Part 2
Romance 101; Part 2
[Early-August 1933]
“All’s been accounted for,” Ashurn announced, dusting off his hands. “Once again, good work today, Snape.”
Severus nodded his acknowledgement.
“As did you. Now, if you will excuse me,” Severus lifted his cloak off the hanger on the wall and slipped it on, “I shall take my leave.” He then promptly made for the door.
“Hold on there, not so fast, Snape!” Ashurn called from behind him. “We're not quite done here!”
Severus sighed. He pivoted around and headed back into the brewing room.
“Well then, Ashurn, you might want to add this to my salary as overtime.” Severus said seriously, stopping at the door frame.
Ashurn snorted.
“Trust me, you'll be wanting to thank me after I help you come to your senses,” he replied confidently as he stepped around the younger man. Severus followed him out into the main store, frowning.
What does that… ah, the incident yesterday. Severus pursed his lips.
“Ashurn, I am perfectly capable of managing my own private affairs,” Severus stated, not wanting to stay behind just for the sake of romance.
Ashurn didn't turn around, and instead kept on rummaging through the drawers underneath the counter, mumbling to himself.
“No.. it's not here.. where is this thing? I'm pretty sure I put it here the last time…”
Severus crossed his arms and stood there in silence while Ashurn continued to mumble to himself.
Just as Severus had gotten tired of waiting, Ashurn let out an accomplished, ‘Aha!’ And straightened up, grinning at Severus.
“So, Snape. As I'm sure you know, yesterday I had gleaned some extremely disturbing information on your love life, and I have taken it upon myself to help rectify that,” Ashurn said.
Severus sighed.
“Ashurn, as I have made perfectly clear before, I am competent enough to handle my own private affairs. I do not need your help.”
Ashurn scoffed at his claim.
“Really eh? Then why don't you go ahead and prove it to me?”
“I do not have to prove—”
“Go on out there,” Ashurn pointed to the front door, “And ask a woman out.”
Severus merely gave Ashurn an incredulous look.
“You want me to… ask a woman out?” He clarified, slowly enunciating every word to make sure he hadn't heard wrong.
“That's right.”
“And you expect her to accept.”
“Correct!”
Severus stared at Ashurn's confidant expression, skeptical.
“What, in the entire world, makes you think that a random woman, who has had no prior interaction with me, will agree to go on a romantic outing together?” Severus questioned Ashurn, eyebrow raised.
The older man just sighed.
“And this is why we need to do this.” He replied, shaking his head.
Severus narrowed his eyes at Ashurn. He really couldn't care less about what odd games that Ashurn wanted to play, as long as it didn't include him.
“I personally see no point in this endeavor,” Severus informed Ashurn. “Therefore, I shall be on my way.” And with that, he pivoted sharply and once again made for the exit.
“I’m still your boss!” Ashurn reminded him from the counter.
“But you won’t fire me!” Severus called back, not stopping.
“...Who says I won’t?”
Severus stopped.
Logically speaking, he knew that if Ashurn wanted to continue to get customers, he couldn’t fire Severus. However, that didn't mean that Ashurn wasn’t insane enough about this idea to fire him.
“I can just as well find another job,” he countered.
“But do you really want to?” Ashurn asked, and Severus could practically hear him grinning from behind him.
“I very well could—”
“But do you really want to?”
Severus pinched his nose bridge in exasperation. He looked back to a smirking Ashurn with a pointed glare.
“Just one.”
Ashurn just raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the street, evidently excited to see whatever that was about to occur unfold.
Severus grudgingly pushed open the glass door, stepping out into the cool weather.
“And I’m watching! So no cheating with a married woman!” He heard Ashurn shout from within the apothecary, just as the door closed.
Severus tsked. Well, that was unfortunate.
He scanned the bustling street, and his gaze landed on a quaint looking lady that was walking in his direction. There was no obvious wedding ring, nor was she walking with anyone, so Severus decided to settle for her. If she turned out to be married or already in an existing relationship, that would be a stroke of luck.
“Excuse me,” he called out to the unsuspecting witch, striding up to her.
She paused and looked up, surprised to be called. Severus weaved through the pedestrians and quickly crossed the distance between them.
Severus, being taller, naturally bent over and leant in closer, so as to ensure that the woman would hear him clearly.
“Would you like to go out with me?” He asked, getting straight to the point.
The woman upon hearing Severus’ question just gaped at him like a goldfish. She blushed and made some incoherent sounds, as he had expected. What else would a person do if you were suddenly asked such a question? The blushing though— that was interesting.
“I– uh, well, oh gosh this is sudden— er, well, I– erm,” the woman struggled to find her wording.
He sighed, straightening.
“I just need a one word answer, Miss. No elaboration needed,” Severus said, raising an eyebrow at her.
“I– uhm,” she stared at Severus for a moment, blushing even harder, mouth open wide but saying nothing.
I suppose I do have to give her some time, Severus thought as he peered down at the woman. I do appear rather insane at the moment, don’t I, asking such a ridiculous question.
“Uh…”
“Yes?”
“I, well— oh Moragana— s-sure, why not?” The woman smiled hesitantly at Severus, looking worried and, strangely, a tad excited. He frowned.
Odd.
“Hm. Well, pardon for the interference, Madam. I shall take my leave now.” Severus nodded curtly. He was about to leave, when he remembered something.
“One last thing.” Severus pulled out his wand and discreetly pointed it to the bewildered woman.
Obliviate.
And with that, he pivoted around and stalked back to the apothecary, leaving the woman blinking in confusion.
Ashurn was watching the entire exchange, grinning the whole way through.
He had seen how the poor woman flushed red when Snape had leaned in to ask the question, and it was clear that she thought he was pretty good looking from her expression and how flustered she appeared to be.
He smiled in amusement as he watched Snape stalk back to the apothecary, with a stoic expression that betrayed nothing.
Yet, that told him everything he needed to know.
Severus entered the shop briskly, pinning Ashurn with a glare. The other just smiled innocently back at him.
“So, how did it go?” Ashurn asked pleasantly.
Severus huffed.
“It was pure luck, I assure you. Had it been any other man, she would have done the same,” he said flatly, still thoroughly not convinced.
“I'm not so sure about that,” Ashurn replied, raising his eyebrows. He looked much too pleased with himself for Severus' liking.
“I have ‘proved myself’, as you have said, Ashurn. So, now I shall be on my way.” Severus stated, turning towards the exit.
“We’re not done yet!” the older wizard called from the counter. Severus kept going.
“As I have informed you, and even proven to you byyour own rules, I am perfectly capable of managing my own personal affairs, which includes romance. Your help is unnecessary.” Severus answered emotionlessly, hand already on the door handle.
“I still seriously doubt that,” Ashurn said. “You don’t even understand the fact that you look good, Snape! How can I believe that you understand anything else?”
Severus sighed. He turned back to face Ashurn, fixing him with a hard stare.
“Well then, I shall show you myself.” And with that, he left the apothecary once more, Ashurn's surprised gaze following him.
This time, he walked straight up to a group of young witches, looking to be around twenty-five years of age, and quickly evaluated each of them, before settling on the blonde haired one in the middle.
“Will you go out with me?” Severus asked, not wasting any time. He stared intently at the blonde girl, studying her reaction.
The blonde girl just gaped at Severus for a second, before glancing at her two friends. Keeping her eyes on him, she leant over and whispered rather ineffectively to a girl in glasses.
“Pinch me,” she whispered.
It was followed by a round of squealing and not so covert glances from the three witches, which Severus was particularly annoyed by. He just watched, unimpressed at the obvious discussion happening in front of him.
They’re acting like teenage school girls— ridiculous.
He was about to ask again, when the blonde girl cleared her throat.
“Ahem, yes, I'd love to go out with you,” she said, sickeningly sweet. She batted her eyelashes at him, Merlin knows what for.
He furrowed his eyebrows at her response.
“Apologies.” Was all he said before casting the memory charm, whipping around and heading off, leaving the three girls in a daze.
He was perplexed by the responses of the two women. It couldn't be real, it must’ve been a coincidence. He had to test if it was a genuine reaction.
Severus thus tried this with multiple other witches along the street. Much to his own shock, all of them said yes, save for the one who happened to have just had a— what was it? — ‘break up’. It was a rather awkward interaction.
Severus left the final test candidate blinking in confusion, and was frowning in disbelief.
What in Slytherin’s name made them all decide to agree to go on a date with someone, least of all him, who they've never even met before? Simply preposterous!
Severus stormed into the apothecary. He gave Ashurn a sharp look.
“Did you set me up?”
Ashurn looked taken aback.
“Set you up? Of course not, I wouldn't even dream of it. Merlin, I didn't even expect you to go out and do it again!” He gave Severus an impressed look. “Mind you, if I’d known I could convince you to do it again, I definitely would’ve,” he finished, nodding to accentuate his point.
“But I’m guessing,” Ashurn continued, barely holding in a grin, “that the same thing happened? Ay?”
Severus furrowed his eyebrows.
“Why would they even agree to such a thing? It's ridiculous!”
“Because you're handsome, Snape.” Ashurn deadpanned, giving him a serious look.
Severus scoffed. “You have made that ludicrous statement yesterday, Ashurn. And as I have already said, I can hardly be considered handsome by any means.”
Ashurn just raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Right. And, tell me, why else would all those women agree to a date with you? Because you're smart?”
“Usually, yes.”
Ashurn snorted. “Maybe, but hardly anyone who just wants to get laid will care about what's up here, genius,” he tapped his head.
Severus gave Ashurn a scathing look, but didn't respond. He knitted his eyebrows together as he thought over Ashurn’s choice of words.
The older man behind the counter sighed.
“Honestly, Snape, I don't care all that much for people who like to prance around like they're some god or goddess because of how good they look. But,” he looked at Severus seriously. “You do have to know that people will try to go after you because of that pretty face of yours.”
“Again, I am at most presentable, and I am perfectly capable of ensuring my own safety, Ashurn.” Severus crossed his arms.
“Yeah, yeah, we both know that,” Ashurn waved dismissively. “Still though,” he gave Severus a sad look, “the fact that you don't even know what getting hit on means is rather worrying.”
He was about to retort, when Ashurn slammed a small book onto the counter in front of Seveus.
“Read this, Snape. For one reason or another, a... friend of mine gave this to me a long time ago, but I've never found a use for it. Women don't exactly fall for me left and right, as you can see,” Ashurn gestured to himself and let out a laugh.
Severus peered at the cover.
‘How to read love signals: Romance 101’ Severus read. He looked up at Ashurn incredulously. “Are you serious?”
Ashurn shrugged. “Strange, isn't it?”
“No one in their right minds would want to read this,” Severus said seriously.
“You should probably use a concealment charm or something to change the cover,” Ashurn suggested, as if Severus hadn’t said anything.
“And what exactly makes you think that I will actually read this?” Severus asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Nothing!”
“Excellent, we both have a point of agreement,” Severus said with a tone of finality.
“For all I know, you’ll probably just throw this book out the moment you’re out of my sight,” Ashurn went on. “But I do know,” he smirked at Severus, “that you’ll be curious enough to at least try and read it— even if you do still throw it out. Props to you actually, if you do.”
Severus scrutinised Ashurn. He seemed completely sober— so he wasn't insane.
“And I assume that if I do not bring the book with me, you’re going to threaten to fire me?”
“Mhm!”
Severus sighed, pinching his nose bridge. He glared at the other man.
“You owe me a favour, Ashurn,” Severus scowled as he grabbed the book and roughly tucked it into his cloak. Ashurn smiled pleasantly at him.
“I think you’re going to be the one owing me a favour, Snape.” Ashurn replied smugly, before waving Severus off and crossing his arms. “Now, go on and visit that acquaintance of yours.”
“How many times do I have to reiterate this, I—”
“ —do not have a girlfriend, yes, yes. Go on, you don’t want to keep her waiting!” Ashurn made a ‘shooing’ action.
“He is a boy, for your information,” Severus added, narrowing his eyes at the older wizard and turning away.
“Really? How exciting!” Was Ashurn’s enthusiastic response.
Severus rolled his eyes and swept out of the apothecary.
“Have fun on your date!” He heard Ashurn holler just before he apparated away. Severus sighed and shook his head in disbelief, starting on his way to the park.
Unbelievable, how frustrating Ashurn could be at times.
________
Falling to Curiosity
[September 1933]
Severus was sitting back in a chair in the inn, reading a book on theoretical Time-Travel that he had purchased from ‘Flourish and Blotts’ just earlier that day.
The author, Thyme Raviel, certainly did propose some interesting theories, but they ultimately did not help to explain what had happened to him just a few months prior.
Severus sighed, shutting the book.
Yet another one to add to the shelf.
He turned and set the book down on the desk next to him, and the book that Ashurn had handed him caught his eye.
He still hadn’t bothered to open the book, let alone read it. It was a ridiculous enough notion, plus, he wasn't particularly interested in romance in the first place.
He didn't know why, but the book was indestructible; through magic, even throwing it away had no use. It just came flying right back. No wonder Ashurn couldn't get rid of it.
So it had just been sitting on the desk in the inn, untouched.
Severus leaned back against the backrest of the chair, crossing his arms. He stared listlessly around the room for a while— at the moldy ceiling, the hard wood floors, out the window onto the leaf- littered street. There was a distant 'Boom!' coming from somewhere down Diagon Alley, but Severus paid that no mind. It was probably some odd experiment gone wrong.
Severus pursed his lips. He tried to close his eyes and take a short rest, but opened them a moment later, sighing.
He didn't have much to do, as that day Ashun had closed the shop, saying that it would be ‘a day off’ for both of them. He had proposed to stay in and help to stock up on potions, but Ashurn had been quite adamant about the decision.
The idea of going out wasn't that appealing to Severus either, as it was particularly busy on the street that day. Just going to the bookstore earlier was already rather unpleasant, with all the people he had to squeeze through, and he wasn’t about to willingly venture out and experience that again.
He didn't know why so many witches and wizards were out that day, but he was not nearly interested enough to find out.
Severus tilted his head back and sighed. He looked around, mind wandering on what he could do, when Ashurn’s book caught his eye once again.
He narrowed his eyes at it for a moment, before shaking his head and looking away.
He did not need the guidance of some romance self-help novel to manage his personal affairs. Just as he had told Ashurn, he was perfectly fine on his own.
Severus crossed his arms and closed his eyes. Seconds passed. He opened his eyes. He took a deep breath, and sighed again.
Severus turned his head to look at the small book lying innocently on the desk. He contemplated for a moment, narrowing his eyes, before pursing his lips and wandlessly summoning the book towards him.
Severus stared at the cover.
He grimaced at the title, wondering who was the author absurd enough to put so much effort into making such an absurd book indestructible. It honestly seemed like the kind of thing only Dumbledore would do.
Severus looked down at the cover for a while longer, vacillating between the options. Eventually, he sighed in resignation.
I suppose there is no harm in glancing through a few pages, Severus thought, flipping open the book. This is purely for academic purposes. The charms on this item are rather impressive, after all.
Severus glanced at the inside of the cover, furrowing his eyebrows at the faded initials scribbled inside. He could just barely make out the text;
To my friend G[smudged], from A[smudged]
Severus raised his eyebrows,
Ashurn had told him that a friend handed the book to him, but, based on this, it was really Ashurn who had given this book to someone, and probably had it given back, presumably by this ‘G’ character.
Severus smirked in amusement, flipping to the first page.
He wasn't really interested initially, but now he just had to see what sort of nonsense Ashurn had written in such a ridiculous book.
________
Just Give Me a Reason
[October 1933]
“Unbelievable,” Severus muttered to himself as he sat on the park bench, one leg crossed over the other, with the disguised romance book in hand. It was, to the author’s credit, much longer than it appeared. He scowled at the page, not wanting to believe a word that was written on it.
Riddle glanced up at him, startled by the sudden break of the silence. Severus paid the boy next to him no mind, in favour of the book in front of him.
Absurd, the ideas that the author was putting forward. He almost wanted to burn it right then and there, knowing full well that it wasn't possible.
Although, he knew that it was entirely plausible that what the author, presumably Ashurn, had written was true. And if that were so, Severus had to acknowledge that he was less informed on the topic than he had thought, as much as he didn’t like to admit to the fact.
Perhaps he did have to reciprocate Ashurn for his efforts. They had turned out to be, for the lack of a better word, insightful after all.
But oh, did he have another bone to pick with Riddle Senior. It was simply preposterous, what the man was trying to lead him into doing. The ideas proposed in the book honestly weren't as hard to believe when Riddle Senior was the person in context.
Regardless, Severus was seriously regretting not casting an unforgivable on the man when he had the chance to.
He snapped the book shut, leaning back against the park bench and sighing. He just needed one reason to go back to Riddle’s residence— just to have a perfectly pleasant meeting with Riddle Senior.
“Riddle,” Severus began, and the kid looked up upon hearing his name. “Your… father wouldn’t happen to have done anything of notice these past few months, would he?”
Riddle faltered, sweat already forming on his face at the mention of Riddle Senior.
“N-no, sir, I don’t think M…my father has done anything at all,” he replied, stuttering. Severus narrowed his eyes, and turned to look into the kid’s eyes. After a few moments, he pursed his lips, turning back to face the park.
“Well. Excellent news.”
Riddle just kept his head down, playing with his fingers, occasionally peering up at Severus timidly through his long, unkempt hair.
Severus sighed once more, before flipping open the small book once again, lapsing the two of them back into silence.
________
Do you believe in Magic?
[Late-November 1933]
“Riddle.”
The kid looked up. “Yes sir?”
Severus narrowed his eyes at the wide-eyed child next to him, contemplating whether he should proceed or not. After a few seconds of mulling over his options, he continued.
“Do you believe that magic is real?”
Severus watched Riddle from the corner of his eye.
Riddle blinked. He looked up at Severus, simply blinking for a good minute or so, before he shifted his gaze down at his hands, as if pondering deeply. Severus continued to observe the kid as they sat.
Eventually, Riddle answered Severus, keeping his eyes on his hands.
“I… can’t really say, sir. I— uhm,” he seemed to be having trouble expressing his opinion.
Severus just waited in silence. Riddle began fiddling with the hem of his shirt, nervously glancing up at Severus, still struggling to answer. He, in turn, just raised an eyebrow at the child. Riddle's face turned red, and he quickly glanced back down, attempting to answer once again.
“I…y— no. Not really, sir. At least, I— I think so, sir.” Riddle mumbled, obviously apprehensive.
“Interesting.” He replied simply.
Severus was not particularly surprised by Riddle’s answer. What else would he expect from a kid who’s father so vehemently despised the very idea of magic?
Yet, the fact that Riddle had to mull over the question for as long as he did was rather intriguing. Perhaps there was something to his theory after all.
Severus leant back, facing the sky. He considered something for a while, but eventually decided against it. Instead, he addressed the kid next to him.
“Magic, Riddle, might seem like an otherworldly concept to you. But note,” he fingered his wand in his pocket, “that it just might be closer than you think.”
Riddle stared up at Severus, eyes wide in obvious curiosity. He seemed to want to ask Severus a question, or two, but was obviously holding back.
Severus, for once, didn't prod. They had explored the topic far enough, and Severus didn’t feel like explaining anything further.
They sat for the rest of their time in comfortable silence.
To be continued