Can't Run From the Past
Chapter 4- Can’t Run from the Past
It has been a month and a half since Maya had gotten her nephew from his awful muggle relatives. A month and a half of feeling the best that she had in years. The Sutcliffe home was starting to feel as light and happy as it used to be many years ago before the Maya’s world came apart at the seams.
There was the devastating conversation of explaining to Harry what exactly happened to his parents, her parents, her brother, the war, and herself. Deep down she berated herself for even mentioning all this to the kid. He was nine, he didn’t deserve to have this burden put on his shoulders.
Though like nearly every day, Harry shocked her with his ability to accept the hard truths and still find something to smile about. The kid even stuck his tongue out at the thought of being considered famous. “If anyone should be famous it’s my parents, they were the ones that protected me from him.”
Harry used no monikers or the real name of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the boy simply referred to him as “him”. The kid had to be probably the nicest and most forgiving human being as well, when he told Maya that he didn’t blame her for leaving— running away. Harry merely smiled, gave her a large hug, and stated that she was here now and that’s all that mattered.
There was a point in the past nine years where Maya was afraid that she’d forgotten how to love or what it felt like. Mattie and Harry brought the feelings back… the good and the bad. If her nine-year-old nephew could be so compassionate and brave, then so could she. Maya stepped out the back door of the house and looked on fondly at the boys in her life.
Harry had strapped Mattie to his chest in a carrier and was showing the baby all the magical flowers in the garden. He was talking animatedly about the colors and the way that the sunshine reflected off of them. Looking after the plants had become one of Harry’s chores. He had admitted that he was missing looking after the fragile things one night a few weeks ago. Harry liked that he could protect something and help it grow.
The responsibility hung well on the boy’s shoulders. Today was going to be a challenge for Maya, but she had this to come back home to. “Harry!” She calls out to her nephew. The young boy spins around on his heel with a big grin. Mattie’s hands are clutching to his fingers.
“Aunt Maya! The new seedlings are blooming.” He exclaims and waits for her to limp her way across the soft green lawn to the colorful and magical flower beds. A smear of dirt is on the boy’s cheek, but it doesn’t take away from the happiness and peace that’s settled around him since moving here.
“Amazing Harry. You’re a natural at all this. My mum would have loved you, the pair of you would have been spending all your time out here in the dirt and sweet-smelling flowers.” Maya says fondly, closing her eyes for the moment at the memory of her mum comes forward.
When she opens her eyes to look at Harry a soft melancholy smile is on his face. “I wish I could have met her too. I’m sure I’d have loved her; I mean I think I’d have loved all your family except for Grandma Celeste.” He states sticking his tongue out. Maya chuckles fondly and ruffles the boy’s hair.
“She was an arse, but she was our arse.” Maya states making Harry giggle. Maya tickles Mattie’s little stomach and heaves a sigh.
“I’m going to have to go out. I have some people I need to see; I’ve been putting it off too long already.” Maya tells her boys. Harry immediately looks worried.
“Are you going to be all right? I can come with you, keep you safe.” He states puffing his little chest out. Maya smiles at the boy almost bursting from the love she feels for him.
“I would always love to have you come with Harry, but this is something I have to do myself. Besides I need someone to help look after Mattie with Winnie. He needs a good influence to look up to as his big brother.” She says with a soft smile. Harry nods his head before he jerks to a stop his mouth gaping open.
“B-big brother?” He whispers looking from Mattie to Maya and back again. Maya painfully lowers herself into a crouch so that she can meet Harry’s eyes.
“Big brother. If you want that is. No matter your decision nothing will change how Mattie and I feel about you.” She reaches out and cups his cheek and bites her lip at the sight of tears in his brilliant green eyes.
“I… I’d love to be his brother… hear that Mattie, I’m brother Harry now, not cousin. I’m going to protect you and show you everything you’ll ever need to know.” He tells Mattie giving a kiss to the baby’s brown curls. Mattie squeals and makes a grab for Harry’s nose. “Between me and your Mama, you’re going to be so safe, not to mention Winnie.”
Maya sniffs and wipes at the tear that’s in her eye. She struggles to her feet again with some help from Harry. “Thank you, Harry. I’ll be back in a couple of hours and maybe we can go for some ice cream?”
“’Course! You never turn down ice cream.” Harry says mocking the serious tone that she has used on him in the past.
“Okay stay out of trouble you two. Winnie’s in charge.” Maya says before starting to walk a safe distance away.
“When isn’t she?” Harry sasses back and Maya can’t help but let out a belly laugh at that. That kid is far too smart for his own good. With a crack she apparates away knowing that she won’t be laughing again for a while.
The Ministry looks the same from the last time she had set foot in the institution. She can remember visiting her father here as a girl at his office in the International Magical Cooperation Department. Today she was on a mission to see the one person who probably will hex her into next week… or worse. This was bound to be the most painful and fraught reunion from her past.
As such, it deserved to be the first. Dumbledore doesn’t count in her book since the nosy old bastard invaded her home and her privacy. Maya waits in line to get her wand checked at security and releases a breath when she realizes that so far there’s no one who should recognize her. Afterall she was from a fairly minor noble family before the war and the Sutcliffe family liked to stay more on the inconspicuous side of politics.
After being cleared, she makes her way to the lifts for the Magical Law Enforcement. At this point Maya has practically broken through her lower lip in her nerves for this encounter. Once at the correct floor she slips out of the lift the best that she can with a bum knee that’s stabbing at her with a vengeance.
Maya makes her way to the secretary that’s at the front of the DMLE, her heart beating almost too fast for comfort. The secretary looks up when I’m about a foot away from the desk. “Welcome to the DMLE what can I do for you today?” the woman questions. Her hair is a bright blond and she stares intently at Maya over the tops of her glasses.
“I would like to see the Department Head. Yes, I know that I don’t have an appointment, but she’s going to want to see me. Give her this, and see what she says.” Maya hands over a small object to the befuddled witch.
“She’s very busy today.” The witch attempts to deny the request.
“I understand, but she’ll want to see me.” Maya repeats, watching the secretary until she gets up and disappears further into the department. She hopes that this works, if not, the other ways to get the woman to speak to her will be less orderly.
Not even a minute later the small witch is back with an amazed look on her face. “She’ll see you.”
Maya nods her head resigned. This is not going to go well. She hobbles after the secretary until she stops before an impressive door and knocks. The secretarial witch scurries away before it can be answered.
“Enter.” The voice from the other side causes a shiver to run down Maya’s spine. Taking a fortifying breath, she opens the door and limps through. The door slams shut behind her with a flick of the wand from the formidable witch in front of her.
“Madam Bones… impressive.” Maya manages to say before her courage fails. The red headed witch behind the desk’s face is set in an unreadable stiff mask. Maya loses her balance when her bad knee gives out, but is able to regain balance. The silence is heavy and filled with tension. This is almost worse than Maya had expected.
Suddenly the woman is out of her chair and the sting of the slap to Maya’s cheek is flaring. The force topples her, but before she can fall to the floor she’s grabbed.
“How dare you. How dare you come back here like this!” She seethes. “How dare you leave like that? Leave me?”
Amelia Bones looked like an avenging angel all flashing brown eyes and fury. The words stuck in Maya’s throat. How can you say everything and nothing all at once? The anger, the pain, the heartbreak. It was all there. All in Amelia’s eyes, the eyes that she once spent so much time getting lost in.
“I… I’m sorry… so, so sorry.” Maya chokes out. The fury grows.
“Sorry doesn’t cut it Maya Sutcliffe! We were at war. My brother was killed, his wife, countless others. That battle was terrible I didn’t know what happened to you, but all I know is that when the dust settled James and Lily were dead, Harry survived, and you were gone. No letter, no explanation, no goodbye.” She growls pacing away a few steps before turning back around to glare at her.
“I know… i-it was awful. I… I still have a hard time remembering exactly what happened that day. So many people died… y-you’d just lost your brother… and I lost everyone. J-James was all I had left, him, Lily, and baby Harry.” Maya trembles. “Something hit my head blood was streaming into my eyes, and the news… the Potter’s killed. My brother-my last family taken just like all the others!”
“Everything in England hurt, the air, the smells, the people there and past! I woke up somehow in a hospital in Warsaw. At that point… there was nothing left.” She whispers. A hurt noise leaves the other woman.
“I was here! I was here and you just disappeared. I loved you. We promised to always deal with things together!” Amelia swallowed thickly. “I needed you… and I’m pretty sure that you needed me too.”
Maya watched as the woman she still loved sank back down into her office chair. “I did need you… so much. My… my head was so messed up for a long time… a very long time. By the time I was able to wrap my head around most of it… it was too late. I’d been gone for too long.”
“So, you thought it would have been better to not even try? The Maya I knew was braver than that. She had guts and wouldn’t abandon those she loved.” Amelia snaps, her eyes blazing once more.
“That Maya… she’s so broken. I honestly haven’t felt this like myself until the last few months. I know I’m not a good person, I’m not a whole one either. I can barely stand or walk for more than ten minutes without a break. I get about two hours of sleep a night before waking up to nightmares that may as well be real.” Maya sighs. “I know that none of this matters anymore. Nothing that I can do can change it, and I don’t have anything to offer, except to apologize.”
She attempts to straighten up as much as she can, her knee screaming its agony. Amelia’s face has gone back to stone. Maya turns around and slowly makes her way to the door, moving at a snail’s pace through the pain.
“This doesn’t belong to me.” Amelia’s voice is soft. Maya freezes and slowly turns back around to stare at the other woman. The powerful and most badass woman Maya has ever known looks exhausted and drained. The light reflects off the shiny silver object in her hand. A lump lodges in Maya’s throat.
“I-I thought…” She stutters terribly overcome by emotion.
“Do you not want it anymore?” Amelia is staring intently into her eyes. It still feels like she’s searching her very soul till this day.
“It’s one of the most important things in my life.” Maya admits, her voice little more than a whisper. Amelia is back in front of her before she knows it, so close that she has to look up the tiny bit to keep their eyes connected.
“Then don’t give this back unless you really mean it.” She clasps Maya's fingers around the warm metal before stepping back. “A promise is a promise, no matter how broken.”
Weight suddenly lifts and crashes down on Maya’s shoulders simultaneously. The bond and oath it represented is something that she felt haunting her all those years, all the time spent running from the reality of her life.
“I live at the country estate now. No matter what… I’m not leaving again. I can’t.” Maya states. The things left unsaid hangs in the room after Maya limps out closing the door behind her. Amelia Bones Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement hesitates for a moment before reaching into the robes by her neck and pulls out a necklace.
Dangling on the chain is a silver ring identical to the one she just handed back to the woman who disappeared almost nine years ago with the other part of her heart. The ring warmed in her palm where Amelia clutched it. The warmth hadn’t been felt in a long time… at least three years.
There wouldn’t be this much pain if there wasn’t love to go with it.
Maya’s worst sin was now sitting back on her finger and traitorously it brought back the warmth and feeling of being complete with it. She didn’t even make it out of the department before she was caught with another face from the past. Arthur Weasley definitely looked older than when she last saw him. He had developed a belly and his red hair was beginning to bald at the top of his head.
“Well, I’ll be. Maya Sutcliffe, is that you?” He asks looking mystified at the sight of her. Maya scratches the back of her head guiltily.
“Hullo Arthur, it’s good to see you again.” No sooner had the words come out of her mouth, the man has wrapped her up in a hug. It pains her to feel the slight shake of the man that she had always thought of as a goofy older brother figure.
“Merlin’s beard… it really is you. Come! We must chat for a bit before I have to get back to work.” With that she’s led down one of the side corridors to a small office labeled the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. It’s about the size of a closet only slightly bigger than the damnable cupboard where Harry used to sleep before she rescued him.
Arthur scurries around to the other side of his overflowing desk. There’s another one wedged into the corner, but no occupant at the moment. “How many years has it been? Six- seven?” He queries.
“Eight.” Maya corrects attempting not to flinch at the numbers. Arthur merely hums and sends a gentle smile her way.
“You’re here now. That’s what’s important. So, where have you been again?” He asks a genial smile upon his face.
“A little bit of everywhere honestly. Poland, Greece, Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Sweden, Norway.” Maya says, before wincing. “It wasn’t that great of a time…”
“I can only imagine what you were going through. To still be standing after all that loss… it's impressive Maya. I’m only sorry that you didn’t think that you could turn to anyone.” His words are gentle, but they still sting. Not nearly as bad as Amelia’s, but then again nothing’s worse than the pain of wounded love.
We sit in silence for a few moments before the man brightens up and passes me a photo. I take it gently in my hands and see the large Weasley brood. “Oh, my Merlin. They’re so big! I can’t believe that’s Bill or Charlie! And the twins, they look old enough for Hogwarts. Is that little Ronnie? Arthur… you and Molly finally had your girl?” Maya can’t help the stream of words escaping her.
Once upon a time she knew this family so well, now they’re practically like strangers. “Yes! That’s Ginerva Molly Weasley. We call her Ginny since she gets really angry if we call her Ginerva.” Arthur has a full-on smile at this point.
“Sounds like Molly. You have a beautiful family, Arthur; I’ve always known that.” Maya passes the picture back to him and sighs.
“You’ll have to come over for dinner one night. Once Molly knows that I’ve seen you she’ll be ecstatic!” He sees the hesitation written all over her face. “You know she won’t take no for an answer and is not afraid to send a howler if need be. Bill got one the other day at Gringotts.”
Maya shivers at the memory of how loud and terrible Molly’s howlers are. She honestly doesn’t want to go, and isn’t ready for that many people. “Fine… I’ll have to bring mine along with me.” She admits.
“Yours?” Arthur asks puzzlingly. Maya takes a deep breath and lifts her gaze to meet Arthur’s pale blue one.
“My son, Mattie. And… and my nephew.” She states softly. Arthur’s eyes widen comically and he sinks back into his chair.
“Y-you don’t mean… Harry?” He asks so softly that she almost misses his words.
“Yes. I took custody over him when I got back… he wasn’t in a good place. I-I couldn’t leave him there Arthur. Not Harry… not James’ son.” Maya says a hard look flashing over her face momentarily.
“B-but Dumbledore swore he was in a safe place… that he was being loved and protected away from all the fame.” Arthur stutters looking absolutely bewildered. Anger simmering in Maya’s stomach.
“If love and protection is not being fed full meals, wearing clothes three sizes too big, and sleeping in the locked cupboard under the stairs. Harry has been living with me for not even two months yet and he has gained the weight he should have back with nutrient potions, and tells me that my home is the best place he’s ever been. That the aunt who left him for eight years is the person he looks up to and loves!” Maya hisses keeping her voice lower so as to not be overheard, while fighting back tears.
Arthur couldn’t fight the tears falling down his cheeks. “Dumbledore left him with Lily’s sister Petunia, who hates magic and everyone who practices it. They abused him, Arthur! I can never atone for leaving him to that, I-I thought he’d go to you, Sirius, or…” Maya chokes.
“Amelia.” The man across from her finishes the statement for her. Not many people knew that Amelia Bones and Maya had married shortly before that battle and that horrid night. That promise so fragile and warming her finger reminds her again of everything that she messed up in the wake of catastrophe.
“I-I just saw her. I-I thought that she should be the first to know that I’m back. She deserves at least that much from me.” Maya says the darkness in her mind that’s always there surges forward. She’s so screwed up. How can she expect to help others when she can barely help herself? Maybe she’s always been better at caring for others than herself.
Arthur doesn’t say anything which she appreciates. “You’re more than welcome to bring Harry and Mattie?” He poses her son’s name as a question.
“I found Mattie… in a situation that was unspeakable. He reminded me so much of Harry… small, innocent, alone… I couldn’t stand by and do nothing again. Mateo is four months old now and Harry adores him.” She says.
“I’ll send you a message on when to come over.” Arthur tells her as he stands again. Maya struggles to her feet wobbling slightly. “Is there nothing they can do?”
“No… irreparable damage from dark magic.” Is the simple reply that Maya gives. Leaving Arthur to his work she slowly starts her way out of the office and towards home. Just outside the department she’s stopped suddenly by a hand on her shoulder. Her breath catches at the sight of Amelia.
A slight red tint is on her pale cheeks bringing out the warmer tones of her eyes. “Use this and don’t be an idiot.” She snaps shoving a cherry stained cane into the hand of Maya’s bad knee. She blinks stupidly for a second before giving her a soft grin.
“I’ll work on my idiocy Madam Bones.”
A strangled sound comes out of Amelia’s mouth before she hurries away pieces of red hair flying out of her bun. The trip out of the Ministry is much faster with less pain thanks to the support from the unexpected gift from her… Maya doesn’t honestly know what to call her anymore.
As she sits in the late afternoon sunshine in front of the ice cream shop in the nearby little muggle town of Peywell with a happily chattering Harry and cooing Mattie, Maya runs her thumb over the shallow crest of the Bones family.