you should leave
It all came to a head on the following Thursday morning, about three hours into his shift.
He, Marc, and Regulus were all in, which was good because the cafe was rather busy today with uni students camping out at tables, important looking people barking at their mobiles before ordering a large black coffee, and groups of elderly women just looking for some place to sit and chat. They were running drinks and pastries to tables like they were on a pinwheel and with the constant influx of customers, James was forced to stock and restock to keep up.
At one point, James went into the back to start washing up plates and cups so that they constantly had enough, methodically hand washing each piece of dishware before drying them, taking great care to not chip or drop anything. He didn’t know how long it had been but the sound of glass shattering caught his attention and he quickly wiped his hands and made his way back to the front counter.
His world seemed to shudder, his breath catching as he took in the scene: Lily, frozen in shock, eyes locked onto Regulus, who stood behind the counter with his brows drawn tight and arms crossed, looking wary. At their feet, Marc was sweeping up shards of glass with hurried, sweeping motions, as if he could erase the tension lingering in the air between them.
“Lily,” James managed, his voice barely above a whisper as he moved to her side. In the pram beside her, Harry babbled with his chubby fists reaching upward, but James couldn’t spare a glance; his focus was instead on the storm gathering in Lily’s eyes.
“James?” she asked, her tone low, heavy with a confusion that felt almost like an accusation. Her green eyes burned, searching him as if she could pull answers from his silence.
He gently grasped her elbow and leaned in, “We need to talk.”
“You think?” she frowned, her voice laced with a tense edge, gripping his arm firmly as she steered him to a table in the room’s farthest corner.
He sent a look to Marc and Regulus like everything was fine and they both eyed him warily but didn’t say anything further as they continued working while he walked to his doom. He would rather a meteoroid hit the cafe than be forced to come clean about this.
He hadn’t considered what it might be like telling Lily about this, especially not when he hadn’t even discovered what had happened himself with Regulus. It would be the blind leading the blind here.
Lily ran a hand through her fiery hair as she sat down, her gaze distant, as if already picking through a dozen explanations for what she’d just witnessed. She absently handed a toy to Harry, her focus clearly elsewhere, using him as a buffer to buy herself time to gather her thoughts.
“So,” James exhaled, forcing a steady tone. “As you can see, we’ve got a bit of a situation.” He tried to stay calm, but the weight of Lily’s stare, paired with his own churn of confusion and guilt, made it difficult to keep his voice even.
“Please tell me that I just need glasses,” she pleaded.
“You don’t,” he cringed as he braced his sweaty palms on the table.
“I thought I’d surprise you,” she continued, as though speaking aloud might help her piece it together. “I placed my order, Marc said you were in the back, and then—just for a second—I looked away. And then he was there. Handing me my drink, like it was the most natural thing in the world. I couldn’t believe it.” She paused, her voice dropping almost to a whisper. “I mean... is that actually him? Regulus ?”
James swallowed hard, the name landing heavily between them. He’d never heard her say it aloud before, and now that she had, the dam inside him threatened to burst. Clenching a fist to his mouth, he glanced at Harry, who had already drifted off to sleep in his pram. Taking a deep breath, James held onto the silence, waiting for his own heart to steady.
He nodded, “I walked in one day and he was just there . I mean, he owns this cafe, it’s mad.”
At that moment, Marc came over with a fresh drink, smiling at Lily and giving James an ambiguous look with a raised brow. Her face momentarily brighted as she thanked him but it hardened once he left as her eyes reconnected with his.
“Then why is he standing there like that? I mean you just…”
And so he explained.
He talked about the first time they met and the subsequent breakdown he had, the fact that Regulus didn’t know who he was or what his own past was like, and how he couldn’t even access his own memories.
The entire time Lily nodded, listening intently, asking for further explanation over any part she didn’t understand and then it was time to explain the worst part of all this.
“And so I went to St. Mungo’s to ask for help from Healer Mayfield.”
James watched the change in Lily’s expression, understanding flickering into confusion before hardening into betrayal. Her hand gripped the pram handle tightly, her knuckles white as her face paled, freckles standing out like sharp pin pricks against her skin.
“You what?” she hissed, barely containing her anger. Her voice was low, but the way it trembled with restraint unnerved him even more.
“I needed to get help, to find some way to explain-,” he blathered, trying to come up with some sort of justification for his actions when there wasn’t any really.
“So instead of coming to me, you decided to put us all at risk ? Are you mad ?” She shot him a look of pure disbelief. “Did you even think about us before you went marching right into the heart of it?” Her voice stayed low, but the contained fury in her tone cut deeper than if she’d shouted.
“Lily, it was okay-.”
“No James, this is not okay . I know you’ve never faced the consequences of practically anything in your life but you can’t possibly think that that’s okay? How could you put us at risk for- for-,” she stuttered but James knew what she wanted to say.
His voice cracked as he whispered, “But it’s Regulus.”
“And we’re your family,” she replied softly, sadness mingling with hurt.
“Lils, I thought he was dead . He’s still alive and here and you truly can’t blame me for this, for wanting to find out more,” he pleaded.
“You think I don’t want to see Mary everyday? To go back to her and work things out? Obviously I do but I knew I had to keep us safe. I knew I had to do what was right ,” she broke out, her jaw working as she clenched her teeth.
“But nothing happened.” James’s voice sounded distant, fraying under the weight of his own words. Dark spots danced across his vision, and he could feel himself sinking, like an animal backed into a corner, bracing to defend itself. He knew Lily was right, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that what he did had been worth the risk—could it have been selfishness, or was it something deeper?
Lily’s expression softened briefly, but her tone remained firm. She rose from her chair. “Maybe nothing happened this time, but what if it had? How would you live with yourself if we’d lost everything for this?” Her voice wavered, but her gaze didn’t. “One person sees you, one person recognizes you, and suddenly it’s not just you on the line, James. It’s Harry, me— all of us .
He felt his heart sink, a chill settling over him as she continued.
“We may have escaped death once, but I don’t think our luck would hold a second time.”
With that, she left, leaving her drink untouched on the table and her chair abandoned. James watched them go, a hollow ache filling the space where she had been, her words echoing in his mind long after she was gone.
He forgot he was on the clock until Regulus came over and he was about to stand up but Regulus stopped him with a hand on his shoulder as he circled the table and took a seat, “Take a minute,” he said. “That looked a bit…tense.”
James shook his head, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise she was going to stay- I mean I didn’t know she was coming either but…”
Regulus watched him for a moment, then began to fiddle with his fingers on the table, his brows knitting in uncertainty. He started to say something, hesitated, then took a steadying breath. “I just hope,” he began carefully, “that I wasn’t the reason. I mean… the problem.”
James blinked, his mind sluggishly catching up. Regulus’s gaze had dropped, and when the silence lingered, he pressed on.
“I imagine she’s heard about… us.” Regulus’s voice was quiet, almost tentative. “And I don’t know how things stand between you two, but if it’s a problem, then maybe I—”
“It’s not about that,” James hurried. “She was just a bit upset that I accidentally did something without telling her. We’re very close you see, so when she found out, she was a bit caught off guard. It has nothing to do with you.”
A bit of tension slipped from Regulus’s expression. “Alright,” he murmured, relieved. “It’s just… she dropped her mug when I handed it to her, and I thought maybe it was me. Kind of like, well… when you ran away.” He chuckled awkwardly, glancing up at James with a small, self-conscious smile.
James only shook his head, “No, her hand must’ve just slipped.” He met Regulus’s eyes, sincerity woven through his voice. “And I do hope you give me a chance to make up for that, because I still get embarrassed every time I think about it,” he replied honestly. He truly would never live that down.
“You could make it up to me tomorrow night,” he suggested blithely, his fingertips dancing on the table in some silent melody.
If only James could jump over the table and take him into his arms he would but he settled for a, “That sounds wonderful.”
____________
James arrived home a few hours later, tail firmly between his legs, clutching a bouquet of pink lilies and Lily’s favourite takeaway lunch as a peace offering.
He found the kitchen empty and set to work, arranging the lilies in a vase and plating the croissant sandwich, stacked high with her favourite fillings, with a side of chips. He poured her a glass of grenadine, carefully setting it next to the meal, then flicked on the radio, tuning it to a mellow station to really set the scene.
Finally, he called out to her and she appeared a moment later, a frown already on her face and while it momentarily lessened when she saw what he had done, it remained glaringly obvious that she was still upset.
Begrudgingly, she sat down at the table, her emerald gaze flitting between him and the food and she took a bite, feigning indifference, but a hint of a smile betrayed her and he took a seat across from her.
“I’m sorry, Lily. That’s… that’s the first thing I should’ve said.” He let out a breath, his tone earnest. “I get it—I understand how I put us at risk. I just… I lost my head a bit.”
Lily’s eyes stayed on her plate, her fingers idly tracing the placemat. “You always did when it came to Regulus,” she replied, a hint of resignation in her voice. “Honestly, I should’ve seen this coming.”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged, glancing away. “The two of you were inseparable. It never made sense to me that he could be gone and you’d still be here. Somehow, it feels like he was always going to find his way back, even if he isn’t… whole.”
He didn’t know what to say, “I hadn’t expected it at all. I mean I had to get over him quickly and-.”
Lily looked up, her gaze steady, filled with knowing sadness. “James, you never got over him. You never even let yourself properly grieve.”
“I did grieve,” he protested, brows furrowing. She made it sound like he’d moved on overnight, as if he’d barely felt the loss.
“You would cry every night and wake up every morning like it was okay and then never speak about it. You didn’t even go to his funeral,” she countered.
“We weren’t allowed to-.”
“That’s never stopped you before,” she tutted all too right. “But I understand how seeing Regulus again might make you lose your head, even after all this time. I just don’t like that you kept it from me, but I do understand.”
James felt a weight lift from his chest, a tentative relief settling between them. Lily took another bite, her eyes downcast as the music played softly in the background.
After a moment, she spoke, almost too quietly. “I suppose I was… a bit hurt too.”
“Why?”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, pulling one leg up onto the chair in that familiar way she had when she was pensive. “It’s just… I never got the chance to make things right with Mary. And she’s still out there, somewhere. We lost Marlene, Dorcas… so many others.” Her voice wavered. “It just doesn’t feel fair, y’know? You get Regulus back, you have all these new friends, and here I am—floundering, still trying to piece together a life that doesn’t quite fit.”
Her voice broke, and before he realised he’d moved, he was already at her side, wrapping his arms around her as the first tear slipped down her cheek. She leaned into him, her body trembling, the weight of all the losses spilling over in quiet, gasping sobs. He held her, his hand gently rubbing circles on her back until her breathing slowed.
When she finally pulled back, wiping her eyes, she whispered, “I’m not mad at you, James. I’m just… mad at everything that’s happened.”
“I know,” he nodded, brushing his thumbs under her eyes. “I didn’t want it to happen like this either. I mean, he genuinely doesn’t remember anything about me. He doesn’t know about magic either, he thinks he’s grown up in London his whole life before suddenly moving to Paris with some trust fund money.”
Lily had already switched into another gear as he brought up this information and she was chewing aggressively on her chips as she considered the problem, “Does he remember Sirius?”
“I don’t think so,” he said and that was devastating in itself. Sirius was…everything to Regulus. Their relationship had gone through a lot from being so incredibly close when they were young, only having each other to lean on in Grimmauld, to being distant as their years in Hogwarts stretched on, their issues stemming from more than just house issues, to a distant barely-there bond when he had graduated. Regulus was raised and made by Sirius, it seemed impossible that he simply didn’t remember him anymore.
“Well what did Mayfield say?’
He explained and she looked even more lost, “So basically he might’ve been cursed? That’s what she’s going with?”
“She didn’t have much to go off initially anyways and based on everything else, I feel like that’s the only possible explanation.”
She nodded, “Okay then.”
“Okay,” he echoed, not sure where to go from here.
“Well it’s obvious right? You have to tell him,” she said.
“But- I mean- how do you even tell someone something like that.”
She raised an eyebrow. “What, you thought you could just go on like this? James, he’s clearly hurting. He needs the truth, and you’re the only one who can give it to him.”
“I’ve only gone on one date with him-.”
Her eyes bulged, “You went out with him already?”
He nodded, his face warming with embarrassment. She gave an exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes, but she softened quickly, giving his hand a squeeze. “Of course you did. But, James, the longer you wait, the worse it’s going to get. You can’t go on lying to him like this.”
He took a shaky breath, feeling a knot tighten in his stomach. “I’m seeing him tomorrow night.”
She held his hand, “Then you’ll have to tell him then.”
A wave of dread washed over him.
Everything in him recoiled at the thought—he wanted to keep going like this, ignoring the complications, pretending he could somehow hold on to this version of Regulus without risking everything. The thought of losing him, of having him walk away and call him mad… it terrified him. He’d lose Regulus all over again, just as fast as he’d gotten him back.
But Lily was right. This wasn’t really a life, not the way it should be.
He closed his eyes, gathering the courage to face the truth. He had to believe in their bond, had to trust that some part of the Regulus he’d loved was still there, buried deep, waiting to be found. And maybe… maybe this time, he wouldn’t lose him.
____________
He was going to shit his pants. Truly.
Their date had gone well just like their last one and Regulus was right about the Chinese restaurant- the food was phenomenal. They had gotten far too much food for the two of them: lo mein, ginger beef, scallion pancakes, and Szechuan chicken but now James was feeling the weight of the food in his stomach like a brick of iron.
They were walking, hand in hand, along the pavement towards an ice cream shop and James had to resist the urge to let go to wipe the sweat that Regulus could surely feel off of his palms.
Once they ordered and sat down at a table, Regulus leaned back in his seat and gestured to him with his bright pink spoon, “What’s going on here?”
James looked up, trying to cover his nerves with another spoonful of cookies n’ cream. “What do you mean?”
“I just mean that since we left the restaurant, you’ve seemed like you had something on your mind. Is everything okay?”
Was he really that obvious?
“Yeah, it’s… it’s fine,” James stammered, setting down his spoon. He took a deep breath. “It’s just… I feel like we should talk.”
That probably wasn’t the right thing to say because Regulus’ face dropped as he sat forward, “If you’re trying to say we’re better off as friends then-.”
“No,” James blurted, before quieting, “No it’s not that. I just have…a secret.”
Regulus looked at him with raised brows, confused but still calm as he scooped more ice cream. He always ate with the spoon upside down, and tonight was no exception, and he ended up leaving a smear of cherry syrup on the corner of his lip.
“You have some,” James pointed and when Regulus kept missing it, James leaned over and wiped it with his thumb before proceeding to taste it himself, the taste sweet and a bit tart.
Regulus’ eyes went wide and all suspicion for whatever his secret was disappeared after that.
It was only when they were back at Regulus’ flat did he finally bring it up again as he was, literally and figuratively, on the edge of his seat.
“Do you believe in magic?” James asked.
Regulus, who may have been a bit loosened by the wine at dinner, laughed up at him, “Look, I said I liked The Hobbitone time and you’ve just latched on.”
“No, I mean real magic as in wands and spells and wizards,” he explained, knowing muggles had their own perceptions of what magic was. It was odd having to explain it so simply to Regulus, who was technically a pureblood, and he was starting to imagine what it must be like for muggle borns and their parents who suddenly had magic and had to learn about a whole world they previously had no idea about.
He shrugged, “I mean, I know magicians are skilled illusionists.”
James, in a moment of truth, pulled his wand out from his boot and held it before him: 11 inches, mahogany, pliable. From the moment Ollivander handed it to him and he’d felt the hum of magic sing his arm, he knew this was the only wand for him.
And for all his love for it, Regulus just stared blankly at it, “That’s been in your boot this whole time?”
“It’s more than just a boot accessory,” James breathed, “This is my wand. I mean to tell you that magic is real Regulus- this is my secret.”
He looked up at him with a small smile on his face, his eyes wide and endearing, “You are so cute y’know that?”
“ Lumos ” he breathed and the end of his wand lit up and Regulus’ face waned a bit as his eyes piqued with interest. “ Nox ” he said and the light vanished.
“A trick,” Regulus breathed but James could see it in his eyes, in the set of his brows and the curl of his lips- he knew it wasn’t just a trick.
He searched for something more to do. He pointed at a nearby plant and whispered, “ Orchideous. ” Instantly, a bouquet of flowers burst from the tip, filling the room with their soft fragrance.
Regulus’s mouth dropped open, his eyes darting between James and the flowers in stunned silence.
“That’s impossible.”
“It’s possible, ask me to do anything right now and I can, within reason,” he clarified. He wanted Regulus to lead this experience, to see for himself that magic was real and anything was possible and it wasn’t just a load of parlour tricks.
“Can you er- make this glass float?” he asked, gesturing to the one on the table.
James hardly needed his wand for something so simple, but he used it anyway, keeping the magic straightforward. With a small wave, he lifted the glass, guiding it gently through the air until it hovered over his open hand.
Regulus’s eyes widened, eyes flickering between the glass and James. “How did... What?” He stumbled over the words, his gaze turning pleading as it landed on James’, somehow anchoring him. He took a breath and steadied himself, “Can I?”
James handed over his wand without a second thought—something most wizards would hesitate to do. Wands were profoundly personal, an extension of a wizard’s very essence, and yet, for James, offering it to Regulus felt as natural as breathing. What was a wand, after all, compared to everything else he wanted to give him?
Gently, James placed it in his hand. “Try ‘Lumos.’”
Regulus’ brow furrowed as he repeated the word, but only a faint flicker appeared before vanishing.
With a dry chuckle, he shook his head. “Well, that didn’t work. You were… born a wizard, then?”
“Yes,” James replied. “Magic is usually inherited, like in my family. But sometimes, people with no magical heritage—what we call Muggles—are born with magic. It’s rare, unpredictable.”
Regulus’s expression softened, shadowed with uncertainty. “So… I’m a Muggle, then?”
James hesitated, feeling the weight of his next words. “Not quite.”
His eyes narrowed, “What do you mean by that?”
“You’re actually a wizard. You were born one I mean.”
Regulus clearly couldn’t compute what he was saying as he shakily took a sip of water from the glass he had just levitated over, “Sorry it just sounded like you said I was a wizard and I’m starting to think I just had too much wine.”
“That is what I said.”
They were both quiet for a minute, James waiting as Regulus just stared at him. He couldn’t sit and wait so he stood, walking over to the windows to peer outside, to count the lights that winked out in the distance as the night drew on.
“I don’t understand,” Regulus finally said, breaking the stillness.
James turned back to him, shifting his approach. “Remember how you told me your memories felt... fragmented?”
Regulus nodded, a slight crease forming between his brows. “Yeah?”
James took a steadying breath. “Well... I knew you back then. Back in school. I’ve known you for years, actually,” he admitted, the words heavy with the weight of withheld truth finally coming to light.
Regulus stood up then, “What do you mean?” He repeated for the umpteenth time but it was a night full of revelations after all, it was only right that he kept asking questions. James’ only hope was that he hadn’t immediately dismissed him.
“When I came to Paris, you were the last person I expected to see. To be honest, I thought you were well…um…dead. Then I saw you at the cafe and it’s why I ran out when I saw you- I just didn’t expect to see you. Then we spoke and you had no memory of who I was so I went along with it and-.”
“Why did you think I was dead? And why didn’t you say anything? Is this some kind of joke?” he asked and he was getting angry now, James could see his cheeks turn ruddy as his eyes sparked in the dim lighting.
“ No, it’s not a joke. And that’s a long story but if you just let me explain, then it’ll make a lot more sense,” he begged, taking a step forward but Regulus took one back and it was answer enough.
“The whole pretend magic thing I can handle, but the lying? That, I can’t.” Regulus ran a hand through his hair, frustration etched into every line of his face. “I can’t make sense of it. How can you just presume to know me better than I know myself?”
“You went to Hogwarts,” James said quickly, the truth spilling out in a rush. “It’s a school for wizards in Scotland. You were in the year below me.” He knew he sounded desperate, and Regulus could sense it.
“Do you even realise how mad you sound?” he questioned.
“I’m not lying , if you just-.”
“I think you should leave James,” he said and despite his tone, it looked like it pained him to say that.
It hurt James enough just to hear it, and already he was wishing he’d handled this differently. But how could he have possibly explained magic to someone with no memory of it—or worse, tried to explain their personal history, a past that felt impossibly fragile now that it was all out in the open?
“I’ll go,” he said, voice soft. “But if you ever want to talk about it again—about magic, or about your past—I’m here.” He stepped past Regulus, each footfall feeling like a fracture.
Regulus stood frozen, only tilting his head enough to glance over his shoulder at him. The look on his face, so pained and broken, made James ache to stay. But he couldn’t. Not now.
“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner,” he whispered, forcing himself to the door before he could plead to stay.
As he walked into the chilly night, each step away from Regulus felt heavier, laced with a regret that settled deep in his bones. He half-hoped, half-dreaded hearing Regulus call him back. But the silence held, and he disappeared into the night, feeling as though he’d left something vital behind.
____________
“I don’t understand,” James choked, staring at Regulus, who stood trembling before him, his left arm bared to reveal the Dark Mark etched into his skin, the flesh around it raw and inflamed.
“I was forced, James,” Regulus tried to say, his voice shaking. “I tried—I tried—”
“No,” James said before repeating himself, stronger this time, “ No .”
Regulus looked down, shadows from the fire casting jagged shapes across his face while the flames illuminated his arm like some distorted, grotesque art piece. “I didn’t want you to find out this way. I thought maybe...”
“So you just waited for me to find out? If I hadn’t seen it, how long were you planning to keep it secret from me then?” It’s been two weeks since they got back from their winter holiday and James had woken up to it this morning, laid across his stomach. Regulus must’ve kept it glamoured when they were around and it finally wore off in sleep.
“I don’t know,” he whispered brokenly, the words brutally honest.
As Regulus stepped forward, James recoiled, unable to bear even the sight of the mark, let alone the closeness of the person who wore it. The disconnect was too severe; his mind couldn’t process that his Regulus could bear that mark.
“You lied to me,” James whispered, his voice thin and cracking, a note of desperation he couldn’t hide.
He could see it all collapsing around him. With that mark, their future was erased. Regulus was tied to Voldemort now, not to him. They’d never share the life they’d dreamed of: the freedom to travel, lazy Sunday mornings, evenings spent together without fear. That mark stole every dream they’d ever spoken of.
“Don’t go,” Regulus pleaded, reaching out, but James was already pulling on his clothes.
“I can’t stay,” was all he managed before he stormed out of the Room of Requirement, wiping at the hot tears that blurred his vision. He climbed all the way to Gryffindor Tower, where he collapsed into bed, closing himself off from the world.
At breakfast, his eyes instinctively slid over to the Slytherin table for the first time that morning and he didn’t see Regulus there- he didn’t see Regulus for a few long days after that night.
James held onto that memory, nursing it like a bruise as he went to work every day for the next week. Regulus had disappeared from his life just as he had back then, and it gnawed at him, each day a slow, raw ache. Marc no longer shadowed his shifts, trusting him to handle the café on his own. With no one around, it was easy to sink into routine: making drinks, washing dishes, prepping machines, over and over again.
It was simple.
Everything else, however, was not.
One of those “everything else” things was the sketch he’d taken from Regulus’ trunk—a drawing of the locket. He’d never seen anything quite like it and didn’t understand its significance, but it had ensnared Kreacher enough for him to spend his life trying to ‘destroy’ it. How could a locket hold such power?
That evening, James wrote a short letter to Evan, attaching a rough sketch of the locket, and asked if he’d ever seen anything like it. He left it vague, avoiding any details that might dig up memories of Regulus because he couldn’t be forced to explain everything again just yet.
One evening later, as he watched Lily finger-paint with Harry, he was struck by an idea. “I know it’s technically against the rules,” he began, “but what would you say to a little weekend getaway somewhere?” He was so relieved he could finally speak to Lily more openly about breaking the rules, especially knowing that she felt as stuck as he did.
“I suppose we could, depending on where we go.”
“We could side-along anywhere,” he shrugged, not really caring about the destination, just knowing he needed to get away.
Lily glanced at Harry, amusement twinkling in her eyes. “Shall we let Harry decide?”
James grinned as Harry giggled, wiping a smear of yellow paint onto his nose. “He knows three places: the café, the park, and ‘wherever mummy is.’”
Lily laughed, leaning in to coo at Harry, who clapped his hands in delight. James smiled, watching her. She was an incredible mother—steady, loving, and unfazed by anything thrown her way. They hadn’t planned for Harry, but Lily had embraced every part of life, and he couldn’t imagine a better mother or partner.
“What d’you think about Ponza,” she gasped and her eyes had gone wide as though she could already see it.
“Where’s that?” he asked, sitting down beside Harry, who proudly showed him his masterpiece—a riot of colourful streaks and smudges that covered the table more than his paper but James still gave him an exaggerated “ooh,” promising they’d hang it on the fridge as soon as it dried.
“I saw it on the telly,” she said, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “It’s an island off the coast of Italy—not too far, really, and I’m pretty sure it’s isolated from any wizarding traffic. Most of the magic is concentrated on the mainland, so we’d be safe.”
The spark of excitement on her face was enough to convince him. “Ponza it is,” he grinned, pleased at the idea of a quiet, sunny escape.
“Ponza!” Harry cheered.
____________
“So did you kiss then?” Marc suddenly asked as he passed him a hot dirty chai latte.
“What?”
“Fuck?” Marc asked and an older woman who had been perusing the pastry box had overheard, sending him a withering look before walking away. Marc just rolled his eyes at her retreating form before turning back to him.
“Look, you’re suddenly off for a ‘holiday,’ and Regulus hasn’t been in all week. That timing is suspicious, don’t you think?”
“It’s only suspicious if you read into it,” James replied, a pang hitting him even as he said it. “Maybe I just want a holiday, and maybe Regulus has a life and doesn’t need to be here every day.”
“Tell me I’m mad for thinking there’s something between you two and I’ll drop it, completely,” he said, raising his hands up in surrender.
James hesitated, taking a long sip of his latte to buy time. The warming spices melted on his tongue, but Marc’s smirk lingered, half-hidden by his cup, and James couldn’t deny he’d been caught. He sighed, finally meeting Marc’s expectant gaze.
“Okay you’re not entirely wrong,” he said and hastily added once Marc started grinning, “ But I think it’s only one-sided now and Regulus has been avoiding me. We went out to dinner and I blundered over my words and yeah…it’s not looking good. As for the holiday though, Lily just wanted to go out with Harry somewhere.”
“Lily is stunning, by the way. Both of you deserve medals for putting your genes together—Harry’s going to have half the world swooning when he grows up. Her eyes, your everything else? Magnifique. ” He gave an exaggerated kiss to his fingers.
“Thanks, though I don’t think either of us exactly planned it that way.” James chuckled.
“In any case, whatever you did to Regulus, I’m sure it couldn’t have been bad enough to completely ruin your little situation,” he breathed, picking lint off of his thick sweater.
Marc always did that, picking at things with his perfectly manicured fingers. He was a bit of a perfectionist- a quirk James appreciated because he was always there with a cloth whenever James inevitably spilled syrup or espresso across the bar.
‘So actually I admitted that I knew him before he sort of lost all of his memories and had just been playing along this entire time. Oh and I also broke the statue of secrecy by telling him magic existed but actually, he is a wizard and he just didn’t know that because he was cursed by something or someone.’
“Yeah maybe,” he frowned.
Two hours later, Marc gave James a not-so-gentle nudge in the ribs. “Look alive,” he whispered, nodding toward the entrance. Regulus had just walked in.
Caught off guard, James fumbled his attempt at latte art, sending milky foam splattering across the counter and onto himself, ruining the drink in one go.
“Sorry!” Marc hissed, swooping in to clean up the mess and swiftly remake the drink. “Go on, clean yourself up,” he muttered, shooing James toward the bathroom.
Regulus, watching with an arched brow, glanced from the mess to James and tilted his head. “I’d like to speak with you in my office when you have a minute.”
“I’m good here,” Marc nodded and so James had no choice but to follow right now even though he really didn’t want to- he was nervous . Regulus was intimidating on a good day and James hadn’t had much experience being the object of his genuine ire in years so he didn’t know how to go about this.
Though if Regulus wanted to speak, that was surely a good sign- or at least that’s what he told himself anyway.
He went straight into his office and pulled his wand from his boot, aiming at the hem of his jumper and vanishing the mess that was there. There was really no reason to hide it anymore.
Regulus sat not at his desk, but at the plush chair in the corner so James dragged a chair over from the desk to sit closer to him. Regulus sighed, pursing his lips as he looked at the freshly clean spot on his jumper.
With a quiet sigh, he crossed one leg over the other. “So, I’ve come to the conclusion that magic is real,” he said, dryly, though his lips held a hint of a smile.
James nodded, “Happy to hear it.”
Regulus’s expression softened. “Firstly, I wanted to apologise. I didn’t mean to kick you out like that. It was rude, but… to be honest, I was scared. I didn’t understand why you’d claim to know so much about me—more than I do, even. I was caught off guard and overwhelmed, but I’m ready to listen now.” He tucked a trembling hand into his lap, his gaze steady but cautious.
“It’s okay, truly,” James murmured, leaning forward. “I was worried you wouldn’t want to see me again after that night, especially since you hadn’t been coming by.”
Regulus nodded, his gaze softening. “I needed some time, yes. But I’m back.”
James swallowed, “Well, the thing is, I don’t know how you lost your memories. I went to school with you from the ages of 11 to 17, I graduated a year before you so after that point, we lost contact. Like I said, I thought you were ‘dead’ in that, no one had really heard from you at that point, not even your brother, who was my best friend. In any case, I ended up moving away from England to come live here with Lily and Harry and I suppose you know the rest. We met here, I wasn’t sure if you were actually the Regulus I knew or not, turns out you are, and here we are…” he trailed off now that he was at the present.
He withheld the part about Regulus being more or less actually dead, as it was reported in the paper, because he didn’t think it was worth it to worry him even more about something that was untrue…yet. He also didn’t mention their relationship because that might’ve been a bit weird and creepy to bring up right now.
Regulus stayed quiet as he processed everything he said and James watched for the familiar signs of his migraine, the wince on his face, the pain in his temple, but all he asked was, “I have a brother?”
James nodded, “Sirius, Sirius Orion Black. He’s barely more than a year older than you- he looks just like you- actually, wait here.”
He apparated home before apparating back.
“Okay so-.”
Regulus stared at him, jaw on the floor, eyes terrified, “Where the fuck did you just go?”
“Home,” he breathed, holding up the small bag in his hands.
“But you- How? Oh god, let’s just get back to that later, what’s in the bag?” he asked wearily, looking about ten years older than he had at the start of this conversation.
“I brought a few mementos from your past,” James said softly, opening his bag and pulling out a photograph. The first was of Sirius, standing on the Astronomy Tower. His back was to the ledge, the sunset casting a warm glow across his face. He was grinning, head tilted to the right, his lean frame stretched out with an air of complete ease. This was the Sirius James liked to remember—happy, youthful, free.
Regulus took the picture, staring at it as if it were an arithmancy problem he almost understood. “This is my—ahh,” he winced, pressing a hand to his temple, eyes squeezed shut as he dropped the photo, which drifted into his lap. “Migraine,” he managed through gritted teeth.
James reached for Regulus’s hand, letting him squeeze it tightly to combat the pain. He could feel how intense it was, the pressure nearly numbing his own fingers. “I don’t think you’re just getting migraines, Regulus,” he said gently. “You get them whenever you start thinking too hard about your past, right?”
Regulus looked up, dazed but listening. “I suppose... maybe. I never thought of it like that.”
James nodded, watching him carefully. “I think it might be some kind of magical block. But I want you to try to push through it—just for a little. It’ll hurt, but it might help you remember more.”
Regulus’s face twisted, uncertainty in his eyes. “Can you just tell me about Sirius? Were we… close?”
James went on about Sirius- describing his love for chocolate and apple pie and leather jackets. How he could listen to the same David Bowie record on repeat for hours and how he had done so every time he could get his hands on the latest edition. He talked about how great he was in Charms and how they got up to their fair share of mischief at school, pranking everyone within a 10 kilometre radius.
He got a little carried away and reeled it in at the look on Regulus’ face. Awe and amusement with a twinge of sadness twisted across his face, “I can’t believe I have a brother but all this time and he’s never looked for me? If I just disappeared, did he not even care?”
James hesitated, running his tongue over his teeth, trying to find a simple answer for such a heavy question. “He cared, but things were… complicated. You and Sirius had a rough time growing up, and that carried into adulthood. The feelings you have when you think about your parents? Those are real—they were honestly horrible people.”
Regulus’s frown deepened. “What were their names?” he asked, adding with a slight wince, “Something celestial, I presume?”
James could tell he was nearing his breaking point, the strain on his face clear. “Walburga and Orion Black,” he replied gently.
“ Ahh ,” Regulus grimaced as if the names triggered an even sharper pain. He pressed his hands tightly to his temples, eyes squeezed shut, and lurched forward in his chair. James quickly leaned in to rub a calming hand on his back, hoping to steady him. “Just breathe with me, alright? In… out…”
But the breathing didn’t help, nothing did because in a heartbeat, Regulus slumped forward, collapsing fully into James’s lap, unconscious.