Haunt me, then.

Regulus had never thought too much about love. He had read about it in plenty of books, sometimes toyed with the idea of experiencing something such as that himself, but ultimately rolled his eyes at the conjecture. He certainly couldn't base his idea of love off of his parents. Orion and Walburga had no time for such commodities, or much rather, they detested the very notion of love just as much as Regulus did.

Regulus Black had never thought much about love, but that was until he met the Sun.

The train ride back to Hogwarts felt as freeing as it always did after a summer break. Regulus always got the feeling that after a certain amount of weeks spent at home at the family estate, Grimmauld Place began to seep into his bones, leaving him with a certain coldness that he simply could not shake off, no matter how many jumpers he layered over the other. His empty room spare for a desk, a chair and his four poster bed became an enclosure he couldn't wait to escape. His mothers breath was still fresh against his cheek. ‘Behave yourself,’ she spat. ‘Make us proud.’ Her sharp nails took one last plough into his arm and then herself and Orion turned their backs walking promptly back inside as Regulus made his descent into one of the many Black Family owned cars. Sirius had decided to catch a lift with James. It would be Regulus' first year riding to the Platform 9 3⁄4 by himself. He hated his brother for it.

Regulus hated Sirius for many things - his pride, his confidence, his having been sorted into Gryffindor house six years ago. It was stupid. In fact, Regulus would go as far as to say it was childish. Who even cared about school houses anymore? The whole ordeal was rather archaic. But Regulus did care, and so did the rest of the Noble House of Black.

Regulus hated his brother for many things, many things he himself deemed childish. But most childish of all, Regulus hated Sirius for being himself.

The wagon door slammed open with an aggressive thump, forcing Regulus to look away from the window he had been dazedly gazing out of. In peeked a mop of black hair, the boy’s wry grin reached his dark green eyes, crinkling with mischief. ‘Reggie!’, he plonked himself down on the cushioned seat across from himself, his long legs reaching the tips of Regulus inky black Mary Janes he had so carefully tried to tuck to the side. Regulus looked away from Barty’s lithe figure before he would be caught staring, he knew he would never hear the end of it.

‘What happened to the others?’ Regulus asked, turning his attention back to the rising hills of the Scottish countryside.

‘No hello? No it's so nice to see you Barty?’ out of the corner of Regulus' eye he could see his friend making himself comfortable, laying himself down completely on his seat, nestling his head onto the backs of his arms, his feet hitting the thin partition walls of the train. Regulus wanted to wrinkle his nose at the act of indecency.

He turned his head back to Barty with a sigh ‘Hello Crouch, it's so nice to see you.’ He even offered Barty a polite smile, ‘What's holding up the others?’

Bartys eyes were closed, his snarky grin however still very much in place. ‘Lovely to see you too Black, the others should be here soon, just sorting out their trunks is all’

Regulus made a dismissive tone and turned his head back to the window.

‘Say Reggie,’ came Barty’s voice.

Regulus didn't bother turning his head again, he was getting irritated now.

‘What Barty’, his words were muffled by the palm of his hand on which his chin was resting on, his vexation hopefully clear.

‘Why didn't you answer any of my letters over the summer? Any of anyone's letters for that matter.’

Regulus' heart sank as he thought back to Grimmauld Place, how his mother had made him watch her throw each and every letter he’d received into the fireplace. How he had fought the tears that welled up into his eyes, and had then to kiss her cheek goodnight.

‘Didn’t receive any, must have sent them to the wrong address.’

‘We were all worried about you, you know.’ Barty’s voice had gone soft and tentative, aware he was treading on thin ice.

Regulus only shrugged, keeping his eyes carefully trained on the greenery.

Barty left Regulus to his sulking and soon enough Evan Rosier made his appearance, alongside a very frazzled looking Pandora Lovegood, both adorning their school uniform with ties complimentary to the school house they had been sorted into, Slytherin. Evan slid into the booth Barty had been snoozing in, pushing his spidery legs carelessly out of the way, to which Barty gave an undignified and surprised yelp.

Pandora sat herself next to Regulus, tucking her feet underneath herself and plucking out the newest edition of The Quibbler from her dingy satchel that Regulus swore she has had since First Year. Pandora looked gorgeous in her uniform, the mandatory skirt for girls showed off her soft legs and dimpled knees. Regulus wished he looked like that in the school skirt.

A stupid wish. A chill ran down Regulus' spine at the thought of Walburga finding him in the school boys trousers. He had been caught trying on those belonging to Sirius. He hadn’t been allowed dinner for a week thereafter.
He looked over at Evan and Barty already bickering and sighed to himself for what must have been the hundredth time this past half hour, then went back to his wistful gazing out of the window.

The next few hours were filled with hearty chatter, and soon enough there were sweet wrappings lying all over the carriage floor after Evan and Barty had bought what could only have been the entire stock of chocolate frogs. Regulus kept to himself, staying seated in the nook by the window occasionally dozing off. His rest always interrupted by a bark of a laugh from Evan or an outcry from Barty, however always soothed back to sleep by Pandoras delicate humming. Regulus had to think of Sirius. Where would he be sitting? Probably running up and down the aisles like the knob that he is. Probably yanking Snape's trousers down with his buffoon of a friend James. A bubble of anger towards his brother formed deep in the pit of Regulus' stomach.

Sirius could get away with such things, what Sirius did didn't matter to mother and father anymore. Sirius could behave any which way he liked. Sirius was a boy.

The Great Hall looked as stunning as it did every year, Regulus couldn't help but feel that childish excitement rise through his chest and so had to grit his teeth hard to avoid an eager grin from gracing his face. Himself and the rest of the Sixth year Slytherins took their place at the dining table as the older years filed in after them. He drifted off during Headmaster Dumbledore's speech, mentioning the dangers of the Forbidden Forest as he did every year. The sorting took place much faster that year, Regulus got the feeling. McGonagle read off each of the First Years' names off of a long piece of parchment that reached the floor. He looked over to Pandora, who was seated to his left, grinning at the Slytherin newcomers.

Regulus couldn't help himself. He scanned the Gryffindor table looking through the faces of all the animated seventh years searching for Sirius' face. There he was, the centre of attention as usual. So loud that Regulus didn't even have to strain his ears to hear the conversation he was having with Lily who was looking at him with her typical sly smile, her red curls cascading elegantly over her broad shoulders. The Git.

Reguls waited, he continued to stare, unabashedly, waiting on Sirius to look back at him, to give him any sign of acknowledgement. He didn't. Even after the speech had ended and the new teachers and staff had been introduced. Even after desert had been brought out.
One would think Sirius Black never had a younger sister.

Unpacking his trunk always came with an abundance of feelings for Regulus. Every year since joining Hogwarts he felt the bittersweet yearning to unpack his clothes alongside Evan and Barty. To share a dorm with them instead of with Pandora. He would pull out his dresses and skirts, his ill fitting blouses and uncomfortable wiry bras, the same feeling of helplessness washing over him year after year.

Pandora would tell Regulus what she got up to over the summer, what museums she had visited with her father, what new science experiments she found particularly interesting, what she was thinking of writing about for her new article in The Quibbler, and if Regulus would want to write an article himself. To which Regulus always replied with a polite smile, ‘I’ll think about it, Pans.’ and went back to filing his frilly socks into his cupboard.

That first night at Hogwarts Regulus was never truly able to shake the cold feeling of Grimmauld Place from within his bones. Barty always said ‘It takes our Reggie here a few weeks to warm up to peasant living.’ Regulus wanted to kick him for it. He wouldn't be entirely wrong. It was known that Regulus Black came from one of the wealthiest families in the United Kingdom. He always has the most expensive clothes, the newest gadgets and the best supplies. Regulus has no reason to be crying alone at night in his warm upholstered bed with its pink silk sheets and cotton lining.

-

Barty Crouch was annoying at the best of times, sat next to Evan Rosier however, he he was an unstoppable force . Giggling throughout the lesson, shouting profanities across the classroom, taking the others in tow alongside him with Evan spurring him on, leaving Professor Hooch a red hot roaring mess by the time their Business lessons were over. This left the professor no choice but to move Barty to the empty seat beside Regulus, who was to act as a ‘Good influence’ on the boy. Regulus could but only roll his eyes, already mourning the empty space next to him as the rowdy character took his seat, twirling around to grin at Regulus. “Could’ve done worse” he announced as he playfully tugged on Regulus' tightly plaited braid, Mulciber and his lot erupting into loud cheers. Hooch gave the class a disapproving look, and so Barty dropped the plait and turned back to the board, snickering slightly.

Regulus kicked at Bartys shin viciously, making sure the point of his shoe dug deep, the other lept out of his seat with a howl of torment.

‘Crouch-’ Hooch all but roared ‘- I swear to Merlin, if you are not seated and silent for the rest of this lesson so help me god I will sit you in after school detention for the rest of this School year-’

‘But Miss-’

‘And I shall take you off of the Lacrosse team!’

With this Barty was silenced.

‘If the git even makes it on the team-’

'ROSIER-’

The class erupted back into its usual chaos, Hooch giving out to Evan who had crouched himself under his table after Barty threw his pencil-case at him, missing the boy entirely and now its contents lay all over the floor.

Regulus let out a sigh, taking a quick glance at the clock above the chalkboard. Not long until tea, he could wait fifteen minutes. Peering down at his notes, Regulus realised there were very few. Another sigh, he’d have to study most of the curriculum himself it seemed, and while he was well accustomed to the Hogwarts library, he didn't fancy spending too much of his time there as the chances of being met with one of Sirius' Gryffindor pals were very high. Regulus preferred to avoid them. Better yet, forget their existence altogether.

The shrill ringing of the bell told Regulus he had been in his own thoughts for too long, he reached for his book and pencils, swiftly placing them into the brown school satchel his mother had bought for him. It was beautiful, high quality and expensive. Pandora had fawned over it that morning, complementing its ‘many little pockets’, before Regulus had torn it out of her grip and stalked out of the room. He hated the bag. He hated that it had to be worn on his shoulder rather than on his back like the rest of the boys, like Sirius, he got away with his ratty black rucksack that he's had since third year. Walburga agonised over it, bought him the newest and most costly bag every year to no avail. Regulus jerked the bag over his shoulder, albeit too aggressively, missing Bartys chatting face by a mere inch, striding out of the classroom as quickly as possible so as to prevent a potential altercation with any of the rest of his demented classmates.

Sitting through Tea was no better, Barty and Evan mucking about as Pandora airily retold Regulus the events that went on in her first lesson with Professor Sprout. Regulus spotted Sirius sat with Marlene and James two tables away, hunched over what could only be the newest release of The Lacrosse Journal. All three fitted in their blazing red Lacrosse uniform, unlike the rest of the school those that played for their houses lacrosse team were permitted to wear the uniform. Regulus studied Marlene, draped over the table pointing something out to the two boys. Her blonde hair strawy and cut incredibly short into a strict bob that Regulus thought was much too aggressive, her sharp face and perceptive eyes flashed brilliantly as her and Sirius shared a joke, laughing loud enough for it to echo in the Great Hall. Regulus simmered with anger, looking away before the thought of a girl wearing a boys jersey and boys school trousers brought him over the edge.

‘Are any of you going to Lacrosse tryouts tomorrow?’ Regulus asked, the first thing he’d uttered since they'd all sat down, cutting right through Pandora's recount of hereditary diseases and how endangered Regulus was due to his family's long lineage of interfamilial marriages.

‘Lacrosse? Ye, I was gonna go to the tryouts, my dad’d hate if I got in’ Barty smirked, cold eyes gleaming with mirth. Regulus hummed in understanding, redirecting his attention back to his mug of tea he had been neglecting before.

‘Why the sudden interest Reg? There someone on the team you got your eye on?’ Evan snickered as Regulus shot him an unimpressed glance back. James now getting up presumably to get himself another heap of biscuits as he always did.

‘Just wondering whether i’d have to freeze the arse off of myself sitting in the crowd with Pans this year.’

‘You’d come and cheer for us when we play?’ Barty exclaimed excitedly, sloshing his cup of tea over his hands and fingers.

‘I never mentioned any cheering’ Regulus grimaced as Evan attempted to wipe Bartys sugary tea off the table.

‘I shall cheer for the two of you, arse frozen or not!’

‘Thanks Pans’ the two boys smiled.

Regulus sat his mug down, the tea now cold, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

‘Where you off too so early?’ Evan questioned, the wet napkin pressed between his fingers

‘Maths’ he retorted shortly, brushing his hands down his skirt, ‘I have to walk across to the astronomy tower for accelerated courses.’ Evan gave a nod, his interest already fading as Barty produced some new gadget he’d bought over the summer from out of his bag, Pandora even leaning in for a better look.

Regulus made his way out of the Great Hall, clutching at the strap of his satchel, cursing himself for it and ultimately dropping his hands to his sides. The commotion outside of the Hall broughtRegulus to a halt, students pushing and shoving their way to the front of the large bulletin board hung onto the wall by the large wooden doors of the chamber. The flurry of red, gold, blue and green jerseys told Regulus it was the Lacrosse sign up sheet. He fought the anger that built its way up his chest as he was shoved to the side by eager students. Regulus thrust himself through the sea of students, eager to get away from the sheer volume they created, panicked slightly at the thought of being late for his lesson. They wouldn't ring his mother, but she would know, she would find out.

Marching up the spiral staircase left Regulus winded as he pushed past the wooden doors into the classroom. He was the first one there, not even Professor Mcgonaggle had arrived yet. Regulus sat himself by the window at one of the round tables towards the back, he was less likely to get picked on to answer questions. Not that Regulus wasnt well able to answer them, he had worked hard the year before to achieve stellar results in his O.W.Ls allowing his taking of the accelerated course in mathematics. Mcgonaggle was known for her harsh teaching and even harsher grading, however Regulus was prepared to excel in these upcoming exams as well.

Slowly students filed in taking their seats, careful not to sit at the empty seat beside Regulus. A common occurrence, his being part of the Noble and most Ancient House of Black made the other students nervous, and he lacked the social skills that Sirius had to indicate to the others that he wasn't a threat. He also lacked the care to make such an indication. He was happy to sit by himself, preferred it even.

The lesson started with no hiccups, everyone studious or sensible enough to know to get on with their work instead of tossing around. Regulus was scratching his head over a sum when three quipped knocks came from the door. He looked up, as did the rest of the class and Mcgonagall, who pointedly looked in the direction the sound came from ‘Come in’, came her stern voice. Immediately the door burst open, in came a bustling James Potter. His cheeks slightly red, likely from embarrassment, and his dark unruly hair sticking up in all possible directions like the antenna in the Slytherin common room Pandora had fiddled with, insisting that if she bent it a certain way the radio station would be able to stop playing opera music. She was correct, but that was because she had broken the thing.

‘Mr Potter?’ Mcgonagall raised her eyebrows at the boy, who was now furiously looking through his beaten up rucksack ‘Ye Miss, I forgot to tell you but Dumbledore wanted me to give you this’ he produces a wrinkled and, knowing Potters type, probably torn piece of paper. Archaic squiggly writing unmistakably belonging to Professor Dubledore all over the paper, now being handed to Professor Mcgonaggle. ‘Didn’t do too well on the exams last year’ Potter had the sense to look sheepish at this ‘Dumbledore wants me to sit through the sixth year maths classes as well as my seventh year ones.’

‘Professor Dumbledore.’ Mcgonagall corrects, not looking up from the chicken scratch before her.
Potter stayed put at the front of the class, winking at the girls sat closest to the Professor herself, chuckling under his breath as they giggled slightly.
‘Well Mr. Potter, I see it is so. Lets hope you do well on this year's exam so I won't have to see you again next year.’ She glanced over, a slight twinkle in her eye.

Even Minerva Mcgonagall wasn't immune to James Potter's charm.

‘Take the seat beside Miss Black.’ Mcgonagall dismissed him, her attention back on papers in front of her.

James scanned the faces of each of the students, Regulus turned his face back to his sums making a point as to not look in Potter's direction as he clumsily made his way to his table. Potter announces his presence through loud shuffling, pulling the chair back making it scrape horribly against the floor and noisily plopping himself into Regulus space.

‘Could’ve done a lot worse.’ Potter whispers in greeting, pulling more wrinkled papers out of his bag. Regulus ignores him, his eyes still stuck on the same sum as they were before Potter disrupted the lesson.

Minutes go by Potter stays silent, as silent as Potter gets, before he asks; ‘lemme share your book, haven't got mine with me.’ Regulus can feel Potter's stare, he wished he hadn't tied his plaits so tight this morning so that his flushed face wouldn't be so on display. He was furious. Red hot furious.

‘Why don’t you have a book?’ Regulus spat, refusing again to turn towards the other.
‘Dunno, just forgot, listen Regla it'll only be for this lesson, I don't want Mcgonagle up my arse on the first day.’ Potter leans in further, his antenna-like hair making its way into his vision.

‘Professor Mcgonagle’ Regulus corrects. ‘Find someone else to share a book with’

Potter chuckles lowly, ‘Reg, I can’t sit anywhere else’

‘Potter, I'm trying to do my sums. It isnt my fault you couldn't organise yourself a book.’

Potter sighs into his chair, thrumming his pencil against the desk.

With five minutes of the lesson left, Regulus thought he was in clear water. He would speak to Professor Mcgonaggle after lesson, ask for Potter or if need be himself to be moved and he could carry on with his studies.

‘You want to sign up for Lacrosse tryouts?’ Potter whispers

Reguls blood runs cold, panicked he scans the eyes of his classmates.
She would know.

‘Whatever gave you that idea?’ Regulus looked at Potter now, lazily draped over his desk poking holes into his eraser with his pencil.

‘I saw you, in front of the sign up sheet’ he looked over at Regulus, his eyebrows strung in a questioning crinkle.

‘I was nowhere near the sign up sheet, there were many people outside of the Great Hall, you must have mistaken them for me.’

Potter grinned ‘Nah, you have a very distinct look about you Reggie. It had to have been you.’

‘Don’t call me that.’

‘What would you like me to call you? Miss Black?’ he says with a chortle

‘Shut up Potter’ Regulus feels his face go red with fury, shoving his books into his hated satchel. His hope of being able to speak to Professor now diminished, alongside his patience.

‘You should sign up’

She’ll know.

‘That desperate for players Potter?’

‘I think you’d be good.’

Regulus snorts, ‘entirely unbecoming of a young woman’, his mother would comment.

‘Shut up Potter.’ With that Regulus trailed out of the classroom alongside the rest of the students, reminding himself to get to his next maths lesson early to speak to the Professor about a potential change in seating arrangements.

Pandora found Regulus in the hallway, pulling him into the next girl's bathroom insisting on there being Phenolphthalein in her hair ‘It's pink Reggie, can you see anything pink?’ 

And while Regulus could see nothing but pale hair and dandruff, he decided to entertain the idea slightly so Pandora wouldnt keep him up all night worrying about the supposed chemical that made its way into her hair.

‘I should have a word with Professor Slughorn about an increase in lab safety.' Pandora said airliy albeit the frown on her face

‘That could have been very dangerous’ Regulus hummed in agreement, brushing the rest of Pandora's stray hairs out of her round face.

‘Lucky I have such light hair, imagine if it had hit you’ gently Pandora pulled at Regulus' dark plaits. ‘Your hair,’ Pandora had to look up slightly at Regulus.

'It's gotten so long over the summer, I hadn't even noticed before.’

Regulus mustered up a chuckle ‘Hasn’t it just.’ Walburga hadn’t let him cut it. ‘Regla you have such beautiful hair’ she would say, running a bony hand through Regulus' hair, ‘Just like your mothers.’ a smile, teeth too big and too angular for her face glinting at him under the light of the fire. The smell of burning letters.

‘Pans it's nearly ten,’ he says, pulling away from Pandora's grasp ‘I don’t want to have to look at Filch, the ugly thing.’

Pandora chuckles ‘That’s rude Reggie’

Regulus smiles as Pandora links their arms together.

Together they make their way through the halls of Hogwarts, the stone corridors dimly lit. As they walk past the Great Halls large doors, the bulletin board catches Regulus' attention. The tryout list, full of handwriting ranging from prim and proper to intelligible cacography. ‘Pans, I’ll be in the common room in a minute.’
The girl gives him a questioning look.

‘It’ll just be a minute, I wanted to talk to Mcgonagall about my seating arrangement.’

‘Need me to come?’

Regulus smiled, ‘I’ll manage on my own.’

Pandora nodded ‘In a few minutes then.’ and walks down into the dungeons of the Slytherin common room.

Regulus waited a moment, his ears pricked for any other students walking the halls. He marched over to the sign up sheet, ready to see what all the commotion was about. The page was filled, so full students had resorted to stapling post it notes under the sheet. At the very top of the page, in imperfect cursive letters stood ‘Sirius Black’. The ‘S’ more sloppy than usual however the large egotistical swoop of the letter was unmistakably Sirius doing. He could write much clearer than that, purposely making the effort to seem as though he were making no effort. What a twat. Regulus felt the urge to crossout his name. Crossout his name and write his name over it in big capital letters. REGLA BLACK. Regulus. Sirius could do what he wanted, grow out his hair, play lacrosse, wear a rucksack, change his handwriting.

The sharp tears in Regulus' eyes only became apparent when he had to wipe them away, for the doors of the Great Hall were being opened and he could hear boyish snickering.

‘No-’ more laughter ‘No, Pete you first.’

‘I don’t - what about Filch.’ the boy, Pete, laughed

‘Filch can sod off, now fucking go.’

There was a slight scuffle, and before Regulus could hide himself away in the Slytherin common room Peter Pettigrew was shoved out of the doors, his arms full of food, stolen from the school kitchens. Behind him followed Regulus' brother. Sirius.

Regulus was too stunned to speak. The other two boys hadn’t noticed him yet as they continued to giggle, Sirius holding on to bottles of Butter Beer laughing every time they clinked together. It was only when Regulus made a move towards the dungeons that the boy's laughter died down.

‘Regla?’ It was Sirius. Regulus thought to turn away completely, ignore the two of them and make his way down to the common room. What happened to Reggie?

‘Sirius.’ Regulus retorted, looking past his face at the lantern behind him.

The silence felt loud and unbearable as neither of them made a move to speak, Peter visibly uncomfortable.

‘Thinking of signing up?’ Sirius asked, nodding towards the board.
Regulus scoffed, he could see Sirius' patience dwindling.

‘Why else would you be stood here?’ he challenged

‘Speaking to Mcgonagle.’ Regulus retorted curtly

‘At five past ten?’

‘I care about my studies Sirius, that's more than you can say for yourself.’

‘Sod off Regla.’ Sirius sighed,, turning back towards Pettigrew, nodding his head in the direction of what Regulus assumed must be the Gryffindor common room. Peter turned back to look at Regulus, giving him a polite nod before trailing behind Sirius’ lithe figure. It wasn't long before Regulus could hear them begin to giggle again.
Silently, Regulus steps his way to bed. Making sure not to wake a snoring Pandora. She could never stay awake long enough to wait on him. Regulus thought back to Sirius and Peter and the food and ButterBeer in their hands. Was Gryffindor tower having a party? Maybe just Sirius’ Dorm friends. Either way Regulus wasn't the least surprised he was in the thick of it.

Regulus had a restless night, tossing and turning.

What happened to Reggie?