home and truths
When Rosie got home, she hugged her whole family before she went to her room, Sascha following her. She texted Noel that she was home, and he was over shortly after.
Rosie opened the door when he knocked and wrapped him in a hug. Noel wrapped her in a tight hug and whispered to her. “I missed you. We will figure this out together, no matter what.”
“Missed you too,” Rosie said, sinking into his hold.
When they broke the hug, they went up to her room.
Once the door to her room had been mostly closed, Noel handed her the plastic grocery bag he had been carrying.
Rosie took a breath and took the bag from him. She went into her bathroom and closed the door.
She took the test and set it on the counter. She washed her hands before opening the door to her bathroom so Nolan could come in.
Noel went into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He could feel she was tense.
“Hey. No matter what. We are in this together. I will always do whatever I need to take care of you and any children we have,” Noel said.
Rosie nodded.
“What are you thinking?” Noel asked.
“I’m scared. I’m not ready for this,” Rosie said.
“And there are options if we aren’t,” Noel said.
“Yeah. But no matter what. If it tells me I’m pregnant. . . our lives are going to be forever changed,” Rosie said.
“Yes. But our lives will always change as time goes on,” Noel said.
“How are you so calm about this?” Rosie asked.
“Because I know freaking out isn’t going to change anything,” Noel said.
“I guess,” Rosie said.
Noel kissed her cheek.
“But your sister had a kid young, and you saw how that ended,” Rosie said.
“Rosie,” Noel said. “That was a very different situation. Lily’s father was a very damaged man and did not get the support he needed. And my sister went through something very traumatic that she didn’t deal with properly before she ended up pregnant.”
“Do you forget what I’ve been through?” Rosie asked.
“No. But you have gotten years of therapy. And I love my parents, but they didn’t handle my sister being pregnant well either time,” Noel said. “Your dads. Yeah, I’m sure they won’t be thrilled. But I can’t see them handling it the way my parents did. Even my parents admit they didn’t handle it right,” Noel said.
Rosie nodded as she heard a noise outside her bedroom door. “Who is out there?”
Maddy knocked on the door. “Me.”
“Maddy, come in,” Rosie said.
Maddy went in, “Papa just want to know um. If you two were, um. . . hungry?”
Rosie sighed. “You heard something you weren’t supposed to.”
“I wasn’t trying to listen, I swear I just walked up at the wrong time,” Maddy said quickly.
“Are you going to tell anyone?” Rosie asked.
“Promise I won’t,” Maddy said.
“Thank you,” Rosie said
“Are you pregnant?” Maddy asked.
“I don’t know, I’m waiting for the test to be finished. You should go tell Papa we will be down for lunch in a few minutes,” Rosie said.
Maddy nodded and left the room.
The alarm went off, and Rosie took a breath.
“We will figure this out together. No matter what,” Noel said.
Rosie flipped the test around, and it said, ‘not pregnant.’
Rosie let out the breath she had been holding.
“So, why did the test at your grandfathers say positive?” Noel asked.
“Well, it didn’t at first. I don’t know,” Rosie said. “We should go eat. After I can take another one,” she said before she threw the test into the garbage.
“Okay,” Noel said.
The two left the bathroom. They went downstairs and grabbed some food from the counter before they sat down at the table and ate.
“How was California?” Hayley asked.
“It was good,” Rosie said. “I met someone who knew my mother when she was young. Helped her with that weird thing I have of the ability to read people. I went and saw Joy and Shawn. Met Kai.”
“You got to meet Kai?” Kenzie asked, with slight jealousy in her voice.
“I did,” Rosie said.
“So not fair,” Kenzie said.
“You will meet him soon. They will be coming down here for Christmas,” Dave said.
Hunter had been watching Maddy who was poking at her food.
“Maddy. You okay?” Hunter asked.
Maddy didn’t respond.
“Maddy?” Hunter said
Maddy snapped out of her thoughts. “Sorry, what?”
“You okay?” Hunter asked
“Yeah,” Maddy said, faking a smile before she put a bite of food in her mouth.
Dave and Hunter exchanged a look.
Rosie took a breath. She knew what was up with Maddy. And now she had a whole other thing to worry about.
After lunch, Rosie and Noel went back upstairs. She took another test, and it was also negative.
Noel looked at her after. “So you aren’t pregnant.”
“No. But now I have to deal with the fact that Maddy knows I could have been and she never does well with secrets,” Rosie said as she threw the second test in the garbage with the first covering them both with the plastic bag Noel had brought them in.
“Do you think she will break and tell them?” Noel asked.
“If they push her enough about what’s wrong. Maybe,” Rosie said as she went into her bedroom and sat on her bed. “And I don’t know if it’s fair to ask her to keep this secret.”
“You could tell her you’re not? Noel said, sitting next to her on the bed.
Rosie nodded
You’re okay now, though?” Noel asked
“Yeah. Just so relieved. I don’t know why I’m late is the only thing,” Rosie said.
“What can cause someone to be late that’s not a pregnancy?” Noel asked.
“Stress, certain medications, change in weight, or certain medical conditions,” Rosie said.
“You on any new medications?” Noel asked.
“No,” Rosie said.
“Your weight change?” Noel asked.
“Not that I know of. My clothes fit the same. I don’t weigh myself. It’s a triggering thing for me,” Rosie said.
“You more stressed than normal?” Noel asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe with the major life change about to happen,” Rosie said.
“I get it. I’m nervous too,” Noel said.
Rosie nodded.
“But we are going to be there together,” Noel said.
Rosie smiled. “I do think the only reason I’m going to be able to do this is because you will be there.”
Noel smiled. “Ditto.”
There was a knock on her bedroom door.
“Yeah?” Rosie said.
Maddy came in. “They know something is up.”
“Yeah. I know they do. I saw the looks they gave when you were deep in thought at the table,” Rosie said.
“I’m sorry,” Maddy said.
“It’s okay. I’m not pregnant,” Rosie said.
Maddy let out a breath. “Why did you think you might be?”
“My period is really late,” Rosie said. “And it has never been late.”
“Oh,” Maddy said.
“Not sure why. But I’m not pregnant,” Rosie said.
“Okay. Good,” Maddy said. “I mean. . .”
“No. You’re right. It is good. I do not want to be pregnant. Not now,” Rosie said.
Maddy nodded.
“So. There is no secret to be kept. It’s not like they don’t know we have sex,” Rosie said.
Maddy scrunched up her face.
Rosie chuckled. “Gross for you to think about that?”
“Yeah. . . “ Maddy said.
“Sorry,” Rosie said.
“It’s okay,” Maddy said as she left the room.
Rosie laid on the bed, Noel laid next to her and wrapped an arm around her. Rosie snuggled into him. Sascha climbed up behind Rosie on her other side.
“You understand more about your ability to read people?” Noel asked.
“It’s caused by a mix of things,” Rosie started. “When a woman is pregnant, the baby feels what the mother feels. It forms our nervous system, so if a mother is stressed, the baby feels it, and it can cause trauma. I guess that’s why when a woman is pregnant, they are supposed to try and limit stress. So I guess because my mom never dealt with her trauma, it affects me. I guess that’s what they mean by generational trauma. But also my nervous system is so fucked up because of all the trauma I have been through and the fact that if I didn’t pick up on the clues when my aunt and her husband were angry that anger was unleashed on me. So I learned how to read the subtle micro-expressions and such as a protective mechanism. So even though I know now I’m safe and all that, my subconscious is still there protecting me.”
Noel nodded.
“But knowing this means I can help my subconscious realize that in certain situations I’m safe. Like, I know if my parents found out I thought I might be pregnant. I know they won’t punish me for it. But my subconscious might be thinking if I was still living with my aunt and was in the same situation how bad that would be,” Rosie said.
“Yeah. Based on what you have told me. I get that,” Noel said.
“I don’t even think your parents would react the way my aunt and her husband would have. Or did when your sister was,” Rosie said.
“No. They weren’t happy, but they did everything they thought was right. And my sister was never in danger from them,” Noel said.
“Because they love your sister. My uncle never did love me. And I don’t know if my aunt did or what, but I’m sure she would have just backed up her husband. Because that’s what she always did,” Rosie said.
“You are calling her your aunt. You’ve never done that before,” Noel said.
“That’s what she is,” Rosie said. “I spent too many years trying to figure out what to refer to her as. No matter what she did, she is my aunt.”
“That is true,” Noel said. “I was just wondering if she said something that made you forgive her?”
“No. There is nothing she could say to get me to forgive her. I understand there were things out of her control, but she had options to get us out. I was on my family property less than a mile from my grandfather's four times a year, and her husband never knew. She could have brought me there, and my grandfather would have gone to the ends of the earth to protect all of us,” Rosie said. “I just finally got the closure I needed. I know I say that every time I have seen her since. But this time feels different. I got answers and also found out things I never would have known because she told me. Paige’s parents knew everything. Beatrice told the police this, but I also spoke to the new captain, and he told me it was known, and they were handling it.”
“They should be locked away the same for their knowledge and having done nothing,” Noel said.
“Well. Paige’s father is already in prison. For things,” Rosie said. “Not because of anything he did to me. But yeah. The new Captain doesn’t seem too invested in doing anything about that.”
“He’s in jail for whatever you testified about a couple of years ago?” Noel asked
“Yeah,” Rosie said.
“And it wasn’t anything to do with you? But you had to testify?” Noel asked.
“I witnessed something,” Rosie said. “When I was a kid. It’s not my story to tell.”
“Okay,” Noel said.
“And the new Captain?” Noel asked.
“All I was told is Captain Franklin had moved, and the new guy took over,” Rosie said
Hunter knocked on the open door.
“Yes,” Rosie said.
Hunter went in. “You two wouldn’t happen to know what’s up with Maddy, would you?”
Rosie sighed. “She is still acting off?”
“Yes,” Hunter said.
“Can we talk about it later?” Rosie asked.
“It’s not like I don’t know,” Noel said. “You can tell him.”
Rosie let out a breath.
Hunter closed the door and looked at Rosie expectantly
“When she came up to get us for lunch. She overheard Noel and I talking about something she shouldn’t have,” Rosie said.
“Oh?” Hunter asked.
“We were waiting for. . . test results,” Rosie said.
“It was your test at your grandfather's?” Hunter asked. “You’re pregnant?” he asked.
“No. I’m not. I don’t know why that test said pregnant. It said negative when I first took it. I took two here, both negative,” Rosie said.
Hunter nodded slowly. “Were you going to tell Dad and I?”
“If I was, yes. But I wasn’t planning on it, no. I told Maddy I’m not, and it’s not like you and Dad don’t know we. . . you know,” Rosie said. “I told her it wasn’t a big secret, so she didn’t need to worry about keeping it a secret.”
“Okay,” Hunter said. “I’m going to talk to your Dad about this. But you are going to call your grandfather and tell him the truth. Because you have to remember he also worries it could be Becca’s.”
“Okay,” Rosie said softly.
“You’re not scared of him, are you?” Hunter asked.
“Scared of disappointing him,” Rosie said.
“More so than Dad and me?” Hunter asked.
“No, but I didn’t lie to you,” Rosie said.
“Why did you lie to him?” Hunter asked.
“I panicked,” Rosie said. “I admit I don’t know how he would react to it. I know you and Dad would not be happy about it, but Grandpa is a little more traditional in his thinking.”
“So you are a little scared of him?” Hunter asked.
“Intimidated by a little is probably the better way to phrase it,” Rosie said.
“Okay. Do you feel comfortable enough to tell him, or should Dad or I?” Hunter asked.
“Papa. I promise I’m not scared of him. I can tell him,” Rosie said.
“Okay,” Hunter said. “Why did you think you were pregnant, by the way?”
“I’m really late,” Rosie said. “And have never been before. If I don’t get my period this month or I’m late like this again, I will bring it up to my doctor.”
“Okay,” Hunter said. “Anything else you should tell me?”
“I don’t think so. You know about going to see Beatrice,” Rosie said.
“Yeah. We will talk about that later,” Hunter said.
“I figured,” Rosie said.
“Okay. I will leave you two alone,” Hunter said, leaving the room. Leaving the door mostly open.
Noel looked at her. “Should you call your grandfather right now?”
“I don’t want to do it with the door opened. I don’t need anyone else knowing,” Rosie said.
“Fair enough,” Noel said.
Rosie snuggled into him again and closed her eyes.
*****
That evening, after dinner and after Nolan had gone home, Rosie went to her room and closed the door. She sat on her bed with her phone and took a breath before calling her grandfather.
“Hi Nizhoni,” Kele said.
“Hi Grandpa,” she said.
“I’m surprised to hear from you so soon,” Kele said. “Good surprise.”
Rosie smiled a little. “Maybe I should be calling you more if you think that way.”
Kele chuckled. “I would not dislike that.”
“But I am calling to clear something up,” Rosie said.
“Oh?” Kele asked.
“So. I’m not pregnant. But it was my test,” Rosie said. “When I took it, it had said negative I. don’t know why it said positive when you found it. I took a couple more tests here, and both were negative.”
Kele let out a breath. “Why did you lie to me?”
“I panicked. You caught me off guard,” Rosie said softly.
“Okay. But I told you I wouldn’t be angry,” Kele said.
“I know. I’m sorry. I was also confused by the positive result when it said negative for me. It was wrong not to be honest with you, and I’m really sorry,” Rosie said.
“It’s forgiven,” Kele said. “Because you came clean.”
“Okay,” Rosie said. “Thank you.”
“I did talk to your Dad about it,” Kele said.
“Yeah, I know,” Rosie said. “Maddy overheard Noel and me talking while waiting for the test result here and figured it out. Of all my siblings, she is the one who doesn’t know how to keep a secret. She tried. But her face shows when something is wrong, and I guess Dad and Papa figured out whatever she was keeping secret was related to me.”
“Ah. Are they who told you to call me?” Kele asked.
“Papa did. But I would have done it anyway. I didn’t feel good about having lied to you,” Rosie said.
“Okay,” Kele said. “Rosie. You didn’t lie to me because you were afraid of my reaction?”
Rosie let out a breath. “I’m not afraid of you, no. But I know you aren’t as modern-minded as my dads are,” Rosie said.
Kele resisted the urge to chuckle. “Rosie. Your mother was conceived before I was married to your grandmother.”
Rosie opened her mouth to say something but didn’t know what to say.
“Where did you get the idea that I would be less likely to be open-minded about it?” Kele asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I just got the impression I guess that you are more traditional in your beliefs and values,” Rosie said.
“Do I think two teenagers who just graduated high school are ready to be parents? No, but I also know these things happen,” Kele said.
“I’m sorry for assuming,” Rosie said.
“It’s okay. It just means that I haven’t shown you enough that I will always be here if you get into any kind of trouble,” Kele said. “That I will always be here for you no matter what.”
“No matter what?” Rosie asked.
“Of course,” Kele said.
“If I ever did something like Beatrice did?” Rosie asked.
“I know you would never,” Kele said.
“Did you think Beatrice would ever?” Rosie asked.
“I see your point,” Kele said. “Rosie. I do still love my daughter. I hate what she did to you, but she will always be my daughter.”
“I get that,” Rosie said. “I found out when I saw her that she was not involved in the actual kidnapping of me. She didn’t know he was doing that until I was in their home.”
“Really?” Kele asked.
“Unless she is lying, but I don’t think she was this time,” Rosie said. “But regardless, she could have come to you with me, and I know you would have gone to the ends of the earth to protect her and I.”
“Yes, I would have,” Kele said.
“The biggest thing for me is I was at the family property four times a year. I was within a mile of you, and I had no idea,” Rosie said.
“Yeah. I have thought about that too. But a lot of the times she would have brought you neither Becca nor I would have been here. And she would have known that,” Kele said.
“Oh,” Rosie said.
“Because if we were there, I would have known. You know how when you showed up there with your dad and the police, I was there? Because I knew someone was there,” Kele said.
“Ah. I guess that makes sense,” Rosie said.
“I wish I had been there, Nizhoni. Every time I think about it. I wish I had been here so I could have gotten you home sooner,” Kele said.
“You know it’s not your fault, right?” Rosie asked.
“I should have kept in contact with Beatrice. I should have checked in on her. I knew she left Becca with me for a reason. But she told me I couldn’t contact her because she did not want Darrel to know where to find Becca,” Kele said.
“Yeah. He definitely didn’t know where she was. He probably would have tried to take her back,” Rosie said.
“Well, I have guns, and he knew that,” Kele said.
“And my dad’s an FBI agent who keeps a gun in the house too,” Rosie said.
“True. But he might not have known that. And your dad might not have been as on guard as I was knowing he could show up,” Kele said.
“No. He didn’t know where she was. I’m ninety-nine percent sure of that,” Rosie said.
“That is very possible,” Kele said.
“He wanted her back. He told Beatrice to get her back. She refused, and that’s when he came up with the plan to get me,” Rosie said. “I guess I was easier to find than she was. But either way, not your fault nor my father's. It’s on Darrel and their lawyer and Beatrice for not speaking up when the police came to talk to them. The police had eyes on me and didn’t know.”
“Are you sure about that?” Kele asked.
“Well, according to Beatrice,” Rosie said.
“Ah. So maybe,” Kele said.
“I do think she was being honest,” Rosie said.
“Okay,” Kele said. “She tell you anything else?”
“Yeah, that girl she was with. She is connected to the family of one of the girls who were my best friends when I was there,” Rosie said. “It’s a long story. But Darrel blackmailed her into marrying her, kind of.”
Kele took a breath and let it out slowly.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that. . . “ Rosie said.
“No. I’m glad you did. I think I’m going to visit her and get the truth from her,” Kele said. “All of it.”
“Okay,” Rosie said.
“You are okay?” Kele asked.
“Yeah. I know you were not happy about me going, but I don’t regret it. For once, I feel like she was completely honest with me and gave me the closure I needed,” Rosie said.
“I’m glad you got your closure,” Kele said.
Rosie yawned. “Sorry.”
“You are tired. You had a long day. I’m going to let you go. Get some sleep, Nizhoni,” Kele said.
“Okay. Good night, Grandpa,” Rosie said before they hung up.
Rosie went and took a shower before going downstairs and starting to make some tea.
Dave came into the kitchen.
“Hi Dad,” Rosie said.
“Hi,” he said. “You call your grandfather?”
Rosie let out a breath. She knew Papa was going to tell him, but she didn’t think it through to the conversation after the fact. “Yes,” she said, looking down.
“Look at me,” Dave said.
Rosie looked at him.
“I’m not angry with you,” Dave said.
Rosie relaxed a little.
“I wonder if you are maybe under extra stress right now?” Dave asked.
“Ah. You Googled what could cause me to be late,” Rosie said.
“Of course I did,” Dave said. “It’s my job to make sure you are okay.”
“I’m not sure I’m extra stressed, but maybe more just anxious about the major change that’s coming,’ Rosie said.
“That is to be expected,” Dave said. “But you will be okay. I know you will. Because you have done things so much harder.”
“Yeah. I went through years of abuse, but I didn’t really know how bad it was until I was out. And anything I have been through since being here. I had you and an entire family that has just kept growing to fall back on. I will be kind of on my own out there. Yeah, Nolan will be there, but you won’t,” Rosie said
“I am only a call away. Always,” Dave said.
“Yeah, on the phone,” Rosie said.
Dave smiled. “You need me. I will do everything in my ability to be there.”
Rosie smiled and nodded.
Dave kissed her head.
“What, to know something I found out about Grandpa and, well, Mom?” Rosie asked.
“Sure,” Dave said.
“She was conceived before he was married to grandma,” Rosie said.
Dave chuckled. “Never would have guessed that.”
“Yeah. Me neither,” Rosie said.
Rosie moved to the table with her tea.
Dave sat across from her. “We do need to talk about you disobeying Papa and me.”
“And I came in at the right moment,” Hunter said, sitting next to Dave.
“I am sorry I had to do it the way I did. But I got my closure. And I know I say that every time. But this was different. We had a real conversation. She was honest with me. I think, anyway. She answered all the questions I had for her and gave me even more than I asked for. I got my peace. I have no plans to visit her again. But I needed to do this, Dad,” Rosie said. “And if you feel the need to punish me still, I will accept it, but if I could go back in time, I’d do the same thing.”
Dave let out a breath.
“Something I don’t know if you forget, but I lived with her for twelve years. I called her mom. And I never got real closure with everything. And while I know it was the right thing, I’m glad I was able to come home, where I am much happier, safer, and healthier. That entire life was ripped away from me. I needed this, Dad,” Rosie said.
“Trust me, I didn’t forget that, Rosie,” Dave said. “I will never forget that for twelve years I did not know where my daughter was.”
She realized she had hit a nerve.
Hunter realized it too and took Dave’s hand in his and squeezed.
“Sorry, Daddy. I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said.
Dave took a breath and let it out slowly. “I know Bambina. You are not at fault for what they did. And I do understand your need for closure.”
“We both do,” Hunter said. “But you still disobeyed us.”
“I know,” Rosie said.
Dave and Hunter looked at each other and had a silent conversation before both looking back at Rosie.
“You are an adult. And you were punished by your grandfather. We are not going to add on,” Dave said.
“Thank you,” Rosie said as she finished her cup of tea. “Anything else, or can I go?”
“You do not need to worry about your dad and me. We are okay,” Hunter said.
Rosie nodded slowly.
“Promise, Rosie. I have known he is stubborn since our first date. I married him knowing getting him to retire would not be easy,” Hunter said.
Rosie chuckled.
“So. I knew that and still married him,” Hunter said.
“Point being, we are okay. So that worry you had, you don’t need to,” Dave said.
“Okay,” Rosie said.
“And you can go now,” Hunter said.
Rosie got up and went and hugged them both before going up to bed.