1 July 1978, Cokeworth
“What’s so special about this park anyways?” Sirius asked.
“Oh you’ll see.” Lily said with a pep in her step. “The river is beautiful and it’s hidden by these big beautiful willow trees. Their vines grace the river and create such beautiful ripples, it’s really worth the walk. Trust me.” Just remembering the place made her walk in front of the group eager to get there first.
The park was a little more out there from her side of town and the lake looked nicer near her neighborhood; it was cleaner and a nice dark blue. She and Petunia would swim there during the summers when they were young. However, her mother always told her to never enter the river as it got closer to the park. It wasn’t just because the water was full of gunk but the waves started to get more aggressive and it widened; but she also feared the teens of the area. Her mother always worried as the teens of that area of town would indulge in “delinquent activities” behind the woods as she would put it.
Petunia on the other hand would more unkindly call them “burnouts.” The image of Severus' red face as he would argue with Petunia when she would call him that crossed her mind. She smiled as she remembered all the “burnout” bands Severus wanted to introduce her to, much to her sister’s dismay. Such degeneracy she had exclaimed.
“What's so funny?” James asked, he was eager to start a conversation with her. He wanted to know everything about her, the town she grew up in, and her sister. Anything she would give him he would happily take.
“Nothing.” She said as her feelings soured once he brought her back to reality.
It made her sad to remember Severus or …now Snape. She hated being reminded of him. Maybe that’s why she had spent the last few days trying to convince Petunia to come with her to the park. She wanted to have memories that didn’t include him in her beautiful sanctuary. It’s not that she really cared what he was doing now, it was just that she wished he could do the same. She could feel his eyes on her everytime she walked by. She could feel him haunting the corner of any room she was in; he just never approached her because he was a coward.
So she invited Potter and Black out here instead. Potter had been writing to her begging to let them visit her for the last year. He had flattered her mother enough that she caved. She had invited them yesterday to spend a couple days here. Get to know the muggle world and join in on some summer activities.
They had arrived yesterday but if she was honest she was already regretting inviting them. The problem was that she wasn’t poor, not in the slightest. She wasn’t like Snape and the people from Spinner’s End was, she wasn’t swimming in money but she and her family lived comfortably. She wasn’t dirty and greasy like Snape and she and her sister had the latest styles all within a reasonable price. However she was quickly getting to see how different their financial situations were to the likes of Potter and Black. It was obvious that they were used to something different. She could see it in their eyes when they arrived at her house, saw her furniture, and ate their food. Though they tried to hide it to spare her feelings they couldn’t hide how uncomfortable they were by middle class life. So she had considered going to the park just to show them what she had instead of a Quidditch field in her back yard to ride brooms all summer.
Sure the park was nothing to look at but she found the hidden area beautiful even if she didn’t think they would understand what she liked so much about it. Even if it had rubbish, empty beer bottles, and cigarettes left all over the path, she still found it beautiful. The water looked nearly black and it violently moved around like it had a life of its own. It was the only thing around that part of town that seemed to have some life to it.
But when it was winter the light snow helped the view, covering the trash and oil that littered it everywhere. Her mother had told her she didn’t want her going there anymore. She said if Snape or Petunia weren’t going with her then she had no business being there. So she hadn’t been back in so long to appease her mother. But today was different; she wasn’t alone; today she had Potter and Black, so Petunia couldn’t get her in trouble this time.
“There was a lake literally right next to your street so why are we going all the way over there? You said we aren’t even going to swim, so wh- Ow!” Sirius shrieked as James pinched him in the gut.
“Dude, I want to be invited again. Who cares why she wants to go to this lake, just be cool.” James whispered in his ear.
“Whatever.” Sirius replied as he got quiet again.
Personally Sirius would rather be back at the Potter manor with James but for some reason James insisted they go visit Lily here. At first it sounded cool so he happily went along though he had a feeling he was only invited for James’ company. But walking around and exploring the muggle world with someone who lives there sounded too good to pass up. His mother would have lost her mind.
However after being here half of yesterday and today he would now like to go home. He wanted to go back to playing quidditch with James. The guest room he shared with James was small and the beds creaked and It didn’t help that this was the most boring muggle town to ever exist. Besides, he just didn’t enjoy Lily’s family’s company as much as James did. Hell he didn’t even enjoy Lily’s company as much as James did either so this whole visit was a bust for him.
Don’t get him wrong, sure she was pretty but that wasn’t something girls in Gryffindor were lacking. But everyone acted like she was the next best thing since Merlin himself. So what James and everyone else thought was so special of the girl really went over his head sometimes. It made her annoyed to be around sometimes.
“Just follow her lead, maybe this river is cooler or something.” James spoke as he walked up to Lily's side to try to butter up a conversation out of her. He sounded so short with him. He had been like this all day, all the patience James had with his usual discomfort went to Lily’s pouting. One of the many reasons he didn’t like having Lily around much. It seemed that that red hair was distracting enough to push him to the side.
James just wanted to make a good impression. Lily’s sister already didn’t like him, and he didn’t want Sirius getting on the family’s bad side too. He could tell Lily wasn't Sirius’ biggest fan but more so tolerated him on the basis of him being a fellow Gryffindor and his friend. It was a surprise that Lily even invited them to spend a couple days with her during summer break, so he wasn’t having Padfoot ruin this for him. He could go home early if he wanted but he was staying. He didn’t have the time to be at every one of Sirius’ whims; he was trying to impress his future in-laws.
As they walked by the houses were getting less bright and less symmetrical, so she knew they were close. The park was at the perfect middle of Spinner's End and the rest of the city. It was the perfect place for her and Petunia to meet Severus. God, she really hated being reminded of Snape. She really wished he would be washed away from her memory however it seemed that he was determined to haunt her everywhere, in the halls lurking in the corners almost waiting to ask for forgiveness, during meal time his eye is on her waiting for them to meet, and in her memory taunting her.
“Oh it’s there isn't it? I see a slide.” James said like a dog waiting to be called a good boy as he pointed towards the most rusted saddest slide in the world.
She looked up to the sight that was the door to her childhood as they entered the park. She needed to get a grip; she didn’t even notice they were here. But she was happy to be here, the place made her feel like a kid again. It was the time capsule of a simpler time.
As they walked into the woods their conversation kinda blurred into the background for Lily the more they walked past the trees. She said that yes they were going the right way walking into the woods until you found the willow trees, that’s when the river appeared. But most of the time she was with Petunia and with Severus showing them the way to the river from the park. But she had never gone alone or been the one to lead. The anticipation was rising in her breathing.
“Maybe afterwards we could stop at a shop and get something to eat? Do you know a good place around here Miss. Evans?” James asked with a tone that alerted her that he was trying to flirt.
“Oh!” she said, trying to scrub her brain for an answer now that she was brought back into the conversation. “I think we could stop at a corner store on the way back. I have some money so we could bring lunch back for my family too. It would just be something simple but trust me, I promise the food is good.”
“Well whatever you think is good my fair lady, I would trust you with my life.” James replied as he playfully batted his eyelashes towards her.
“Okay yes, whatever you want, Princess.” Sirius sarcastically said under his breath.
At that James and Sirius began to whisper argue behind her but she could care less of what Black thought of her. Sometimes Snape was spot on, Black could be a spoiled brat. He had been since he got here, probably used to others wiping his arse for him. And if Petunia could put her colored rose glasses down she would dislike him more than she does James.
As the two argued behind her she saw a peak of the path of her beloved willow trees in the very distant. At the sight she smiled as they called out to her.
“Let’s go!” she laughed out running towards the willows, her hands rising up to touch the beautiful branches. “There right there.”
She heard the footsteps behind her as they ran farther into the trees. She ran faster like a game she played as a kid coming back to her. Whoever got there first was the winner and she was a winner. She wanted to see the sight of the black waters with littered leftovers. But she remembered that Potter and Black didn’t really know where they were heading. She knew she should slow down and waited for them but the wet dirt on the ground would show them the path she reasoned. Right now what mattered was getting to touch the bark of the largest tree she had ever seen and claiming it as hers.
She slowed down as she got closer. She looked around at the river as it made violent waves that made the forest on the other side unreachable. Those trees looked larger and deeper. She had always wanted to cross the river to see what secrets laid ahead though she never had the nerve to. Even when Severus had offered to take her there she never took his offer, instead she made herself content with the stories of his sole adventures.
That’s why she loved their secret hideout. It was the biggest willow tree on this side of the river. It had a cavity in it where one could hide as a child, and the roots were overgrown that you could climb underneath them, though she was the only one who did as she didn’t mind getting dirt on herself.
She looked at the edge of the water to notice footsteps on the mud taking the same path as she.
She softened her steps as she moved behind the trees. She knew her mother and Petunia were only being paranoid when they warned her about this part of town but some of the teens around here did have violent tendencies. So just in case the teen gangs from Spinner End’s were here she would rather they didn't see her.
She heard laughter from the big willow tree. Two figures were under her branches. The first had a large brown penny lane coat and long colorless brown hair, the smoke coming from her mouth was not from cold. The first indication of the delinquents her mother warned her about.
However she knew she had seen that mousy colorless long brown hair somewhere before.
The spider-like figure that curved into itself that stood next to her was familiar as well. A dark oversized men's jacket hung over their shoulders. The jacket must have been part of a men's fancy suit from 40 years ago, it engulfed his skinny figure completely.
“So we’re still going tonight?”
“Um…Yes!”
“Are you sure you want to go through with this? If it’s too much I could just take you home?”
“No. I want to do this. I don’t want to spend all of my summer break at home doing nothing. Besides my mom seemed excited, I have some plans for a change.”
“And she’s fine with me taking you all the way to London to see a bunch of men with lipstick prancing around on stage? With me of all people as your chaperon?”
“Well she doesn't know that part but she trusts you. She also thinks you don’t swing that way, bent if you know what I mean.”
“Okay well … that’s good to know I guess.”
The conversation dissolved into hearty chuckles and awkward apologies that weren’t needed. She walked back the way she came making sure the pair didn’t hear her steps.
Once she had gotten far enough she jogged back to where she left Potter and Black. She eventually ran into them looking for her lost in the middle of the trees.
“Sirius! She’s here! I found her!” James said out of breath once he saw her, “You are so fast. We could have found some use for you on the Quidditch team years ago.”
“Doing what? Running after the snitch?” Sirius asked as he ran over to James. “We use brooms we didn't need - Ow!” Sirius stopped as James hit once more.
She gave both of them a look before she turned away from their clear infighting.
“We should head back. We shouldn’t be wasting time looking for some dirty river. We should just get lunch before my mom starts preparing something.”
“But we're almost there? You said the river and your favorite tree were around, you want to go back now?” He asked, confused. They were almost there. Did something happen while she ran off? Did they piss her off?
“No. I’m getting hungry, we should go.”
It was awkward as they walked out of the park towards the restaurant, they both could tell her demeanor had changed but neither knew what to say to her.
“Are you sure everything is alright Lily?” James inquired once again.
“I’m fine, we should hurry before the lunch hour rush.” She said as she turned away from them leading the way again. She didn’t want to be here anymore, it really was tainted. She shouldn’t have wasted their time to save it. She was just wasting her time.
When they got home the commotion of their lunch distracted her family and her guests from her distant attitude. When she looked out the window she knew the sun would start setting in a couple hours. In those hours someone could get to London from here. Muggle or not. She stood up from the board games the four were playing to find her mother. Ignoring the looks the other three gave her.
“Mom?” She said quietly as she walked into the kitchen. “Can I go buy some snacks? I'll be quick I swear.”
“Just you?” Her mother's face changed. She could tell she was so uncomfortable with that idea. “Oh I don’t know. Why not take James or-”
“No. I just… I want it to be a surprise! You know, greeting them with traditionally muggle snacks, you know?” She said quickly. She didn’t want James going with her, let alone Black. She didn’t feel the need to break up a fight.
“Okay, well if you hurry back quickly you can go.” She barely finished.
“Okay! I’ll be back!” She yelped as she pulled her coat from the rack. She could hear her mother tell her to stay safe as she ran out. She quickly walked back to the park. Even though she was almost an adult she wasn’t used to being outside alone. Especially not heading towards Cokeworth of all places.
All she saw was her feet as she trusted that they would lead her down the path to the tree. She got there quick enough. As she moved around the willow branches that brushed her head she knew where she was when the overgrown roots threatened to trip her. When she looked up she saw that familiar black spider-like figure leaning on the tree.
“Li-” He paused, and when he spoke again he straightened his posture and his poker face came out. “Miss. Evans.” He acknowledged her. His voice was biting out the words.
“What are you doing here?” She was too calm to actually be skeptical.
“What are you doing?” He said as he flipped the question on her.
He didn’t want to answer her question. Which was annoying…Snape knew how to do that. When she stayed silent he sighed and answered her first.
“If you must know, I'm waiting for someone.” He clarified as he turned to her and put his hands in his pockets.
Even though she knew that it didn’t stop her from feeling taken aback. Severus didn’t tend to have friends outside of her.
“Shocker as that may be to you Miss. Evans but my life doesn't revolve around you.” He said as if reading her mind.
“Oh I know.” She said, widening her eyes and tilting her head back as if she was mocking him. “That Burbage girl?”
That made him pause.
“Yeah actually are you spying on me?” He joked as he leaned off the tree to her with a bitter smirk. But when he saw that look on her face his face hardened with shock.
“Oh my god? You are spying on me.”
“It wasn’t on purpose.”
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you were spying on me?”
This was so awkward and not the way she wanted to confront him at all.
“Do you know what people would say if I was the one caught spying on you? What were you even doing here?” He spoke again with an aggressive tone that didn’t fit him.
He had never spoken like this.
“No I just wanted-”
“You have to be joking Evans. You were the one who told me to leave you alone yet you're the one sticking your nose in my business where it doesn’t belong.”
She wanted to say something, anything. She felt like an idiot with her mouth open waiting for a comeback to defend herself.
“I wasn’t spying.” She said again. “ I have as much right to come here as you. You don’t own this spot, Snape.”
“Just stop pretending, Lily! I know you were here earlier today. You were spying on me today.” He said. If he had really seen her earlier that day then he had really fooled her. Every time he saw her since that day his eyes would widen and his mouth would open like he was about to say something though she never let him. He couldn’t contain himself around her. Snape always had a hard time hiding what he was thinking and feeling.
“It wasn’t on purpose! It really wasn’t. And if you knew I saw why did you act so innocently? I swear you just like to play mind games with people.” She hated when he did that.
“That doesn’t matter, what matters is that you were spying on me. And now you’re here again to see what I’m up to.”
The silence was deafening.
“Do you know what people would say if it was the other way around?”
She didn’t speak but she knew exactly what people would do if the roles were reversed. They would have put Severus into the ground. She knew he was right, people would light creepy slimy Snivellus on fire if he was caught spying on perfect benevolent Lily, but here she was keeping mind of his business. Maybe she was the one who haunted him in the corner. But that’s not what she came to talk about; she wanted to know what he was doing here. He really shouldn’t be here.
“Why did you bring her here?” She asked plain and simple.
“I don’t really see why it’s any of your-” He started with his recriminations
“Trying to replace me is a low blow even for you Snape. It’s like you think you can switch me up with whatever uptown girl will tolerate you! It seems that anything we did was so unimportant that you could just replace-”
“Wow Evans! If only everyone knew what a vindictive asshole perfect little Lily could be. They would be stunned really.” He said over her as he threw his arms up.
“Cut the crap! I don’t care what you have to say, it's of no worth to anyone. I can finally see that now. I’m not wasting more of my time defending a jerk.”
“Oh you know what, this is why even Petunia can’t stand you! If most people knew what a massive hypocrite you actually are they wouldn’t line up to see you like they do know.”
“See you don't care, that’s all you think of me and any girl you bring here. That we are just so stupid and that we need you to hold our hand as you should us the world. And the moment you're no longer as interesting as you make yourself out to be, you think you can just bring someone else here to reuse the same old tricks.”
“Like you were bringing Potter and Black here today?”
Lily felt herself flinch back like she had been caught. She didn’t know how Snape knew she was going to bring Potter and Black here. How did he know? Why did it matter?
“You’re so bitter.” That’s all she could hear herself saying. It felt good to say it out loud. But she also felt like a fraud, a conman as she said it. She didn’t feel like arguing anymore, Snape could do whatever he pleased, it didn’t matter to her.
“Sure and you’re a hypocrite.” He said part of him was numb to whatever she had to say, unmoving and unwilling to listen any further. But with the same eagerness he has always had for her.
“Perfect little Lily, if we really aren’t friends anymore then you can go. I’m waiting for someone, the world doesn’t stop just cause you feel like it, and I don’t have time for you. I’m sure Potter is more than ready to indulge your every whim though, go to him.” He said as he headed back to Spinner’s End and out of the woods.
She watched as he disappeared in the branches and vines from the willow. He probably tainted every vein he touched like a poison; she was sure it seeped deep into the roots. He was right she didn’t care about him, they weren’t friends. Everyone was right she should stop running after him trying to save him from himself, that Burbage girl could take that thankless job if she wanted. If she couldn’t see past his initial charms then she was dumber than she looked. She turned towards the river and looked out; it was different; it had lost all its charm. It was no longer violent, alive, and mysterious. She saw it for what it was: a dirty, aggressive, and dead lake with rubbish all over. She was the only thing with life around here.