Chapter Three
Being a ‘free man’ as Sirius put it, (seeing as no one likes him and he was only mildly in love with Lily now) James attempted to ignore the prospect of “love” and focus on his studies. Well, focus on Quidditch.
“Prongs, it is TOO early for this.” Sirius was staggering along beside him, his quidditch uniform rumpled and partially unbuttoned.
“It’s never too early for quidditch! If you want to be a professional, this is when you’re going to have to get up!” He swung a leg over his broom and motioned for Sirius to do the same.
“James, it is four in the morning. Any captain that wants us up this early is gonna have their hopes crushed,” he followed suit, levitating slightly. “Plus, with the war, it’s not like we’re gonna have time for things as foolish as quidditch.” Sirius jokes
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He’s been trying not to think about that. “If we even make it that long.” James doesn’t really know why he’s so solemn right now, maybe it’s because- no. He’s not going to think about that right now.
“Shit I’m sorry Prongs- I know your parents are-“
“Don’t, Sirius.”
“Yeah, yeah of course. Sorry Prongs”
“Right. I’m gonna go see if I can find Remus.”
“I’ll come with you!”
“That’s alright Pads, I need to talk to him about Magical Creatures, you’ll just find it boring.” James knew he saw right through the lie, but he seemed to get the message.
“Yeah, I would. See ya Prongs.”
“Mhm! Bye.”
He did not succeed in finding Remus, for he took the map, but he did find someone else in the library.
“Reggie! Hi!”
“James? Since when did you care for your studies?”
“You’re incredibly funny Reg, haha. I was actually here to give you a detention for being out past curfew.”
He gestured to his ‘Head Boy’ badge.
“Out past..” Regulus checked his watch, “James, it’s 8:03. It is three minutes past. Plus, in case you forgot, I too am a prefect?” He pulled his pin out of his pocket, before stuffing it right back in.
“Your no fun. And what aren’t you wearing it?” Regulus looked at James with a pointed glance, before gesturing to where Remus was now walking into the library, his own custom made tin pin was on his breast pocket.
“You.. know?”
“I wasn’t sure, but thank you for confirming it for me.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck indeed. Be more careful next time, will you?” With that, Regulus packed up his quill set and made for the door.
“Reggie, wait!” Regulus sped up. “Cmon Reg, what did I do?” He followed him out the door, and grabbed hold of his arm; causing Regulus to stop abruptly and swung around, a more terrified look on his face than James has seen on anyone. Even Sirius, the day he came to James and his- to James’ house.
“Let go of me.” His voice was small, and he was shaking violently. James wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug and tell him he’s okay, but he let go anyways.
“Sorry, I’m sorry Reg, fuck-“
“Just,” he interrupted him, “go. Please?” James has never heard him sound more desperate- he’s going to kill whoever made him react that way to being touched.
“Yeah Reg, I’m sorry, are you.. are you okay?”
“I’m fine James. It’s past curfew, right? Go ahead to complete your rounds.” With that, he was gone. And all James could think about was the way his name sounded in Regulus’ mouth.
His leg bobbed as he waited for his new weekly prefect partner, and his brain kept going back to the way Regulus had frozen when he was touched.
“James? James!” He was snapped out of his thoughts to a hand in his shoulder, shaking him gently.
“Shit! Sorry Moony,” Remus was knelt in from of him, his face a mix of confusion and worry.
“You’re fine.. are you alright Prongs?” He moved to sit next to him on the bench,
“Yeah I’m fine, just tired is all.” With the look James got, he knew there was no way Remus believed him.
“I saw you in hallway earlier, after you left the library?” It wasn’t exactly a question, but James nodded anyways. Remus seemed to take this well, “you looked pretty shaken, wanna tell me what happened?”
“I’m not sure how to explain it,” he really wasn’t. It felt wrong to talk about Regulus’ reaction to touch without exposing something about him in some strange way.
“Try.” So James did,
“Well, this *person*,” Remus nodded to show he was listening, but he didn’t interrupt James in any way. “He always avoids me, and I don’t know why. It’s like I did something to him, but I don’t know what!” He took a breath to calm down. “And earlier today, in the hallway, I grabbed his arm to talk to him; I didn’t think I grabbed it hard, but he flinched, and when he turned around, it was like he’d seen a ghost. He was shaking Remus, shaking,” he hadn’t even noticed the tears until Remus handed him a hankercheif. He wasn’t sad, not about Regulus at least, he was just angry. Angry about the war, angry about the Order, angry about whoever the *fuck* thought they could hurt Regulus in a way that made him flinch from a single touch.He took the cloth from Remus and wiped his face, covering himself with the worn cloth for a second before e passing it back to his friend.
“James,” Remus looked at the ground, his mouth opening and closing as if he was trying to find out what to say; “whoever this *person* is, they seem to mean a lot to you;”
“I’m not really sure why, but, they do.” His voice was small, fragile.
“Maybe you should.. talk to them? About their.. reaction?” He wished it was that easy. He wanted to talk to Regulus, but Regulus didn’t want to talk to him.
“I wish I could Remus, I wish I fucking could.” Remus stood and reached his arm out to James.
“Right. Well this *person* may or may not be on rounds with us right now, so maybe we should get a move on?” James’ head snapped up to where Regulus was now rounding the corner. He quickly wiped the rest of his face, mentally thanking Remus’ excellent sense of smell for warning him about Regulus.
“Of course you knew who I was talking about, you’re too smart for your own good Remmy.”
“Maybe, or maybe I just saw you and Regulus in the hallway?”
James didn’t get the chance to respond, Regulus had made it to the two of them, looking incredibly resentful to be there.
“Remus, Potter.” He nodded to both of them, somehow looking more mature than two people older and taller than him.
“Hey Reggie!” James put on his best grin, and Remus plastered a small smirk on his face at the two of them.
“Hi Regulus.”
“Let’s get going, yeah? Unless you two felt like sitting around all patrol gossiping like two drama induced Ravenclaws?” James truly smiled at that. It was always funny when Regulus insulted him, even though it should probably have the opposite effect.
“You bet Reggie. You tagging along with us this time Remus?”
“Nah, Lily’s with Pomfrey tonight. Something about her stomach hurting. I’m gonna go see if she’s well enough to patrol or if I should do them myself.” A faded feeling awoke in James’ chest, a longing for a girl that would never love him as much as he did.
“Alright. Tell her I hope she feels better, yeah?”
“Sure thing Prongsie.” Remus grabbed his bag, saluted him and Regulus, and walked down the Hallway.
“Alright Reg, you ready?” He turned to an empty hallway, his eye just barely catching Regulus as he turned the corner at the end of the hall. “Regulus! Wait!”
He darted after him, easily catching up. “You’d think being a Seeker would make you fast enough to outrun me.”
“I wasn’t trying to outrun you, I just knew you had a knack for chasing things lie a dog playing fetch. No matter how often you lose in Quidditch.
“Gryffindor literally beat you in the last match!” He retorted.
“I know. You have an excellent team, except for that tall tan guy with the glasses.”
“You think I’m tall?” He beamed at Regulus in the way that he knew made the guy stumble over his words. He’s been told his smile was blinding by a few people, but it seems to really have an effect on Regulus.
“Let’s just complete our rounds, alright?” James nodded, and they did just that. In silence. It was torture, but Regulus seemed very on edge, so James didn’t want to bug him. It was entertaining enough to watch the boy go about his tenseness anyways.
“You’re staring.” The noise in a sea of silence made James jump. He settled back into step with Regulus before looking him in the eyes and responding, “Your fun to watch.”
They finished their patrols with James beaming and Regulus about as red as the Gryffindor banner they were in front of.