chapter one
Regulus wished this had happened to anybody else, but he also didn’t. He mostly wished it hadn’t happened in general. As he thought about the night, his memory came up blank besides pieces of what happened. He mostly remembered the feeling of helplessness and the smell of iron, almost like what happened when Sirius ran away. He remembered what happened the night Sirius left perfectly though. Regulus heard the three fighting, screaming at each other before he heard Sirius stomp up the creaky stairs, erratic breathing and the sound of sniffles followed him, echoing off empty gray walls. Regulus hated hearing him cry but he was frozen with fear. Regulus hated that home, glad they both got out. Now Sirius could be happier.
He sat on the uncomfortable hospital chair for the entire night, waiting for an update besides the doctors saying what Regulus already knew. Andie didn’t remember Sirius running away, she didn’t remember taking him in, and yeah that tore Regulus up a bit. His favorite person in the world didn’t recognize him besides maybe him being a twelve year old brat.
Thinking back, Regulus couldn’t even remember why Andie had left, maybe it was to get more bread? He couldn’t think of what she said last, or the last time he thanked her, or said he loved her. What if he never remembered? Or if Andie would remember-“Mr Black?” Regulus nods and the doctor walks towards him with a grim look on her face. She looks young as well, maybe in her early thirties, and blonde, “I’m Doctor Hart, I’m your cousin's primary doctor for right now. I understand you’re her next of kin, right?”
“Yes I am, is there another problem?” “Mr. Black I’m sorry to say but your cousin seems to have limited brain functions, we thought when she first arrived that it was amnesia from the accident but as we are progressing with her treatment it seems to have affected more than just her memory-""Wait, I’m sorry what does this mean?” Regulus cut in, panic laced in his voice. He didn’t notice standing up, but now he had to sit down, feeling like the world had spun quicker than normal.
“Essentially, when we first got a CT scan, we did not see that she had a brain bleed, since that was two hours ago, and we just noticed and started treating it, it’s progressed to a point to where she might not make it through this. Already she’s losing brain function, meaning she is worsening and could slip into a vegetative state.” “Can- can I see her?” Regulus asked, lip quivering.
Following her down the fluorescent hallway, Reg’s heart pounded, he could hear his blood rush through his ears, and yet he couldn’t think. His mind was empty, he didn’t know fully what ‘vegetative state’ meant, nor did he know what to do besides call Sirius. But what would he even say, ‘hey Sirius, sorry I ghosted you for years, hope you’re well. By the way, Andie might die!”
Walking through the door to her room was a smack in the face, the sharp scent of sanitizer filled his nose and it was cold, colder than the waiting room and probably rivaled the rain outside. “You can talk to her, she’s not awake but I think it could help.” Regulus could tell that Pandora and Doctor Hart would have gotten along. “Thanks” he said, with a smile more close to a grimace. Thinking about Pandora tugged at his heart a bit, but he pushed the slight warmth away, stepping fully into Andie’s room.
Regulus looked around the sterile room, it lacked life, it lacked the energy that Andie carries around. He cleared his throat awkwardly before walking over to the uncomfortable chair, it was wooden with a plaid patterned cushion. Regulus didn’t really know what to do, he didn’t know how to start. Knowing that she couldn’t hear him made it feel weird to talk to her, like back in Grimmauld.
“I haven’t told Sirius yet, I guess I wanted good news before telling him,” Regulus scoffed at himself before continuing. “I’m scared that he won’t show up in time, I know you’re dying but just hold on okay? The doctors said there's a chance you’ll wake up but I doubt that. They didn’t see what happened, they didn’t see you getting attacked. I’m so sorry I didn’t help right away, I swear if I had understood what was happening- I’m so sorry.” His voice quivered, thinking about what happened only hours before.
Those men came from nowhere, he hadn’t even seen them before they started grabbing at Andie, screaming at her to give her purse and jewelry. Regulus had stood frozen then, watching it happen, almost slower than it happened. He didn’t break out of the state until it was over, his hands were shaking but he didn’t know why. The only thing he understood was the smell of iron filling his nose, gagging at the smell. Regulus looked around for Andie, suddenly being able to move fully and hear, like his ears had popped. He tried to walk forward but he kicked something in the process- Regulus broke off the thoughts by sobbing.
Why couldn’t he have been quicker, maybe if he had been, Andie would be okay.. “I-I’m so sorry Andie, I didn’t see them, I swear if I had- I should’ve done something. You- you would be okay, it’s my fault you’re not. I’ll call Sirius okay? Don’t worry he’ll come.” Regulus could taste the salt from the tears streaming down his face, snot running but he didn’t care, just wiping it off with his sleeve.
He got up and walked back to the waiting room, stumbling over his own feet, feeling as if he was drunk. He walked towards the pay phone, trying to find his change before spilling it on the ground. “Fuck”, he swore under his breathe, kneeling down in the pouring rain. Why did they have to make the phone outside? This is London, it’s always raining or cold. “Need any help?” A man asked, he was dressed in maroon trousers and a thick jacket. “No, no I’m fine. Thank you though.” Regulus picked the rest of his coins up, cheeks flushed from the cold. As he stood up he saw the man in the waiting room, Regulus looked away quickly, not wanting to be weird.
Regulus dialed the number he had memorized, recalling how many times he punched the numbers in but didn’t call. Regulus didn’t know if he would answer, Sirius was kind of unpredictable. Or atleast was, he didn’t know his brother enough to make assumptions. Maybe he never did though, Regulus and Sirius were always too busy trying not to get into trouble than talking to one another. And once Sirius made it to Hogwarts, he met James. James Potter, not just the sun but the whole universe. Regulus had only talked to him a handful of times, but he had stared at him for so much time, he could recount how many freckles he had. Okay, maybe that's creepy, but Reg knew he spent a lot of time admiring him. Of course he had, when somebody so beautiful is born, it's almost illegal not to look.
The phone rang and rang, he waited until it hung up. He was tempted to just leave a note but he felt Sirius shouldn’t hear from a voice note, so he recalled the number again, this time his fingers shaking more, being more frantic. Again, and again, until he didn’t have any change. “Damn it!” Regulus swore, tears still streaming down his frozen face. He hated this, why couldn’t this have happened to anybody else?
He needed to call Sirius, he couldn’t not tell him, so he wiped the salty tears, tried to control the shake in his hands and walked back into the hospital, walking to the nurses station.
“Excuse me, is there a way you can call my brother?” Regulus did his best to doe eyes, hoping it would convince them to call Sirius. There were only two nurses, they both looked up, one a ginger haired woman and the other woman had curly haired. They both had name tags but the ginger one stood up too fast for him to see hers, the others read ‘Mary’. “Of course, what’s his number?” Regulus repeated the number just like before outloud this time. “We can call him, is there a patient you want us to update him on?” Mary spoke this time,
“I- is it possible if I tell him? I’m sorry.” He didn’t want Sirius to hear it from two girls he didn’t know, “here's the phone, just stay right there, okay? The cord doesn’t go too far” Lily sat back down on the roller chair, about two feet away from him, Regulus had to reach over the counter to actually start the call, his shaking fingers making it hard. You know what they say, the fourth or whatever number this was, is the charm. He heard Sirius pick up, clearly being asleep, with the scratch of his voice. “Hello-Remus what time even is it,” Regulus heard him mumble. “Sirius? I- I’m sorry to call now but it’s important, Andie was attacked, I don’t know how to explain it well but she might not wake up. I need you here, please, please come, please.” Regulus almost sobbed, “Okay, hold on hold on. Reggie? What- where are you? I’ll be there but where are you? What hospital?” Sirius sounded frantic, of course he would but Regulus didn’t know where he was, he didn’t know anything. “I- I don’t know, I don’t know where I am,” now Regulus did sob, tears falling once again, they rolled down his chin like a river. The nurse Mary had gotten up, trying to take the phone from him, “hi sir? I’m a nurse here, this is King’s College Hospital.” She spoke softly, obviously being used to patients breaking down, she seemed kind, Mary gave him back the phone after talking for a few seconds. He tried to control his breathing before lifting the phone back to his ear. “Eg- Reg you there?” “Yeah, I’m here.” “Good, good, I’ll be there in an hour or so,okay?” “Okay,” Regulus repeated, feeling drained suddenly. Regulus hung up, stumbling on his feet.
“Sir, are you alright?” Lily asked, getting up and rounding the counter, Regulus tried to respond but his mouth was dry, like he’d eaten cotton. His world went black, only hearing ringing before he fell onto the tile floor.