Halloween 1981, for the second time
October 31st 1981, 11:43 p.m., again
The telephone rang.
Remus’ stomach dropped. The telephone hadn't rang in weeks. Or had it?
No. That was a dream. A nightmare.
But unlike in his nightmare, he didn't let it ring twice. He conquered the room within a second and reached for the phone.
"Yes?" he barked.
“Remus-“ Mary’s teary voice, just like it had been in his dream, sounded through the receiver “Something awful has happened.”
"No. What. Mary, stop!"
He slammed the phone down so hard he heard a ringing sound.
This is not happening. He is still dreaming. He must be caught in a nightmare.
"Wake up," he yelled. "Remus, wake the fuck up now!"
The phone rang again.
"Fuck!" Remus exclaimed.
Then he picked it up.
"This is a joke, right? A prank?" His voice was breathless and panicked.
He heard Mary's breathing, quick but low, as she stammered for words.
"Remus, listen. They're gone. L-Lily and Jame-," her voice broke as sobs ripped through her.
He dropped the receiver, his hands too shaky to hold onto anything.
What is happening?
He ran towards the door and pulled it open.
October 31st 1981, 12:51 p.m., again
A loud thump from his upstairs neighbour woke Remus.
James. Lily. Harry. And then, he was unsure. Did he really dream all that? Did any of it happen? Can you even dream that you wake up from a dream twice within one dream? His head hurt and so did his heart as worry crept itself across it.
"No. No, no, no, no, no!" he yelled. Within seconds, Remus jumped out of bed and looked out the window. Pumpkins and children dressed up in costumes crowded the street under his apartment.
What the fuck is going on?
He switched on the telly and zapped through the channels. An independent news report was running, the woman on screen wore a witch hat that must have belonged to a muggle costume.
"-crime rate on the day of Halloween has been steadily rising for the last years, so be careful out there tonight, but have a bewitching time nonetheless," she commented with a big smile accompanying her awful joke.
It's Halloween. How is it fucking Halloween again?
He must be losing his mind. The loneliness, Sirius gone, no friends, not even a proper job. It was getting to him. That must be it.
Remus stood up and went to the sink. A used teacup sat inside it, stained with yesterday's brew.
This cannot be happening.
Again, he ran to his window, just in time to catch the neighbours' children, Jack and Hanna, leaving the housing complex in their costumes, jumping excitedly and chattering away.
"I'm losing it," he whispered, realising that talking to himself did not help his situation.
With a cigarette in his mouth, one hand looking for a lighter, the other dialling Mary's number, he tried to calm himself. There was a reasonable explanation and he would figure it out.
"This is Mary," spoke her clear voice. She sounded sad, as she always did since Marlene was killed but not sad like "my best friends died a few hours ago".
"Mary, it's me, Remus. Listen-," he began but he didn't know what to say.
Hey Mary, did you call me yesterday to say that Lily and James d-. He couldn't bring himself to even think the words.
He took a sharp drag from his cigarette as Mary replied: "Oh, hi, Remus."
"Er, well, I was wondering-," another inhale filled with smoke followed his stumbling words as he tried to figure out the best way to phrase whatever he wanted to say.
"Well, did you ring me yesterday?"
She didn't reply for a few seconds, perplexed by the strange question.
"No, I- I didn't. Why? Today's Halloween, it's not Sirius' birthday yet. Not that I would only call because of that, but, eh, no, I didn't ring you."
"Okay. Um, great," Remus replied. So he was actually losing his marbles.
The mentioning of Sirius stung deep.
"Remus, are you alright? You sound strange," she wondered and suddenly he was taken back to their school days, just hours after the full moon as he would return from the hospital wing and lie on a scarlet sofa, surrounded by his friends, some knowing, others not.
"Remus?" she inquired again.
"Yeah, sorry, everything's fine. I, eh, think I might be comin' down with something," Remus replied.
"Listen, it was nice talking to you, I'll try to come around next week, yeah?"
"That sounds great. Feel better," the doubt in her voice still translated through the receiver as they said their goodbyes.
"I need to get out of here," he whispered to himself, threw the cigarette in the sink and dressed himself. The same clothes as the ones he had put on in his dreams.
"All my fucking clothes look the same. So fucking what?"
He really needed to see some other people except the ones on the telly.
But he knew fucking no one. No one, so he felt, that would want to see him, or that he himself would be interested in meeting up with.
As he lit another cigarette, Remus put on his trainers and took them off again, instead choosing the pair of boots.
"New day, new me, new fucking shoes."
He wandered through the streets of northern London. A light drizzle, as always, wet his hair and clothes but he didn't care. People passed him, mainly children or already drunk teenagers. A quick glance at his beat up watch told him that it was a little after half past 1.
The bar - that was the bar's actual name - was almost empty except a man which Remus always saw when he came in here. By now, he would have assumed the man was the owner if he didn't regularly shove a couple of coins towards the bartender.
Remus sat down at a small table and ordered curry. It was always awful but it reminded him a little bit of Euphemia Potter's cooking even if hers was a million times better. Had been.
As he waited for his food, he wondered how Peter was doing. He missed him, too. Awfully so.
All Remus wanted was a little company from someone that loved him. Not many of those people were left nowadays.
No wonder he was dreaming of James and Lily dying.