uncovers his face and watches the expression on the nurse’s face. It’s not panic, she’s too put together for that, but her eyes are wide in surprise and she gets up from her seat hurriedly.
“Oh my lord,” she gasp when she has the opportunity to look closely. “Let’s get you seated down. What’s happened?” she asks and Remus is confident in his lie now with a bit of time to think of a convincing story. Or, somewhat convincing, but what else could have happened? Why would he be accused of lying when there’s no obvious explanation?
“I got mugged on my way to school,” Remus lies through his teeth. He feels guilty from doing this, he’s always liked madam Blainey. But, frankly, he has no other choice. “it’s nothing serious, just my nose and a few bruises.” Remus wants to sound alright, like it really is just a few bruises and this situation is just a funny campfire story. But the pain is not just physical, to be honest, it mostly isn’t. though a busted nose hurts like hell, Remus must admit. Still, he smiles through it and does everything to keep his light attitude and joking mood.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry to hear that,” the nurse shakes her head, already searching for the right supplies. “Have they stolen anything precious?”
Remus thinks of how to respond for his story to be believable. “They took a bit of cash I had on me and I ring that looked expensive. To be honest, it was absolutely worthless, I bought it on a flea market for next to nothing. Luckily, my phone was deep in my bag, so they didn’t find it,” Remus explains, satisfied with what he made up.
“Well, at least that’s something,” nurse Blainey admits, “but your nose- god, I know very well how it feels. You’re strong to smile through it,” she nods, “are you sure you’re not hurt anywhere else?”
Remus is well aware of his aching ribs and upset stomach. “I think I’m good,” he says. On the other side, this is a good opportunity to take advantage of the lie and get checked out so he really is okay. “a few kicks to my stomach didn’t help too much, made me sick since I had eaten breakfast not too long before it happened. But I feel fine after throwing up, so I’m not really worried.”
Madam Blainey returns with her supplies and lays them out on the bed Remus is sitting on. “This will hurt, I have to set your nose,” she sighs, a look of pity settling on her face. “after I do it, it will feel I whole lot better though,” she gives the silver lining. Remus nods and waits for her to do her thing. Just her touch hurts so much, and when his nose pops, it sends such pain he thinks it will split his head. He yelps, both from surprise and pain. “Sorry, but it’s done now,” the nurse apologises while sticking a few bandages over his nose and wiping it with a damp handkerchief. Remus is reminded of the one that still sits in his pocket from the lovely sandwich.
“It’s okay, thank you for the help,” the boy dismisses her, glad that he’s done with it.\
“I should check out that stomach, to be sure there’s nothing major going on,” she reminds Remus, and before he can protest, continues, “things like internal bleeding are sometimes not felt soon enough to bother the injured.”
Remus gives up and strips of his coat and sweater, just a white tank top covering his thin tall frame. “Okay.”
The nurse pushes up the thin fabric and her hands stop when she sees the already forming bruises scattered all over his torso, not even in their full beauty yet. “Oh my, how many times did you say you got kicked?” she asks the very obvious question.
“I’m not sure,” Remus responds, and that, for once, is the full truth. “it was to the stomach mainly, I few to my chest and one in my face,” he admits. “I barely feel it, though,” the boy hurries to assure madam Blainey whose frown only grows with worry.
She pushes her fingers down on Remus’ abdomen and the pain takes him by surprise, forcing a groan out of his throat. “Sure you do.” The nurse pushes down again, this time hitting the exact spot Severus’ boot landed on numerous times. Remus cries out and curls around madam Blainey’s hands, instinctively pushing her hands away. “Sorry,” she murmurs, sadly watching the witty boy screw his face in pain that takes all the smirks and laughs away. There’s something in seeing people that deal with pain with humour not even able to do that.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to push you away,” Remus grunts. His nose hurts even more from scrunching his face and his stomach feels like it’s on fire. He feels nauseous again, but his stomach is empty already, so the feeling is more of an empty pain and sickness.
“I understand, don’t worry. It doesn’t seem like there would be any bigger problem, but if you still don’t feel good or something worsens, come here immediately,” nurse Blainey instructs. “I recommend staying here for a bit, but that’s up to you and how you feel.”
Remus starts shaking his head before she can even finish her sentence. “Nah, I have to go to my classes, but thanks anyway.” He gets up and dresses back in his sweater, slowly and carefully to not aggravate the bruises any further.
Madam Blainey gives him some pain relief for the case it got worse and says goodbye, sending Remus on his merry way to the class. The boy swallows the meds immediately after the nurse’s office door is closed and hurries down the halls on to get to his classroom the moment the bell rings.
Great.