Evan would get a letter from Felix once a week, it would arrive at some point in Friday afternoon every week without fail and Evan would read it Friday evening. The letters were part of their routine and it helped Evan to let go of the stress of the week, to know his little brother was okay.
It was Sunday and no letter had arrived that week, Evan had spent all Friday night waiting for one and all Saturday writing home. Felix Rosier would never not get his letter to Evan in time, he'd write with his own blood if it was what it took, everyone who knew him, knew that. Felix Rosier would rather die than worry his brother.
Evan hadn't slept since Thursday night and he was looking like shit, he looked tired even next to Regulus. They say stress ages people, Evan looked as if he'd delt a lifetime of stress. He was staring blankly across the dorm, mentally he was not in that room, mentally he was not, mentally he was a crowd of screaming voices blurred together.
The door opened but Evan didn't do anything, the voices just joined the other ones. "Fuck, Reg he's been like this for hours."
"You think I don't know that?"
"I don't know! Well it doesn't matter cus I was just trying to start the conversation on the point."
"You're acting like a child."
"You're acting like a child!"
"How am I acting like a child?"
"Well I'm trying to think of Evan and how he's acting mental but you're putting focus on me just because you're mad that I got pissed the other night and entered loudly forgetting you were sleeping. Now if you ask me that's pretty petty and childish."
"Good thing no one asked you."
"You are literally just proving my point, now tell me how am I acting like a child?
"How would I know? You're the one acting like one."
"Don't be a smart arse Reg it's not an attractive quality."
"Shut up, Crouch."
"Oh wowwww, busting out Crouch all ready, you're getting bad at making people feel in the wrong through stupid comments."
"Who said I was trying to make you feel bad?"
"You always call me Crouch when you want me to apologise, get new material Reg this is getting boring."
"You're sounding like your father."
...
There was silence, then footsteps, then a loud smack.
"Don't you dare compare me to my fucking father, you sorry excuse of a Black." There was so much hatred in his voice, he sighed. "Dio fottuto."
"Congrats Barty, you've mastered the bitch slap." Regulus had very little enthusiasm in his voice, Evan wouldn't have been surprised if he had heard an unforgivable curse leave Regulus' lips, no one fucked with Regulus Black.
There was more silence and Evan could feel their eyes on him. "My apologies." Regulus never apologised to Barty, let alone this fast, something was very wrong.
"I'm sorry too." Very, very wrong.
Evan felt a hand on his shoulder and part of his bed to his left shift downwards. "You okay Ev?"
There was no response.
Regulus sat on his bed facing Evan and Barty. "Ce qui s'est passé?" Barty couldn't understand French but knew it was something to do with why Evan was acting like this.
Evan took a deep breath. "Félix..." Concern grew on the other boys faces.
"Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas chez lui?" All Barty knew was it was another question based on the info just given.
"Je ne sais pas... Je n'ai pas eu de ses nouvelles." Barty looked between the two back and forth searching for any sign of what was just said.
"J'enverrai une lettre à ma mère." Regulus stood up and Barty looked more confused than ever. Regulus grabbed Barty's arm and pulled him out the room.
"Where are we going?" Barty asked yanking his arm out of Regulus' grasp.
"Owlery."
"... Don't make me ask why."
"Letter to my mother." Barty stared wide eyed at Regulus waved his open hand expectantly in circles infront of himself. "Evan hasn't heard from Felix since last week."
"But Evan gets a letter from him every Friday."
"Exactly the problem."
They walked the rest of the way there in silence and when they got there Barty pointed out "wait but you don't have a letter to send yet." Regulus pulled a quill, a pot of ink and some parchment out of his black messenger bag. "Ohhhh."
…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
"Hey Evan...?" Evan had gotten back into bed and curled up in his covers, on his side his arms pulled near his chest, eyes closed trying his best to silence the thoughts. The voice was soft and familiar.
"Dora?" He opened his eyes.
She sat on his bed and stroked the hair out of his eyes. "He's going to be okay." She had the kind of eyes you would trust in an instant.
"Reg told you?" Evan was mad his immediate reaction was to tell everyone but was also glad he wouldn't have to explain to anyone else, he was also too preoccupied to care.
'Told me what?" She looked genuinely confused, not the kind of fake confused to make people feel better.
"About Felix...?"
"Something is wrong with your brother?" She seemed genuinely sad and concerned like this was new information.
"...What did you mean?"
A smile spread across her face, one of those open mouth smiles that crinkled the corners of people's eyes. "I had a dream about him."
"... Who...?" Pandora's dream visions weren't uncommon but her to be happy about them was.
"Felix!" She seemed so excited to share the news. "I wanted to tell you earlier but you looked creepy when I walked in and I didn't want to bother, I probably should have checked, I'm sorry, are you okay?"
Evan smiled weakly. "I might be doing okay if you share that vision of yours."
"I saw someone, masculine and early or mid twenties, he looked just like you but his eyes were more green than yours and his hair was bleached blonde with around 2 centimetres of dark brown roots. I practiced saying all the details if you couldn't tell."
Evan laughed lightly and Pandora's smile grew wider with his reaction. "Sounds like Felix, it's creepy how much that kid looks like a younger me."
Evan smiled fondly and thought of the kid with the eyes that faded from a rich green in the middle to deep blue around the outside with a spot of brown that looked like a patch of spilled ink in the bottom left of his right iris, there were other spots of brown but they were smaller and looked as if they were splatter from the ink. The kid with the wavey brown hair that very much contradicted the bright blondes of which made the Rosier name.
Evan turned his attention back to Pandora. "You said bleached hair?"
She nodded. "Mhm."
Evan wondered if that was a good thing. Self expression? Paying tribute to somebody's memory? Would that be a good or bad thing? Pressure to be like the rest of the family? Evan instead decided there were more important issues. "You said he was okay? How do you know that?"
Pandora's eyes lit up. "Well for a start he was smiling, he was studying this egg, I think it was a dragon egg! I think Felix works with dragons in the future, isn't that cool?"
Evan thought of the paper birds Pandora had taught him how to make, the ones he had shown Felix and called dragons, the ones he'd fly around whenever their parents would fight so Felix's attention would be on them instead, the ones he'd hide in Felix's bedroom before he left for Hogwarts so Felix would find them and remember he loved him, the ones he'd attach to the ceiling and tell Felix they were watching him and keeping him safe for Evan. "Dragons?"
"Yeah! And there was someone behind him, their head was on his shoulder and their arms wrapped around him, they had mid length, wavey, ginger hair, oh and Félix's was straighter than it usually is I assume from bleach but I don't know, it's weird because testosterone makes hair curlier so his hair should be more, but, anyway, I just think that helps you imagine better?"
Evan laughed again at the pointless little detail but he was greatful at how seriously she was taking describing the vision to him.
"Now for the best part!" Evan looked at her confused: how could anything be better than him being happy and loved? "His sleeve was rolled up." Pandora scanned Evan's face eagerly for a reaction; Evan's brow furrowed.
"And... And you saw something...?" Evan looked pale, his face was weirdly green.
Based on Pandora's expression you might have guessed Evan had just accused her of murder. "No! I didn't! That's the point." Her mood lightened. "He's not one of them."
Evan glanced down at his own left forearm, he was wearing long sleeves but the head of the snake was still visible. Pandora started mumbling. "You know what I mean. I am still mad but not just at you and it's not really at you but also so is at yo-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Evan imagined his brother running away and being disowned just like Sirius had been; he didn't know whether to be grateful he got out or feeling bad he'd had to go through that.
Pandora could tell what Evan was thinking. "There was a photo, one of those muggle, non moving ones, one of your cousins was in it."
Evan refocused on her. "Which one?
"The runaway one."
"...Which runaway one?"
"Your cousin cousin! Your father's sister's daughter. Not Sirius, he's probably in Azkaban by that point."
Evan laughed at the jab at Sirius. "Andromeda?"
"Yeah! That's the one. It was her, Felix, her husband and someone I can assume is that daughter of hers."
Andromeda had left years ago but she was always sweet and Evan was real glad Felix at least had her, Pandora hadn't mentioned anything of him, if he wasn't there for Felix at least Andromeda was. "Where there any other pictures...?"
"There was one of him, me, you, Dorcas, Regulus and Barty at my house, it was really old."
"But Felix hasn't been to your house?" Pandora looked at him like he was stupid and realisation hit. "Oh shit, future, right... I'm real tired."
"Go to bed!" Pandora said with no hesitation.
"It's 2pm."
"Well first of all it's 4 and second you have a lot of sleep to catch up on for tomorrow!" Pandora quickly got up, closed the curtains, "night Evan, sweet dreams" then left and closed the door before Evan could say anything.
Evan rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "He's okay." He spoke under his breath, those words over and over. "He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. He's... D'accord. Il va bien. Il va bien. Il va bien. Il va bien. Il va bien. Il va bien. Il va... Il va... Il... I... He's... Il va...." It didn't take long at all for Evan to fall asleep.
…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
Evan woke up at 4 am, the sun hadn't risen yet. He laid in bed for an hour straight (gay) on his back, once again staring at the ceiling.
There was some rustling from the bed to his left. "Ev...?" Barty was looking over at him rubbing and squinting his eyes. His voice was soft and gentle and quite out of character.
Evan didn't turn to him, not his head or even his eyes. "Yeah Bee?"
"How long you been up?"
"Not sure..." Evan looked away from the ceiling and down to the bottom of his bed.
"Well..." Barty sighed then smiled that charming, mischievous smile of his. "At least you're talkin English."
"Non, j'ai bien peur que non, mon amo-" (No, I'm afraid I'm not, my lov-)
"Shut the fuck up!" Barty yelled as he laughed loudly.
"Fermez-la!" (Shut up!) A yell from Evan's right.
"Sorry sweetheart!" Barty yelled back, there was a loud groan.
Evan mouthed the word 'idiot' to Barty and Barty winked at Evan as he walked towards the bathroom. Evan smiled and grabbed a piece of parchment from the floor, maybe the more letters he wrote the more likely he was to get a response, even if it was out of frustration.
…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
Pandora and Dorcas were already in the great hall when the boys entered. "And he lives." Barty glared at Dorcas for the comment even though it was affectionate.
"Evan." Pandora got up and gave him a hug. "She means it's nice to see you out here."
"Yeah." Dorcas glared back at Barty.
He gave her a light punch on the arm "Okay, angel." before sitting down next to her and pulling Evan into the spot next to him and putting an arm over him and the other over Dorcas.
Pandora and Regulus sat down opposite and everything carried on like usual.
There was laughter quickly increasing in noise coming from somewhere outside the hall, from one group of people, one annoying, obnoxious group of people approaching.
The laughter stopped as James Potter and Sirius Black become visible from Evan's line of view.
Sirius gasped dramatically and shouted "Jamesie!" Heads turned and Peter Pettigrew, Marlene Mckinnon and Mary McDonald appeared behind them. "You called my baby brother a what? A nerd? Well I must defend his honour! I challenge you, sir, to a duel!" James looked uncomfortable and whispered something to Sirius, then sat down.
Sirius gave Regulus a look that to him ment 'Im trying to be brothers again' but to Regulus ment 'me caring enough to defend you is stupid and laughable'. Regulus looked down at his food and Sirius turned back to his friends disappointed and a little mad. The others sat down with Lily Evans and Remus Lupin walking in a joining them.
Regulus swallowed repeatedly and Pandora put a hand on his back.
Evan thought of what it would be like if Felix was older, if he was at Hogwarts at the same time as he was, he would be a better brother. No one would mess with his brother and he'd be always protected and able to find his big brother for anything at any time.
He wouldn't not talk to his brother because he was sorted into Griffendor or something, or because he had been forced to get a mark after he left, but that wouldn't happen, he wouldn't leave. Not without Felix. He would be, no, he is a better brother than Sirius.
…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
There was radio static for the whole day but the next morning Regulus received a letter from his mother at breakfast. Barty was next to him and tried to read over his shoulder and pouted when he realised it was in French. Evan and Dorcas laughed at him from the other side of the table and he pretended to cry "You guys are so mean."
Regulus kept his eyes on the letter but took no hesitation to respond in proper Regulus fashion. "For speaking in our first language?"
And Barty got defensive in proper Barty fashion. "It's not Cas' first language! She doesn't even speak it and she's laughing at meeee!"
Regulus rolled his eyes and passed the letter to Evan, he sighed out in relief then started clenching his jaw and he furrowed his brow.
Dorcas and Pandora waited patiently for Evan to stop while Barty repeatedly asked "Ev? Ev what's wrong?" And Regulus had to cover his mouth with his hand to shut him up.
Evan eventually handed the letter back to Regulus and he uncovered Barty's mouth. "Ev?"
"He's fine." Evan got up and headed towards the exit of the great hall.
"Ev!" Barty stood up in record speed and bolted towards Evan who's speed was increasing.
"Evan?" Pandora followed him, then Regulus and Dorcas joined aswell.
Barty started catching up with Evan while the others speed walked behind and discussed the letter. "What the fuck happened?" Dorcas asked.
"My mother said he's broken his wrist climbing a tree with some Burke boy, they fixed it if course, but they put one of those hard muggle things they use to fix broken bones on him. I don't actually know what the problem was."
"Are you sure they didn't put like spikes in the cast or something?" Dorcas asked.
"You guys do that?" Pandora looked at Regulus sympathetically. "Is it to create a bad association with muggle things and therefore them?"
"No, don't be ridiculous. It's such a light punishment, the fact that it's coming from a noble family is rather unbelievable. I really don't understand why Evan is acting like this."
Pandora nodded back in thought but Dorcas piped up "Hold on, why would you be punished because you got hurt?"
"Because" Regulus sighed "he took the stupid decision to go climb up a tree and his parents had to waist time putting it back together and he needs to learn there are consequences to stupid decisions."
"But he got hurt so surely he'll learn his lesson from that?"
"My mother said the child has absolutely no respect for authority, needs a firm hand, if anything she thinks they should be doing more."
Dorcas looked at him with a mix of sympathy and betrayal in her eyes. "But you don't agree with her, do you...?"
"If the kid is disres-"
"No ifs, you know Felix, from the sound of Evan's stories he is a very dutiful child."
"To Evan. He seems to lack respect for his parents."
"Maybe they should put more effort into raising their kid instead of leaving it to Evan, then they'd get the respect he does." Dorcas glared at Regulus.
Regulus stayed silent for a minute before going to speak and stopping to say something else. "Evan." Dorcas looked away from Regulus and Pandora focused back to earth.
Pandora ran over to him, he was laid back against a tree with Barty by his side. Dorcas and Regulus ran over after.
Pandora sat on the other side of Evan and wrapped her arms around him. Dorcas sat down infront of Barty and Regulus stood infront of Evan. "What is the problem?"
Evan gave Regulus a death stare. "'What's the problem?' Are you serious? No, you're not Sirius, he left so I guess you have no chance of understanding. Let me spell it out for you. I. Actually. Give. A. Shit. About. My. Little. Brother."
Everyone stared at him shocked. Regulus mumbled either a curse or an apology, it was hard to tell, probably both, and sat down.
Evan 'Say even one mention of someone I love that isn't positive and you're dead' Rosier was considered the calm/sane one in the group, considering it included:
Barty 'I fight for the sheer thrill of it' Crouch Jr
Dorcas 'Mudblood? That's weird, you're the only one about to be covered in blood.' Meadows
Regulus 'Who the fuck do you think you are? I'm the Black heir, bow.' Black
And Pandora... She may not be a known threat to most but she's definitely the kind of person you would never want to cross the loved ones of, she may forgive but she never forgets. And you're really screwed if she can't forgive. A fact most people only learn too late.
Barty, Dorcas and Regulus getting mad at friends was not that uncommon, they all poked insensitive comments, Evan however, he'd laugh at their comments but his were ment to sting.
Dorcas took one for the team. ""So... Can we have a run down of the situation...?"
Evan sighed and looked down. "Felix fucking adores me, he's not just going to except not being able to write to me." Evan laughed a bitter, pained laugh. "And according to Walburga he's already started acting up to a point anyone can tell. My parents will be fuming at him, he won't care and there's nothing I can do."
Pandora hugged him tighter and Evan started glaring at the ground. "I don't know what they're doing to him but I know I'm going to fucking kill them."
Barty grabbed his arm and smirked at him when he looked over. "I'm down."
Dorcas laughed. "The end of some blood supremacists and child abusers? Count me in."
Regulus sighed. "My mother might kill me next but what the hell."
Everyone's attention turned to Pandora. "You know violence isn't the answer..." Evan looked at her betrayed. "But it definitely is one possible solution." She shrugged. Everyone laughed and Barty basically tackled Evan to the ground with a hug and took Pandora with them, Dorcas moved closer to the pile on the floor that Barty was calling a hug, she put an arm around Pandora and a hand on Regulus' shoulder.
Barty pushed Dorcas to the ground then laid on top of Evan and got pushed off him and to his left. Dorcas cussed Barty out to which he replied "Love you too, baby." And so she gave up and relaxed down next to Pandora who was laying peacefully next to Evan looking at the branches above them and how the sun shone through them, Evan copied her. Dorcas picked up a stick that was next to her, threw it away and smiled at Regulus who rolled his eyes and laid down next to her.
There was silence for a minute as they all stared up, maybe in another universe they all had good, non death eater parents. Evan broke it. "I'm sorry Regulus."
"Eh... You weren't wrong..." The silence came back, this time far more awkward.
"Evan, you know how I told you about Felix being at mine in my vision?" Pandora started.
"Mhm." Evan acknowledged.
"Maybe instead of getting sent to Azkaban, we could take Felix there this summer and have some more time to figure things out."
Evan turned to her, everyone was looking at her now but she remained watching the leaves blow in the gentle wind.
Barty was about to object then stopped himself. "Then you could have your parents get mad at you and say it was self defence..."
"Or..." Regulus started. "You could wait to kill them once you're eighteen then be able to become Felix's guardian so he doesn't get either no carer or a bad one."
Barty gasped "Then we can all get a house and raise him together!"
Dorcas laughed. "I like that idea but I'm not sure I'd want to be stuck in a house with you."
Everyone laughed but Barty, then Regulus said "I agree with Cas."
"Oh come on! You guys are such assholes."
Pandora started talking again. "We could get a nice big house in the countryside..."
"With plenty of room in the back garden to add hoops for quidditch." Dorcas added.
Regulus agreed. "And a library room."
"And-" Barty started. "You guys remember that muggle things I told you guys about right? The shooting ran-"
A loud chorus of "no"s came from the group.
"Oh come on! You guys are no fun."
They were a group of psychos and weirdos but it was moments like this that reminded Evan why he considered them his family.