One door closes, a window is smashed. Right?
Reina felt like she was moving in slow motion, her mind still reeling from the week’s events. She couldn’t face the cafeteria today, couldn’t stomach the thought of eating or being surrounded by the noise and the stares. Instead, she wandered to the grassy hill behind Hogwarts High, where the world was quieter, the breeze a little gentler.
She sat down, knees pulled to her chest, staring blankly at the horizon. Her chest felt tight, the same words swirling in her head, repeating like an endless loop of torment.
“You’ll never fit in. You’ll always look like an outsider, no matter how hard you try.”
Toby’s sneer and mocking tone haunted her, the ugly comments about her appearance clawing at her self-esteem, reducing it to dust. The image of him pulling at his eyes, slanting them in that awful, racist gesture, was burned into her mind. She had felt exposed, humiliated. His cruel mimicry of her Korean heritage was too much.
Reina squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will it all away, but the sting of it lingered, poisoning her thoughts. She hated herself for letting it get to her, for letting Toby’s vile words and actions seep into her bones.
“Hey, Black!”
She flinched slightly at the sudden voice, her heart skipping a beat. When she looked up, James Potter was strolling toward her, his typical grin plastered across his face. He was dressed in his usual red jacket, the color bright against his tanned skin, his hazel eyes full of playful mischief.
“Ditching lunch, are we?” James asked, dropping to the ground beside her like it was the most natural thing in the world. He stretched out on the grass, leaning back on his elbows, completely at ease. “Bad move, Black. You missed Barty trying to recreate the time he got stuck in a washing machine. Honestly, it was about five seconds away from becoming a disaster.”
Despite herself, Reina managed a soft chuckle, though her heart wasn’t in it. “I’ll bet. Sounds like classic Barty.”
“Totally classic. Evan had to physically pull him away from a chair he was going to use as a prop. I swear, the guy lives for chaos,” James said, shaking his head with a grin.
Reina couldn’t help but smile, but it was weak. The heaviness inside her hadn’t gone away. James was doing his best to lighten the mood, but her mind kept drifting back to Toby, to the cruelty she had endured, and how alone she had felt in that moment.
James noticed. His smile faded slightly as he turned his head to look at her more closely. “Okay, what’s going on, Black? You’re not yourself today.”
She hesitated, not wanting to burden him with her problems. But then again, James was different from most people. He didn’t brush things off, didn’t dismiss her feelings. Maybe she could tell him. Maybe she should tell him.
“It’s nothing,” she mumbled, staring down at her hands. “Just needed a break.”
James wasn’t having it. He sat up, his expression softening, but there was a stubborn determination in his eyes. “Don’t give me that. I know when something’s bugging someone. I'm a bit of a people expert so to say...Spill.”
Reina bit her lip, the words caught in her throat. She didn’t know where to start. Part of her wanted to keep it all inside, but the way James looked at her, like he genuinely cared… it made the walls she’d built start to crumble.
“It’s… Toby Mulciber,” she said softly, her voice barely audible. “He said some things. Really awful things.”
James’s face darkened, the usual playfulness gone in an instant. “What kind of things?”
Reina took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “He… he made fun of how I look. Said I’d never fit in, that I’ll always be an outsider.”
She blushed furiously. She felt embarrassed and she had no clue why, she hadn't done anything wrong, unless being born what she was was a crime?
James’s jaw clenched, his hazel eyes narrowing with anger. “He actually said that?”
Reina nodded, her chest tightening as she thought of the other, worse part. “And… he did this.” She lifted her hands, hesitating for a moment before mimicking the cruel gesture Toby had made, pulling the skin around her eyes to slant them, just as Toby had done.
James’s reaction was immediate. His face twisted in disgust, his fists clenching at his sides. “He did what? That little—” James's hero complex was kicking in and he didn't even care.
Because how could someone say that? James understood to an extent what Reina could be going through, heck he was half Spanish but there were a lot of Spanish kids in Hogwarts... Asians?... Not so much.
James remembered when he heard someone tease Sirius a few years ago and how Sirius had not understood the taunting at first.
James wanted to put Mulciber through a wall right the fuck now.
He stopped himself, taking a deep breath as if trying to calm the storm of fury bubbling up inside him. “I swear to God, Reina, if I see him, I’ll—”
Reina shook her head quickly. “Please, don’t. I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me. Barty already punched him.”
James still looked ready to storm off and find Toby right then and there, but he stopped himself. Instead, he leaned in closer, his voice tight but filled with concern. “That’s not just some dumb insult, Reina. That’s racist. And it’s not okay.”
“I know.” Her voice wavered, and she hated that the tears were threatening to spill again. “I just… I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I should be used to it by now, right?”
James’s expression softened, and he reached out, gently taking her hand. “No, you shouldn’t be used to it. And you shouldn’t have to be. People like Toby are just miserable, pathetic idiots who lash out because they can’t deal with the fact that you’re better than them.”
Reina tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a shaky sigh. “I don’t feel better than them. I feel… small. Like I don’t belong.” she knew it was stupid, hell she was small, a tiny sprite of a girl but this was a different feeling of smallness.
She felt ashamed.
James squeezed her hand gently, his voice quiet but firm. “You do belong, Reina. Screw Toby. Screw anyone who makes you feel like you don’t. They don’t get to decide who you are or where you belong.”
Reina’s chest tightened even more, the weight of everything pressing down on her. She tried to hold it together, tried to keep the tears at bay, but it was too much. Her voice broke as she spoke. “I hate that he made me cry. I hate that he got to me.”
James’s face softened even more, and without saying a word, he pulled her into a hug. It was sudden and unexpected, but Reina didn’t pull away. Instead, she let herself collapse into his arms, resting her head against his chest. The steady beat of his heart was comforting, grounding her in a way she hadn’t expected.
“You’re allowed to cry,” James whispered, his hand gently stroking her hair. “You’re allowed to be hurt. You don’t have to be strong all the time, Reina.”
She clung to him, her tears spilling over as she let herself cry. She hadn’t realized how much she’d been holding in until now, but the floodgates had opened, and there was no stopping it. She cried for everything—Toby’s insults, the pressure to fit in, the growing distance with Sirius, the exhaustion of trying to hold herself together.
James held her tighter, not saying anything, just letting her cry in his arms. His presence was solid, comforting, a reminder that she wasn’t as alone as she had felt.
After a while, her sobs quieted, her breathing becoming more even as the tears slowed. She pulled back slightly, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I… I’m sorry,” she mumbled, feeling embarrassed for breaking down like that.
“Don’t be,” James said softly, his hand still resting on her back. “You needed it.”
Reina sniffed, offering him a watery smile. “I didn’t expect you to be such a good hugger.”
James grinned, his usual playfulness returning. “I’ve got many hidden talents, Black. Hugging just happens to be one of them.”
Despite everything, Reina let out a soft laugh. It felt good to laugh, even just a little. The weight in her chest was still there, but it felt lighter somehow, like she could breathe again.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice full of sincerity.
James gave her a soft smile, his hazel eyes warm. “Anytime, Reina. Anytime you need me, I’m here.”
And if Reina looked at James and saw a little more to him than she had before, it didn't mean anything right?