sweet talk
James dragged himself out of bed taking half the blankets with him as he half-rolled, half-stumbled over to the closet, probably looking very drunk. He wasn’t, though, thinking about it, he kind of wished he was. At least then his head wouldn’t be spinning and he might be able to forget the rest of the day.
It wasn’t that his days were going bad per say, just that he wasn’t able to focus and he felt guilty because that was impacting his performance with his students, which were the main reason he even got out of bed, there wasn’t very much to look forward to. Although that day, Sirius had set up something after they all finished teaching (who ‘they’ was, James had no idea). Sirius had texted him the previous day, ‘would you happen to be free tmrw??????’ and then two seconds later, ‘nvm, unless you’re like dying or something you’re coming :)’. James hadn’t gotten much of a response after that other than to meet Sirius at his flat after he finished teaching.
He was really regretting getting out of bed and also cursing the sun (and light in general, who gave it the right to be that bright?) as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He scrolled through his calendar, drinking the boiling coffee as he contemplated cancelling classes (even though it was, in fact, only the fourth week of classes) and going back to sleep. He didn’t, instead he put on proper clothes, shouldered his bag and locked his door.
He made it to campus and started setting up. The morning was a blur as he gave a small lecture, mostly applying his students' knowledge to prepare them for the test in a couple days.
His break came all too soon, as his last morning class filed out the door. He grabbed his bag and went to the cafe down the street. Usually when he showed up, Regulus was already there, sitting in the back. James would ask to sit with him, Regulus would nod and they’d sit in comfortable silence together until Regulus would get up and leave. Sometimes James would try to start conversation but usually it was just the two of them sitting there together.
Regulus wasn’t there so James sat down and ordered a sandwich. Once he’d finished he stood up and walked around campus a bit until he decided to go back, having only about ten minutes left in his break anyway.
As he was going back to his class, James saw a light coming from Regulus’ studio and poked his head in, it was the first time he’d left it unlocked. He forgot what he’d been about to say as he caught sight of Regulus dancing.
Georgia, Georgia, I love your son
And when he gets older, he might be the one
He might be the one
Regulus’ eyes caught his for a split second and then Regulus faltered, to James it seemed to be the first time he’d taken even a tiny misstep in the entire time he’d been watching. James thought he heard a small hiss, as if Regulus were in pain seeing him there but he watched rapt, as Regulus caught himself elegantly and finished the routine.
Regulus stomped over before the last note had finished, scooping up his phone and pausing the music.
“What do you want?”
“I-” James trailed off as he looked down.
“Is your ankle okay?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because it looks painful.” James grimaced as he looked at it more closely. It looked inflamed and hurt. He continued, “Have you been dancing on it this entire time?”
“What the fuck else would I be dancing on?”
“Er, yeah good point. Can I look at it?”
“Why? Are you a med professor now?”
James cracked a small smile, “No, but I could’ve been.”
“No.”
“No, what? You don’t think I could’ve finished my med degree?” James’ smile widened as he teased Regulus, then added, “Well clearly you’re right. I’ve decided that humanities is better.”
“No you can’t see my ankle.”
“Oh.” James paused, “Will you let me drive you to an actual, proper, certified doctor then?”
“No.”
“You need to get it looked at, seriously, it looks bad.”
Regulus turned around, limping slightly and after a couple second he turned back around,
“Why are you still here?”
James raised his eyebrows, “I’m not leaving until you promise me you’ll have it looked at.”
Regulus paused. “Fine. Yes, whatever.”
“You’ll let me look at it then?”
“No. I’ll go to the doctor later or something.”
“Don’t you not have a car?”
“I’ll take the bus.”
“I can take you.”
“No.”
“Regulus it’ll only get worse if you don’t do anything. I mean I don’t-I wouldn’t…” James trailed off and sighed. It had been a long morning. “I wouldn’t, like, want to pressure you or anything but I truly will stand here until you agree to let me look at it or bring you to a doctor.”
“I can do it myself, James.” His voice was like ice, seemingly cutting through the space between him and James, which to James seemed unable to cross no matter what he did.
“Okay, then I’ll walk you to the bus stop.” He sighed again, “Look, if you really want me out, fine, but you need help Regulus.”
“I want you out. I think I’ve made that clear.” James nodded slightly and stepped out of the doorway. As soon as his foot was out of the doorframe, Regulus slammed the door, locking him out. But he already felt locked out and isolated in regards to Regulus, so what was new?
James ran to his hall, realising that his break was about to end and got there just as students started coming in. The afternoon dragged on in a similar form, although he loved teaching his lessons and he would get caught up in them quickly, trying to test the students, asking them questions and making them connect historical situations and state the significance of some event or another. So it didn’t feel too long until the last bell sounded and he collapsed in the chair, realising he was exhausted. But in a good way. He loved the subject matter of his job a lot more now and the students were wonderful.
He remembered suddenly that he’d promised to go over to Sirius’ after classes so he packed up quickly, cut the lights, locked the door and made his way over to the car park.
He drove to Sirius’ flat, trying to quell his exhausted thoughts that seemed to jump from one topic to the next without sense, making him more tired. He turned the music up.
There's a starman waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it
'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile
James got to Sirius’ flat and knocked on the door, banging on it loudly and repeatedly so that Sirius knew it was him. There was no response. He tried a couple more times and then rooted around his bag, taking out a small spare key that Sirius had given him.
“I’m coming in so put on your pants.” He yelled into the dark room as he switched on the lights. There was no one there. He pulled his phone out to call Sirius, and realised it was dead. He opened the door to Sirius’ bedroom, stepping around the mattress which had been temporarily set up for Remus as they waited for the bed that they were to put in what Sirius called ‘the storage room’ (it was really just towers of boxes in which he shoved all the stuff he had no place to put). He looked around the nightstand area where Sirius usually left his charger unit he found it, then he dragged it out to the living room and plugged his phone in. He picked up a random book as he waited for his phone to charge.
He opened it and gasped in a breath. It was one of the only two photo albums Sirius owned. One James had gifted him for graduation from secondary school, a compilation of his favourite photos of their friends and them throughout the years and the second one, James was holding. He’d only seen it a couple other times and one had been when Sirius was very, very drunk and James was trying to make him ‘go to sleep already’ and prevent him from doing something very stupid.
He opened the cover, with Sirius’ family crest on it and flipped through the pages carefully, seeing the photos from when Sirius was a baby and then the family photos his parents had made them take every year, keeping up appearances that everything was fine, they always looked stern and very victorian in those photos, it looked staged. Because it had been.
He flipped through the pages, mostly of Sirius until he got to one. He stalled looking at the tiny human in a vest and dress pants. And he looked the exact same. Exact same piercing eyes that looked like they knew everything, even at age three, and exact same curly black hair, although in the photo it looked a lot more tame than in real life. There was no doubt, he was staring at a picture of baby Regulus. He didn’t know how it had gotten there, this was supposed to be Sirius’ album, James assumed Regulus had one as well, so he wasn’t sure why that picture would be in Sirius’.
He quickly put it away as the repeated dinging of his phone startled him. He looked at the hundred and three missed messages and calls he had. Most of them were Sirius asking where he was, but it seemed that he’d gotten Remus to try to get a hold of him as well.
James called Sirius back, and he picked up on the first ring.
“Where are you?!” The first thing James noticed was the really loud background noise.
“At your house, I let myself in, sorry my phone died.”
“Ughhhhhh, we waited for you James.”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry I actually have a life.”
Sirius gasped and said, “You’d better take that back because you know I have way more of a life than your sorry ass does.”
“Rude. I’m not taking it back because you know you’re wrong. Anyway, where are you, Jesus Christ I can barely hear you, why is it so loud?”
“We’re getting drinks!” Sirius had to shout a little over the noise.
“Who’s we?”
“Me, moony and a couple of the other professors.”
“Right okay, and you want me to come?”
“Obviously.” James sighed, but then decided that he could probably use a drink, or worst case scenario, if he didn’t end up drinking Sirius and Remus would need a ride home.
“Fine. Send me the address, yeah?”
“Yep! Already have!”
“Alright, bye Sirius.”
“Byeeeeee James.”
James hung up and copied the address Sirius had sent him into Maps.
He stole one of Sirius’ jackets, seeing as he just had a t-shirt and it was already dark, meaning it was a lot colder.
He drove to the bar, a little place right outside campus and parked, calling Sirius to let him know he was there, as he got out of the car. Sirius told him they were in the back at the bar and James pushed open the door, scanning the dimly lit place until he found Sirius, waving aggressively at him and Remus next to him, laughing at his antics.
He went straight toward him and Sirius lit up and engulfed him in a hug and ordered him a drink. It was nice. He hadn’t been out with his friends like that in…quite a bit. They talked and caught up more and Remus and Sirius introduced him to a couple of other professors. They chatted for quite a while and danced and laughed until James’ phone lit up. He was pretty sure he could feel the blood draining out of his face.
21:48
Regulus: can you.,
Regulus: wrong number4
Regulus: del3te this/
“Hey, I have to go, but can we meet again next week, just you, me and moony?” He yelled over the music and chatter to Sirius. Sirius nodded and was then promptly pulled away by Remus who wanted to dance with him. James smirked at Sirius who only rolled his eyes and let himself be dragged away by Remus.
James drove back to the school building, thinking that it was the most probable place he would find Regulus, he was always there until late, dancing, James assumed, although he hoped he wasn’t seeing as his ankle had probably only gotten worse.
James felt a sense of deja vu as he approached Regulus’ studio. The door was cracked open again, except this time Regulus was not in view of the small portion of the studio that James could see from the other side of the propped door.
“Regulus?” James pushed the door open, making sure to hang back in the doorframe, sure Regulus wanted nothing to do with him, much less have him in his studio.
“Go away.” The words were childlike, but his tone was bitter and tight. James, against his better judgement and small will to live that was left, stepped further into the studio, pushing the door open.
Regulus was sitting against the mirrored wall, knees to his chest, looking disinterestedly at his phone, a bottle of something half-full next to him. He was probably (at least a little) drunk.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, ok, do you need something?”
“No.”
His eye fell on the half-full bottle again and, seeing as he could probably use water or coffee or something, James asked, “Would you want to come out with me to the cafe or something?” He didn’t register his words until after he said them.
“No.” Something in James fell, but he convinced himself he was relieved. He couldn’t imagine how that would’ve gone if he’d said yes. There was a long pause and then Regulus looked up from his phone and said, “I’m going out though, so.”
“You’re kicking me out, then?”
“Yes.”
“How rude,” James smirked at Regulus, who only looked away. Then he grabbed hold of the bar directly above him and tried to lift himself up but his ankle gave out, and he hissed in a pained breath. James was by his side in an instant, catching his arm to try to steady him. Regulus gave him the coldest glare he’d maybe ever received (except perhaps when he and Siruis had dyed Snivellus’ hair bright pink in secondary) and he let go, backing away with his hands up.
“I’m going to take you to the doctor. It-” James looked down at his ankle and he didn’t know what to tell Regulus. It looked awful. And really, really painful.
“How are you not, like, passing out or something right now?”
Regulus scoffed and tried to hobble past James but he couldn’t put pressure on his ankle, and he wasn’t walking straight anyway.
James turned around and went to the opposite side of the room, back towards the door. Regulus sunk back down to the floor, sighing and closing his eyes, which flew open as James started to noisily drag the chair across the room. His usual scowl settled back on his face as he said, “Stop making that noise.”
Instead of stopping, James picked the chair up off the floor and carried it to where Regulus was.
“Do you have bandages? Or a split? Or any medical supplies?” Regulus scoffed and gestured to the back closet on the left side of the room. James had no idea what his reactions meant, it was disconcerting, normally he was fairly good at reading people but Regulus was a closed door, a mystery.
James retrieved the first aid kit and whatever else Regulus had on the shelf (which seemed to be all unused medical supplies). He made his way back to where Regulus was still sitting on the floor picking at his shirt.
He didn’t know how to begin, which was an odd feeling, he felt that he was constantly the one saying the right things, that he was the one who was expected to be happy and talkative.
Regulus didn’t make him feel that way. He was pretty sure that was a good thing, but it made for really fucking awkward conversations.
“Can you stand?” Point in case. Obviously he couldn't stand.
Regulus scowled at him and of course he attempted to stand, in hindsight that was not the best question that James could’ve asked…
James put all the stuff down carefully and helped Regulus into the seat which caused him to receive another scathing glare.
“Can I…?” James gestured toward his ankle.
Regulus sighed and gave a practically imperceptible nod. James almost jumped for joy but refrained, giving him a small smile and starting to unpack the first aid kit, which was perfectly organised and looked new.
He started humming, a nervous habit he had as he removed Regulus’ sock and looked at his swollen ankle.
“Does this hurt?” James moved the ankle very slightly. Regulus grimaced but gave a shake of his head.
“Regulus, I need you to tell me whether it actually hurts, even a little.” Regulus just averted his gaze.
“Fine, what about this?” He moved it in the other direction making sure to be very careful. Regulus grimaced again, which James took as sign enough. He already knew Regulus wouldn’t be able to point it (he really shouldn’t have been dancing on it, but James wasn’t about to make him shut down again by scolding him, even though, seriously? Why would he do that?). James sighed and started bandaging his ankle trying not to move it too much. He realised it was bleeding and got smaller patches to put on the many blisters that Regulus did not seem to care about, and then finished securing his ankle.
“You’re probably going to need a boot or something for this, you should go to an actual doctor. And you should really stop ignoring the blisters and cuts.”
Regulus wasn’t even looking at him. He finished bandaging it and told him,
“Keep it elevated and ice it every 15-20 minutes so that the swelling goes down. Oh, and whatever you do, don’t move it. It’ll only make it worse.” He put an ice pack on his ankle (because Regulus also had a small cooler with ice packs in the closet, which James assumed were also unused).
James left, running down a couple halls, hoping that Regulus would just stay put for once, grabbing his stuff from his class and a bottle of Ibuprofen, and running back. Thankfully Regulus was right where he’d left him.
“Can we go to the doctor? There’s a 24-hour clinic near here. If not, I'm driving you home, you can’t stand in a moving bus like this.” James gestured toward his ankle. With that and the half empty bottle sitting next to him, Regulus would have a hell of a time getting home
Regulus shook his head and muttered, “I’ll just go tomorrow.”
“Okay come on then.” Regulus tried to get up and James braced his left side, helping him walk out to the car park, after putting everything back and turning off the lights.
James helped him into the car and gave him Ibuprofen, which he refused to take. After about ten minutes Regulus reached over to turn on the music, and James started tapping his hand on his knee.
Oh when it's cold
I get warm just thinking of you
When I'm alone
I stare at stars and hope dreams come true
They arrived at Regulus’ flat and James looked over to see Regulus half asleep. James helped him out and they got in only to be faced with the daunting task of Regulus’ third floor apartment with three flights of small, creaky stairs and no lift. James tried to help him up the first flight, but it was clear that wasn’t going to work, so on the first landing, James scooped Regulus up and carried him up the next two flights which caused Regulus to give him tired glares and mutter curses at him.
Regulus opened the door and tried to push James away, but James helped him into bed, making sure he didn’t put pressure on his ankle, elevating it once he was laying down and then left to get him a glass of water.
Regulus drank the water and finally took the Ibuprofen, seemingly very tired and delirious. James left a couple minutes later, when Regulus had fallen asleep. He left the Ibuprofen on the kitchen counter along with another glass of water and against his better judgement, a note.
He got into his car, jumping as the music started playing again when he started it.
Sweet talk
Everything you say
It sounds like
Sweet talk to my ears
You could yell
"Piss off! Won't you stay away?"
It'll still be
Sweet talk to my ears