i knew you once

“James, Regulus has been making really impressive leaps with his treatment, however, I see that the more progress we make, the more…blockades I encounter, whether his own or externally placed, I’m not sure yet. Though I’m not naive when it comes to Regulus’ past nor do I judge him for it, what we are both about to see will be hard and he needs to be prepared for it. Please speak to him about Voldemort and whatever else you might know about that time in his life because I fear what we are about to encounter is something neither of us will be fully ready for.”

Mayfield’s words hung in his mind like a weight, clinking around his skull like a pocket full of loose knuts, jostling with each step. 

He’d been getting so worked up over her words that he put off telling Regulus about any of it. His next appointment with her was to be in three days time and he had no idea how to broach the topic much less go into great length about it. 

Ever since Regulus stayed over to have dinner, they’ve barely spent more than a day apart, whether it was at the cafe or out at dinner together, even a quick stop by the bar just to get a drink lest they start to miss each other too much.

James still felt butterflies at the prospect of seeing him day-in and day-out and now, as James gazed at Regulus, smiling serenely as he leaned on the railing overlooking the Seine, he couldn’t find it in him to ruin the mood.

Regulus, feeling his eyes on him, turned to look at him, a breeze running off the water to ruffle through his hair, “I can feel it y’know.”

“Feel what?” he asked, reaching over to cover Regulus’ cold hand with his, their warming charm slowly weakening under the brunt of night.

“The other shoe about to drop, Mayfield looked worried at the end of our last appointment and I know you’ve been holding back from me.”

While he wanted to protect the peace, it was clear Regulus had no qualms about it.

James outwardly groaned, stretching out his cold muscles, “I don’t want to,” he protested petulantly. 

Regulus squeezed his fingers and shifted closer, “You don’t think keeping my own life from me is a bit manipulative? You don’t want to be manipulative do you?” He joked, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

James wrapped his arms around Regulus, tugging him in close, “I don’t want to be manipulative, I just want to be happy .”

There was a beat of silence as the two of them listened to the water lapping up against the stone barriers before Regulus asked, “Is it really that bad?”

And for the first time, James decided to be honest about it, “Yes it is.”

“Come to mine tonight?” he replied instead and James felt the words rush over him like a soothing balm, he nodded and they headed back towards his flat, James sending a quick text to Lily as they walked.

____________

“Lectio Libri” James whispered into Regulus’ ear as he aimed his wand at the book in his lap.

The two of them were nestled together on his sofa, James stretched out with his back against the armrest, and Regulus reclined between his legs with a book in hand. James feigned interest in the text but was perfectly content to simply sit like this, holding him, basking in his presence. He burrowed his head deeper into the curve of Regulus' neck as he wound his arms around his waist, earning a soft, pleased hum in return.

“It’s not working,” he frowned as he tossed his wand to the floor and flipped the page himself as though it was some great task.

“You just need some practice,” James murmured. “Do you want to try again?” He started to sit up, but Regulus stopped him, setting the book aside. Turning in James’ arms, he shifted onto his stomach, bringing them face-to-face.

Up close, Regulus was somehow even more breathtaking, when James could count the constellation-like freckles on his cheek and the specks of silver in his eyes.

“Absolutely not,” he frowned and instead leaned up so that he could press a slow and heated kiss to his lips, his fingers just brushing under his jaw and resting at the point where his pulse was surely fluttering against his fingertips.

When James was about to pull away, Regulus pushed in even closer, his hands running up his chest to rest on his shoulders, toying with the collar of his jumper. His lips trailed down to his neck, nipping at the skin there and James had to gather up the last of his restraint to pull himself away.

“Regulus, we shouldn’t—” James’s voice faltered as he looked down at him, worry already flickering in his eyes. 

“Why? Do you not like me—?”

“Of course I do,” James interrupted with a disbelieving laugh, the idea almost absurd. “That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I just— I don’t want to take advantage of you. If this isn’t what you want, or if you’re not—”

Regulus cut him off with a small, knowing smirk. “Surely you’re not concerned about my innocence, James. Even if I don’t remember, I’d wager we did far more than just kiss .”

The look in Regulus’s eyes—dark, teasing—paired with the way he bit his lip as he glanced up through his lashes, sent a flood of memories rushing through James’ mind. The things they’d done together, the intimacy they’d shared. But somehow, this felt different. They weren’t the same people they had been, and James wasn’t sure it was right to blur those lines now.

“James,” Regulus said suddenly, his voice soft but insistent, “will you be my boyfriend?”

The question hit him like a bludger, leaving his mind blank for a moment. He had been thinking about asking Regulus that very thing, but hearing it so unexpectedly right now sent him reeling. “Of course,” he managed, his voice steady despite his surprise.

Regulus’ lips quirked in satisfaction as he leaned in, biting the spot where James’s neck met his shoulder. The sharp sting was quickly soothed as Regulus ran his tongue over the mark, a playful laugh escaping him. “There. Now you won’t have to worry about defiling me anymore.”

He nipped at James’ earlobe, his warm breath sending shivers down his spine. He felt himself melt under his touch, unable to resist the pull Regulus had over him.

His hands moved instinctively to Regulus’ waist, the fabric of his shirt hanging open as he leaned over James. His fingertips brushed the hem, tentative, before finding warm, smooth skin beneath—just as he remembered. It was as though the faint impressions of his touch from years ago still lingered there, haunting and familiar.

Just as with their first kiss, James let Regulus take control. Regulus crawled fully into his lap, his legs straddling him, and with the stifling heat between them, James couldn’t ignore the feeling that there were far too many layers separating them. Sensing this, Regulus slid his fingers down to the hem of his shirt, skimming lightly across his waistband before tugging the fabric over his head. When their lips didn’t meet again, James opened his eyes, only to find Regulus staring at him, his expression wide with something between awe and disbelief.

“What is it?” he questioned between pants.

“What is this?” Regulus asked, a disbelieving laugh escaping him. His gaze was fixed on the tattoos inked across his chest and midsection. There were more than a few—a set of antlers stretched across his hips, a snitch etched along his ribs, moon phases lining his side, stars scattered beneath his collarbone, and several others he’d just gotten for fun. James often forgot about them himself until moments like this when someone so plainly reminded him of them. “I didn’t take you for a tattoo person,” he remarked, his tone a mix of curiosity and amusement.

“Not into them?” he asked, looking down at himself. He suddenly began wondering whether Regulus still had his tattoos too, the matching ones they got so long ago…

He traced a fingertip across the prongs of the antlers, his touch so light that it left gooseflesh in its wake, “Oh I’m very into them.” James could feel his smile form against his skin as he began pressing kisses down his chest.

James was nothing but trembling hands and gasping breaths as Regulus gave and took in equal measure. 

This was something James had only ever dared to dream of—only to wake up to an empty bed and an aching heart. For all the love he still held for Regulus, he had missed the simple comfort of having someone to hold in that way. There had never been a replacement for that, no fleeting connection that could satisfy the void. After Lily, he had spent years adrift, alone in both body and soul. But now, to have Regulus back—not just as a memory but as something real, tangible, and whole—felt like a gift he didn’t dare believe he deserved.

Their breaths turned into moans of longing and pleasure as their skins became slick and the feelings of bliss were all that mattered as their clothing came off, both of them racing towards that high that had been building between them since they first met.

They ended up in a mess of weightless limbs on the sofa, much like they had started the evening, and Regulus was now intent on taking the time to actually analyse his tattoos.

“What’s this?” he asked, referring to the snitch.

“We have a game called Quidditch- it’s kind of like a mix between football and baseball except we play up on brooms up in the air. We were both on our house teams at school and we were both seekers. Their role is to catch the golden snitch, that’s what this is, and whoever catches it ends the game and usually, they end up winning.”

“That sounds terrifying,” he smiled, “Was I any good?”

He made a show of pretending to think long and hard, cringing his face, and Regulus slapped him on the chest, rolling his eyes.

It turned out that Regulus didn’t have any of his old tattoos anymore. In fact, aside from the mark on his arm, he didn’t have a single scar either. It was as if he had been made anew, every trace of the past erased, taking with it the memories those scars once held.

To James, it felt almost like a betrayal to see them gone. While he would never wish those scars on Regulus, they had been proof of the life he’d lived—the battles he’d fought and the things he’d endured. Now, it wasn’t just his mind that was a blank slate, but his body too.

“And the stars are for my brother and I, I presume?” he asked with a raised brow.

Correct again.

After they’d explored his tattoos, James gently took Regulus’s wrist, his thumb brushing over the rough, scarred skin there. “You had a tattoo here once,” he murmured.

Regulus frowned, his face twisting in thought as he glanced down at his arm, almost as if he could see through to it. “Really? On my forearm?” He let out a soft laugh, raising an eyebrow. “A bit gauche, don’t you think?”

“Yes, you thought so too,” he smiled. The only time they ever spoke about his mark before had been through shouting and tears as they argued over anything and everything. It was a different experience entirely to be talking about it in this way, as if rewriting over their dark past.

“Does it have to do with Voldemort?” he asked hesitantly, reading the pain in James’ face so clearly.

James nodded because he needed to be honest- he needed to prepare Regulus for what was to come.

“Voldemort is the name of a very dark and powerful wizard. He attended Hogwarts, was in Slytherin house, and I don’t know much about his youth but at some point during his time there, he developed pure-blood supremacist ideals- spreading his thoughts on how wizards are the supreme being and that muggles are lesser-than, half-bloods as well.

“He garnered quite a following, scrounging up all the witches and wizards, mostly purebloods, who supported his cause and he started gaining political power as well, integrating himself and his followers in positions of power in the Ministry and other governmental positions. 

“Since then he’s only grown in power, killing anyone who dares to stand against him and collaborating with foreign governments as well to secure his rule, spreading his influence like an infection across Europe.

“In any case, his followers are called ‘Death Eaters.’ There’s a hierarchy within them but the highest of them are those who were ‘marked.’ You were marked.”

For a strange moment, James found himself missing the sight of the mark. He never thought he’d feel that way, but its absence was disorienting—a stark reminder that this wasn’t the same Regulus he had lost all those years ago.

He immediately bristled, his calm from before gone, “I would never side with someone like that. How could I be- No I wouldn’t,” he stammered adamantly.

“I know that,” James tried to soothe him, “You didn’t choose it. But your family did—being who they were, pureblood and all—and you were forced into it.”

Regulus’ eyes grew glossy, and James regretted his words immediately. He wished he could rewind time, undo the moment, and let them stay in their fragile little bubble—safe from the pain he had just unearthed. But there was no going back now. He braced himself, ready to bear the weight of what he had caused.

“Why would they do that?” his voice cracked on the last word as he looked to James.

“They weren’t very good people Reg,” he whispered the words as though that would lessen their blow.

He swiped angrily at his eye before a tear had even fallen, “Is that why Sirius left me?”

“No, it’s not but it did…contribute to your falling out.” 

Regulus nodded, his gaze distant and unfocused as though lost in some far-off place. “I feel a migraine coming on… I think I’d like to go to bed now,” he said, standing and pulling the throw blanket around himself, shielding his body from view as if the exposure was suddenly unbearable.

James felt like his insides had been hollowed out and he wanted nothing more than to find shelter from the storm of emotions swirling around them.

Regulus didn’t say anything as he leaned down to knit his fingers through James,’ tugging him up to his feet. He led him toward the bedroom, their steps quiet in the stillness of the flat. James had been ready to stay on the sofa but he supposed it was a bit too late for that now.

As they walked, James found himself staring at the back of Regulus’s head, his heart swelling with admiration. Despite everything—the constant mind-healer appointments, the weight of running the café, the loss of his memories—Regulus carried it all with a grace and strength that left James in awe.

He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he woke up one day, alone and memoryless, thrust into a foreign world. He doubted he’d be half as resilient as Regulus was now.

James loved him.

He loved him so much it felt like it might burst from his chest, like he could scream it into the void just to release the sheer magnitude of it.

But that wasn’t a revelation for tonight.

After a long, exhausting day filled with unsolved problems and unfinished conversations, there was nothing more they could do. The world’s chaos would still be waiting for them tomorrow anyhow. For now, all they could manage was crawling into bed, switching off the lights, and holding each other close—rebuilding their fragile bubble, one quiet moment at a time.

A single night wouldn’t erase the pain. But it might help.

____________

Two days later, James was in Regulus’ office after his shift, kicking his feet up on the small coffee table and getting comfortable while Regulus worked diligently at his desk. He’d originally only come in here to ask Regulus to order some more supplies needed for the shop and he simply hadn’t left as they got to talking. He eventually wandered over to the shelf and found a book while Regulus resumed his task, the two of them cohabiting in contented silence.

Until Regulus said, “Will I ever get to see my old friends?”

“Hm?” James asked, suddenly engrossed in, he read the cover, Little Women .

“I’ve seen my old friends in my memories- Evan, Pandora, some others. I know you can’t quite go to Britain but is there a chance I could see them again sometime soon?”

James had done some more explaining- like why Mayfield thought he was dead and why he had to use glamours when they went to St. Mungo’s, even why he and Lily had to live in Paris now, but he hadn’t expected Regulus to ask to go back and see any of his old friends just yet and he wasn’t sure what to do.

He had been selfish not to tell Evan about Regulus before and he wondered if he should tell him now, explain all the questions he’d been asking and why he was suddenly looking into Regulus’ death.

Mayfield mentioned that, because they were both in hiding, it might be good for him to go back and look at some old pictures and momentos but if actually seeing them could help jog Regulus’ memories, then he was obligated to do it right?

“You know what’s so funny? Last night, I had a dream, or maybe it was a memory, who really knows anymore- of us in our dorm room and Barty was piercing my ear . He just stuck a needle in and it hurt so bad . It looked kind of cool after actually but then we went to class and Sirius was there and he threw an orange at my head and it hit my ear, gushing blood everywhere,” he chuckled to himself, “It’s mad really.”

James put his book aside, “So that actually was a memory but not to worry, he got in trouble for it.”

Regulus hmphed and James continued, “And I think I can take you to see Pandora for now…something tells me she’ll be the most amenable.”

“What makes you say that?”

James thought back to Pandora and how for all her quirks and oddities, she was also one of the most open-minded and kindhearted people he knew. She also had an understanding of magic that truly went far deeper than anyone else’s, an intelligence that was too often overlooked, and he felt like she would be one of the few people who was truly close to Regulus that could handle seeing him again without simultaneously having a breakdown…maybe.

He just smiled and went back to his book, wondering how he’d be able to get in contact with her.

____________

“James, I’m really not sure about this,” Lily frowned over her pan where she was currently frying some onions and garlic, the smell already making him want to drool all over himself though apparently it was only cute when Harry did it, not him.

“I know but it might really help him. I mean, think about it, he’s been thrown into this brand new life and the only connection he has to it is me - no friends, no family- he needs some new connections to help him progress,” he explained. 

Lily tilted her head side to side, throwing the idea around, until she relented, “I’ll agree to it only because I know Pandora- we can trust her entirely. She went completely off the grid as well, kind of like us, so there’s hardly any risk.”

“Do you know where she went?” 

She turned to look at him, leaning back against the counter, “Well, there’s only one place she would go- Xeno’s .”

“Mary, are you sure this is a good—” James’s worried voice faltered as he clung to the nearest solid surface, his grip tightening while Mary shifted gears with reckless confidence.

His words were ripped away by the roaring wind as she slammed her foot on the gas, sending the car hurtling down the road. Dirt sprayed up behind them, their hair whipped wildly in every direction, and the world blurred around them. Lily and Marlene shouted in delight from the backseat, throwing their arms up as Mary cranked the music louder but James couldn’t relax in the face of imminent death.

Their surroundings were a blur of green and blue and when he realised he was still alive a couple of minutes later, he started to enjoy himself a bit, shutting his eyes and tilting his head up as the sun warmed his face.

They arrived at Xeno’s a little while later and as they walked up, they saw that their Slytherin counterparts had already made it, lingering about out front.

Dorcas, who was normally stone-faced, broke out into a smile when Marlene hopped out of the car, not even bothering to open the door, and ran to her, hugging her so tight she was lifted off the ground. Pandora ran out to Lily and Mary and he tarried by the car as Sirius and Remus had yet to arrive, instead choosing to come on Sirius’ motorbike which Remus insisted he drive slow on. Peter, as always, had to work so he wouldn’t be joining them. He waited and waited for Regulus to come out of the house but he hadn’t shown and instead, Barty and Evan came over to put him out of his misery.

“You know, when someone invites you to something, it’s more of a courtesy—you’re not actually meant to show up,” Barty teased, a sly grin tugging at his lips. Evan elbowed him sharply in the ribs, earning an exaggerated wince.

“Is Regulus here?” he asked, ignoring the gripe.

“You could at least pretend you’re here to see anyone else,” Evan quipped and Barty gave him a betrayed look.

He relented, focusing on them, “Sorry it’s just- he hasn’t been returning my letters, I’m a bit worried is all. I thought he’d be here today.”

“You only started dating a couple of months ago and you’re this attached already?” 

“Er- it’s been about a year and a half now…”

Barty looked affronted as his jaw dropped, “That lying weasel,” he stomped off to presumably tell the others though they already knew, James supposed Regulus just wanted to mess with him when he said that.

Evan placed a steadying hand on his shoulder, “He doesn’t usually reply to letters over the holiday, sometimes his mother just burns them on the doorstep so you shouldn’t worry too much. He’s allowed to reply to me and he says he’s okay, or as okay as he can be really.”

James sighed and as the day drew on he tried to join in everyone’s merriment but it was hard when thoughts of what could be happening to Regulus tormented him.

When he finally tired of pretending to enjoy the games they were playing and swimming around, he trudged up to shore to lean against a tall tree that scattered the sunlight through the leaves above him and shut his eyes, focusing on his breathing. He shoved his hands into the sand to ground himself and lost himself in that feeling of detachment until he heard footsteps beside him and looked up to see Remus.

“Tired already?” James asked.

Remus just made a face and gestured to his hip that tended to end his fun before he could even start it. James helped him as he sat beside him, resting.

“You can’t do this forever y’know,” Remus started, his amber eyes startling him into reality.

“Do what?”

“Shoulder his burden…worry about him, miss out on things because all you can think about is him,” he explained, trailing on as he reached up to push James’ hair back from his forehead.

“I’m not missing out on anything- I’m here aren’t I?” he said, already feeling defensive as he always did whenever the topic of Regulus was brought up. He was so fiercely protective of him that his hackles always rose whenever he came up in conversation, even when it was by his own friends.

“Yes but are you here ?” he gestured to everyone still in the lake. “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but I hate to see you like this- weighed down by his issues.

“You don’t get it Remus- what he goes through in that house- how they treat him-.”

“Is the exact same way they treated Sirius,” he finished for him. “But despite everything that happened over the holidays, he still came back to us didn’t he? Regulus is stronger than you might give him credit for, he can handle this, and when he comes back, I imagine he wants the real you, not someone who's constantly worried and fussing over him.”

“Stop reading those muggle psychology books- you’re getting a little too good at this,” he frowned and Remus laughed.

Some time later, when Xeno brought out food for everyone, a loud crack rendered the air, echoing over the field. They all gave pause, wondering where it came from as there was no one around for kilometres until a few moments later, a figure appeared on the path.

James recognized him instantly. His heart soared, and before he could even think, his feet carried him forward. He scrambled, nearly tripping in his haste, and reached Regulus, nearly crashing into him as he swept him up in a tight embrace.

He kissed him and once he pulled back all Regulus said was a cheeky,

“Sorry, am I late?”

Lily seemed to be remembering the same thing as him as a little grin graced her face as well and she turned back to begin chopping some vegetables.

“I was wondering if you would come with us as well?”

Lily stilled, “What?”

“She’s your friend as much as she is ours and I know you miss her,” he explained.

“But you and Regulus are going.”

“And?”

“Well I just assumed this was sort of your thing,” she shrugged.

James felt bad for the way he had been unequally splitting his time between Regulus and Lily because for all his joy at having Regulus back, he needed to remember that Lily was still alone and it wasn’t fair to always be out and about because while she still had her muggle friends, they would never know what it is to truly understand her.

“That doesn’t mean it can’t be yours, it’s not like you’d just be tagging along- I know Pandora would be over the moon to see you and Harry too.”

She thought about it and James wasn’t sure where her hesitation stemmed from but still, she seemed to make a deal with herself and said, “Alright then.”

And that was their plan set.

____________

Regulus had fussed with his robes and hair for a good thirty minutes before James had to force him out of his bathroom.

“I just…want to make a good impression,” he huffed, tugging on his cuffs once again.

James had given him a pair of his own robes that he had never even worn to give Regulus a sense of the sort of fashion present in the wizarding world and Regulus suited them perfectly, as he always did. After a few alteration charms the navy blue of the robes complimented his eyes and skin, his trousers hugging his long legs while the robes caught the gentle breeze of his movements.

“The good thing about reincarnating is that no one will really care what you look like so long as you're breathing,” he joked before pulling Regulus’ hand in his, “But you look beautiful.”

The corner of his lip curled upwards, “Thank you. I can’t tell if I’m more nervous or excited.” James could feel his hand trembling slightly as anxious energy buzzed about him.

“It’s okay to be both,” he assured him before heading back to the sitting room to join Harry and Lily again, both of whom were also nervous and excited. James felt himself getting a bit worked up just by being around them.

“Aw you look great,” Lily grinned at Regulus who thanked her, complimenting her on her dress as well.

“Yes, yes we’re all stunners, now let’s go,” James laughed, scooping Harry up in his arms and heading out the front door. They slipped into the alleyway and clung onto him as he spun on his heel and took them all to Ottery St. Catchpole.

They landed soundly on a dusty path just outside of a large field. It smelled earthy and fresh like the soil had just been freshly tilled and tall grass swayed about, catching the golden light of the sun above them. It was idyllic and homely and exactly the sort of place Pandora and Xeno would live together.

Their house looked like a chess’ rook as it was hewn from black stone and stood out like a sore thumb from its surroundings. As they approached, there was a small winding footpath made of stomped over grass and little rocks and flowers bordered it, guiding them closer.

James knocked on the door, hoping they were home, and there was silence until he heard a voice above them,

“Up here!” 

James shielded his eyes from the sun as he saw Xenophilius up on the roof. His blonde hair reflected the sun brightly, making him look angelic, and he smiled until his face dropped and he began shouting while jumping up and down, “Holy nargle in my pants, Dora look!” A second head popped over the edge to peer down at them.

Pandora froze entirely, Xeno even pausing his shrieks to look at her, shaking her shoulder a bit to take her out of her stupor.

Then she disappeared and less than a second later, their front door creaked open.

She looked just as she had back at school, young and fresh-faced, natural and inviting as her hair flowed down her back in loose curls, matching her frilly top that was obscured by a pair of dungarees that were more patches and pins than denim. 

“Is that really you Reg?” she whispered, her eyes instantly latching onto him as tears started brimming her eyes.

James was a bit surprised as he turned to Regulus to see tears in his eyes as well, his chin trembling as he nodded.

She leaped forward, enveloping him in her arms, nearly sending them both crashing down. It wasn't pretty or gentle by any means as they both sobbed, chest heaving against one another as they tried to get impossibly closer. 

Pandora’s hands held him close but Regulus showed no signs of letting go as he tightened his arms against her. Xeno appeared in the doorway then and started laughing as he pulled James into a normal hug as though they were simply catching up.

Over his shoulder, James saw a little girl with Xeno’s eyes and Pandora’s hair, standing in the doorway, clutching a paintbrush in her small fist. She had paint smeared across her face and Xeno followed his eyes and said, “You caught us in the middle of art class.”

Pandora then jumped from Regulus to Lily, continuing to cry as Lily started tearing up as well. They were exchanging rushed one-liners like ‘I missed you’ and ‘I can’t believe it,’ neither of them able to even respond to one another as shock overtook their usual motor functions.

He only had a moment to put Harry down before a pair of arms wrapped around him like an iron clamp and he turned in Pandora’s arms to face her. Her sky blue eyes, so pale they were a bit frightening in the light, bore into his, “Oh James. I never thought- I mean I knew you were alive but there was just- oh gods,” she shook her head.

“Mummy!” her daughter, Luna, called impatiently, “Why you crying?” she questioned out from the doorway, her small face scrunched in concern.

“These are happy tears, lovey,” she said, grabbing their hands and dragging them inside to her eccentric living room. He could tell Lily was resisting the urge to organize everything as things were strewn about all over the place with ornate rugs and fancy tapestries and knick knacks and gadgets everywhere but there was a sense of coziness that had James wanting to wrap up in a blanket on the sofa and let the day pass him by.

“I told you Xeno! I told you over and over that they were alive! ” she boasted as she went right over to the kitchen, setting water to boil and pulling out tea bags, “I knew you were both okay but when you hadn’t shown up after a year, then another, well I suppose it’s reasonable no one believed me… they hardly did anyways.”

She was brimming with energy, her words flowing in an animated rush, and James couldn’t help but marvel at how receptive Regulus was. It was clear he’d recognized Pandora instantly, which explained the ease in her familiar tone.

Still, as the conversation carried on, James began to notice a flicker of confusion cross Regulus’ face. This time, though, it wasn’t the melancholic helplessness he often displayed when confronted with something he “should” know—like a mention of a specific Hogwarts class or a reference to their shared past. Instead, there was a spark of curiosity in his expression, as if he were reaching for something just out of grasp, rather than retreating from it.

Lily on the other hand looked revitalized, bright and lighter than he’d seen her in ages. It was as if simply being around other wizards had woken up her own magic. She went over to the mantel, eyeing the photos framed there, her gaze lingering on a certain few.

He started wishing they came here sooner.

“Xeno, could you bring my journal please? The purple one?” she asked and he left in search of it as she brought over five mismatched and chipped tea cups. She already arranged who should take which cup and it seemed he was assigned the pink one with speckled green toads all over it.

She eagerly sat across from them as though she couldn’t get enough of them, also a bit like she was unsure whether they were actually here or not. Like this might all just be another vision of hers and she’d wake up alone once more.

Harry nervously went up to Luna, playing with his own fingers and adjusting his glasses as he slowly stepped up to the coffee table next to her and they all just froze as they watched, as if watching animals in the wild.

Harry didn’t have much interaction with other children and while confident and boisterous around them, he still shied much from people he wasn’t familiar with when out in public. Luna, however, was much more welcoming than Harry, going over to grasp his hand and pull him the rest of the way over to her new painting station, eagerly showing him what she had been working on.

Xeno returned with Pandora’s journal and James wasn’t sure what to do next- where to go from here.

“Xeno do you mind if we see some copies of The Quibbler, I haven’t seen or heard of news from the Wizarding World in years, and I think Regulus might like to see some copies too,” Lily said, standing and eyeing him expectantly. 

He nodded and jerked his head, “Of course, our press is in the basement.”

“Wait I-,” Pandora started but Lily raised a subtle hand behind Regulus’ back and looked to James.

Once they were alone, Pandora turned to him, “What is it? Something’s wrong here.”

He took a deep sigh and explained everything that happened from Peter’s betrayal to living in the muggle world to finding Regulus without his memories. He talked about what he knew so far and everything he didn’t know. He poured out of all his emotions and memories and research, leaving it all at Pandora’s feet and hoping she could somehow make sense of this mess.

“He drowned,” she gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth.

“What?”

She hastily opened her journal, flipped through the pages until she landed somewhere about halfway through, and started reading out loud, her voice shaking,

“January 1978. It was a field of blue, water where there should be grass, monsters where there should be sea creatures. The ground was unstable, each step making you go deeper and deeper until you’ve been pulled under the soil, left to float weightlessly in the abyss. Regulus is here with me, he’s screaming. Why is he screaming? I try to pull him back to the surface with me but he resists me. I scream for him and yet I receive no response, as if I am not even there- perhaps I’m not. I watch as ice-cold water files into his open mouth and suddenly, beneath us, the abyss begins to roil with movement. Regulus sinks deeper than I until I cannot see him anymore. Water begins to fill my lungs as I try to go after him but I can’t. Once he’s gone from view, the water stills, whatever beast beneath satiated by Regulus’ entrapment. I wake up, gasping for air .”

A chill broke out over his skin despite the warmness of the day, his hair standing on end as icy fingers trailed down his spine. He felt like he had just opened Pandora’s box instead of her journal and wished he could shut it back up.

“But he’s here, he’s fine ,” he said, feeling a bit manic. Her words were, frankly, terrifying and he felt on edge.

“Yes but like you said, you don’t know what happened, he could have drowned,” she countered as though her written word were fact.

“Yes but you’re saying he died .”

“What’s to say he didn’t?” She sighed, closing her ‘vision journal’ and setting it aside, dropping her head into her hands, “I’m sorry this is just- a lot - right now. You don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve seen a familiar face and now I’ve just gone off and scared you.”

They both realised what she said at the same time and began reluctantly chuckling. James honestly felt a bit of comfort from that admission- to know that he wasn’t the only one left out of the loop of things.

“Do Barty or Evan even know where you are? Your brothers?” he asked curiously, chasing away the cold words of her vision- it was in the past now and it should stay there .

She bit her lip and grabbed her wand to summon something. A bright green box came flying from some room in the back and James was glad he was sitting one cushion over from its apparent flight path.

She set it next to her and lifted the lid to reveal news clippings, photographs, and letters. “I’ve kept in relative contact with Evan, not as much as we used to but enough to know he’s still…alive.” Then he saw her breath begin to shudder and he moved to sit next to her, “I don’t um…talk to Barty anymore.”

“Why?” he asked, astonished.

“After Regulus and Dorcas died he just,” she shook her head, unable to get the words out and she took in two deep breaths before continuing, “I know he doesn’t believe in the dark Lord’s mission but he does believe in wreaking havoc, participating in his missions willingly, going along with whatever because he doesn’t see a purpose anymore- why he should stand or fight for anything when everyone else dies anyways. I couldn’t handle being around that anymore, especially not now with Luna with me.

“And my brothers, well they never cared for me so I’m just giving them what they want by staying away.”

“Well you’ll always have us around yeah?” he asked and she smiled holding his hand in both of her own. He didn’t have anything else to say about Barty and Evan because their hopelessness mirrored his before finding Regulus, only they manifested differently.

They both ended up trailing down to where they printed editions of the Quibbler and he watched in fascination as Xeno showed him all the work that went into making one complete newspaper. It was arduous and labour-intensive but he had a smile on his face the entire time, his genuine love for the paper shining through in his care.

They all began chatting about different articles when some shouting upstairs caught their attention and they all raced back up to Harry and Luna.

Harry currently had red paint all over the lenses of his glasses and Luna’s hair was streaked through with blue and orange but that wasn’t even the worst of it because upon closer inspection, they realised her hair wasn’t painted but was actually blue and orange.

She had just shown her first sign of magic and they all began cheering as she just laughed happily, not even realizing that all of the celebration was because of her. Xeno jumped over, lifting her up in the air above them, “My girl’s a witch!”

Moments like this, of joy so pure and communal, reminded James that everything would be okay and while he may not be surrounded by all of his friends, looking up and seeing Lily next to Regulus next to his best friend let him know that things were turning up and that one day, life may actually recalibrate himself.

That one day he might just be able to go home .