Duty and Duplicity

Logically, Jamila knew there were only three other girls in her year and that she would be rooming with them. However, she was unprepared for the disapproving looks from Lily Evans as they were shown to their dorm. The other two girls, Mary MacDonald and Marlene McKinnon, had chatted nonstop all evening. They had met on the train and clicked immediately—at least, that’s what they told Jamila during the walk to Gryffindor tower. Amid their exclusive conversation and Lily’s narrowed side-eyes, Jamila felt utterly left out, just as she had feared. She wrung her hands nervously while the prefect, Cindy McLaggen, briefly explained the house rules.

“Curfew is at nine; everyone must be in their designated common room by then. Otherwise, you risk losing house points or, worse, detention. No noise after eleven at night or before nine in the morning—that’s more of an unspoken rule.” Cindy’s voice was motherly, but she didn’t look much older than fourteen, with a tiny button nose and full cheeks surrounded by a mane of blonde curls.

Jamila craned her neck to peek into the dorm when Cindy finally opened the door. 

“Beds, bathroom, closets for each of you. The windows do open, but not enough to climb through, so don’t try it.” The older girl gestured vaguely at the various features, looking exhausted after a day of travelling and herding younger students. “I have to say no boys are allowed, but… they can’t get in anyway. The stairs turn into a slide if they try.” Jamila scrunched her nose while Mary and Marlene giggled. She had spent years trying to keep a boy out of her space—why would she want to invite one in ?

Lost in thought, she hadn’t noticed Cindy move aside. Marlene and Mary rushed in first, claiming the two beds on the right side of the circular dorm room. It was surprisingly large, almost impossibly so, considering the actual size of the tower surrounding the spiral staircase they had used. 

“Extension charm.” Cindy muttered to Jamila, who looked around in awe as she stepped inside. 

“Right.” Jamila nodded, quickly realising the only open bed was to her direct left, next to Lily. She pursed her lips and pulled her trunk from the centre of the room over to her new bed.

“Early morning tomorrow. Get to bed.” Cindy barely finished sentence before the door clicked shut behind her. 

“This is brilliant!” Mary laughed, flopping onto her back on the plush mattress with a contented sigh.

“Can you imagine all the things we’ll get up to in here?” Marlene lay on her stomach, facing Mary with her chin propped on her fists. Like sleeping? Or ignoring each other? Jamila thought. Her mum would have said she was being cynical, but when she glanced over her shoulder to see Lily still frowning at her, Jamila figured she had at least some reason to feel that way.

With a deep breath, Jamila turned to face Lily fully. “Have I done something?”

“Your brother is extremely rude.” Marlene and Mary fell silent as Lily spoke. Jamila sighed, briefly rubbing her eyes under her glasses.

“In his defence, your friend was rude first.” Jamila opened her eyes to see the same look of annoyance from the train.

“He was not! He was just…” Lily looked to her hands as if searching the right words. “Sev is just hard to understand. He wasn’t trying to offend anybody!” 

Jamila made a face of disbelief. “But he did offend someone—multiple someones, actually.” She shrugged.

“Your brother didn’t have to respond like that, even if he did. Being the bigger person isn’t hard,” Lily retorted, crossing her arms and tilting her chin up defiantly. If Lily weren't arguing directly with her, Jamila might have respected her ability to stand up for her beliefs, even if they were a bit stupid.

Jamila stood and shuffled through her trunk for her toothbrush. “Take it up with him, then.”

Mary and Marlene were now fully engaged, sitting cross-legged on their beds, heads bouncing between the arguing pair like they were watching a tennis match.

“Well, you didn’t seem opposed to what he said, so taking it up with you is as good as anything.” Lily stood up, aggressively searching through her trunk for her toiletries. Jamila whirled to face her, shaking her head incredulously.

“I’m not my brother's keeper! I don’t control who he argues with!” Jamila threw her hands up, and Lily paused, placing her hands on her hips and rolling her eyes at the ceiling.

“I dunno what you lot are on about but…” Marlene spoke tentatively when the silence lingered. “Are you really gonna argue over the stupidity of boys on our first night here?” Jamila and Lily both looked at Marlene, before exchanging glances. Jamila snorted and Lily’s lips curved up into a bashful smile.

“Guess it is kind of silly, ruining our moods over things we didn’t even do,” Lily said quietly. Jamila nodded in agreement.

“Shall we make a deal then?” Mary stood up and moved to the middle of the room. Marlene was on her feet in seconds, standing next to her. Jamila and Lily hesitated before climbing off their beds to join the other two.

“We can argue all we want, about anything, as long as it’s not about boys. Ever.” Mary extended her hand into the centre of the group.

“Deal.” Marlene placed her hand on top.

Jamila and Lily exchanged a look before placing their hands in the pile, both murmuring a “Deal.”

The girls stood there with their hands stacked on top of one another, looking at each other expectantly. Marlene started laughing first. “Well, go on—raise your hands!” she said between breaths. The girls awkwardly lifted their hands, bumping each other on the way up and erupting into giggles that filled the quiet dorm room.

“I’m sorry for being cross,” Lily said once her laughter subsided, turning to face Jamila.

Jamila shrugged. “I’m sorry for being rude.” She smiled brightly at the redhead.

Lily Evans might have been the prettiest girl Jamila had ever seen; it was easy to smile when she did.

“Right, that’s settled then.” Mary looked around the room, hands on her hips. “Do you reckon we could all squeeze onto my bed for a chat?” She smiled at the group.

They built a small encampment of pillows on Mary’s bed. To their delight, the beds magically adjusted to accommodate whoever was on them, and they lay side by side, discussing their grand plans for their lives at Hogwarts until sleep overtook them.

***

Friday, September 17th, 1971

“Who thought it was a good idea to schedule Herbology at nine a.m. after we had Astronomy until nearly two in the morning?” Marlene whined, stretching her arms over her head. “I mean, seriously. I’m spent.”

Jamila peeked her head out of the bathroom, grimacing as the warm steam escaped into the cooler air of the dorm. “You should have taken a nap after dinner.” She slipped back into the bathroom to change into her uniform, then swapped places with an urgent-looking Mary. Jamila was still getting used to sharing a bathroom and needed to remember to let Mary go first since her hair took so long to style.

“A nap wouldn’t have kept me awake during Herbology, anyway. It’s not very engaging.” Marlene was pulling on her shoes, hopping around on one foot at a time.

“Not true; I liked it.” Jamila said simply. Lily had been sitting quietly on her bed, shuffling through parchment sheets. She nudged Lily’s foot. “Alright there, Evans?”

“We just have so much to do already,” Lily replied distractedly, sorting through the sheets once more and neatly placing them on her bedside table.

Jamila scoffed fondly. “It’s all simple work. Don’t get wound up during your first month.” She slung her bag over her shoulder and made for the door.

“Wait for me!” Marlene called, rushing to shove her own things into her bag.

“Oh, it’s Peter’s birthday. I’m having breakfast with the boys.”

Marlene relaxed a bit, placing her bag on her shoulder. “We’ll walk together, then. That way we can all say happy birthday, right?” She glanced at Lily, who was already rolling her eyes.

“Do we have to?” Lily had made her distaste for James very clear. As much as it bothered Jamila to juggle two different groups, she understood Lily’s reasoning. The boys had been at each other’s throats since they met on the Hogwarts Express. It was ridiculous, even for boys.

“You don’t have to; I’m sure they won’t mind.” Jamila smiled at Lily before leaving the dorm.

Just as the door closed, she heard a fading voice: “But I wanted to say hi to Sirius!”

Jamila cringed to herself as she made her way down the winding steps to the common room. Mary and Marlene were very clear about their rapidly growing interest in talking to boys now that they were at Hogwarts and "on their own." It seemed many girls in their year were particularly keen on Sirius. They always looked at him in a funny way when he was around. Jamila couldn’t figure out why. He was just a boy.

James had promised they’d wait for her on the morning of Peter’s birthday, and he kept his word. As Jamila descended the stairs, she spotted the boys standing by the portrait hole. She waved excitedly, and three of them returned the gesture while James stood with his arms crossed.

“There you are!” he sighed as Jamila approached the group. “You take far too long to get ready. All you have to do is shower and come downstairs.”

She ignored him, wrapping her arms tightly around Peter. She couldn’t be bothered to explain that sharing a single bathroom with four girls often turned mornings into a race against time. Maybe she’d start showering at night.

“Good morning to you too,” she muttered to James as the boys began climbing out of the portrait hole. “Happy birthday, Pete!” She said fondly, digging through her bag for a small package while letting the others go ahead. Peter flushed the same way he always did when someone did something nice for him.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he replied bashfully, right on cue, just as he had every year since they’d known him.

“Just take the gift,” Jamila laughed, following behind the others. She had picked up the leather notebook engraved with Peter's name during her trip to Diagon Alley before term started. “It’s just something small, from both of us.” James had no hand in the gift; he was always a bit scatterbrained and likely forgot to prepare ahead of time anyway.

“I’ll open it at breakfast,” Peter smiled brightly at her.

“Or you can open it now. Come on, I’m excited!” She coaxed, grinning.

Peter didn’t take much convincing; she was almost certain he’d jump off a bridge if enough people told him to.

Jamila watched with excitement as Peter tugged on the ribbon tied around the wrapping paper.

“Oh, wow!” Peter gaped as he revealed the notebook. The leather looked just as nice as she remembered. “I’ve never had a book this nice.” He ran his fingers over the engraving, looking as grateful as he probably felt.

“Thought your first-year notes should look as important as they are.” She nudged him with her shoulder as they approached the doors of the Great Hall. Peter laughed and pushed the door open for them. Jamila slid in and gave him a silly, exaggerated bow.

“Thank you, my dear sir,” she imitated her father's posh accent as best as she could. Peter returned the bow.

“My pleasure, kind lady.” His impression was much better, causing her shoulders to shake with laughter as she looped their arms together for their walk to the Gryffindor table.

Surprisingly, James was smart enough not to question the still half-wrapped gift in Peter’s hand. “Did you like it?” he asked eagerly as the two sat down. Jamila settled next to James, who was next to Sirius, who sat across from Remus, who was next to Peter. This had slowly become their unspoken seating arrangement.

“I did, thank you.” Peter beamed, his face one of pure delight.

“Did you guys do the History of Magic worksheet?” Remus asked suddenly, glancing down the table. James and Sirius nodded, their mouths stuffed with food.

“Yeah,” Peter said, piling his plate high with sausage and eggs.

Jamila thinned her lips, rifling through her bag to find the worksheet. She sighed as she pulled it out. She had been so caught up in the excitement of finally having girlfriends that she hadn’t remembered there was a worksheet at all. She wondered if the girls had remembered. Quickly, she began scrawling answers. They were fairly simple, open-ended questions she could easily make up answers for.

“And I’m the disorganised one?” James teased.

“Do you want mine? It’s pretty hard to read, but…” Remus trailed off, reaching into his own bag. Jamila nodded, smiling at the quiet boy.

“That’d be great, thanks.” She held out her hand for his worksheet, squinting at his slanted handwriting before placing it on the table. She started rewriting his ideas and adding a few of her own for variety. As she worked, she heard a group of girls laughing and raised her head to see her friends approaching. They sat down at the table, leaving a small gap between the groups.

“Morning!” Jamila smiled at the girls, who waved back excitedly.

“Oh no, was that due today? I knew I was missing something,” Lily groaned, scooting closer to Jamila and pulling out her own worksheet. She shot a scowl at James, who had his mouth open and ready to greet her, before starting to work. Marlene and Mary seemed hardly concerned. Jamila wondered if they had already completed the worksheet and just hadn’t said anything.

Sirius was intently listening to James talk about Quidditch. Thank Merlin , she thought, someone who cares enough about Quidditch for James to talk to.

“Good morning, Sirius!” Marlene smiled at him. 

Sirius snapped his head around at the sound of his name, looking confused, and waved awkwardly before turning back to the conversation. Jamila figured that was enough to make Marlene happy, the girl looked delighted with herself while she snagged a piece of toast to butter.

Sirius hadn’t spoken much since they’d all been sorted. James had privately told her that Sirius was concerned about his family being upset with his house placement. Jamila had only met his mother once, and briefly, but Jamila knew if she had made that woman angry, she wouldn’t be feeling very chatty either.

As if on cue, a large mass of owls flew through the windows at the top of the walls, all bearing letters. Peter received a few packages, Jamila and James both got letters from their parents, Remus received a small package of cookies from his mum (which he graciously handed to Peter for his birthday), and Sirius got a large red letter. Jamila held her breath as Sirius opened it, glancing at James with concern. This was Sirius’s first owl since he’d arrived.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK!” Everyone around them winced, some even covering their ears, but Sirius looked unfazed, his expression unchanged. “IT IS ONE THING TO DISGRACE THE FAMILY NAME WITH YOUR ANTICS AND INADEQUACIES. IT IS ENTIRELY ANOTHER TO GO AGAINST OUR BLOOD-BORN RIGHT. YOU WERE TOLD WHAT TO DO TO AVOID THIS AND YOU DIRECTLY DISOBEYED ME. NATURALLY, YOUR OWL HAS BEEN CONFISCATED FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH. AND DO NOT THINK FOR A SECOND I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU HAVE BEEN SPENDING ALL YOUR FREE TIME WITH. YOUR FATHER AND I ARE APPALLED. KEEP UP THIS NONSENSICAL BEHAVIOUR AND YOU WILL BE STAYING AT HOGWARTS FOR CHRISTMAS.”

The letter erupted into flames, eliciting the first reaction Jamila had seen from him since it arrived. Sirius reeled back, allowing the letter to turn to ashes in front of him. He then wiped the ashes away as if they were merely crumbs from his breakfast and looked around at the horrified faces staring back. The girls awkwardly picked up their things and left the table, clearly wanting to avoid the aftermath. Jamila watched them go, giving Lily a little wave before turning to James, who had his mouth open to speak. But Sirius beat him to it.

“So, what did you want to do for your birthday, Pete?” Sirius leaned his arms on the table, smiling. When he was met with silence and frowns, he sighed. “I’ve been waiting for that letter for weeks. It’s over now. No use dwelling on it. And I’m not going to stop hanging out with you guys, either. I know an empty threat when I hear one.”

Jamila felt her shoulders relax a bit; that explained why he’d been so quiet.

“Well, I… I’ve heard that we can go to the kitchens… I really just want some cake,” Peter finally said, looking between the group.

James scrunched his face in confusion. “Where’d you hear that?”

“Our Head Boy, Partik Patil.” Peter shrugged. The group looked at him like he’d just told them the most earth shattering information. In all fairness, he did. This was breaking news to Jamila, at least. Sirius looked surprisingly smug about it all.

“Wouldn’t need Partik Patil to tell you if you just read Hogwarts: A History. ” Sirius murmured over the rim of his goblet.

“So we can just… Go to the kitchens?” Remus ignored Sirius, before popping a piece of toast into his mouth.

Peter nodded. “Yeah, there's lots of house elves. They actually get really happy to see students. They’ll make us anything.” 

“Well,” James raised his cup of pumpkin juice, “to Pete and his extensive knowledge on things he never tells us!”

Jamila lifted her cup alongside everyone else, snorting at James’ use of “extensive knowledge.” He had a strange habit of using words and phrases he’d overheard from their parents. At least he used it right this time, she thought, much better than when he thought “epitome” meant “extremely scary.”

They finished their breakfast, gathered their things, and resolved to find Partik to hound him about how to locate the kitchens while making their way to the dungeons for Potions.

“As boring as Herbology was, at least we get a break from Snape for a day,” Sirius mentioned.

James groaned. “Oh, don’t remind me. He’s always mouthing off.”

“Dunno why you guys keep this going. Just ignore him, and he’ll ignore you,” Jamila insisted, looking between the boys. She felt a tug on her sleeve and turned to see Remus pulling her back slightly.

“He called Sirius a pathetic excuse for a Black the other day,” he said quietly, glancing around to make sure nobody was listening.

“Oh…” Jamila murmured, glancing at James, Sirius, and Peter, who were already indulging in their own plans to turn Severus into a mole rat when they figured out how. “What else has he been doing?”

“Just saying nasty things, really. I think he’s still angry that they embarrassed him in front of Evans on the train.” Remus leaned down to keep his voice low.

“What a strange thing to stay so stubbornly angry about,” she replied thoughtfully, a frown creasing her brow.

Jamila watched Remus shrug and rejoin the boys. She trailed behind, scanning for any sign of Lily. Spotting her walking into the Potions classroom from the adjoining hallway, Jamila sped up, shouldering past James and running toward her.

“Lil!” she called, causing the shorter girl to whirl around in surprise.

“Brother and his friends bore you already?” Lily asked with a wry smile. Jamila rolled her eyes, tugging Lily to the far side of the hall, waiting for the group to enter the classroom before speaking.

“Severus has said some really horrid stuff to them. Especially to Sirius,” she said seriously, causing Lily’s smile to drop.

“Like what?” Lily asked, suspiciously.

“He said Sirius was a pathetic excuse for a Black. And some other things.”

Lily let out a sputtered breath, her lips flapping. For once, she seemed at a loss for a defence.

“Suppose I could talk to him?” Lily offered. Jamila shook her head, biting her thumbnail.

“Stop that. Terrible habit,” Lily muttered, pushing Jamila’s hand away.

Jamila huffed. “Well, you can’t. He’ll ask how you know.”

“I’ll just say people talk. I don’t have to bring anything specific up.”

“If you want. I just don’t know what to do about the boys; they seem equally keen on getting back at him.” Jamila eyed the boys inside the classroom. Lily followed her gaze and shrugged.

“They’re your problem. Sev is mine.” Lily smiled before skipping into class. Jamila looked up at the ceiling, willing someone to grant her the strength to get through this term with at least some of her sanity intact before following her friend in.

Jamila made her way to her seat, offering a polite smile to the Slytherin girl she had sat next to on their first day. It had all moved too quickly for her to dwell on it. James had snatched Sirius and pulled him to a table near the middle. Remus and Peter sat together, deep in conversation when they came in. Mary and Marlene huddled in a corner before Jamila could even think of them and Lily had quietly apologised before rushing over to Severus’ table at the front. Jamila didn’t mind not having a best friend like everyone else; it just meant she had equal time for all of them. She did miss James sometimes, though.

The girl next to her, Dorcas Meadowes, had long braids and deep skin that seemed to glow even in the darker Potions classroom. She was quiet and thoughtful, and Jamila liked having her as a partner.

By the end of class, Jamila had learned that Dorcas was also wickedly funny, quick with her responses, and had a way of making Jamila laugh until her shoulders shook. It didn’t earn them many approving looks from Slughorn, but Dorcas was knowledgeable in the subject, which seemed to make up for their chatting. “Potion-making is a lot like cooking,” she said, explaining how she often cooked with her mum. Jamila debated asking her own mum to teach her over the summer, even just to become more comfortable with a knife for when they needed to start brewing next year.

“You gonna ditch us for Evans again?” James appeared beside her at their dismissal, making her jump out of her thoughts as she packed her textbook.

“What? I didn’t ditch you.” Jamila furrowed her brow, pulling her bag over her shoulder.

“You did. In the hall. It’s Pete’s birthday—”

“I know it is. I’m the only one who got him a gift,” she hissed quietly, frowning at her brother. “I didn’t ditch you then, and I’m not ditching you now. I just had a question for her.”

“Well, it seems she takes up a lot of your time now.” James followed her as she walked.

“And Sirius doesn’t take up yours?” she retorted.

“I don’t hide away with Sirius for hours on end. I hang out with everybody. It’s not my fault he and I happen to be the more talkative ones in the group.” He shot back just as they rejoined the boys in the hallway.

“You’re just mad I’ve made a friend who doesn’t want to be friends with you.”

“I should be. That’s kind of messed up, Jam.”

“James. That’s not why I became her friend.” She turned to face him now. “I couldn’t very well ignore her, could I? We’re going to be living together for seven years!”

“You’re a bit too keen on being chummy with her for someone who claims she was just trying to keep the peace.” James scowled.

“Guys!” Sirius stood between them, glaring. “It’s Peter’s birthday, and all he wants to do is have fun and find the kitchens so he can have some cake. We can’t do that while you two are chopping each other’s heads off. So either get over it and hug it out or get lost.” Jamila shrank into herself, feeling immediately embarrassed.

“Sorry.” James muttered first. “Guess I’m just not used to not having you around all the time. I feel kind of left out, seeing you whisper and giggle with the girls.” He shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m sorry, too. I’ve been feeling the same way,” Jamila threw an apprehensive arm around James’ shoulders. He returned the side hug.

“Bet you get your kicks out of being friends with the only person I can’t seem to get even a smile out of,” James muttered, a slight smile creeping onto his lips.

She laughed, looking at her brother. “You know what? Yeah, I kind of do.” 

“Thought so. Don’t blame you either. Just don’t go getting all friendly with Snivellus.” James nudged her as the group began walking again. The previously hardened tension thawed around the edges.

“Ew. I’m not that terrible of a sister.” Jamila grinned.

“Right,” James said, rounding on the group and clapping his hands. He walked backward, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “Lunchtime. We’re going to ambush Partik and demand answers on where to find the kitchens. Then, after dinner, we’ll all get under my cloak and get that cake. We’ll sneak it into the dorm and eat until we collapse.”

It was quite clear to Jamila that this was not their first time planning something after hours.

“Can we all fit under the cloak?” Remus asked tentatively, looking at how large they were as a group.

“I’ll stay back. The stairs turn into slides if we try to sneak into each other’s dorms anyway,” Jamila shrugged.

“Who told you that?” Sirius asked, an amused smile on his face.

“Cindy McLaggen.” Jamila responded easily. When Sirius laughed, she looked at him in confusion. “What?”

“You guys really need to read Hogwarts: A History .”

This was his third time saying this since they’d met.

“Is she wrong?” Jamila asked.

“Nope.”

“Then what’s so funny?”

“Read it. You’ll see. We’ll save you a slice and bring it to breakfast, promise.” Sirius chuckled. Jamila frowned but didn’t protest. She didn’t really like cake anyway. Nor did she fancy the idea of being in the boys' dorm. James’ bathroom at home was bad enough; she didn’t need to see the product of four unsupervised boys.