Falling Joy
James awoke tired and disgruntled. Not his usual state at all. His dreams had been haunted by images of tangled pale and tanned limbs, dark and blond heads, icy silver-blue eyes, passionate kisses and no climax. Even his efforts at self relief had resulted in a lacklustre performance and dissatisfaction. With an effort he hauled himself out of bed and into the shower.
“Bloody hell Potter, why in all that’s magical have you let that Black bastard get under your skin?” James muttered as the hot water hit his back.
James still had no answers when he meandered down into the kitchen sometime later. No one else was about so he grabbed a mug of coffee and wandered out into the back garden. There was a large, leafless oak tree towards the back fence with a simply wooden bench underneath. ‘A good spot’ he thought ‘Out of the sun in summer and the wind in winter.’
Carefully he made his way along the narrow shoal covered path that bisected the garden. On one side there was a reasonable sized grassy area with some flowering bushes against a high fence, while the other side had neat rows of vegetables covered with straw to keep out the worst of the winter frost and snow. Even in the chilly, damp morning air, the garden was picturesque and peaceful.
James leant back against the tree trunk and closed his eyes, remembering how his mother would send him out into the garden when his emotions or overwhelming need to just do something got too much. Sometimes he would take to the sky and practice every quidditch move he could until he was drenched in sweat, sometimes he would sit under the old oak tree at the bottom of the formal garden and listen to the birds and animals as they went about their lives until he was calm inside and out. Right now, he was grateful for the calm of this well loved garden.
He had no idea how long he had been sitting there, eyes closed listening to all the tiny nature sounds when he felt a body sit down next to him. The scent told him it was Pandora. He kept his eyes closed and let her calm join his for a while. Some time later, it may have been five minutes, it may have been an hour, James didn’t know, he felt a gentle kiss in his cheek. “Yes.” She said so quietly he wasn’t sure she had said anything. “It is you.” And she left him to enjoy the peaceful garden alone once more.
It was late morning before anyone else came to disturb James' peace. He had actually managed to doze despite the cold air, and was feeling much more his normal bouncy self.
“Ahh. There you are. I’m surprised you’re still in human form.” Sirius said, plonking down on the bench beside him.
“Huh?” James cracked open an eye.
“I’d have thought this was more a Prongs retreat than a Potter one.” Sirius elaborated.
“You do know that Prongs is part of me, right?”
“Sure. But resting against a tree isn’t terribly Potterish is it?”
James laughed, sunshine radiating out of him. “It had been a while.” He admitted “So what’s up? Did we plan something I’ve forgotten about?”
“Nope. Just thought you might want company before you froze to death.” Sirius grinned at the raised eyebrow he received “And the others are talking about academic research papers which is soooo boring.”
James could only imagine. “Want to take Padfoot and Prongs out for a run?” He asked
James felt the surge of happiness as Sirius’s face lit up. Sirius threw his arms around James and squeezed. “Inspired Potter. Inspired.”
——-
Regulus awoke with a scream and tangled in bed sheets. The residue of his nightmare lingered. He could still feel the sharp clawed hands ripping his flesh as hideous creatures with familiar faces pulled him down into dark stagnant water. He swallowed another scream as his body spasmed with remembered pain of the crucio curse his mother had favoured. Regulis rubbed his arm absentmindedly. Crucio was amoung the curses his delightful family and Voldemort had used on him when he got his mark. He looked down allowing all the hate and anger to well up, banishing the residue of fear left by his nightmares. There was still work to do.
Grateful he had turned down Vs offer of further distraction, Regulus untangled himself and got up. An image of beautiful honey coloured eyes floated in front him. Regulus allowed the sigh to escape. Okay. So they were the real reason he had said no to going home with V in the end. V had laughed, he laughed a lot Regulis realised, and said see ya round before plunging in for a very thorough kiss. Regulus smiled a little. A very different kiss to the messy passionate few seconds he had shared with James.
“Oh Jamie” he muttered to himself “What on earth is going on here?” Regulus honestly didn’t know what to make of it all. He knew he could talk to Pandora but she was on a quest of her own and for all his selfishness Regulus would not derail that. Still musing he found the shower and got ready for the day.
It was late morning when Regulus heard Pandora knock on his door. He’d spent the last couple of hours mapping out how he was going to accomplish the rest of the tasks he’d set himself not long after he’d received the dark mark on his sixteenth birthday. Voldemort was finally dead and he had proof if anyone ever asked. The problem of Gloriana was still several months away. In the meantime he was going to deal with his narcissistic and sadistic family.
“Come in” he called “Yes, that should work.” he continued and closed the small notebook he carried with him.
“Hey. I wasn’t expecting you back til after lunch.” Pandora said taking in the messy bed and neat Regulus. “Or did V leave early?”
“Neither.”
Pandora raised a brow. Regulus returned with one of his own. They both grinned.
“Couldn’t go through with it?” She asked
Regulus shook his head. “What were you guys doing there?”
“Originally I wanted to just go out with Lily, then … well ..”
“Sirius.”
“Sirius.” She agreed
“And wherever there’s Sirius there’s Remus and James.”
“Yes. And I wasn’t about to leave Willow and Tara out, so we all descended upon the village pub.”
“Out of the three available drinking spots, any particular reason you chose that one?” Regulus asked
“Coincidence.” Pandora replied airily.
“Hardly.” Regulus huffed.
Pandora pouted then said sunnily “Remus saw it on his morning walk so that’s where we went. How was I to know you and V would be there?”
Regulus merely tilted his head in response. He knew his friend well enough. Remus may have audibly chosen the venue but Pandora would have pointed it out to start with. He shrugged. It didn’t matter now. The decision had been made and he was not one to dwell on such things. Not when he had vengeance on his mind. “So what’s the plan now? How long are we staying?”
Pandora noticed the change in tone but let it go. “We’re booked here til the day after tomorrow, the others are the same in their place. Last night it was decided that Willow and Tara would stay with Lily in London, from where they could reach out to a group called the Watchers. James, Sirius and Remus are planning to go back to the Potters.” she summarised.
“And us?” He asked, curious to know what she had in mind.
“You said you needed to go. And I think you’re right. Kreacher was terribly anxious and quite incoherent when I spoke with him this morning. Something about Walburga on a rampage, House elves being punished and Dark magic flying about.”
“Shit.” Regulus turned and stared out the window. A magnificent stag and large black dog racing for the woods caught his attention briefly, then he dismissed them to be pondered upon later. “I’m going to need to go back tomorrow. If Mother is in such a visible state then something has gone horribly wrong in her world. More than me not turning up to my own engagement dinner.”
“Do you think?”
“Maybe. The timing’s about right.”
“Why not tonight?”
“You know why.”
Pandora nodded, even though Regulus couldn’t see her. She did know why. And she wouldn’t stop him. There was too much pain still to come.
“You didn’t go home with Lily?” Regulus asked after a long pause.
“No. I said we’d go over this afternoon though.”
“We?”
“I was being optimistic.”
Regulus turned back to her. “What if I’d decided to stay with V for a while? I quite enjoyed being Art again last night.”
“I did notice a lot of similarities with your brother.”
Regulus laughed. “Well yes. That is who the character is based on. When we were in France I’d ask myself ‘How would Sirius approach this situation?’ And then do that plus a bit more. It was quite refreshing not being me for a while,”
“You know you could be that person more often.”
Regulus shook his head. “Not in this world. Maybe one day if I ever move to a tiny muggle town in the France or Austria or Greece.” he said, almost wistfully. “Right now I’ve got things to do that require the cold, charcoal hearted, reclusive, and arrogant Lord Regulus Black.”
Pandora closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his still too bony chest. Grateful for her never ending support Regulus returned the hug. They stood together, lost in their own thoughts until a distant clock chimed midday. At one point Regulus had wondered if Pandora had fallen asleep until she started muttering half finished spells under her breath, at which point he decided the safest course of action was staying still. With the final chime of the clock, Pandora rose on her toes and kissed Regulus on the cheek. “You be you.” She whispered, then dropped back down and gave a final squeeze. “Come on. Let’s find somewhere for lunch before we go annoy the gryffindors and their guests.” She chirped