To leave one's home
...
...where am I?
I try to look around, I see nothing in fact can I even see? I feel like I am not Moving at all! I try to move my hands ..I fail, I try to move my eyes ..I fail, I try to breathe ..I fail.
I can't see, I can't feel, I can only think.. think of how terrifying this is! I know this feeling.. this helplessness is like.. when I had sleep paralysis, except.. I can't even see this time! It also reminds me of how I was in that void before reincarnation but even then I could still see! I.. ok no! Calm down.. no I can't calm down but force yourself to breathe! You can do that! Feel as if you're breathing even if it's fake it's going to help like it did before!
"You seem so scared, This isn't sleep paralysis you know?"
A mysterious voice echos in my mind, for some reason I can't figure out what it sounds like.. as if something is stoping me! what.. wait then ..what is this? Who are you!? How are you in my head!?
"Someone that is watching you, someone that cares about your journey and to be honest is happy her project is going well, and this place? Well your consciousness is in a completely different space just for our conversation"
...Project? Excuse me? What do you mean project!? I.. ..wait you're watching me?
"Yes, you're my project and you have been doing well, so I decided to meet you for the first time, even if briefly it is nice to meet you ..or more accurately glad to see you again I suppose"
..I never met you in my life.
"That's what you think.. now a last thing before I leave"
Wait leave!?
"Yes leave"
What do you mean yes leave!?
"Well that I will go-"
I got that! But you can't just say those things and leave!
"..hehe sorry I don't want to interfere on your journey so soon, I only wanted to congratulate you and make myself know so I will be leaving"
You..!
"As a last thing I will give you an advice, make your own journey, don't stick around and go on someone's shade, make your impact in this world.. that while being the one you know.. is different all the same"
...different? How so? And ...why do you care? What do you want with me!?
"...you will have to find that out on your own, and if you don't? I will tell you ...eventually for now keep on moving forward"
So you won't tell me and want me to keep on going as if nothing happened? ...then why bother letting me know this now? It's just going to make me anxious! And it's going to make everything harder!
The voice is silent for a few moments then says
"...sorry"
....
...Eh!?
"..what?"
You ..apologized?
"Of course I did.."
...um didn't think you were the type.
"...rude, but fair, now I shall leave have a nice journey ..and don't worry too much about the memories thing"
Wait you know about that!?-
Everything goes white
....
....
....
..I open my eyes, I am in my makeshift bed in the goblin but, it feels a bit smaller than I remember but I don't have time for this right now.
That dream.. no it wasn't a dream that happened didn't it? That person that talked to me.. she said she was watching me, that I was a project of hers ...I was under the impression my new life was luck but I guess not? ...and that place, the way I felt there I.. it was terrifying, but now I learned something new, whoever that person is.. they are responsible to this happening to me and they have an objective for me.
Honestly I.. I am scared like.. REALLY scared, I am being used by some being as a pawn, being played in some huge game or maybe just acting like a doll that's dancing for entertainment? I can't move right now.. but it isn't because of some special space ..it's fear it's anxiety, it's not that I truly can't move ..it's that I don't want to, I want to keep laying down.. I want to close my eyes put a blanket over me and cower away, hide myself from the eyes I now know are on me, I want to go back home!
...go back home ...I can't do that if I cower can I? ...I can't, I hate this.. I hate I am forced to ...do something! That I am being forced to move on! ..but I can't possibly back away now, not when I was given a second chance.. even if only to be used ...I need to make the most of it and try to find a way to free myself, and then go back home ..even if only to say goodbye.
I slowly move, my eyes teary, I can't afford to stay still ..if she wants to watch sure! Watch me break free! ...I know these emotions and motivational phrases are fake ...I can't help but feel hopelessness.. but if I can't depend on anyone else to cheer me up then I will just have to do it myself.. fake or not they are what I need.. I will make it, I will find out what happened and go back home.
Now I have plenty of information to digest but ..I can't right now I am not in an emotional state capable of that, instead I should digest something else, food ..yeah barely eatable or not it's still food, as I try to get up I almost fall it's judging how close to ground was, and when I get up I feel myself way bigger than I was before, Eh? What happened!? I am.. taller? And uhh..
Looking down I see my body, what was a toddlers body is now resembling that of an early teen ...a girl no less, my clothes are the same barely covering anything! I look away quickly.. just then my parents come in and see me like this.. and there I was casually wishing to hide myself in a hole and never come out of it.
....
....
So I evolved, that's right I am a hobgoblin now! How you might ask? I have no idea! ...well kind off, you see I was kinda confused, monsters in this world evolve when they have too many magicules for their current body, I am an otherworlder the quantity of magicules I have to start out is massive! So by that logic I should evolve as soon as I start right? Well I thought so too but I didn't evolve then ..so why evolve now? ...well I do have two theories, the first? That I was too Young, that's right It could be that my body was growing so it was adapting and not being overwhelmed by the quantity of magicules? And maybe it was accelerating the growth a bit ..because I was definitely goblin child that grew the fastest here by far, the problem with this theory is that it doesn't explain why I evolved now! Well it could be that because of my training it finally got to the point it overwhelmed my natural growth? But I have no proof of this only speculation.
My second theory is a lot more based on the way the world works or at least from my very understanding of it, I do know that a lot of the mechanics here are Will and desire based.. skills are a manifestation of that exact same thing, that's why no unique skill is exactly the same though they can be passed down, what I think would have happened is that because I wanted to do it, evolve that is, and I had the necessary magicules I kinda just did, I mean I had a pretty strong desire didn't I?
Now which theory is right? ...to be honest I don't know but if I were to guess.. Both? I mean the desire plus the training could have been the trigger for the first theory, well that's what I think anyway and now to I have to deal with it.
...looking at myself I am now better clothed, Good I couldn't afford to go outside looking like that, I am still super awkward with this body though.. like before it was something, I looked like I child and I could put it off but.. now that I am growing it is harder, you see the evolution definitely sped up the growth .. probably because unconsciously I didn't want to look like a child, still though... I am feeling embarrassed just looking at myself! Now it's not that I am attracted to this or anything, no of course not my body looks like it's 12 or 13 at best, but it's still awkward, like I am no longer a child, it doesn't have that "it's just a child" feel ..like when you see someone change their baby in public or something.. it's kinda awkward but no big deal ..this through? It's.. weird like something you shouldn't see, sighs honestly I will just do my best to ignore it and hope I become an adult next time ...then I will be feeling awkward for a different reason.
You're probably wondering where I got my new "clothes" ..or rags would be more accurate, well on the off chance an adventurer enters the great Forest of Jura ...they die, that's kinda obvious I mean look at what Kaval's party had to deal with, honestly I was born in a death trap of a forest, and when an adventurer dies they drop equipment.. right now I am using a torn robe on top of another with a simple old shirt and pants under them, not exactly a great look but it works, while on the subject of looks, I look at the water and see my reflection, ...I am uh shaping up to be a beauty huh? ..and the horns ..well they aren't lumps anymore, my hair is longer too though not much, and my eyes are the same, honestly I still don't know why I am like this.. and before you ask yes my race is "Hobgoblin?" ...it is still unsure for some reason, this brings me back to the voice I heard yesterday.. does it have anything to do with this? Seems I will have to find out myself.
With the new information I now have one more goal, find out who was the voice and why they did this to me, I mean I am grateful for the new life ...but I am not some pawn to be used in a "project" as they called it, so I will add that to the list and move on to my next objective Veldora.
Now why do I need to see Veldora? To get a name of course! A name is what every high ranking monster needs, also evolving into an Ogre would make things easier ..I mean they have some relationship with humans working as mercenaries for human countries, because of that it would definitely make any negotiation easier than if I was just a hobgoblin, and while the voice did say that I shouldn't stay in anyone's shadow and have my own journey ...and I kinda agree with it, I still think this is a good starting point ...now how do I plan on getting a name from Veldora? That's the hard part, I don't have much more than friendship to offer ..or do I? I mean I do have a plan to get him on my side but.. sighs well I suppose we should just wait and see.
I move through the village, I can feel everyone's eyes on me and I mean that quite literally, skills are something else man ...but they do make you feel awkward, why you and? Because I know for a fact everyone is looking at me, that's how it's always been here but I don't blame them, I mean overpowered baby over here made a big show in the first day with that aura so everyone obviously knows who I am and how strong I am, and now that I evolved it became even more obvious.. my aura grew too, I am suppressing it again but it definitely flared up earlier so that explains the Slightly afraid look ...while others look like they want to worship me which I will not be having.
I finally found father, he always was a bit of a weirdo but I can feel the good intentions screaming ..in truth I like him, even if he always does- He bows immediately after seeing me ...well this.
"Great prophet, my daughter, do you wish something of me?"
"..."
Like always calling me that! I am awkward enough as it is!
"..um ..father I will travel to meet veldora"
He is silent for a moment, I mean of course he is I just told him I will go meet their god, honestly he couldn't have seen that coming-
"Of course, we were expecting this moment!"
...expecting? Eh?.hold on why is everyone coming together? ...and of course they just kneeled down and now in a somewhat united voice they say:
"We wish you great travels, oh great prophet"
...this was dad's idea wasn't it? Looks like he will say something.
"..we readied some things for you to take, we will support you and give you anything you need ...we only ask that you ask for blessings and mercy upon us when you meet our Lord"
...I hate this, I am cringing on the inside! Why do I have to be some ...religion leader!? Can I not escape this kinda role? Like how come I get a scrip like that!? It's like sulky old school opera at best ...seems I am finally calming down to make jokes but my material is as bad as always.
After that I gathered a few things, seems the clothes they prepared for me ..are the ones I am already wearing, I guess my evolution made them give them to me early, I also received this, I look at my hands in them I hold a sword, the best sword of the village stolen from an adventurer probably, now best sword is a bit of an exaggeration, because it is not really that good it just seems like a normal sword, the thing is we are goblins the quality of our stuff is.. looks at the cooking knife ...it looks more serrated than anything ..by holes, anyway I also got a small bag with food and water ..which is actually a lot considering how, well there is no sugar coating it, poor we are, so in the end of the day it is a lot ...I am kinda moved so I will forget the public humiliation from earlier ...Mother will scold father anyway.
Talking about her, she walked into the room just now, because of my evolution I am about the same size as her, actually the horns make me taller, she always was more reasonable... I have a feeling she never went on with the whole "Prophet thing" because she treated me normally, then again it's only been a week and a few days ...I somewhat wish I could stay here a bit longer and learn more about them but I do think I should get my name first, also just because I am leaving doesn't mean I will abandon everyone, even if I wasn't sent here by luck my body was still brought to this world by them and I plan on taking care of them for a bit ..before Rimuru takes them in anyway.
"You're getting ready?"
I look and hear mother speak to me, she sounds kinda sad, thinking about it I probably ruined their dream of a normal family huh? I saw how hard father ..even if a weirdo, worked for everyone even after I was born, actually maybe he broke because of it? And to think after working so hard they get a daughter like me.. urg! I feel awful now.. I will make it up to them I promise.
"..I almost ready"
I say a little bit hesitant, I have some difficulty talking to, well everyone, but to them specifically more ...probably because of the whole parents thing combined with my fear ...how would they react to knowing who I am? Not some prodigy child.. their daughter but me, a 21 year old man? Imagine they would be revolted and I mean.. they can't hurt me phiscally, I am far stronger than them, but ..the words of disdain ...I can already imagine them and that ..that's the thing that fills me with fear.
"You always have so little to say, my "prophet""
I can't help but scowl a little at that, honestly I never liked this whole prophet thing, I kinda get why everyone went along with it because it seemed like the only explanation ..and my father being the leader made it more believable, I still dislike it though and mother never seemed like she fully bought it ...please don't tell me the evolution changed that I can't deal with this right now.
"..you really dislike that huh?"
Eh? I mean yeah but.. am I that obvious?
"Don't look surprised.. you got a very expressive face you know?"
That's.. well so I am an open book huh? ..great I guess that's something to remember ...I don't want to be easily read in the future ..but I guess by my mom it's fine.
"..tell me, are you.. actually a prophet?"
Oh she.. is actually asking that question, I am kinda nervous now.. what if she asks if I know why I am like this? Should i lie to her? ..I don't want to though.. I guess for now I will answer
"..no"
"..I guessed that, I mean I am pretty sure our Lord never did something like this before.. though I couldn't be certain our parents never taught us about it so it probably didn't happen then so why would it happen now? ..hehe your father got ahead of himself again, that's just how he is, while I prefer to take my time"
That's true ...they are very different and to be honest that makes them a cute couple! ...even if mom is basically just pulling on dad's ear when he goes too far, it's also nice that mom didn't believe the prophet thing, and even better that she didn't ask about-
"...my daughter, what are you?"
!? ...I can't help but flinch at that, oh ..oh god what do I say? Do I tell the truth? Or.. actually.. why ..why am I even so nervous? I mean if they don't like me anymore it's not that big of a deal right? I only know them for a week and a few days after all ...no I can't even fake not caring, I don't want them to think about me like this! But.. why? ..and what do I do?
"...Did that make you uncomfortable?"
I can't just say it can I? In fact I feel.. both scared and embarrassed just thinking about it! I need.. I need time! I need to put this off! But.. what do I tell her?? I.. let's.. try..
"I.. can't say right now ..I am not ready and.. you would not like it"
She is silent for a few seconds.. that.. was so awful please understand mom.. ...she is still looking at me ..those eyes i.. I can't help but turn away my gaze ...or I try to before she takes my face in her hands and looks at me in the eyes.. her eyes.. my mother is.. well she is pretty ..but as a goblin would be, her hair? Somewhat messy, her face? Simple with long ears and a bit of a long nose, and yet ..that look she is giving me ..it's so ..so warm and pretty I can't look away.
"You are my daughter.. I am.. not sure what else you are but you were brought to this world by me and I will accept whatever you are ...whenever you are ready to tell me, I haven't known you for long but.. I already love you .. don't forget that ok?"
....
....you.. I..
...I don't deserve this, why? Why am I always so blessed with a family like this? ...I can't I..
"..oh dear that's.."
Tears appear in my eyes, they fall softly through my cheeks into my mother's caring hands, I just.. couldn't take it anymore, I was a fool, of course.. of course she would accept me, I.. no enough going around this ..I am telling her, I am telling her everything ..I don't care for the consequences I need this right now, so I will do it, I will choose to believe in her.. like she is believing in me.
"M-mom?"
"..yes?"
"..I ... want to talk ..about everything"
"..."
All I see is a soft smile appearing on her face, man.. I truly am blessed.
...
...
Thinking about it, this was the second time I cried in this world.. truly cried that is, the first was because of my previous family ...and the second about my new one, it's strange how similar yet different they were.. from that point on though the conversation went by smoothly, well kind of ...about as expected.
"...an otherworlder?"
"Y-yes"
"...as my child"
I do a small nod.
"...I.. didn't even think that was possible"
"..."
"...it does explain everything though ...you definitely didn't act like a child for a single moment ...well safe for just now"
"...! M-mom!"
"..hehe"
"...wait you're not.. I mean.."
"...mad? ...well no I am more ..shocked I guess?"
...you don't look or sound shocked.
"..but .. truly that doesn't change what I said did it? ..maybe ..you were someone else but you're my daughter now ..that won't change ..or maybe you want to be both? I don't that either way"
"..!"
"Oh don't cry again.. ...actually do cry I want to cuddle you while I still can"
"Wha-!? You..y-you can't just tell your child to cry!"
"I can and I just did"
..and so I am hugged ..yeah it didn't go as I expected nowhere near it actually.. still I couldn't be happier to be wrong.
"So you're still leaving?"
"Yes I.. need to see Veldora"
"...well we will here waiting for your return, so please take care, and if things are hard.. you can always return early you're not invincible remember that"
"..."
She cares so much ..urg I feel so..
"..don't make that face ..if you want a hug just do it"
"..o-ok"
...don't judge me, you don't know how alone I have been feeling these last couple of days, and this.. actual love it's.. I missed this, but with this out of the way it's.. time to leave huh?
After I was done with everything I went to say goodbye to everyone, mother told me she would explain my situation herself ...I appreciate that a lot, maybe when I am back things will be simpler? Well I just hope they stop with the prophet thing.
Right now everyone is here, mom convinced father to not make them bow to me which makes me more comfortable, I love her, seems they are just waiting to send me off.
"...goodbye everyone.. father.. mom ..I love you"
That felt.. so genuine, it's strange.. maybe it was because of [thought acceleration] but.. the time I spent here felt way longer than a week ..it feels like they are my family, is this a consequence of having a shorter lifespan I wonder? I am just.. getting accustomed quickly? ...I feel there's more to that, like something changed when I talked to mom in that cabin, I mean sure I cared enough to know I would be back to help them later before but.. now I feel like I need to do it, like it's a responsibility that I can't live without, I guess I did fully accept her as family huh? Mom is fantastic after all ..still to do that after knowing her for so little, I may have a bit of an open heart.
Having said that I finally start to make my way out of the village.. it feels like this took forever! But now I am finally making my way through the forest.. following a straight line to Veldora's cave by following the directions father gave me until I can feel his aura with energy sense, there is no trail on the forest.. at least not in the direction I am going so ..I am basically having to be super careful not to go the wrong way.
Bzzz
Hmm? That noise..
Bzzz!
...there is definitely something nearby.
Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz!
Ok I am done with this, I am turning on [magic sense], let me see what the hell even are you- oh..
Ohhh.. oh no..
I locate the origin of the noise, and I see It, the terrifying incarnation of terror in the flesh and endoskeleton.. it's huge insect body flies in the air with it's weird wings ..it's vibrant yellow and black color scheme easily identifiable in the forest.. it's size? Like that of a wolf.. this thing.. this horrific monster.. is a Bee.
Bzzz!!!
Or rather ...a dozen of them.