Remus Lupin was exhausted. He had had a really bad day and had heard a lot of nasty remarks about his condition. Although it might seem like a mystery, it wasn’t so surprising once you graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and had to go to the Ministry of Magic to register as an adult werewolf. You might also think that unpleasant confrontations with an old enemy were a closed chapter, but you couldn’t be more wrong. That’s what Remus Lupin discovered during a meeting with the pretty redhead, Lily Evans.
So he was tired, and all he had dreamed about during the dusty afternoon in Muggle London was a robust tea and maybe Sirius Black’s finest cigarettes. These things were much better than his own cheap, nauseating cigarettes, which he had bought from a very suspicious young lady in his hometown for a small amount of money he had earned not quite lawfully.
Sometimes he regretted going to school and trying so hard to be the top student, believing that maybe, just maybe, the little werewolf could have a bright future with a well-paid job. Lupin chuckled at those bittersweet memories and shook his head angrily. What a fool he had been! The werewolf—what a bloody monster!—could never get a chance to live like normal people… What rubbish!
He tossed the flat packages—some presents from Lily—onto the dinner table in the small lounge. Rubbing his face with his scarred, rough hand, he went to the tiny, poorly furnished kitchen. There, he reached for an old, chipped mug from one of the three cabinets. From the second cabinet, he pulled out a box of his favourite, luxurious English tea, which Sirius had given him on their first anniversary, along with beautiful but inedible flowers. It tasted like a private heaven, which Black had unlocked for him. Though it felt a little odd to sip that divine liquid from an ugly, plain, not sophisticated and definitely not cup thing, Remus could not have cared less at that moment.
Remus was sick of everything and everyone, not to mention that the full moon was just a few days away. He had just had enough. He leaned against the kitchen annexe, and with eyes squinted in contentment, he savoured the delicious tea. Finally, something good had happened on this awful day!
Suddenly, he heard an unusual noise coming from the door, reminiscent of earlier in the day. Sirius couldn't have returned from his meeting with James Potter yet—it was too early. The nineteen-year-old man furrowed his brows in worry, left the now empty mug, and brought out his wand from the back pocket of his baggy jeans.
The situation was grim at that time. Voldemort was growing in power, and every wizard, perhaps except Albus Dumbledore, was afraid to speak the dark wizard's name. Muggles and Muggleborns were disappearing or being killed by Voldemort’s army of Death Eaters. Everyone had to be on instant vigilance.
Remus slowly moved towards the living room, which was located just by the front door, his wand held firmly in his right hand. He stopped in the hallway and felt a sense of relief as he saw the familiar silhouette of his beloved boyfriend.
“Do you really have to scare me like that?” Remus asked coldly, crossing his arms over his chest. “I swear on Merlin, you really freaked me out this time!”
The man with long, black, curly hair and handsome face turned around to Lupin with vicious grin.
“I’m sorry, Love but I’ve never heard of a duty to report myself when I return to my bloody house” he replied softly.
Afterwards, Sirius reached into an inner pocket of his precious leather jacket to grab a new box of the finest, most expensive cigarettes. He fished one out along with a plain lighter, and then put the box back where it belonged. He took off the jacket, threw it messily onto the couch, and remained in his thin grey T-shirt.
Remus sighed with tiredness. He loved that dark-haired idiot so much, but he could not bear his carefree attitude towards life. Black always responded to these complaints by saying that he was a bloody artist and therefore couldn't care less about something as trivial as keeping their flat tidy. Remus was so tired of arguing and so deeply in love with Sirius that he just let it go.
“What’s going on, Moony? You seem to a bit annoy… Is my little werewolf coming to me earlier this time? Hmm?” He asked teasingly, lighting the cig.
“Little werewolf?!” Lupin got mad. “I could kill you with easily, you fool.”
“I could kill you also.” Black winked to him, taking a drag on his fag. “What were the words which you spoke to me last night?” He pulled a falsely deep-thinking face. “Oh yeah… Sirius, for fuck’s sake… Sirius, I can’t handle it! Oh god I can’t any longer I’m gonna…”
“Shut up!” Remus yelled full of embarrassment. “Or I swear…”
“You didn’t complain when I talked to you dirty last time.” He said casually, interrupted Remus’ threats and shrugged his arms like it was nothing.
Lupin boiled with anger. He literally felt how blood raged under his skin. And because of that, he could not think clearly, which is why he finally spoke through gritted teeth:
“Are you fucking serious?!”
Black grinned happily. He loved to drive his Moony mad.
“As long as I can remember you’re the one who fucking Sirius.” He answered innocently and took another drag.
“Put it out.” Remus pleased calmly.
“Why?”
“Because that’s what I ask you for! I don’t like when you smoke this shit inside!”
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows but did not say anything. Instead he approached to the window and opened it wide open. After that he sat on an external sill and threw his legs of the window.
“What are you doing?” Remus asked hesitantly.
“I’m smoking that shit outside.”
Lupin sighed loudly. He felt sick.
“Fuck” he thought angrily, hearing cold reply. “What’s wrong with me?! Do I have to be such a wet blanket?!”
“May you wanna join?” Sirius pointed on the half burned cigarette. “And tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened.” He answered quickly, too fast.
“Don’t lie. I can see something eats you up… Come to me, Love.” He patted the free place next to him as an encouragement.
Remus with hesitate took a place and let Sirius to embrace him. He smelled the finest cigarettes, expensive perfume and the large amount of drunken Firewhisky.
“Excellent, we could fall and get killed and you’re not even sober.” He complained.
Sirius laughed although it seemed more dog bark than actual laugh.
“That’s even better. The muggle police could get conclusion about drunken lover who decided to kill himself because of that fucking society who is bloody dumb and ignorant about love. And after that people would understand that there’s no point to hate someone only for its preferences in love. And therefore that stupid bullshit wagon of hatred for people like us would stop.”
“You could also kill yourself not intentionally due to drinking the hell amount of alcohol.” He noticed, stole the cig and took a drag.
It always felt amazing to draw the smoke into his lungs and feel how it burned within him. His lungs were like a phoenix, being burned to ashes and then coming back to life when he breathed in the smoke. He liked to use metaphors; they made life a better, more enjoyable experience. And Sirius was the prettiest metaphor of his own believes, dreams and of course loves.
“Nah, my version is better than yours.” He said proudly.
“My version is more realistic and likely to happen.”
“You’re fucking pessimistic.” Sirius said offended.
“No, I’m realistic. It would never happen, Sirius. People die every day and most of us don’t give a shit about that. They wouldn’t care about us and our story. It would be probably in the morning newspaper and the next week nobody would remember us.” Remus declared sullenly. He took the last drag on cigarette and threw the useless butt away on the noise street under them.
Black watched it carefully and then he reached to his back pocket of jeans and brought out another box of cigarettes.
“What the hell?” Lupin gasped in shocked.
“I like to be prepared.” He winked to Remus, lighting the new cig.
Lupin giggled and reached over the box but Sirius was faster and took away that from his boyfriend. Werewolf stopped smiling and with agitation he tried to repossess that thing but dark-haired handsome put his hand up.
“Love, I’d like to smoke.” He pleased, did not give a damn about his wounded pride.
“Alright, Moony.” Sirius said, wide grinning.
“Pads, I was being serious. I really need to smoke.”
Black gave him his own fag and with worried he asked:
“Tell me what’s going on…”
“Nothing” he repeated stubbornly as he drew on the cigarette. “I’ve never thought that you could ever be tight-fisted.” He teased his lover boy, pointed on the stimulant in his hand.
“Oh, no.” Sirius burst into laugh. “You know I bloody love to spend the Black fortune but I love more sharing with you everything… especially cigarettes.” He took cig from Lupin and placed it in his own mouth. “Knowing that your perfect lips touched in a moment ago…” He hummed quietly. “It turns me on so fucking much.”
He put his big hand with bony fingers on his best friend’s knee and gently squeezed it.
“Sirius, not now.” Dark blond-haired man hissed red in the face. “We can’t do it here.”
“It’s not my fault that we don’t have a damn balcony! I showed you other houses but you said no.” Black accused him.
“Because that flat is everything what I can afford! I don’t have a full time job and bills have to be paid!” He shouted furiously. “And even if we had a balcony I wouldn’t let you start a foreplay there, where someone could see us!”
“You know well that money is not a big problem.” The man waved his hand dismissively. “My great uncle, Alphard left me a heritage. Actually, I’m bloody rich.” He added proudly.
“Exactly, you’re rich, not me. I can’t allow you to pay for everything. I’m your boyfriend not a paid prostitute!”
“I never said you are...”
“But others think different.” He whispered fatigued.
“Well, fuck them. Fuck their opinions.” Black shrugged his arms.
“It’s not easy, you know. Maybe for you, because you’re a rebel and don’t like to hear anyone telling you what to do, but I… I want acceptance. Fucking werewolf and gay wants to be accepted… What irony.” He laughed sadly, pull strand of hair desperately.
“I… I want to be accepted too. It’s tearing me apart when I think about all the noble wizards who consider me as a blood traitor and the rest of magical society believes that I’m the bloody Death Eater. The good ones hate me because I’m Black and the bad ones despise me because I’m not a Black who supposed to be.”
“I don’t think so.” Lupin said quickly, wanted to reassurance Sirius.
“I know.” He replied with softness in his voice. In his grey, pretty eyes Remus saw love for monster, for him. “And that’s more than enough.”
“So are we going back?” Werewolf asked after a long silence, did not want to break it.
It was a good silence, though—not one of those where you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. It was different. Lupin felt loved and knew that he has something what he always dreamed about: acceptance from his beloved person. And Sirius was right, that was enough to be happy.
“I’d like to smoke more.” The man spoke and for affirmation his words he tossed the burned cigarette and pulled out another. “And I’d love to hear from you what’s wrong.” He added seemingly lightly but he wore a worried face.
“I don’t know, Sirius.” Remus coughed up uncertain.
Black felt touched for thoughts that Lupin could not trust him.
“Hey.” He said softly, took his chin tenderly, therefore making his boyfriend to look at him. “I want you to know that you can tell me anything.”
The dark blonde man wanted to shout loud all his worries, nightmares and nasty comments which he heard too many times that it took hold in his brain and there was no way to erase it from his memory. But he did not do it. Instead of he smiled shyly and whispered:
“I came across a familiar face today.”
“And what happened? Who was that person?”
“It was Snape.” Remus gulped, hating say this name almost the same as that man.
Black became air-locked from outrage.
“And what Snivellus told you?!” He growled, clenching his fists.
“Some kind of bullshit like how monster like me can live and function in society and he humiliated me because of these failed attempts to find a work and I don’t even know how he found out about that…” He ended sadly, his voice was shaking.
“What’s a bloody git!” Sirius sworn with rage. “I wish I could find him with Prongs and give him a good lesson.”
“I think Lily heard it.” Lupin added with hesitation. “He wanted to talk to her, still did not want to believe in James and Lily’s engagement but she was stone deaf to his pleas. She passed him, didn’t glance at him and after that she tried to cheer me up.”
“Yeah, Evans is a decent girl, actually.” Sirius said slowly, exhaling the smoke. “I’m glad that Bambi has her, maybe sometimes she could make him to slacken off his antlers a bit…”
Lupin bitten his lips to not burst into mocking laugh on stupid comment from Black.
“I know Lils could be a real angel but even she doesn’t have a power to make Prongs to behave well less prongsy, I’m afraid.”
“Too bad for him” Sirius said with wicked grin. “Because at the contrary to Evans, I’m enough strong to tame a naughty animal.” He whispered last sentence to Remus’ ear, feeling the building tension in Lupin’s thighs.
“Not now, Sirius.” Remus repeated, looking pretty sad.
“And what about now?” Black asked, impatiently.
“It’s just… nobody trust me, you know? There’s a bloody war and I decided to join The Order but now I feel unwanted? Useless? I don’t know, it is quiet overwhelming to me that nobody could see in me something else than horrible, inhuman beast.” He ended wistfully, stole the fag and inhaled.
“Well I don’t know exactly about whom you talking about but I can assure you that Marauders and Evans will never ever doubt in you… We’re bloody family with unregistered Animagi and a little werewolf.” He smiled to him lightly.
“Don’t call me that.”
“But you are. You’re our little werewolf. If you like it or not.”
“Promise?” The light-haired man asked him with hope gleaming in his amber eyes.
“It will never change, Love. I promise.” He nodded with unlikely to him seriousness. “Now when we finally ended the small talk I would really appreciate if you want to go back to bedroom. I’m horny as hell and if you don’t like me to strip you right here in front of peoples’ eyes, you have to hurry up.”
Lupin shook his head in feigned annoyance, but secretly he loved when his man made innuendos, stroked his thighs (and Merlin something more!) and was himself. Because Remus Lupin was fall in love with Sirius Black by his whole heart and would never to stop it.
He grabbed Sirius hand, stubbed out the burning cigarette on the sill and with mischievous smirk he spoke:
“Well so why we are still stuck out here?”
With barked and more humans laughing they back to the flat and run to their bedroom. The werewolf felt so happy, delightful in that moment, hoped it would last forever.