My life could’ve been very different, Lily thought looking at Mary while holding James’ hand.
To say that everything was a mess would be an understatement. They were currently sitting in the great hall for dinner. Everything seemed normal. Even though it most certainly wasn’t. As if Mary had sensed Lily’s gaze she began to smile. But instead of looking at her she turned to the side and kissed Emmeline on the cheek.
Lily immediately lowered her head. Her insides were churning. She knew that she had no right to feel…whatever it was what she was feeling right now. It was just…Mary used to look at her like that. Beaming with joy and a certain sparkle in her eyes. It was a look that was meant for her. And for her only.
And even though she had no right to an emotional outburst of any kind, she couldn't stop herself from standing up abruptly, letting go of James' hand in the process. James, who had been head over heels in planning the next prank with Sirius and Remus just mere seconds ago, was now eyeing her with a frown.
“Lils? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Headache. Gotta go.”, she tried to keep her voice steady and smile at him reassuringly but judging by his facial expression she had failed miserably. Oh well, that’s a job for her future self then. Right now, she really had to leave. Her entire face was flushed, so she probably looked like she'd just run a marathon.
It was at this second that she realized that Mary was finally looking at her. Directly into her eyes. And Lily just knew that Mary understood perfectly well what had just happened. Mortified she turned to leave as the first tears began to run down her face.